Sure, I get to see them, but ever since then my kids father manipulates me, is controlling, abusive (not physically but every other way) and uses my children as pawn to hang over my head. He put conditions in place and told me I was to - have a stable home, stable income, and stable mental health. He lives with his mother. My children are cooped up in a study room and my son sleeps on a trundle. Since he put those conditions in place I have acheived them, and continued to be working since then (minus a year gap thanks to corona) I am unmedicated but have learnt how to handle my emotions and triggers. He had also been diagnosed with bipolar since then. anywho recently we had spoken about my changes to my work schedule and come to an agreement where I would have the kids Tuesday night - Thursday evening every week and Saturday night on my weekend… The DAY before, he claimed he didn’t realise the date was coming up. (Don’t know how that fucking happens) and completely backed out of our agreement and said once again we can work up to that because “we have to have the kids best interests in mind) We have been to mediation who said we were too difficult to figure out and issued us a certificate, thing is, now I’m working again and have been for several months, I can’t get legal aid which means I have to fork out thousands of dollars to even take him to court (which I don’t have)
He claims he’s got the kids best interests in mind but how is me seeing them for two nights and one sleep over a fortnight, in their best interests? He continually makes me feel like he thinks I’m incapable of looking after my own children. I unfortunately have not wanted to live on many occasions because he continually holds them just out of my reach and everytime I almost have them, he rips them out of my grasp. I’m at a loss, I don’t know what to do. I spend days laying on my daughters bed just crying because the whole reason I live here and my family are so far away, is because I up rooted my life for him, to have children with so he could cheat on me, manipulate, control, abuse, belittle and then use my kids against me.
I’m about ready to call child protection and tell him the home is unsuitable for them to live in. My daughter is getting close to puberty too and I’ve asked/told him she needs her own room, even if my son is to share with his father, my daughter needs her own room.
I am also currently dealing with health issues, such as new intense anxiety (have had anxiety but very mild until now) and my depression is getting ten times worse due to this. I just want my babies for two nights a week and a Saturday.
I could go on forever about this, but I’ll leave it at that. If anyone knows what to do, let me know. Coz I’m at my tether.
My advice would be to seek out non custodial fathers and ask them what they do…they live this everyday.
What do you divorce papers say?
If you originally had custody you cannot just hand over custody to the father that needs to be done in court…been through that myself.
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Take him to court. By the sounds of things you’ve achieved so much. Succeeded in getting a job, with an income and a roof over your head. However he’s still living with his mum with not enough space, does he have a good enough income to support them? Or scrounge off his mum too? Also he now has a mental health condition which would have worse days, so how was that any different from your mental health issues? Every kid needs both parents and to have their routine adhered too. Not when it suits him. He sounds very immature and using them to his advantage. You’ve done amazing to get to where you are don’t let him drag you down to his level. I hope everything works out for you💕x
Does he have custody? If not just go get your kids. F him.
If there is no custody agreement, he can’t do anything!! Next time you get the kids, the next day message him( so you have proof, especially if he gets mad ) Let him know you have a clean home with beds for them, you have a steady job and can provide for them , and in a great place mentally and emotionally! Thank him for taking the kids while you got on your feet. Now that you are , like y’all agreed upon the children will remain in your custody!! Most lawyers will work out payment plans and get the custody and visitation agreement together, also set up child support!
Call child services express your concerns explain to them the situation. You sound in a better position to be with the kids more so than him. his controlling behaviour is actually abuse.
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What do your divorce papers state? What is the current court order?
When you go to mediation isn’t there always an outcome? The outcome is usually not you are to difficult so they walk away with out a resolution. I would go back to court and ask a judge to hear your case since mediation didn’t work. Unless you are really unfit and the father can prove that you should get visitation.
You just broke my heart. I am so sorry you are going through this. I will pray for you please keep your head up- there is an end and this is not it. You can keep fighting because you know what you want. The kids can’t understand it now- but they will one day. All I can say is I’m sending you love. You have so much heart remember you love you and don’t forget that. 
Uu hv tried -alone- so hard to get ur children but u failed !! I think there is still one last way in which u would -certainly- get them back … GO TO COURT AGAAAAAIN
You can file a petition with the court on your own. It doesn’t cost a thing and your children will be assigned a guardian at light (an attorney) for the trial. As long as you have everything in order as you say you do there is no reason they won’t award you shared custody or even full physical custody
Represent yourself. A court will never hold children from their mother, or father, unless the children at in extreme risk.
I am going through exactly this, minus the cheating. I am in the process of a 6 week transition to getting my toddler back 50%. His dad took off with him, for 2 months, while I was getting off an antidepressant and onto a new one, because he was concerned for his safety, I have mental health issues, NEVER put my children in harms way, always looked after. But anyway, it pulls at your heart strings soooo badly… go to court even to represent yourself.
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If you don’t have a custody agreement in place you can take your children and not return them. It all depends if there is a court issue custody agreement. If there isn’t you have equal rights to your children.
Law states a child over the age of 10 of opposite sex have to have separate rooms
Just don’t give your kids back when you have them. Your the mother. He doesn’t have a place for them or himself so you do therefore your in the best interest for the kids. If your financial staples get a lawyer. Set up payment plan. Sometimes lawyers do that. Get supervised visitations for him if he has bipolar and unable to live on his own. This guy is bullying you
Are you in Europe? Not sure if things are different there or not. But you should be able to go to court for a custody arrangement without spending thousands. Does anyone have custody right now?
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You need a lawyer and something legal in place.
Go to court. Just because you work doesn’t mean you can’t get help. Many places help mom’s out free or base pay on income. Not talking medicine doctors think you need will go against you, so get doctors on your side
Court is the only option. And you gave the kids to him he is on a power trip and will always use that to his advantage he don’t care about them kids it’s all about control over you
You need to call family court
You need to go to legal aid. You will need documents to prove your income. You will either qualify for free legal help or reduced fees. Legal aid will give you a list of lawyers to contact. In the mean time get a calendar and document everything. Communicate by text because texts can be used in court but phone calls can not. The court will require your children to have their own rooms so you need to make sure you can provide that as well. It sounds as if he may bring up.your mental health so have your Dr write something to the court for you in case you need it. You can represent yourself but if you do keep calm and answer what the mediator or judge ask. Domestic relations can help you file for visitation and/or custody. It is not that much to file around $100 depending on where you live.
Legal help all the way. He is manipulating you all the way
You are not ready for your kids.
Lawyer and go to court plain and simple.