I had my oldest daugher when I was 15 years old and I was not in a good place. I was young and not stable. She was raised by my ex husbands family and I had visitations with her however it was his family’s choice to not complicate things so we were not really allowed a lot of time together. My daughter is 18 years old now and recently graduated and moved in with her boyfriend. We have been talking and visiting each other for about 7 months now and for the most part it has gone very well but I am new to this and I have so many questions for the moms with Adult children. The biggest question that is bothering me so much would be is it normal to sometimes feel like the only time your “adult” children reach out to you or even respond to you is when they want something ? Sometimes I don’t get a response for days and I get worried about her but then out of nowhere I get a text or a message asking for money or sending me links off of websites of things that she wants me to order her online and I just don’t know if this is because of our situation and our past or if this is normal behavior? I have struggled with guilt from my past and what happend but for the most part I have forgiven myself and I know that I done the best thing for her at that time and although to some It made me a terrible mother I belive that putting your childs needs and best interest before your own selfish desires is the best thing and my daughter had a great life! She was provided all of the things that I was not able to give her during that time and I am thankful for the people that raised her and I know that I made the right decision but this feeling of not knowing if she genuinely wants a relationship with me or if she just wants “things” from me is upsetting. I do for her as much as I can but I also do not want to enable any bad behaviors or “spoil” her with gifts and money but I am having a hard time finding the middle ground here and knowing if this is normal for young adults her age or is this because of our history ?