My husband has recently cut back on work. I’m on disability & have been substitute teaching for extra money. I do all of the dishes. He rarely does them. Since my husband has been home more than he has been doing them some to help out. It has been so nice. I have been thanking him & telling him how much I appreciate him doing the dishes. Everytime I thank him he will say something like you don’t give me a break from the yard work, installing internet (what he does for a living), etc. It’s really hurtful & annoying. He said it yesterday when I thanked him & I told him I’m not thanking him anymore. Am I overthinking this? It’s just aggravating.
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When was the last time he thanked you for some chores?
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Do you get a thank you for cooking and cleaning and doing everything you do around the house?
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My man is a group leader now at his factory he works At. Which is very stressful on him. And he does step in when people aren’t there but he used to run around all day working so hard (not saying he don’t now that he is a group leader) but he still came home and helped with the kids and laundry dishes cleaning up all that and still does. Im a stay at home mom but i do alot of runninng around for our kids and im 6 months pregnant
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Does he thank you for things you do
My guess is no
If both live in the home then surly both do housework
So stop thanking him
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Honestly, maybe he does just need a little break. I mean, we complain about no breaks all the time.
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You should be great full that’s he’s helping at all stop complaining
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why are you thanking your husband for being responsible in his own home? he’s a grown man and working or not he can do them more with no ty … like you should just appreciate his presence and the tiny thing he does around the home since he’s there a little more 
you both work and so both should do around the home EVEN BEFORE his hrs declined.
your husband sounds entitled and 1sided and I can only imagine that theirs a lot of other things that route around that.
tell him your a wife, not a new mother and just leave him to do chores with no ty. if he begins to wonder why your appreciation is gone- remind him of this.
but even still, he should’ve picked up in the home more before this
Next time he mentions installing internet, remind him that HE chose to do that for a living.
Next time he throws up mowing the yard, remind him that he does that once a week/every other week compared to dishes and cooking that is a daily requirement - sometimes several times a day.
Offer to trade chores with him - his weekly chore for your daily chore. See how he likes that.
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I think you both should be helping each other. Do you ever give him a break from the lawn? I personally would stop thanking him, it doesn’t seem to help.
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If he feels like he needs a break than he should communicate that to u. In a healthy way. Id rather my husband just not do the dishes if it always comes with a guilt trip. If he asks u to mow the lawn, would u? If u start doing one or two of his things than he has no reason to complain any more. But what hes doing isnt healthy for the relationship. U are trying to make him feel appreciated and in return he tries to make u feel guilty. My husband knows if theres a issue, all he has to do is talk to me. And if i have a issue i know i can talk to him. Since i met my husband one thing i learned is sooo many arguments can be avoided by how u approach the other with problems u have or feelings u have. Like for instance Instagram of someone sayjng “u dont appreciate me” which will make the other go into defense mode, a better way to say it is “i know u don’t mean to make me feel this way, but when i feel like im not appreciated when i do XYZ” and than they could respond with “what can i do to help change that?” It’s all about how u approach the situation and the way ur husband is expressing how he feels is one of the ways a argument and hurt feelings happen. I mean if u both sit and talk, theres GOTTA be a middle ground that will make u both feel better about
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As a wife and a mom, I rarely take a “break.” However I also lack the ability to communicate that need and follow through with that action. I can see how thanking her appears to be unhelpful in his eyes. I struggle with offering a day off or a rest day because of how i personally look at it but maybe he needs a day off.
Maybe instead of thanking him… “hey- I appreciate you help out around here. How about you go do something fun or nice for yourself.”
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You guys needs to communicate better…in a way that is helpful to both of you……it’s a team effort…you cook, he does dishes, you do laundry, he mows the grass….appreciate what each other does as part of a “team” and move on.
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The guy has had it easy and I guess never worked very hard. He doesn’t know know what hardwork is if all he does is install internet and do yard work. Some men roof all day then go home and help with the kids, cook ,etc.
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He’s making them comments because he’s looking for you to do for him what he’s doing for you. He wants you to do the yard work for once.
No. Still thank him. I know he doesn’t thank you !! ( LOL ) p.s. why does he need to be thanked… it’s his house and he eats too !! But, thank him anyway
Do your dishes and your clothes. Let him do his
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My husband works 12 hour shifts in a 100+ degree factory, on third shift and I’m a store manager at local loan place with a “cushy office job”-today is my day off I didn’t wake my kids up for school and woke up to dishes done and he vacuumed. I didn’t ask him to do any of it. He actually knew thats what I was planning on doing with my day. I also haven’t mowed a blade of grass in the 14 years we’ve been together. It’s just weird that he’s throwing doing dishes in your face. You both live there lol. Sometimes we DO need a break- but that would just be exhausting that a thank you turns into a guilt trip. You need to talk to him and figure out what’s going on in his head.
Why were you thanking him in the first place? Does he thank you for literally anything you do around the house? Being an adult is not a fkn favor! Also yard work is maybe twice a month.
Ask him when has he ever given you a break or said thank you.
If you are disabled , he should understand. And , I don’t know how on earth you are subbing if you are disabled . I tried to babysit to also earn extra money, and I just can’t do it . I am
Sick all the time . I am so sorry and wish he appreciated the fact you are trying to do some work . Many of us can’t do much of anything. Thinking of you
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Um he is just lazy. Sit down and make a list of everything that needs to be done daily, weekly and monthly and the time it takes to do those things. Then divide them between the two of you to ensure it’s proportional to what your work schedule hours are like.
That way each person is accountable for their own set of chores.
Sounds like he needs a break and men suck at asking for one. Maybe suggest hiring someone to do the yard one week or offer to help out. Communicating will help.
Hes a baby
What thanks do you get for helping him clean his home? Probably ni. He don’t need a thanks for caring for his own home he’s a grown man
Sometimes thanking people gives them the feeling they are doing something out of kindness like something they don’t need to do instead of just doing it because it needs to be done
Life skills (chores) are not gender roles…
He eats just like you. You are going to work. You are disabled so extra work is hard on you. Don’t tell him thank you any more.he sound like he doesn’t appreciate what you do
He’s holding some sort of resentment & you’re suppose to be the mind reader. Counseling may help. It’s a tough situation & one that needs to be addressed before it gets worse. Perhaps write all of what your feeling down first, get it all out, curse words, all caps, whatever you need to get out … then burn that. Make an appt with him to talk. If you don’t think that will work, write him a letter. I’m sorry, I hope you both can work through this.