How should I talk to my husband about this?

I have relationships with my siblings but not all the time. I give my hubby and kids quality time and I think her hubby should give her more of his time. If they work together all day and carpool to and from work that should be plenty of time spent with a brother. Praying he’ll be there for you and babe.

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You are going to have to be painfully blunt with the hubby. It is either me and our family that we have together or your brother . make it clear i respect that you loveyou family too as do i but , brother needs to step off and out of our busines and out of our home .if that cant happen i am taking our child and vacating and filing for a divorce . he needs to know you are not playing tiddly winks. Also it might behoove you to talk with the bro in law and tell him right in front of hubby howcyou are feeling.tell him tactfully but be truthful . family is a great thing but enough is enough

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Ok… U saw this coming… Didn’t u?
Accept the fact that he’s close with his brother, and embrace this instead of letting it eat u up.

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Tell him to take his ass back over there with his brother. Clearly you can’t compete and honestly why would you want to. Y’all have had this conversation before. Soooooo…get to steppin pimp!!!

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Okey okey all yall saying shes petty slow down an dont think of the fact its his brother regardless he choose to start his own family he needs to show them the same amount of attention as his brother. I think yall taking this wrong i would be upset as well. I would suggest talking to both hubby an brother in law an just explain you want some time for you as well or maybe he trying to get it out of his system before baby comes either way i dont believe your jealous girl. Just talk to them both without attitude you have to communicate this to both sides an not come off as i dont want yall hanging out but that you want some one on one time with ur hubs to

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Talk to the brother in front of your husband and let him know that you’ve spoken to your husband about how you feel on numerous occasions. And since it don’t seem like husband did much, make them BOTH aware of how strongly you feel about what’s going on. Sometimes us women have to stand our ground. Yes that will always be his brother but once he said “I do” you’re suppose to come before all of that. You should’ve spoken to the brother before marriage that way he wouldn’t feel as comfortable to do what he’s doing now. I hope it works out for you Suga! :100:

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I wish you well. It’s a real problem. Is there someone you can visit for a week or two with your kids???To see if he can tell that you are gone…He needs a volt. Is his brother married? Blessings.

Husband needs to grow up and get some b***s and tell him to leave and knock before entering.

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Lmao… did you tell him you wanted to be the sole proprietor of his attention?
Or did you want someone that you wanted, or thought you should change? Because they were wimpy enough for you?

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im an only child and my husband isnt real close with his siblings. plus they dont live near us so we only see them once in a while. but it sounds to me like youre living in the everybody loves raymond show!

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Spouses and children come way before siblings! It’s fine text or whatever with siblings but put the phone down and spend time with your number 1 before it ruins the relationships. Not only between spouses but spouse between siblings.

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Let it go…Blood is thicker than water.

give him an ultimation it is you or bro tell him you just want a married life and bro can visit 2 times aweek

Well when my husband at the time started hanging out and talking to his brother suddenly it was because his brother was setting him up with different women… one of many reasons we are divorced. My 1st marriage and hes on his 7th now.

Sounds like your brother in law needs a life if his own. Find him a woman to occupy his time.

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Sounds kinda petty :woman_shrugging:t4: that’s his BROTHER and their close deal with it I guess…I’m with my sister everyday :woman_facepalming:t4:

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This page is supposed to be “My husband is a blessing” and I just keep seeing posts about women complaining about there husbands…

Let them hang together looks like an instant babysitter to me!

I’m shocked by all of the comments who think the wife needs to have no issues with this. My sister and I are extremely close and if she needs me I’m there and Visa versa . Saying that we have our own life we understand that couples need time together just them and family’s need time the mom dad and kids. Yes the family that made you are so important and you need to be there for them but the family you make is your # 1 priority. Especially your children. Any mother who says they would choose there brother over there own child has issues. This man as an adult it’s not normal to hang out everyday like high schoolers . Yes get together have weekly dinners watch the game on a Sunday . The rest of the time needs to be working to provide then with your wife and child. If the only time shes alone with this man is in the bed that’s not normal. Her husband needs to grow the hell up !!!

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Sounds like you married a boy with a lot of issues that needs to step up to the plate he served himself. I used to be this way and it took my wife separating from me for me to realize that I needed to be a man and follow God’s word and put my wife first like she does for me. Leave your family and cleave to your wife. It is simple but also extremely hard if you have past traumas. I would urge patience here and if he does not step up when the baby is born then you should take the kids and separate from him legally and get child support until he is ready to step up and be a father and husband. If he doesn’t I would say to go through with divorce because neglecting you and your kids( yes your kids are his as well because he said I do) is emotional abuse.

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Why are YOU putting up with this? DEMAND he stop or threaten to LEAVE!!!

My brothers and I were super close. We grew up together and had it rough and always looked out for eachother which made us closer. That bond we thought could never get broken. Then they got with chicks like this and boom. One literally chopped all communication and his little girlfriend that he has 3 kids with even answers my phone calls. We went from talking almost every day to like once every 4 months. I ain’t even allowed to see my nieces and nephews due to this weird bitch. Then my other brother would get scratched and socked up for even trying to come visit me. Bitches be weird these days fr. Too fuckin controlling. If my husband wanted to go see his sisters or brother, I’d let him. They are all close anyway and I actually encourage him because growing up my brothers and I told eachother we’d always be there for one another but damn were we wrong!! Hurts but whatever. Anyway. Don’t be weird. Let him have that. What if one day he leaves this world or your man leaves this world then you’ll feel bad. And maybe he’s his brothers comfort idk. Atleast he ain’t out there playing around or cheating or fucking off and he’s got a job taking care of you AND YOUR KIDS! APPRECIATE THE GUY!

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:rofl::rofl::joy::rofl::joy::rofl::joy::joy::joy::joy: Ur afraid this behavior is going to continue when ur baby comes​:joy::rofl::joy::rofl: He’s been this way ur entire relationship and u still decided to keep taking ur relationship to the next level. :rofl::joy::rofl::rofl: He has no reason to change and I don’t see y he should. If u met him that way, y exactly should he change??? Love him for who he is, u picked him, u tied ur DNA to his for life. Now u have to deal with it. Should of chosen better or not made a baby with him​:rofl::joy::rofl::joy:

I couldn’t tolerate a cpl in laws when I was pregnant either, but ONLY when I was pregnant. Try to set the brother in law up with a girlfriend. Maybe if he had someone he wouldn’t be attached to your husband so much. I think it’s good that theyre close. Not so good that he’s taking up time with you and your family tho. Hubby needs to get priorities straight

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I’d get stern. Id tell you you’ve had enough, that he’s not respecting your boundaries and he needs to step it up as a husband and a father. Super odd situation… If be very annoyed as well

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Wow
Sorry to hear your going thru such a situation.
Seems like the brother needs to get the hint and step out of your way.
Very odd behavior as if hes jealous that his brother(husband) has a family of his own now.
You guys need to find him a girlfriend.

You’re in a really horrible situation and I really feel for you. I’m affraid the situation probably will never change and you will have to make a decision. I must be so frustrated and pregnant too! I’m sending you positive vibes and a hug from Scotland. Xx

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It sounds like you will never be a priority over his brother, doubtful it will change when the baby comes. You’re better off on your own if it continues because that baby will eventually see and feel the same things you’re feeling.

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Personally I’d tell hubbie that this change he keeps promising needs to be made before baby comes. If you dont see anything by then he’s probably not going to and is just saying it to get you off his back. After seeing them while dating I wouldnt have married but the past is the past and those kids need an active parent instead of a passive one. Best of luck that you guys get this figured out

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Clearly you’re not a priority. I’d tell his brother to get the fuck out of my house. :woman_shrugging:t2: and tell hubby he can go to if he can’t make his family a priority. When he married you, you became his family. Everyone else comes second. If he can’t live up to that responsibility he needs to go back to mommy and daddy’s house and spend his life with his brother. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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This is a husband problem. You should consider counseling, especially if you’re saying you have expressed all these things to your husband

If he prioritizes his brother over you, that’s where I would see a problem. However, if they’re just being close because they are friends I don’t see an issue. Especially if you allowed early in the relationship, and just now want it to change.

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Ask your husband who he is married to, then ask who is more important. If he says the brother, then your relationship is doomed and there is no reason to continue. If it’s you, then you need to tell him that he needs to start prioritizing yalls family over his brother. Hubs needs to stop the carpool, stop going over there every day, stop FaceTiming him every day. If you are important to him, then he needs to let his brother know that this will no longer be tolerated.
Hate to say it, but you need to give him an ultimatum.

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It’s weird to me personally. I don’t want to see ANYONE that much especially anyone in my family. :rofl: Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and I’d do anything for the ones I’m close to but my favorite people live in my home, my husband and my kids. And I need a small break from even them from time to time. If this is all true, I don’t think you’re being “toxic”…:roll_eyes: You take priority over his brother with some exceptions of course.

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I cant even read all this. Why is you want to change what’s been going on the whole relationship?? If this was an issue for you, should of been addressed from the very beginning and if nothing changed then leave. I’m sorry but you knew what their relationship was like from the jump so you should of accepted it or left

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I’ve never allowed my family to get and my husband in my business and if they did I would tell them to shut their mouth mind your business and I would say the same to my husband’s family my children and I will always be my husband main priority nobody comes before we do never has never will I’m very close to my brother but I sure the hell don’t want him popping at my house anytime you want and I don’t want him at my house all the time in my husband get really upset if my brother was here constantly we like when it’s just us my hubby myself and our two beautiful children I would tell my husband change or get out you should be your husband’s main priority

Girl i feel you!..This seems like the same issue i have with my hubby and his sister…who sits on the phone with their sister 17 hours a day (no exaggeration)every .fuckin.day…
and ignores everyone else in the house (especially our kids)…

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Honestly I’d stop trying. Do you. Don’t worry about him bc obviously nothing is going to change. If you’ve communicated It to him and still nothing then get yourself together and get your life together and tell him to go back and live with his parents and his brother bc you can handle this on your own.

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I’m sorry you didn’t SEE and GET before you married him and made a child w him…you will NEVER be his priority.
His brother is.

It’s great if siblings are close.
If grown kids are nice, helpful to older parents.

But in most good healthy relationships between a couple, the couple comes first.
The couple is the priority.

This isn’t going to change.

You are NOT Toxic.

This is Weird.

Might as well get out now.

Make your own life.
You and your children.
You might even meet a man who would love a ready made family.

Best wishes.

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Don’t ever get into a relationship thinking you can change someone. Take them as they are or walk away

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This isn’t the husbands problem. You knew him and his brother were very close and you married him anyway. Why so shocked now?

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Lol I think your hormones may be a bit out of whack.

Not to sound blunt but I think maybe you need to try be more understanding of your partner. It is his brother & before anyone says anything, my partner is very much this way too but I love his siblings the same way I love my own so jealousy is non existent where siblings are concerned.

I’d worry if he wasn’t supporting you against their abuse or any nasty comments that may have been made about you.

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Why does it bother you so much he’s close with his brother seems to me your the problem every girl my brother has been with has always had a problem with me and my brother being close and it’s because they are super toxic and I always tried to warn him about them and he never listened and I always end up being right in the end if you have a problem with family you are the problem

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That’s a little strange . Does the brother have a girlfriend or wife ?

Honestly do it right back to him. Sometimes guys don’t get it through their dumb brains until it’s happening to him. So ditch him more and pay no attention to him. Seem completely unbothered by him. I bet he will notice

You are asking your husband to break or alter the bond he has with his brother …in a sense he did by going to his parents home to see his brother so he wasn’t at your place. You can’t change him he is who is and if you can’t accept his relationship with his brother you have to work on that. Being pregnant and hormones running through you may make this more dramatic then necessary. Look ar your own relationships with family …do you have some one you connect with and are in contact with regularly? If not it could be why this bothers you so much … he and his brother will always be tight and at some point his brother will have a partner and their relationship may settle down but that’s on them to decide. For now do not give him ultimatums to pick between him and you because you will lose … be supportive and communicate with him what you need from him and understand that his brother will be involved with you life and compromise with that. No one wants to be controlled or given orders ect so you need to find a way to speak with him that gets you both what you want and no hard feelings.

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Mariam Raza me and you female version looool :heart::heart::heart:. I mean if he’s close with his brother let them be ? That’s a good thing he has a brother to talk to etc don’t ruin their relationship

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Maybe there secretly gay with each other. No one wants to be with there family that much. If they do then something is wrong.

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