How should I handle this situation with my SO's grandma?

Questions about my SO’s grandmother, I posted a post about one of my kids (that’s not her grandchild only by marriage) about her being sick, and she never asked what was wrong with her. But I posted another post about my other kid (that is her grandchild directly), and she asked/was concern about her issues. Please help what I should do, because my SO is taking up for her. Any suggestions?

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Is it possible that she did not see the post about the other child?

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If not her grandchild you cant force concern

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You…posted? As in on social media? Maybe… Get over it? She might have not seen it or something. Its a facebook post. You’re seriously worried?

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Good chance is she didn’t see it. Does she ignore the child in question when she is around them? Its a post. Do you get up set when other family members and friends don’t comment on one post but commented on another post? Why is she being held to such high standards?

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Some people dont see it but i have two grandchildren that isnt blood related but i dont. Treat them any different they are my grandchildren and i wouldnt have it any other way i love them

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Regardless the other child should be treated no different still her grandchild and if she can’t accept one maybe she shouldn’t be around any of them it’s not fair to the child they should never feel different or left out just because its only by marriage. It’s a package deal and your other half knew that marrying you

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Just tell her, you hurt my feelings because…
Blending a family is hard work.

Just like anything else she may not have seen 1 but did the other. Just because I follow someone doesnt mean I see all their post. I wouldn’t be too upset. Remain calm and have a simple conversation about the post. It’s ok momma. It would be different if u said she ignores the child that isnt hers or treats it differently than the others when shes around them or gift giving but u didnt it was a post.

You can’t figure people out. My husbands Mom( RIp) gave me mixed signals all the time. I spent way too many hours trying to figure her out. Getting mad at the husband even though it wasn’t him. It was his Mom. Let it go​:v::v:

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All I can say, pick and choose your battles wisely. In response, include both children’s health. Update her with both :heart::blush:

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Let things go.
Make sure your child is so secure with your relationship that they don’t even notice when things like this happen.

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Pick your battles carefully. The children will see how she is when they get older if Shes still around. Its not worth the drama and family feud.

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Do you know for sure she saw both post? Were the descriptions different for them? Like said what was wrong with either? Maybe she doesn’t want to step on your toes :thinking: lots of different reasons why maybe she didn’t say anything.

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In my experience, if they don’t show concern over one but they do over the other, I cease all communication and updates. I don’t care who it is, family or not, you treat my children the same or you do not deserve to be in either of their lives. May sound harsh but kids pick up on things like that and end up question why grandma doesn’t like them as much as their sibling.

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I say no excuses if you marry some 1 with kids its a package deal

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…its not her grandchild. Shes not obligated to say anything about them.

Id just act like she asked about all of your kids and reply that way. So every time she asks how “her” grandchildren are just reply with info on all of them.

Stop worrying about how people act on social media. Its juvenile. This isnt high school. Build a bridge and get over it.

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Stop post on social media about you sick kids. If she is only finding out that your kids are sick on social media that’s also a problem.

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It’s quite possible that maybe they didn’t see the first post. Only you know if Grandma is slighting the child that isn’t biologically related to her. If this was a one time moment let it go. You will find more peace in that decision than creating drama in your world over a missed comment on a Facebook post.

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Just reply with both of your children’s health status and at the end thank her for her for her concern. Be smart. Don’t start drama. And plus it shouldn’t affect you if they find out through social media that they were sick… That must mean y’all don’t talk oftenly so it ain’t a big deal. Ya know.

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Pick and choose battles honestly. Ppl dont ALWAYS see every post. Observe for a bit. I dont care about posts. I am more concerned with how ppl treat my kids in person

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Okay so I’m actually really lucky and my SO family excepts my son as his son (he’s the only person my sons called daddy) but I have this rule I guess you’d call it where if my kids aren’t treated the same by someone no matter who they don’t need to be around either kid.

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As others have asked, are you sure she seen the other post? Is ignoring your other child something she does regularly and this was just the most recent example? Does she treat the child different when she’s around them? I feel like there’s no where near enough detail to give any valid advice here. If she’s always treating your other child badly or flat out ignoring them, I’d simply cut her off and explain to your husband you won’t have one of your children treated as though they don’t exist or aren’t important. If this was a one off occasion, or she simply just doesn’t ask about your other child to you but treats them fairly when she’s around them, I’d say you’re being way too sensitive

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Dont answer her, period. Its obvious she pick and chooses favorites. Dont allow it or give her the access she wants to “her” grand children. When and if she asks about the “kids” talk up the one she doesnt like more then the other. Thats what I would do, act oblivious and let her get frustrated lol

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Gma will be that way, not worth being an arguement over. Just start with the non bio update first and then to the bio. Just express you & SO will always worry about # of kids. It let’s you say your peace peacefully.

Not her grandkid. She may accept her as her grandchild’s sibling but she’s not obligated to concern herself in her health.
Just accept it and move on. :woman_facepalming:

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She is not concerned and shows her true colors.

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NEVER let someone make one of your children feel less important !!

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First of all I gather you are not married since you refer to him as your SO. His grandmother is not your children’s grandmother so you might be expecting too much.

As long as she’s not treating them different in person. Stop caring about social media so much. But if its something that they can feel then I would talk to her about it. Why make an issue over something that might not be an issue with the children at all.

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My SO family is the same. They would treat his brothers wife’s first child as an outsider and its sad.

On another note. I was working as my SO grandmother home health provider and she fired me because I’m due any week now and got angry because when the baby comes we won’t love her anymore or go visit her and also angry because she legit asked me to give her my daughter for her to raise. I think it’s time for a nursing home lol

Girl, have your feelings, trust your gut. She is being silly and you know it. Protect your child’s feelings. If they won’t accept all of your family then sorry charlie and don’t engage with her! Does your husband accept your other child? This may be a deeper issue that you all have to look at and I wish you strength to get through it :peace_symbol:

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You can’t control how other people feel towards you or anyone we are all entitled to like or dislike whatever we choose as for myself I accept to love all my grandkids blood or not as the same they are all my concern but that’s my choice and his grandma his entitled to hers all you can do is just reply that all of the grandkids are doing good and whatever else their case may be

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It’s highly unlikely that she gets a notification or sees every single thing you post on her timeline

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I’m recently divorced, we have 3 kids and a grandchild. My ex wants NOTHING to do with his grandchild and his mother only wants anything to do with 2 of our kids. Uptight old biddy stuck in her selfrightous ways. I’m so glad to be divorced from him, the more he acted like her, I couldn’t be with him. He acted like a bitch and was lousy in bed.

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You either accept all my children or none.

I don’t play favorites and I won’t let someone play favorites with my kids.

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Just make sure this isn’t so thing your child has to tolerate it’s one thing to know but I would 100 percent out my foot down if she shows this favoritisms in front of the child!!

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Be blunt with her. You tell her it’s either both, equally… or none.
Simple and to the point.

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  1. Are you sure she even saw the first post? I miss like half my best friends posts and have her notifications to come up first.
  2. This is a petty thing to be mad at an old lady about, its a social media post. You should only be upset if this happens in real life where this actually matters to your kids.
  3. You’re taking fb too serious and might need a break.
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Do you know for a fact she saw both post?

That’s not a situation. You’re creating a situation in your own mind. Just forget about it

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Toxic is toxic. My rule always has been if you can’t treat my kids with equal kindness and love then you get no part in any of their lives. We don’t play that blood is thicker than water bullshit.

You really want to start sh*t over a Facebook post? :joy:

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Ugh. Your upset because she didn’t comment on one of your other posts? :rofl:

Maybe she didnt see the other post?.. I honestly think ur overreacting this.

Wow… seriously? :woman_facepalming:t2:

Honestly, this seems pretty petty. That said; I don’t know any of the rest of the dynamic. Is this typical? Does she seem to play favorites otherwise? I understand the most basic concern but without further details it just seems silly to even bother with it.

  1. Are you sure she even saw the first post?
  2. This is a petty thing to be mad at an old lady about, its a social media post. You should only be upset if this happens in real life where this actually matters to your kids.
  3. You’re taking fb too serious and might need a break.

My moms ex husbands family never treated me and my brother like my sisters that actually were. It never bothered us because we had OUR families. They sucked either way but it didnt bother us.

It’s social media! :woman_facepalming:t5: your fishing for a problem. Let it go. Mother in laws are different people. Stop reading into it.

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Even if she did see the post, so what? Let it go and move on. <–this life lesson learned early will help you enjoy the short time we have here.

Yikes, you’re fishing for an issue. It’s just social media.

Benefit of the doubt is always best at least twice???

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In life her missing a Facebook post is small stuff. The bigger question is how does she treat your child when they are together. The more you make this mine and ours in your mind the harder this gets.

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One is only responsible for ones own behaviour. Cant change other people . Her behaviour is downright annoying dont let her behaviour get to you. waste of energy and time