My partner’s adult daughter has asked me to watch her child on weekends while she is at work. I said I’m happy to most of the time as long as I don’t have stuff on. Well, I do have a few things coming up in the next month or so, and I won’t be able to all the time. Is it wrong of me to tell her that I will have some plans and won’t be able to? Or I have to commit to watching little miss and just wondering a nice way to word it and let her know.
221 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How should I handle this situation? - Mamas Uncut
Just tell her that usually you don’t mind, but that you have some plans coming up and you want to give her some notice so she can make other arrangements for babysitting.
18 Likes
I would let her know before hand so she can make other arrangements for child care.
1 Like
I would just let her know, send her a text like ’ on March 19 I’ll be doing such and such so I won’t be able to watch little miss’.
1 Like
Let her know what days you have other plans at least a week in advance or all that you have in the month. This will allow her to make other arrangements. Do not, however, back out on her last minute.
5 Likes
I would write down the dates that I was available so she can find someone on the other days.
1 Like
can grampa watch her?
Definitely let her know ASAP so she can make other arrangements. Also, as someone who has MAJOR guilt asking someone to watch my kids, just reassure her that you enjoy your time with her little one and are looking forward to the next weekend you’re available!
4 Likes
Just let her know. That way she can make other arrangements. Also, that’s your stepdaughter and grand child. Not his adult daughter and her child.
5 Likes
Well u did mention you would help if u available tell her da dates in advance n she can make prior arrangements
Just don’t commit yourself to something you can’t always do. Saying yes but I have plans on this date and this date, won’t work. Because if something comes up a couple of days before you are meant to help does that become your plan then and she won’t have care? Because to me that sounds like what will happen…
I remember my grandparents never ever having more important plans then helping my mum with us kids.
Saddly it’s changed over the years, you hardly see anyone helping out like they did back in the day.
7 Likes
Be upfront and honest. Tell her you’ve got plans and she will need to make alternative arrangements for her child.
3 Likes
Make a calender so you can make time for your self…And be care full because it can become a habit…
1 Like
“Hey listen I won’t be able to watch little miss on the following dates. I just wanted to let you know in advance so you can find backup”
That’s it
1 Like
Just be honest and open with her. She can’t be mad at you for having a life…
Tell her so she has time to make other arrangements. It’s what you do when you have kids.
I would just let her know the next time you see her. Give her the dates in advance so she can figure out accommodations that are needed. It is her child not yours. You are being helpful with the days you are able to help but it shouldn’t be in the way of you and your own life. The longer you wait the harder it will be to tell her and for her to arrange child care.
Tell her sooner rather than later so she can make other arrangements. You are not obligated and she shouldn’t make you feel obligated
Tell her you won’t be available on certain days in the upcoming month.
“Hey! Just letting you know I have an event coming up on so and so date that I would really like to attend, just letting you know now as I won’t be able to have little miss that weekend!”
1 Like
Nah it ain’t wrong at all. Just let her know nicely in advance that you won’t be able to on those days. It really shouldn’t be a big deal at al
Let her know in advance about plans, so she can make arrangements for the child. You’re absolutely amazing though, for willing to take on that responsibility 
Print up a calendar page with the days you won’t be available marked tell her the dates and why if she asks give her the page and send reminders a week before. The sooner you tell her the more time she has to find alternative daycare.
7 Likes
I agreed to a similar arrangement and let her know when I agreed that I already had things scheduled certain dates and what they were and that I would let her know as soon as possible if any new ones came up so she could find alternate care those days. I didn’t mind doing it when I was available but there were certain days I just couldn’t.
I’d give her a schedule of availability and let her figure out the rest. You’re giving ample time to find a back up.
You’re absolutely entitled to live your life and have fun. You can do both and no guilt should be present! 
I would let her no in advance so she can make other arrangements for a babysitter. U have told her if u got things on u can’t she well understand just be upfront with her
I don’t think you are wrong for wanting to have a life on the weekends. My parents also help me with child care when I need it but I always communicate early enough with them that if there is some kind of time conflict I can resolve it. Unless you are canceling a lot at the last minute for non emergency reasons then I think you are fine. I am incredibly lucky that my parents help me with free child care and I would never want them to feel taken advantage of regardless of work or a date night.
I mean in any babysitting situation, it would be polite to let her know sooner than later so she can look for other arrangements. I’m sure she would understand
She absolutely can’t expect you to do it all the time. And just let her know in advance…hey I can’t do it this date….
It’s great that you are willing to help! But she isn’t your child so if she expects you to keep her every weekend well that’s just wrong on her part …
Tell her. It’s ok to be a grandparent and set healthy boundaries. You are entitled to a life. I watch my grandchildren for 2 of my children. If I am sick or unavailable I tell them. They should always have a back up plan. Daycare providers take 2 week vacations and the parents still have to pay for those two weeks and find back up care. It’s ok to say no sometimes.
I would give her as much notice as you can that you can’t babysit so she can make other arrangements.
Let your partner watch them…problem solved.
1 Like
Be honest about it. Let her know so she can find another sitter.
Give her your schedule of when you are available. Be firm and put boundaries in place you don’t want any miscommunication to come from it all
1 Like
Let her know your availability. You’ve already told her you can help when available so maintain that without feeling obligated when you’re not available. Communicate as much in advance as possible because last minute no child care sucks and creates stress. I’d also ask your partner to be part of that plan to spend time with his grandchild.
You are being kind to help her out. Let her know a head of time politely that you have plans and can not watch her on those dates. She is very lucky to have you to watch her when you can. Blessings
4 Likes
Let her know your not avaliable on the dates in question, u did say as long as you had no plans
2 Likes
Why would it be wrong? You said up front that you’d do it as long as you don’t have things going on. If she doesn’t know any babysitters, refer her to care.com.
Just give her the dates in advance you can’t do it and then she will have time to get other plans in place
5 Likes
Just be honest & let her know you have some plans next month that’s giving her plenty of notice
5 Likes
Noting wrong with letting her know when you can’t ahead of time so she can find someone else to watch her kid
3 Likes
No, they’re not your kids, you didn’t decide to have them, grandkids should be enjoyed not a chore to have to babysit them day in, day out.
5 Likes
Tell her the truth like you originally did. She should have arranged someone else…then…
2 Likes
Give her notice. It’s okay.
3 Likes
You told you can watch the baby most of the time. Write down the days you can’t watch her and let her know ahead of time so she can make other arrangements.
2 Likes
Tell her in advance so she can arrange something else.z
Tell her now so she can figure out her childcare. If not then a sick day for her. Your stuff matters too
1 Like
Just tell her you have some dates for her diary where you’re not available so she will need to sort something else. If she gets nowty about it just remind her that you said yes but only when available, which she agreed to and these dates you’re not available for. While you love having your grand daughter over , you still have a life and things to do that she can not be a part of and if she continues to make a fuss then she risks any care at all! You are not to be taken advantage of and made to feel bad for having your own life to live!
1 Like
Give her advanced notice so she can find someone else. Don’t put her in the position that she looses her job due to nobody to take her child.
1 Like
Hasnt she got a mother to help as well ?
1 Like
You let her know that you have things coming up and give her time to find another babysitter for those days
2 Likes
If she has notice, there’s nothing wrong with needing some time off, even if personally you need a break. You have plans so I’m sure she will understand. My daughter goes to my parents house on weekends, but it differs if they have plans, or sick etc and it’s totally ok! and if you maybe can help her find someone else to watch baby. Is it a financial issue? is there any way you could help her out (or your partner) to find childcare and pay if it if you think this has become your responsibility,which it’s not, and doesn’t have anyone else? I didn’t have anyone else and I had to work around my work schedule. All and all everything has been good. I would assume as an adult she can figure out another sitter.
Tell her now when you won’t be able to keep her little one so she can make plans for someone rise to keep him/ her. You are not obligated to keep the child.
Give her the dates as far ahead of time as possible
Give her a notice so she has time to find another sitter and it should be ok.
No you told you wouldn’t be able to all the time. Just tell her
1 Like
Let her know. Compare calendars often
Give her a heads up. You’re allowed to do other things too
1 Like
Let her kno in advance. Do not wait till the weekend of. As a mom in the working field the struggle is real finding last minute coverage
Just give her some dates that you have plans so then she can get a babysitter etc.
Just give her notice so she can find someone else. You are not obligated to do anything for her, just bc she’s your partners daughter and it’s definitely not wrong of you to have your own life! If she can’t find anyone else and tries to make you feel guilty, do not fold! She will learn that working on weekends with kids is very tough, especially if it’s hard finding a sitter, and she’ll just have to find another job or adjust her schedule to HER kids schedule 
2 Likes
Just tell her politely and if she’s respectful towards you she shouldn’t get mad but you need to tell her now for she doesn’t have to rush to find someone else to watch the little one. And if she pays you advance do not take the money for those weekends. Can your partner watch her those weekends you can’t?
1 Like
You are not obligated to do anything. If you enjoy watching little miss then i would give her the available days/times that you areable to so she can plan ahead of time.
1 Like
Sounds like decent notice, give her the dates you cannot do it so she has time to find someone
1 Like
Did you say yes to very weekend for a while?
Or did you say yes depending on your schedule?
Anyways look a babysitter as 6 week time frame and let the parent know at least 2 weeks ahead of time
For example If I’m asked to watch a kid mon and Tuesday all summer and I say yes. I need to be free those day
But if I say I can buy I’ll have a few days I can’t I’ll let you know in advance.
Let her know in advance
2 Likes
Just tell her that you have plans coming up and she has to make other arrangements. 
1 Like
Let her know ahead of time.
If it’s something where you’re able, she’s ok, and you’re ok with it maybe you could offer to take the baby along (I know you can’t do this with everything but some things it might be ok).
if you can’t, you can’t, The fact that you do this a lot, she should be very grateful & happy
Just a thought… why is your partner/ "grandparent of the little miss " not involved in babysitting… please dont be offended if I misunderstood…
Set your own timetable of when you can babysit… thats a beautiful thing… and she will have to work around it. And organise other sitters when required…
You are not obligated babysit.
2 Likes
Tell her right away , so she has time to try and find another babysitter. Like sit down with her and show her all the dates on the calendar that you have to take off, so she doesn’t forget.
5 Likes
I think of you tel her she has more than enough time to find a sitter
Let her know that. As a mother with 2 young children I’m in the same boat as your partners daughter right now. Finding trustworthy and reliable people is sooooo hard right now. I know she would appreciate any days you can, and the others when you cant maybe try to help her find a backup in advance.
2 Likes
If that was the agreement, then of course it’s appropriate. Just give her the dates that you won’t be available as soon as you know.
Just give her plenty of notice and the dates that you you aren’t free Simple
If you said in the beginning that you would do it unless you had other engagements then it shouldn’t be a problem. Also, is she paying you for this or just expecting you to do it for free?
1 Like
Tell her when you’re not available so that she can make other plans. I’d say as soon as possible and hopefully she’ll take it in stride.
3 Likes
It’s ok to say no. You don’t always have to explain why.
2 Likes
Let her know in advance ao she can make other arrangements for childcare or change her schedule if need be.
2 Likes
Just let her know asap so she can plan ahead. Don’t feel bad for doing your own thing, especially when you have talked to her about it already and are giving her enough time to get a new sitter. It’ll be ok.
Definitely let her know in advance so she can make other babysitting arrangements
You told her you would as long as you have nothing to do let her know ahead of time that this weekend you will not be able to do it. Parents should always have a backup babysitter
Let her know ahead of time, when you won’t be able to and maybe help her find someone you both trust with the grand little.
Give her notice that you’re unavailable whatever days.
Just tell her ahead of time. This way it give her time to find some one else.
1 Like
I user to babysit my niece and nephew every weekend. If I had something to do that I couldn’t drag toddlers around with me then I told her as soon as I knew and she found other arrangements. No hard feelings. I loved having them every weekend but also needed my own weekends to myself and my sister knew that.
2 Likes
Just let her know in advance to make prior arrangements for the days u can’t watch her child simple, she’s an adult im sure she will understand
You’re doing her a nice favor, so just let her know your schedule and tell her you will do the best you can.
For one don’t be scared to voice your concerns or opinions. If you have an agreement just sit down & tell her all that you got going on.
Just tell her when you are not available. Gives her ample time to find a back-up
1 Like
It’s better for you to give her some time in advance, so she can arrange a nanny or ask another family member. Don’t stop living your life because of this arrangement. She needs to work to find a solution in advance so it doesn’t impact her work commitments.
Just let her know now the days you know of that you won’t be able to. There is no reason for her to get mad about it. I could see being mad if you don’t tell her in advance and then she can’t find other arrangements. But if you give her time to find someone else then there is no reason for her to be mad. Even if she doesn’t manage to find someone.
If it’s something the child can go to, take the child. Outings with grandparents are the best.
If it’s not feasible to take the child, let the mom know well in advance, “I’ve had a planned engagement for quite a while now & just cannot watch the child on this date”, & that gives mom ample time to find someone or request time off.
My mom watches my kids and when she has plans, she lets me know in advance and I figure it out. I either take off or have my fiance take off. We all just make it work or my dad helps out too. It takes a village to raise a family. And with a good support system anything is possible.
1 Like
If you don’t lay down boundaries now,it will be hard to try to later. Let her know far enough ahead that she can line up something else. It’s not your job to watch her,and you don’t owe anyone anything.
Don’t wait to long give her plenty of time to find someone else
2 Likes
Just give her a good enough notice
1 Like
I would nicely let her know as much ahead of time as possible so she has time to find other care for her daughter those days.