How should I reply to my boyfriends comment?

What is wrong with men these days? Looking for another mommy instead of a wife acting like that… unfortunately it’s probably only going to get worse :disappointed:

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Tell him he needs to buck up and help you and that YOU and YOUR TIME is JUST AS IMPORTANT as HIS. You signed up to be his partner not his parent. Explain that the MINIMUM that he should be doing is the same help you would expect from a ROOMMATE. period.

Tell him he lives there too an he can clean an get off his ass his two days off an be a adult an do some house chores

Stop doing it all stop cleaning the house doing his laundry anything for him only do your laundry cook your food clean your mess up he’ll get the hint and when he says something tell.his lazy ass yoir pregnant work 2 jobs 7 days a week you are that baby’s mother not his its nit your responsibility to pick up after him

I’m making a human wtf are u doing lbvs!!!

Oh lord, please sit down and have a major heart to heart with him about all of this. Pregnancy makes you tired in general and you go through spurts where you will be drained and you will have spurts where you clean like a mad woman and nest. When the baby comes all of this magnifies… more work and harder to get it done, less energy than you had during pregnancy, long nights. All of this will take a toll on you and your relationship, especially if this is how he is acting. Make a chart if it helps him see what gets done and what you need help with. Just address it now before the baby comes or you will be in a world of misery honey!

Omg has he laid a finger on the house? Your not the maid. You’re supposed to be partners and since you’re not only pregnant you’ve been medically sick too. Of he can’t help around the house now just think when the child is born. Is he going to think that thats your responsibility too and not his? That having his own child is baby sitting? Gotta sick down and tell him how you feel because obviously his comment was a jab and that can lead to so much more.

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He should be helping around the house if you’re both working regardless, but especially since you’ve been sick. Hooowwww can he know you’ve recently been admitted to the hospital, while pregnant, and have the AUDACITY to comment about how clean the house is. I’ll never understand how a man can expect a woman to do everything for them plus work. Go off on him, he deserves it.

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Ya that sux that ur having a child with this person whats he gonna do when the baby comes and there will be more of a mess and u will be even more tired instead of him picking up the slack like a decent man would do I would Definitely set him str8 that redicoulus

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He needs to do his part in cleaning …and it is hard since you being pregnant you will not going to be able to do alot around the house.he needs to undestand that…if he doesnt then no.point to be with him…sorry

I’d throw the whole boyfriend out lol trust me that thought process is only going to get worse after baby gets here. Then it will be you doing everything plus taking care of a baby

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Definitely have a heart to heart. You are not his maid or his mama. He needs to help out. If he can’t then tell him to hire a cleaning person. He refuses? Walk because it won’t change.

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Girl, if he’s not helping out he won’t change. I’d have an open and honest conversation with him. If he doesn’t change and help out. Why keep him around when your doing everything on your own already.:woman_shrugging:

Tell him if he’s that bothered to do it himself . He will soon shut up

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He has 2 hands and is able. If he wants things done and has enough energy to bitch he can pick up a cleaning utensil. :rofl::woman_shrugging:

If his first thought is to put you down instead of stepping up to help you while you are sick and PREGNANT, good luck getting him to step up after the baby.

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Ask him why he hasn’t done cleaning we are in 2021 it’s not just a womans job especially when you are pregnant and working 2 jobs 7 days a week what does he do in his 2 days off a week why can’t he pick up a vac also your his partner not his mother if he wanted someone to wipe his ass and clean up after him he should of stayed at mummys

Tell him to suck it up and put his big boy undies on. He wants something done, then I guess he can do it himself. Besides you are not his MAID!! Hang in there girl. Hope you get some help and start feeling better soon!

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I think his remark means he is feeling guilty about your doing all the work and he turns it on you to make himself feel better. It’s not a crack at you, even though it feels very personal. He probably feels helpless when you feel bad too and is mad at himself for being so useless.

Tell him exactly what would help you when you feel sick: draw you a bath? Rub your feet? Bring you toast and yoghurt and tea? Flowers? Let you sleep/rest? Let him be your hero, but know he needs to be told EXACTLY what would help. Guys can be so clueless and it paralyzes them to see you suffering while feeling unable to solve your problems.

Write down all the chores that need to be done and sit down with him to divide up the list. Also think about who will do what when the baby gets here, as there will be all those extra baby related things. He really should do more since he works fewer hours (or does he have longer days?), but right now let’s settle for half, and be understanding when he only does a fourth. Then he’s responsible too. Do NOT pick up his slack, but don’t. complain initially about what he’s not doing and praise him for doing anything he does accomplish. You can also set tasks you do together, like one wash dishes as the other dries, or you tackle cleaning the bathroom together. This is good if he’s never done something and you need to show him how.

Protect his ego by saying this is what you’ve discovered that works best for (chore) if he wants to do it this way. If he does things differently from you, live with it if it doesn’t make a big difference (like how he loads the dishwasher). Again, don’t criticize, just say, “hey, I noticed (food still stuck on after washing dishes, white clothes are all pink, whatever) and present the way you do it as a “hack”. Have it come across like clueing him in on a secret vs. criticism.

If he does step up to the plate, brag about his help in front of others. Kind of sad we have to baby men this way but it’s good practice for getting your future children to help around the house too.

Good luck! :four_leaf_clover:

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You might as well consider yourself a single mom

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You both live there. Cleaning and chores need shared.

Tell him that if there is something he feels needs to be done to the house he is more than free to do what he thinks needs done.

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You don’t want that attitude from him after the baby gets there. I promise you’ll have 10x the mess

He either helps or he needs to get out. Once that baby comes it’ll be more exhausting. He can put on his big boy pants and be a man. Help out. Get a second job.

Wow a swift punch to the head should do it mate … no words needed

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Tell him if he wants if done, he better get up and do it :joy: you’re pregnant and working two jobs on top of recovering from covid. He’s inconsiderate.

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What does he think you are? His maid? You need to set out the rules… Equal efforts from both of you, not just you… the woman. We arent living in the the days where women stay at home and slave in the house… We’re in 2021.

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I’m sorry, you’re pregnant, dealing with morning sickness, work 7 days a week, he can f*ck right off

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Tell him to go f#ck himself!

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Covid tired is horrible. Pregnant tired is another level. I cannot imagine having them both. Take your Time momma, and tell him to kiss your butt

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Ummmm if you’re asking this u already know the answer. If u needed reassurance than yeah he’s an ass. You’re pregnant. You’re literally making another life, and u had COVID? How are you even working two jobs? I applaud you. You’re doing great!! He on the other hand needs to take his blinders off and step up. If he can’t do that now likely he won’t later. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. Definitely call him out tho. Send him some links of articles to read about pregnancy fatigue and recommendations. Or about COVID recovery.

Most of these ladies have given the best advice…but I have to think I would be the level of petty where all his dishes all his clothes all his messes would be left for him…I’d clean up my own but then ask him why he isn’t cleaning up his own shit?? Guys are unappreciative assholes…

He has arms, I presume? Why don’t you ask him wtf he’s done lately?

Set the chores expectation NOW!

Or you’ll be working 2 jobs, with a baby, and more responsibilities.

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Do less… Kick your feet up and make that baby in the oven and if he makes more comments
Just answer “sorry you just don’t understand how tiring and draining it is to grow a human”
Petty comments require petty results

DO NOT FEEL BAD.

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Oh my god can you imagine a lifetime of that

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Well now u know what expect after baby comes.

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If he wants it done tell him to get off his ass and do it

Nooooooope.

If he is saying that 15 weeks in. HE won’t make it the whole 40 weeks and I gaurentee when that little one is up every two hour he sure as shite ain’t gona cut it then.

Cut your losses EARLY. easier to do this by yourself from the start.

This will be the legit hardest (and best) thing you ever do. If he can’t at the very least be understand let alone step up your better off doing it alone and never relying on him.

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Tell him you work 2 jobs 7 days a week, do all the dishes and laundry, and you are growing a human while he works 5 days a week and does what around the house? You do the dishes and laundry, he can very well vacuum and clean the bathroom/s. If he does nothing to help now around the house, it probably won’t get better when the baby is here. Sort it out now. Tell him contribute or get out!

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I used to tell my husband I’ll get to it but if he wants it done sooner, to do it himself. :joy:

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Tell him to clean up after himself your not his mother bloody cheek

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I would say you are capable and you can do the things that need to get done. Right now you have to step up, I’d hate to think what will happen when the baby comes if you can’t take care of the house right now. That’s what I would tell him.

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You need to have a talk with him.

Pregnancy alone takes a huge toll on our bodies, combine that with working full time, It isn’t easy.

Your body is going through all of these physical, hormonal and mental changes, that are only going to intensify further into your pregnancy.

Tell him that you would appreciate his help rather than making you feel inadequate by telling you things like that. Remind him that he has two hands and two legs, and that he should be able to support you through this.

You will need his help even more once the baby comes, and he needs to do what you aren’t able to around the house in order for your relationship to work. If he doesn’t change, I suggest getting your own place because he won’t make a difference by being there and you’ll be left to do everything alone anyways.

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Say yeah why haven’t you cleaned the house?

Seriously I can tell you right now he’s not going to be supportive. He’s going to help with the house, baby or anything. Yet hell expect to make decisions while the burden is on you. You’re best off dumping him now. You’re working 2 jobs. You can get your own place for you & baby. Right now you’ll be good in a studio or 1 bedroom. Save your stimulus, child tax credit you’ll get in July or when baby is born & refund. Upgrade in a year or 2. It’s much easier doing everything without the pressures he’s putting on you.

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:triangular_flag_on_post: not good. Things will get more difficult after the baby comes. If he is not being supportive and helpful when you are pregnant I would be concerned about after baby comes. If he does not change his tune cut your losses and move on. You don’t deserve that.

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Send him back to his mother and say there was a mistake he’s still a child he never grew up

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First and foremost you need to take care of yourself and your baby. Working seven days a week is a lot of stress on the both of you already, not to mention the stress of your boyfriend. Sounds like he is very selfish and immature. If you want to make it work with him, you need to lay down some ground rules and don’t fold. Tell him it’s time to grow up and start helping because the both of you are going to be parents. And guess what? The house is going to get even dirtier once the baby comes. I have a toddler and I can never keep up, lol. Having a clean house shouldn’t be a priority anyway. I mean don’t live in filth or anything like that, but your house doesn’t need to be spotless either. Take care of you and your baby. Don’t be stressed. I’m sorry you’ve been sick. I pray that you feel better and that your pregnancy goes smoothly. You should be enjoying this time, not being stressed out. Take care and God Bless!

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I would challenge him to do a better job! Sounds like you have a full plate without Covid & pregnancy. Sounds to me like you are doing a great job🙂

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You tell him to get off his ass and pull his weight or leave.

Stop doing laundry and dishes too.

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:fu:<——— that’s how you answer him!

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What has he done around the house? It’s not just the woman job to clean. He is a grown man and your not his mommy, you are pregnant with his kid.

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Why are y’alls answers so defensive or passive aggressive?! Just communicate. He can’t read your mind and you can’t read his.

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Ask him if his hands and legs are broken?

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I’m not the only one lives here

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Bahahaha what’s to answer give him the death stare and walk away, loading water guns for battle royal !!!

  1. covid is one thing
  2. Working two jobs 7days another
  3. Being pregnant in first trimester, that’s like hell
    Talk about being unappreciated smh :woman_facepalming:t2:, I ain’t gonna tell you what to do, other then you better stop his mouth before it continues, filling water balloons up, I don’t see any laundry but mine in the wash hamper, perhaps his forgot to get washed. Jobs done let me know when its target practice time I’m locked and loaded.
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Hey what color food dye you favour I’m adding it …perhaps we can make him sparkle and shine bright like a diamond.

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Why isn’t he doing anything? Tell him to stop believing traditional norms and that he needs to do his fair share around the house. If he was sick, you’d take care of everything. You were sick and are carrying his child, he needs to do what you can’t.

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If he thinks that he’s too tired to clean after working 5 days a week, imagine how exhausted you must be working 7, while growing a human inside you 24 hours a day, and fighting illness? He needs to step up and do his share of the housework, or learn to embrace the mess.

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If he wants it done he can do it himself. I’m sorry but this already sounds like you should run. You’re pregnant, working two jobs, seven days a week. You’re keeping laundry and dishes done. And he has the audacity to expect more of you while he sits on his ass two days a week.

Start only doing stuff that is yours. You clean up ONLY your mess, your clothes, etc. if he starts complaining say you did your part of your mess the rest is his.

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Show him this thread and let him read all the comments.

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If he says that now, how are you going to be when you have been up all night with a baby and dont have the energy to do anything because you havent had a decent nights rest in weeks? Best ask him now if he plans on helping during the nights with the baby or step up and help around the house or if hes gonna stfu and be happy regardless of what gets done or doesnt.

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If he is like this now. Imagine when the baby comes

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Dealing with pregnancy and covid at the the same time, you shouldn’t have to explain anything but since he obviously doesn’t get just tell him it’s been horrible for you and he will have to be prepared to help more from now on.

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Tell the lazy effing c#nt to get of his entitled backside and get it done

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Throat punch him :woman_shrugging:

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Show him this post. Be sure he is able to process the info, and that you wrote it! He is a total blockhead, and needs to grow up.

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Tell him to pull his head in. You both live there and will both clean and tend to what needs to be done. Relationships are teamwork and so is keeping the house in order… If he isn’t gonna step up now while your pregnant and sick. You may as well leave and do it on your own before the baby comes. Because clearly he isn’t mature enough to be a father and help out

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Stop doing anything. I wouldn’t do a damn thing for his ass.

Remind him that he lives there 2 and you don’t have slave tattooed on your forehead

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By telling him to man the f up and pick up the slack and stop being ungrateful because you’re busy GROWING ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE. Boy is he in for a surprise when the ACTUAL baby arrives and all your time is devoted to caring for it.

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well yes imo I say reply back…
your working two jobs…
it’s good hes working… but seriously how can he say that to you while you have covid. people have died from it. i’m glad your up and walking around.

He needs to be more understanding and step up to take care of you. if you xant have a nice talk with him about that then maybe you’ll be better off. js… most of the guys like that wont change

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Hubby was like that til I freaked out and had a panic attack about all the stuff he expected me to do while being 19 weeks pregnant, taking care of our toddler and working 6 days a week and how I just couldn’t keep up with it. Now he helps. He said he didn’t realize how much he was putting on me. He also said he forgot that part of my love language is acts of service and didn’t realize how much it hurt that instead of helping me he was just adding more to the list of things I needed to do. So my advice is to have a talk with him about how you’re feeling and just be open and honest. If he’s a good one he’ll straighten up his act.

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What a dickhead. Can’t imagine what hes guna say once babys born and nothing gets done

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My answer would be all his shit thrown onto the lawn and the locks changed. Sorry not sorry

Oh no. No no no no. He aint a real man if he expects you to do everything AND work AND be pregnant. Fuck that. He needs to grow a pair, be a real man, and get shit done!

If he is not happy with what you do, do nothing anymore. Just take care about yourself. He can hire maid. You are not his cleaner and personal assistant or cook. He has no more right to expect shit done for him, than anyone else. He is adult man. He is not living with his mother anymore. Stop being a slave in your own home.

He sounds extremely selfish and needs to be sat down to talk. Not only should he be helping you given how this pregnancy has started out rough, and the fact that you work 7 days a week, but what happens when the baby gets here? Are you supposed to work all this time, take care of the baby, AND be responsible for everything around the house? He needs to grow up and be a better partner!

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Oh no. If this is how he is now it will only get worse. Tell him exactly what help you need. If he loves and respects you he will step up. Otherwise run

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This is between you 2. You know him and you know no interact with him. Speak up!!

Oh boy…you’re gonna have fun with that one…

Ask him is his arms and legs are broken, then tell him to grow a pair, real men don’t need a maid🤷

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Leave that lil boy alone, let that be your answer! He’s sounds like a lazy sob and I’m betting money we’re gonna see a post sometime in about 25 weeks that he won’t get up to help with the baby if you don’t leave.

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Tell him straight. Like “I’m pregnant, carrying YOUR kid, I have TWO jobs, and can barley walk. If you want a clean house, either you clean it or pay a maid to.”

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Wtf??!! Mfer you work more hours, been sick and pregnant!
Be real clear and set some real Boundaries and deal breakers!
In the very beginning I told my husband what I expected.
A partner, a team mate, I’m not a maid for full grown adult ,
I don’t even pick up after my own children once they are old enough themselves.
I damn sure won’t you do it after a full grown man!!
I ain’t ya Mama, your not my child.
Grow up and become the partner I need or I will do it alone. Be Very clear but do not say anything you are not willing to follow through with.

Your growing a person AND working tell his ass to clean!!!

Tell him to get up off his ass and help you!

My ex husband was like that and it didn’t change even after I had our kids. I would definitely bring it up to him, sometimes it does take a “freak out” moment for men to see we mean something. Unfortunately it didn’t take until I left my ex husband to see all the help and involvement I needed from him.

This phrase has help thwart many a marital spat between me and my husband
“You’re more than welcome to________”

Then you fill in the blank with
Fold laundry
Do dishes
Sweep
Mop
Scrub toilets
Vacuum
And anything else.

But also, being blunt and saying, “idk what to expect- I’ve never been pregnant before. But I can tell you that I need a little more effort from you because I am tired. Etc”

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I probably wouldn’t be nice. But I’d be saying something like… well seeing as you’re home and not sick or pregnant working 7 days a week, get up and help.

You need to know your worth and leave that environment real quick. You work two jobs, been through all this and he still expects more? Nope, get out.

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My answer to all of that when your b/f is insensitive to your struggle. Respond to his comments, not react. Say, “If all of this bothers you do something about it” or we can talk and decide to split up the work between us.

I personally would keep on with the silent treatment. Lmao. Then when he mentions it say you need to save your energy of speaking to him to clean up after both of you when you work more than he does :eyes:

I’d have told him to start making a tiny human himself and then come at me.

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I would have started violently cleaning and slamming stuff around. :grin:
Made a real show out of it.

Tell him to F off. Clean it himself or hire a maid

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Only clean up after yourself

Here’s the broom honey ! Have at it!!