So I’m 15 weeks pregnant and have had a rough pregnancy so far- I had covid and the morning sickness has been terrible, so I was admitted into the hospital with dehydration. I obviously haven’t done much deep cleaning around the house, but laundry and dishes have stayed done (it’s just me and me and him, so there’s not a huge mess, to begin with). My boyfriend decides to make a comment about how I haven’t done anything in the house. I also have two jobs and work seven days a week; he works 5. He has “felt bad” that I’ve been so sick but doesn’t get how tiring and draining it has been so far. I haven’t talked to him since he made that comment; how should I go about “answering” to that comment?
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Girl I work part time and I’m 22 weeks pregnant and I wish my husband would say some dumb shit like that. Personally tho cause we are adults, I would sit and have a convo. You explain that hurt your feelings rather he meant to or not your feelings are hurt and talk with him about the next steps. Give him perspective on why your so sick my husband didn’t get it but now he is like look my wife isn’t having an easy pregnancy she is sick all the damn time. U know sit with him. Don’t let the small stuff fester. Talk with him. You will feel better. Tell him this is the hardest magic trick your doing in life and even you didn’t think it would be this painful or uncomfortable everyday being pregnant it’s not what the movies make it look like. Men are clueless. Most issues will stimulate from improper communication. If no one told you today your doing the worlds greatest magic trick that not just anyone can do.
I’m exhausted just reading this …
Sending my 
for a full healing !!!
Response “ feel free to help anytime!!!” !!!
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He needs to help you with cleaning your one person you can only do so much. Especially when you don’t feel good.
Ask him what HE has done in the house 
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Tell him to help
More why should it be the women’s job he thinks it’s bad now wait till baby comes he will have a serious shock ! Tell him he needs to help instead of moaning ! X
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He need to shut his our hole I am a stay-at-home mum n am 17 weeks preggo n haven’t had covid but 8467differrnt complications n can barley move we r both wise asses n he has been great not cleaning cleaning but dishes n dog n help with whatever he knows it’s a short period of time n I will be back as soon as this human is outta me send him ova to me I’ll knock his derby loose for ya hun u take care of u n tht baby u can always deep clean when u nest n afta baby when yr not sleeping anyway xo
Get councelors…learning how to relationship is hard
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Stop doing anything at all.
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Tell him “you think it’s bad now? Just wait until the baby comes” lol
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Tell him he only works 5 days a week so he has no excuse to not help. You are working 7 days a week, two jobs and on top of all that you’re growing a human that he helped create, and the cherry on top? It’s a pandemic and you have been extremely sick! He wants the house deep cleaned? Do it himself
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If he moans about the house tell him u getting a helper and make him pay for it or he needs to help u
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Kick him in the dick
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Hold up…you’re pregnant, had covid, work 2 jobs 7 days a week and he has the nerve to say something!? Tell him to clean himself, wtf is wrong with some of these so called men. Smdh.
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You work 7 days, he only works 5. You’re pregnant with health constraints and doing things in the house. What does he do when he is off from work?
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I’d tell him pretty much what you put in the post. Tell him you feel disrespected. That’s not cool.
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Take care of yourself and your on born baby . Let everything else go
Get a cleaning lady once a week , enjoy,
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My boyfriend also did something similar, so I stopped doing his things. His laundry, dishes, etc were all not done for like a week and a half before he noticed. He asked why I stopped and I told him why and he very quickly realized I wasn’t kidding so he started helping me do things.
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He can do stuff around the house as well. It’s not like you’re a stay at home partner, you both work and pay for bills, Plus you’re pregnant and not feeling well!! I hope you would consider quitting the one job down the road, don’t want you to over do it.
Throw the boy out.
Yes, the whole boy.
He can do stuff around the house too. Ain’t nobody break his legs. Shouldn’t all just fall on you. He lives there with you and eats and wears clothes and uses the utilities and breathes the air.
He can buck up buttercup.
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If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything! It takes two to tango… In bed in the house raising a baby chores loll
Girl tell him he needs to help you. Point blank. If he isn’t considerate now, he won’t change much smh he should be there helping and contributing to his home as well… Tf wrong w people. Get up and clean it if it’s dirty. He’s grown.
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Tell him your not feeling well. And the house is everyone’s responsibility. If he sees it he can clean it just as well as you can. So there really is no need to complain
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I’d tell him to fuck off. 
take care of yourself and your baby. Eventually a few weeks before your due, you’ll deep clean the shit out of everything. 
#nesting
All joking aside, He can clean.
Fuck gender roles … you work 7 …he works 5 …so ask him why he didn’t do anything!!!
These 
mommas:clap: betta teach:clap: there:clap: sons
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Does a broom not fit his hand? He can clean just as much as you can.
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Communication. Communication is always the answer.
Sit him down and be honest. He’s not a mind reader and you are two totally different people so he may think it’s a joke and have no clue he hurt you.
A relationship can’t thrive if you’re not completely transparent and honest with each other.
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You calmly laugh in his face. You know, that crazy laugh. Then tell him the next time he dont get up off his butt and do what needs to be done instead of making a comment to the woman who is growing his child then he should start watching what he eats
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He’s a grown man. He can do dishes and clean as well.
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He’s broken. So here’s the thing. If he can’t help around the house then the mess is just gonna stay there. Even if you were a SAHM. You are pregnant and have been sick. If that alone isn’t enough to get him to understand he needs to help. Just 
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Tell him to get used to it haha,
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There no reason he can’t clean he lives there he makes it a mess too. I’m stay at home mom I’ve injured my knee but even before that my bf deep cleans every Sunday and catches up laundry.
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Tell him if its not up to his standards then feel free to do it his self.
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Whoa. You need to sit down and have a serious conversation with him. Pregnancy is hard especially while working but having a newborn baby is even harder. You need to express to him that life is different now that you both created a child and he needs to step up and do his share or more of the housework since you are already clearly doing a lot (growing a baby and also working). If he doesn’t get that you may want to consider breaking off the relationship now. Because there’s nothing worse than having a newborn and a man child.
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He needs to get busy. I’d question parenting a child with him
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Girl, if you allow that shit now, it’s gonna all be on you when that baby comes too. He needs to chip in and do his share. It’s time to grow up, and step up to the responsibility. It shouldn’t all be on you. This is the 21st century. Start now so when that baby shows up, he’s already a team member working with you, rather than a team cheerleader, judging you on the sidelines blaming you for everything that’s not done.
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Solution is, you literally hire someone to come in and clean one day a week. You don’t give him a choice in paying for it. Tell him if this is how he’s going to be and he won’t help then he can pay someone to clean instead.
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Put him in this group so we all can straighten him out for ya! Lol jkjk but seriously u need to TALK! Explain how u feel! He obviously doesnt know, if hes young and hasn’t had a child either it’s all new for him,but it’s no excuse! U have to voice how u are feeling and what your going through so he knows
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How was he after you hit him over the head with the frying pan?
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Make a chore chart
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What is wrong with men these days? Looking for another mommy instead of a wife acting like that… unfortunately it’s probably only going to get worse 
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Tell him he needs to buck up and help you and that YOU and YOUR TIME is JUST AS IMPORTANT as HIS. You signed up to be his partner not his parent. Explain that the MINIMUM that he should be doing is the same help you would expect from a ROOMMATE. period.
Tell him he lives there too an he can clean an get off his ass his two days off an be a adult an do some house chores
Stop doing it all stop cleaning the house doing his laundry anything for him only do your laundry cook your food clean your mess up he’ll get the hint and when he says something tell.his lazy ass yoir pregnant work 2 jobs 7 days a week you are that baby’s mother not his its nit your responsibility to pick up after him
I’m making a human wtf are u doing lbvs!!!
Oh lord, please sit down and have a major heart to heart with him about all of this. Pregnancy makes you tired in general and you go through spurts where you will be drained and you will have spurts where you clean like a mad woman and nest. When the baby comes all of this magnifies… more work and harder to get it done, less energy than you had during pregnancy, long nights. All of this will take a toll on you and your relationship, especially if this is how he is acting. Make a chart if it helps him see what gets done and what you need help with. Just address it now before the baby comes or you will be in a world of misery honey!
Omg has he laid a finger on the house? Your not the maid. You’re supposed to be partners and since you’re not only pregnant you’ve been medically sick too. Of he can’t help around the house now just think when the child is born. Is he going to think that thats your responsibility too and not his? That having his own child is baby sitting? Gotta sick down and tell him how you feel because obviously his comment was a jab and that can lead to so much more.
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He should be helping around the house if you’re both working regardless, but especially since you’ve been sick. Hooowwww can he know you’ve recently been admitted to the hospital, while pregnant, and have the AUDACITY to comment about how clean the house is. I’ll never understand how a man can expect a woman to do everything for them plus work. Go off on him, he deserves it.
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Ya that sux that ur having a child with this person whats he gonna do when the baby comes and there will be more of a mess and u will be even more tired instead of him picking up the slack like a decent man would do I would Definitely set him str8 that redicoulus
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He needs to do his part in cleaning …and it is hard since you being pregnant you will not going to be able to do alot around the house.he needs to undestand that…if he doesnt then no.point to be with him…sorry
I’d throw the whole boyfriend out lol trust me that thought process is only going to get worse after baby gets here. Then it will be you doing everything plus taking care of a baby
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Definitely have a heart to heart. You are not his maid or his mama. He needs to help out. If he can’t then tell him to hire a cleaning person. He refuses? Walk because it won’t change.
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Girl, if he’s not helping out he won’t change. I’d have an open and honest conversation with him. If he doesn’t change and help out. Why keep him around when your doing everything on your own already.
Tell him if he’s that bothered to do it himself . He will soon shut up
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He has 2 hands and is able. If he wants things done and has enough energy to bitch he can pick up a cleaning utensil. 
If his first thought is to put you down instead of stepping up to help you while you are sick and PREGNANT, good luck getting him to step up after the baby.
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Ask him why he hasn’t done cleaning we are in 2021 it’s not just a womans job especially when you are pregnant and working 2 jobs 7 days a week what does he do in his 2 days off a week why can’t he pick up a vac also your his partner not his mother if he wanted someone to wipe his ass and clean up after him he should of stayed at mummys
Tell him to suck it up and put his big boy undies on. He wants something done, then I guess he can do it himself. Besides you are not his MAID!! Hang in there girl. Hope you get some help and start feeling better soon!
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I think his remark means he is feeling guilty about your doing all the work and he turns it on you to make himself feel better. It’s not a crack at you, even though it feels very personal. He probably feels helpless when you feel bad too and is mad at himself for being so useless.
Tell him exactly what would help you when you feel sick: draw you a bath? Rub your feet? Bring you toast and yoghurt and tea? Flowers? Let you sleep/rest? Let him be your hero, but know he needs to be told EXACTLY what would help. Guys can be so clueless and it paralyzes them to see you suffering while feeling unable to solve your problems.
Write down all the chores that need to be done and sit down with him to divide up the list. Also think about who will do what when the baby gets here, as there will be all those extra baby related things. He really should do more since he works fewer hours (or does he have longer days?), but right now let’s settle for half, and be understanding when he only does a fourth. Then he’s responsible too. Do NOT pick up his slack, but don’t. complain initially about what he’s not doing and praise him for doing anything he does accomplish. You can also set tasks you do together, like one wash dishes as the other dries, or you tackle cleaning the bathroom together. This is good if he’s never done something and you need to show him how.
Protect his ego by saying this is what you’ve discovered that works best for (chore) if he wants to do it this way. If he does things differently from you, live with it if it doesn’t make a big difference (like how he loads the dishwasher). Again, don’t criticize, just say, “hey, I noticed (food still stuck on after washing dishes, white clothes are all pink, whatever) and present the way you do it as a “hack”. Have it come across like clueing him in on a secret vs. criticism.
If he does step up to the plate, brag about his help in front of others. Kind of sad we have to baby men this way but it’s good practice for getting your future children to help around the house too.
Good luck! 
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You might as well consider yourself a single mom
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You both live there. Cleaning and chores need shared.
Tell him that if there is something he feels needs to be done to the house he is more than free to do what he thinks needs done.
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You don’t want that attitude from him after the baby gets there. I promise you’ll have 10x the mess
He either helps or he needs to get out. Once that baby comes it’ll be more exhausting. He can put on his big boy pants and be a man. Help out. Get a second job.
Wow a swift punch to the head should do it mate … no words needed
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Tell him if he wants if done, he better get up and do it you’re pregnant and working two jobs on top of recovering from covid. He’s inconsiderate.
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What does he think you are? His maid? You need to set out the rules… Equal efforts from both of you, not just you… the woman. We arent living in the the days where women stay at home and slave in the house… We’re in 2021.
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I’m sorry, you’re pregnant, dealing with morning sickness, work 7 days a week, he can f*ck right off
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Tell him to go f#ck himself!
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Covid tired is horrible. Pregnant tired is another level. I cannot imagine having them both. Take your Time momma, and tell him to kiss your butt
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Ummmm if you’re asking this u already know the answer. If u needed reassurance than yeah he’s an ass. You’re pregnant. You’re literally making another life, and u had COVID? How are you even working two jobs? I applaud you. You’re doing great!! He on the other hand needs to take his blinders off and step up. If he can’t do that now likely he won’t later. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. Definitely call him out tho. Send him some links of articles to read about pregnancy fatigue and recommendations. Or about COVID recovery.
Most of these ladies have given the best advice…but I have to think I would be the level of petty where all his dishes all his clothes all his messes would be left for him…I’d clean up my own but then ask him why he isn’t cleaning up his own shit?? Guys are unappreciative assholes…
He has arms, I presume? Why don’t you ask him wtf he’s done lately?
Set the chores expectation NOW!
Or you’ll be working 2 jobs, with a baby, and more responsibilities.
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Do less… Kick your feet up and make that baby in the oven and if he makes more comments
Just answer “sorry you just don’t understand how tiring and draining it is to grow a human”
Petty comments require petty results
DO NOT FEEL BAD.
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Oh my god can you imagine a lifetime of that
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Well now u know what expect after baby comes.
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If he wants it done tell him to get off his ass and do it
Nooooooope.
If he is saying that 15 weeks in. HE won’t make it the whole 40 weeks and I gaurentee when that little one is up every two hour he sure as shite ain’t gona cut it then.
Cut your losses EARLY. easier to do this by yourself from the start.
This will be the legit hardest (and best) thing you ever do. If he can’t at the very least be understand let alone step up your better off doing it alone and never relying on him.
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Tell him you work 2 jobs 7 days a week, do all the dishes and laundry, and you are growing a human while he works 5 days a week and does what around the house? You do the dishes and laundry, he can very well vacuum and clean the bathroom/s. If he does nothing to help now around the house, it probably won’t get better when the baby is here. Sort it out now. Tell him contribute or get out!
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I used to tell my husband I’ll get to it but if he wants it done sooner, to do it himself.
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Tell him to clean up after himself your not his mother bloody cheek
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I would say you are capable and you can do the things that need to get done. Right now you have to step up, I’d hate to think what will happen when the baby comes if you can’t take care of the house right now. That’s what I would tell him.
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You need to have a talk with him.
Pregnancy alone takes a huge toll on our bodies, combine that with working full time, It isn’t easy.
Your body is going through all of these physical, hormonal and mental changes, that are only going to intensify further into your pregnancy.
Tell him that you would appreciate his help rather than making you feel inadequate by telling you things like that. Remind him that he has two hands and two legs, and that he should be able to support you through this.
You will need his help even more once the baby comes, and he needs to do what you aren’t able to around the house in order for your relationship to work. If he doesn’t change, I suggest getting your own place because he won’t make a difference by being there and you’ll be left to do everything alone anyways.
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Say yeah why haven’t you cleaned the house?
Seriously I can tell you right now he’s not going to be supportive. He’s going to help with the house, baby or anything. Yet hell expect to make decisions while the burden is on you. You’re best off dumping him now. You’re working 2 jobs. You can get your own place for you & baby. Right now you’ll be good in a studio or 1 bedroom. Save your stimulus, child tax credit you’ll get in July or when baby is born & refund. Upgrade in a year or 2. It’s much easier doing everything without the pressures he’s putting on you.
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not good. Things will get more difficult after the baby comes. If he is not being supportive and helpful when you are pregnant I would be concerned about after baby comes. If he does not change his tune cut your losses and move on. You don’t deserve that.
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Send him back to his mother and say there was a mistake he’s still a child he never grew up
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First and foremost you need to take care of yourself and your baby. Working seven days a week is a lot of stress on the both of you already, not to mention the stress of your boyfriend. Sounds like he is very selfish and immature. If you want to make it work with him, you need to lay down some ground rules and don’t fold. Tell him it’s time to grow up and start helping because the both of you are going to be parents. And guess what? The house is going to get even dirtier once the baby comes. I have a toddler and I can never keep up, lol. Having a clean house shouldn’t be a priority anyway. I mean don’t live in filth or anything like that, but your house doesn’t need to be spotless either. Take care of you and your baby. Don’t be stressed. I’m sorry you’ve been sick. I pray that you feel better and that your pregnancy goes smoothly. You should be enjoying this time, not being stressed out. Take care and God Bless!
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I would challenge him to do a better job! Sounds like you have a full plate without Covid & pregnancy. Sounds to me like you are doing a great job🙂
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You tell him to get off his ass and pull his weight or leave.
Stop doing laundry and dishes too.
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<——— that’s how you answer him!
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What has he done around the house? It’s not just the woman job to clean. He is a grown man and your not his mommy, you are pregnant with his kid.
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Why are y’alls answers so defensive or passive aggressive?! Just communicate. He can’t read your mind and you can’t read his.
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Ask him if his hands and legs are broken?
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I’m not the only one lives here
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Bahahaha what’s to answer give him the death stare and walk away, loading water guns for battle royal !!!
- covid is one thing
- Working two jobs 7days another
- Being pregnant in first trimester, that’s like hell
Talk about being unappreciated smh
, I ain’t gonna tell you what to do, other then you better stop his mouth before it continues, filling water balloons up, I don’t see any laundry but mine in the wash hamper, perhaps his forgot to get washed. Jobs done let me know when its target practice time I’m locked and loaded.
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Hey what color food dye you favour I’m adding it …perhaps we can make him sparkle and shine bright like a diamond.
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Why isn’t he doing anything? Tell him to stop believing traditional norms and that he needs to do his fair share around the house. If he was sick, you’d take care of everything. You were sick and are carrying his child, he needs to do what you can’t.
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If he thinks that he’s too tired to clean after working 5 days a week, imagine how exhausted you must be working 7, while growing a human inside you 24 hours a day, and fighting illness? He needs to step up and do his share of the housework, or learn to embrace the mess.
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If he wants it done he can do it himself. I’m sorry but this already sounds like you should run. You’re pregnant, working two jobs, seven days a week. You’re keeping laundry and dishes done. And he has the audacity to expect more of you while he sits on his ass two days a week.