How to calm nerves about giving birth?

I am a soon to be first time mom, at 32 weeks pregnant.
I am feeling very anxious about childbirth, specifically my lady parts tearing. Any advice to put my mind at ease? If not, any advice for easing discomfort down there after childbirth? This is probably a bit too personal to ask but I’m honestly terrified.


I ripped with my first and the hospital provided me with stuff to take home to use until it heals up completely

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Are you getting an epidural? If you are, you most likely won’t even feel it. I didn’t at all.
Use the squirt bottle they give you when you pee. Pat dry. Pat clean in shower. Use ice packs in your underwear (hospital might provide). Use witch hazel to help with the pain and itching.


Around 36 weeks, put evening Primrose oil capsules inside your lady part & take them orally through the day, and drink some red raspberry leaf tea from here til you give birth. Neither of these will induce labor at all, this was an experiment with one of my babies. I did different things for all 3 of mine and this one worked the best. The oil will make your part stretchier and less likely to tear and then the tea will prepare your body for childbirth by toning your uterus and it lessens bleeding and cramping majorly!! I did both of these with one of my kids and I didn’t tear at all and I was only spotting when I left the hospital! It was a fantastic easy recovery!

Dermoplast spray is absolutely amazing, They will give you a frozen pad after childbirth.

Don’t worry about just concentrate on meeting your little one.


I didn’t rip at all with my first one but spraying ice cold water on the lady parts really soothed my healing. For whatever reason I did get stitches but Dr said I didn’t tear but ice cold water in a spray bottle was heaven for me

I ddsnt know I tore till the doctor said he had to stitch me up a little, everyone is different bring someone that helps you stay calm and just keep your mind in a happy place and go with the flow

I had an epidural I felt nothing tear at all and buddy I TORE lol

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Sweetie, don’t worry about it. Whatever happens will happen for a reason. The end result will be your beautiful baby. Just take care of your woman stuff like the hospital tells you and make sure you take care of that baby.

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I had my baby all natural! You don’t even feel yourself tear to be honest! It was amazing getting to feel everything without the numbness of drugs!!!
The bed was the worst part as it was super uncomfortable for my back/butt!
The ice pack helps as the hospital only offers you Advil or Tylenol afterwards! Good luck!!

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I only ripped enough for 3-4 stitches with my first. Only 2 with my second and none with my third. Don’t worry about it hon. You might not even rip at all.
It actually didn’t hurt much at all in the following days. If it did I just took some pain reliever that was prescribed. I still have most of the last bottle they gave me nearly 11 months later. It’s just 800mg ibuprofen.

Soak period pads in witch hazel and freeze them, they make a numbing spray (just don’t get the antibacterial one. I made that mistake :confused:), use that spray bottle they give you liberally when going to the bathroom it makes life so much easier, and cortisone cream!

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Ask your doctor/midwife to use mineral oil down there when you are pushing. Remember, your body is designed to push a baby out so trust it and let it happen to the best of your ability. Most ladies have minimal to no tearing.

And I’m not about to lie to you and say labor is a breeze because it’s totally not lol after you have the baby your brain produces a chemical to make you forget the amount of pain you were in order to make you want another lol
But I feel like my body lacks whatever that chemical is though. yes, if I got pregnant again I know I could get through it but in that moment at the height of my contractions I felt like I was dying 100% the worst pain I’ve ever been in.
You’ll get through it though. The least painful part is actually after you have the baby though. So that’s not really something to be worried about right now.
Btw while the pain is bad while in labor it put me in a semi comatose state and the time kinda flew by.

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You can start doing massages to help ease the sudden stretching of the pre… Uh drawing blank on name. But if you have a great dr they should help ease baby out without having to cut. When my first was born I had a midwife but she took olive oil to the vagina and I didnt rip or anything. But was cut with 2nd (4 stitches) and 4th baby (2 stitches).

Dont be scared, I tore and I honestly forgot where it even tore because they stitched it up so well. Just get the epidural. It’s really not a biggie. You’ll do fine!!

If you tear significantly, a sitz bath a couple times a day will provide so much relief and will help you tremendously. Talk to your nurse, and they will probably provide you with what you need for the bath…my hospital did. Also, dermaplast is amazing. Depends are also so much more comfortable than the underwear the hospital will give you. I can tell you, my back labor was so much worse than any pain I felt after delivery.

I had 5 stitches. I got this “new mama bottom spray” at Walmart and it has witch hazel in it. Also I’ve heard pad sicles help a lot! (Pinterest or Google these). The spray bottle they give you will be your best friend! It doesn’t hurt as bad as you are preparing yourself for it to. I was walking around our town celebration 5 days later…

I tore with my first child I had 7 stitches you really don’t feel yourself tearing but remember to push with the contractions and tuck your chin I learned that with my second child I didn’t tear with him the cooling pads really help down there and the squeeze bottle

Only push when you feel you need to my second child the dr told me to push when I didnt feel like I needed to and I was exhausted nd I teared. My first time I was terrified and uncomfortable but I knew if i wanted my little one i had to get over at this moment not wanting to b touched. Ice pack does great. And what I noticed I only had one epidural (my first pregnancy) nd after having her omg I was so sore. Now the rest of my pregnancies even having a 2 lb mire baby than my first naturally with no epidural I wasnt really sore after having them. My first was 7lb 7oz(epidural ouch) 2nd 8lb 12 oz, 3rd 8lb 7oz and my 4th 9lb 10oz no epidural nd I wouldn’t change it lol

I tore only a little bit with my first but the stitches were the worst part in my opinion. They’ll give you all of the aftercare. Dermoplast and tucks pads will be your bff after delivery.

In Germany, the midwives gave me a little squirt bottle and asked me to brew chamomile tea… I swear by that! It’s warm and soothing to tender tissues. I had 143 stitches and they healed beautifully because of this home remedy.

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I work on Mother baby unit at a hospital. They will give you everything there to help you heal and show you how to use it. You will be fine dont stress over it.


I didn’t tear at all but this recipe for padcicles worked great on a friend who did tear

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When I was pregnant with my first my OB told me how to prepare and stretch my perineum weeks before birth. Google it. 3 babies (biggest was 9.3 lbs) and never needed a single stitch! No tears and no need to cut. Not a popular thing to talk about apparantly since everyone I ever say this to is surprised. Thankfully I had a great OB who wasnt afraid to talk about everything!

I know alot of people like to use an aloe and witch hazel gel along the length of the pad rather than spraying it down

Only push when you feel you need to and breath through them you’re most likely to tear when the head starts to come out just breath through the feeling if you plan on having an epidural tell the doctor you dont want to do the hold your breath and push method it causes you to push too hard which will make you more prone to tearing not to mention its exhausting.

Steal all the ice pads. All of them. Everyone’s. The only thing that made me happy were those and the pain medication for the week. I had a second degree tear so that could be why

I had to be completely cut from one end to the other because my sons cord was wrapped around his neck and honestly it didn’t hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would. Just use the witch hazel pads and the spray they give you at the hospital it helps a lot

If you tear theyll give you lidocaine spray. Itll be your best friend. Believe me its really nothing to be terribly worried about. Just a tad extra pain but nothing worse than cutting your fingers

Make sure you have some dermoplast for after you give birth to spray down there!

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When I had my first they gave me tucks pads, ice pads, dermoplast to take home and the stuff to make a sitz bath… my first was over 100 stitches bc my dr was impatient … my second I only had 5… take your time you dont have to push every contraction it is ok to take a break and breathe… let things stretch naturally and if your ob knows what they are doing they will do a pelvic floor massage if you arent stretching properly so good luck

I think it’s only natural to be terrified it’s ok the skin there is so thin if it tears you don’t really fell pain and the doc will usually cut it so it heals better and I thought it would hurt nope it gets numbed

Everyone is right. This is a natural concern, but will likely not be as big a deal as you think. My son weighed 11.5 pounds and came very quickly. Lots of arches, but the least of my concerns. Enjoy your little one. They grow up so fast!!

Don’t miss taking your Advil. Seriously. Ice packs are amazing and so is saline solution to rinse yourself after using the washroom if you tear.

These tuck pad things. They are for hemorrhoids I believe but on man they feel good lol. I would just put a few on my pad and leave them there awhile. And the numbing spray stuff. You can buy it at Walmart etc. think it’s called dermoplast or something like that’s it’s blue and white. Those two saved me. Plus they gave me a little squirt bottle. So well I peed I wouldn’t need to wipe down there.

But not everyone tears. One labor I did tear and I needed stitches and that baby was 8lbs 8 oz and then another labor the baby was 8lbs 11 oz and I didn’t tear at all.

Hope that all made sense I’m half asleep. :joy::woman_facepalming:

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I always thought of it in the sense that it was going to happen no matter what so I may as well just get on with in no point being scared what happens happens. Xx

I had a natural delivery, no pain meds. I ripped a little on each side (2 stitches on each side) and I didn’t even know it. Peeing after can sting them a little but I didn’t have that problem as long as I used the squirt bottle they give you. Fill it with warm water with baby soap in it (cold always helped me more though)… and then use the witch hazel pads they give you and dermoplast spray! Other than that Ifelt awesome down there…just slightly bruised.

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Witch Hazel, Dermoplast and keep the little spray bottle they give you it worked wonders. And ice packs.

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Pad-cicles made with witch hazel and aloe vera, then freeze it. Any of my friends had tears and said that it gave them so much comfort and helped them heal faster. Hope this helps

Peri bottle is life along with tucks for hemorrhoids and dermoblast (?) spay .

My son was 8 lbs and came out on two pushes . He came out so fast that unfortunately he gave me the worse tear possible . I literally couldn’t get up and walk around without help for the first 2 weeks .

My advice is to listen to the nurses when they tell you to stop pushing/start pushing. It’s hard to stop yourself but the main reason for tearing is that you push without pacing yourself. But depending on the size of your child, you might tear anyway. Don’t worry, take things one step at a time. Make sure you do breathing exercises.

It is not as bad as I was told. I tore a 2nd degree tear and yeah it hurt but meeting my son mattered more. The healing didnt hurt barely except peeing the first few days. Witch hazel pads, giant ice packs and dermoplast were the absolute best

My friend told me a horror story that her dr was impatient and she ended up tearing to her booty hole. She said her booty hole is uneven now. I was induced and my dr stretched me out while both hands while reaching up to align my childs head…i ended up with a c section after i pushed for 3 hours. 9 pound 4 ounce baby

Start eating dates! Seriously. It starts softening your cervix. I dialted fast, pushed for 15 mins, and had no tears

I had natural delivery. My Midwife massage me with lots of oil to help not tearing it worked

Those nurses will fix you right up. Doc usually makes a small cut if needed so you don’t hear. It is called an episiotony