Hey there everyone, I could use some advice. I am 34 1/2 weeks pregnant with a toddler so I am a sahm for now. My husband works 7-3 Monday to Friday and I bring him to work everyday. I am awake from 5am to 2am Monday to Friday and on the weekends, I might sleep in until 7am depending on our toddler. My question is, how can I combat this fatigue? I go to school full-time and only have the time for it after our toddler goes to bed, putting me up til 2am or later each night. If I try when she’s awake, she is all over me and my husband doesn’t help much, he just goes and lays on the bed in the other room. I have brought this up to him multiple times and he’s accused me of gaslighting because I tell him all the things I did that day and what I would like his help with. He’s now calling me lazy because of how tired I have been. I have drank coffee, taken my prenatal daily, tried to call the school to reduce my workload to no avail, even energy drinks some days. Our toddler hardly naps now a days. I know it’ll get worse after our baby arrives but how do you keep yourselves motivated and energized throughout the day and into the night? I know sleep is an obvious answer but it’s not one I can choose at the moment.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to combat fatigue when you have a busy lifestyle?
I’m sorry. ): I’d slap that toddler on the dad’s lap and go do ur shit mama! He needs to learn NOW
Omg are you trying to hurt unborn child coffee isn’t good for baby and energy drinks are even worse
I’d be putting a bit more pressure on hubby!!! Especially bc you’re pregnant. A relationship is 50/50 whether you’re home all day or not. Plus you go to school to better all of your lives. He should be helping more. Let’s be honest… 8 hours a day at work is minimal… if he was working 10-12 hours I could understand why he was exhausted and couldn’t help. When he gets home he should relax a bit but can also help out with his kid/chores/give you a break. Even for an hour or two. Maybe stop doing so much at home so he sees how much you do in a day and that you’re tired?! I’d have a lot to say about a man that doesn’t help his tired, stressed and pregnant wife
My friend Teresa Holcomb Miller and Debbie Fleming Weiser can help you with the fatigue. They helped changed my lifestyle!
Time to start cutting back on EVERYTHING. Dirty dishes? Oh well. He needs clean clothes for work? Hope he knows how to run a washer/dryer. Hes hungry? Hope he knows how to cook. Stop doing it all. Do for you and your little and that’s it.
Your husband needs to step up, willingly or not. I understand he works outside the home, but you work inside the home, and you getting an education is to benefit your family.
I’d say you have a few options…
During the day when he’s working, focus on your child and the house. When he comes home from work, give him and hour or two to relax, then hand your child over and go lock yourself in your bedroom. Work on your school work, so that you can go to bed at a decent time.
Stop doing the housework during the day, and focus on your school work then. When he comes home and the house is a mess, he can help you clean/cook or watch the child while you clean/cook.
Put your child in part time daycare. That will help them socialize and give you some time to work on your school work so that you don’t have to stay up so late.
Which ever way you go, your spouse needs to step up. Period. A relationship is not 50/50, it’s 100/100. You pick up the slack when he needs it and he picks up the slack when you need it. Since you’re so close to birth, I’d say you need him to pick up some slack. It’s not going to get any easier once baby #2 comes. If you don’t put your foot down now and demand he help, you’re gonna be even more exhausted.
DO NOT drink coffee or energy drinks, definitely not good for the baby
Put pressure on your husband! Stop doing the dishes, washing his clothes, cleaning up after him, ect. If he doesn’t want to notice how much you do MAKE him notice!
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Stop doing all the things for him. Take care of you and your other child. If he doesn’t get it after a bit, he never will. I’d throw the whole man out at that point
Put your toddler on a sleeping routine, so you don’t go crazy mama. Goodluck. You’ve got this!!!
Honestly, just relax when you can! 3rd trimester fatigue is seriously annoying.
I also can’t stop picturing someone being pregnant with a toddler
Holy smokes. #1 husband #2 consider care for your toddler once or twice a week to get ahead in school. It’s only going to get harder with a newborn.
He needs to step up, now
Wow. Have you got your hands full. And it’s going to be more so when the baby comes. I would wait for him to get home from work after I had concentrated on school and the toddler all of the 7-3, then I would look around at the incomplete housework and tell him to either pitch in or get out! And prepare to pay! Tell him he’s the one who is lazy, expecting to pull 8 hours when you pull from 5am-2am to take care of the house and the little one while pregnant, plus going to school full time for the benefit of the family… and you’re still going while he’s on his a**. Pretty soon there will be a newborn to care for and you don’t imagine he’s going to do anything more with that child than he does with the current child. So if he’s not going to help… don’t stay around and make more work.
Girl he’s the one being lazy
My man works 7-3:30 out in the scorching California heat and I’m 38 weeks pregnant
He has never ONCE called me lazy, he helps with my toddler son WHO IS NOT HIS BIOLOGICAL CHILD, he takes over making dinner and doing the dishes half the time just because of the fact that I’m pregnant and it’s hot and he wants to try to keep me as comfortable as possible while I grow a daughter for him
From the sound of it, you’re about to have 3 kids to care for. The 2 you birthed and the one who claims he’s a grown man
Grown ass men CAN AND SHOULD take care of their damn selves on top of being a father to children they made. The whole “I worked all day” bullshit isn’t an excuse because YOU WORKED ALL DAY TOO making a human while taking care of the home and raising a toddler who no doubt is constantly needing something from you.
Stop doing anything for him. Stop cleaning up after him, doing his laundry, making him food. Stop doing it. Save your energy. He wants to call you lazy and say you’re trying to gaslight him by listing what you did that day? Thats literally him gaslighting you. He’s being mentally and emotionally abusive even if it doesn’t seem that way to you. Hes trying to make you feel bad so you continue to let him do what he wants while you’re the one feeling guilty
listen to your body and sleep if you can
Also…
Girl, melatonin every once in a while is nothing to look down on I never give my toddler the full dose, less than a quarter most of the time tbh just to help him get sleepy once he catches that second wind at bedtime
It helped me establish a bedtime schedule too btw. We used it every night at 7:30 for a week or 2 and after that he didn’t need it because his body got so used to settling down at the same time every night
If you don’t feel comfortable with melatonin, lavender scented stuff works amazing as well as chamomile!
Well… when your husband gets home, he’s now responsible for his daughter so you can do the other things that you’re responsible for. He doesn’t get to make a child and then do nothing with the child. When he gets home tell him you’re going to do your school work, and leave the area. Take your things and go somewhere your kid can’t bother you. Your husband sounds pretty damn selfish and if it doesn’t change, I’d make him pay for daycare if he doesn’t want to help
ask your midwife for help in the meantime skip the energy drinks its false energy and no good for you or the baby - maybe you’re anaemic and need some iron? can you take floradix?
Combat the fatigue by not having a shitty, useless, deadbeat husband and father of your child
You only sleep 3 hours a day?
How about a babysitter every once in a while. Dad needs to pull his weight.
Take care of yourself and the baby that’s on the way. If you have to give something up to get more sleep for a short time then do that. And I agree do not drink caffeine that will not be healthy for your baby.
Dad needs to step for real!! A full sleep cycle lasts anywhere from 1.5-2hours. Our body just keeps repeating part of the cycle as the night goes on. So if you find you can catch a power nap do it.
Honestly honey… I’d drop something and get some sleep. Not all hero’s wear capes
Don’t do anything but care for kids and you until your ignorant husband can see how much you usually do every darn day!!! If that doesn’t work, put toddler in day care a few hours a week and rest.
I Get Paid over $ 125 per hour w0rking from home. I never thought l’d be able to d0 it but my mate makes over $ 17960 a m0nth doing this and she c0nvinced me t0 try. The p0ssibility with this is limitless.
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Kick that worthless pos to the curb! You’re doing everything on your own anyway! He’s just another child for you to take care of…
Tell him to start doing his fatherly duties and actually help. Sounds like he takes you for granted. So when he goes in the other room lay your child next to him and walk away. His job should be making your job easier not harder. He sounds like a man child.
I hear getting rid of extra stress such as lazy husband does the trick … just kidding… but really you will have to learn to manage your time appropriately if you plan on doing everything not giving something up. Take less classes or something. Make your husband do more. Invest in a baby sitter or just suffer through it.
Girl take your toddler to him and leave the room! It works. Trust me
I drink ‘Blast Mixer’ which is mostly a b vitamin complex that doesn’t interfere with my sleep and doesn’t crash me. Also, most people said it and I agree, melatonin for your kid while you try to grab extra sleep should be fine. Or hire extra help. Pay your teenager niece nephew to help clean the house a bit or watch your toddler while you grab some sleep.
I take vitamin B6 complex. I asked the guy who worked at the natural vitamins section the best thing to fight fatigue and morning sickness for early.pregnancy.
Seriously!?! 3 hours of sleep or less! First of all, stop the energy drinks. How far away does hubby work? Is the job over 1 1/2 hrs away? Or why do you get up at 5? Does the toddler sleep there and back? I have lots of questions and many concerns for you.
Why can’t he drive himself to work?
You really are doing a hell of alot more than him. You’re going to wear yourself down. No one is super woman. Having 2 children and 1 on the way is so draining and stressful! I’m 36 weeks on Thursday and just reading this made me want to take a nap.
Hubby is being selfish!! You need your sleep even more rt now for your baby. I would have a long talk w hubby, that’s for sure! Good luck to you
Make him walk to work and then ask him who is lazy.
Your husband needs to help more. He’s so selfish
SO YOU GET UP AT 5 AM TO MAKE HIM BREAKFAST RIGHT
Why are you doing that and he can drive to work unless you need the vehicle…most men have that nentality they work so they dont have to lift a finger…you dtay home so you cook ckean look after kids basically you are a slave…
He us a lousy husband and a super lousy father who helped bring these kids into this world but doesnt want to lift a finger to pay attention to them…
I suggest you dont have anymore kiddos till you are at least done your schooling
You need more sleep and that is the only answer so cut out the 5 am wake up to cater to your hubby…
I run a farm and have better hours than that. You need to reevaluate what’s important before you burn yourself out
It’s not healthy and not safe for you to sleep so little. How do you expect to live with a newborn and a toddler on 3 hours… and not have an accident? He needs to step it up, and sacrifice some sleep.
You aren’t lazy, you’re a human being not a damn robot. He needs to step up more!!
Caffeine and anxiety
Stay with your parents and let him fend for himself. I wasted so many years trying to take care of a man that couldn’t take care of himself. It’s not worth it.
Try to get the toddler in her own bed and on a good sleep schedule for one. 2.Buy frozen breakfast biscuits and breakfast bowls to put in freezer for hubby and let him drive himself to work. Stop trying to do so much. Focus on getting more rest and taking care of yourself.
I was just a surrogate and had a girl for a couple on June 15th. I have an 8 year old and 4 year old. I put the 8 year old on the bus every morning while pregnant ,up until summer break, then went back to sleep until my 4 year old got up and needed a sippy,pull up,and breakfast. Would get those for her and she would go lay down and watch a movie while i slept 2 more hours. Your body needs more sleep while pregnant and you get up and down a lot to pee…so going without is not healthy. Shouldnt be drinking energy drinks while preggo either. Start practicing self care. Try doing some online schooling or taking classes later in the day so can sleep in. Dont want to cause harm to yourself and that baby.
Make him go to next drs visit. Let nurse kno ahead of time that you will be saying some things to dr just for dr to be on board, about stressing you to get more sleep and needing just rest and getting and hand from someobe on some of your task. Maybe hearing dr say it a light will come on. Hopefully. Oh and for dr to mention you will need help for a couple months with baby and house chores. So you can get over pregnancy and heal…it’s not just popping the baby out.
How about make him get a license and drive himself to work or he can walk. No sense in you losing sleep doing everything except make the money.
I’d call Dr Phil and complain about the husband he’ll straighten his butt out
Stop the energy drinks and try protein drinks tell him to help instead of being lazy laying on the bed he can he!p fold clothes or watch the kid you need your rest for the baby your carring, as someone else said your not superwoman!!
Can you postpone school or cut back on classes? Give hubs a list of chores to choose from and have him pick 5 or 10. If he refuses, take your schoolwork and go to the library or elsewhere and leave him with the dishes, the toddler & the laundry. Tell him you’re only working 8 hours and then quitting too.
I’m sorry he’s an ass. You deserve better. He won’t help when the new baby arrives either. Been there done that. I was called lazy when it worked full time an hour from home, took care of all household care, cared for our child, dropped her and picked up from daycare every day, took care of our dogs, did the shopping, etc. he did NOTHING but go to work, but I was lazy! I left his ass and never looked back.
How are you going to combat fatigue? Without sleeping more than 3 hours every 24? You’re not. You’re literally not.
Tell hubby if he doesn’t start helping with something, you are definitely going to gaslight his butt, lol, not fair if you take him to work, fair for him to help also, good luck
Hire a sitter for you to do your school work. Don’t add to your load by doing for husband. He is a grown man and capable of making himself meals and cleaning up after himself. If you can’t afford a sitter, put toddler in a high chair and let him/her color, watch a movie, or play with quiet toys while you do school work. You may have to split it up to several times a day, but that’s ok.
Let him do it for a day
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Maybe you should have thought about waiting to have children until after you got your education
Too bad you aen’t allowed two husbands, Might get a better one next.
Throw your whole husband away
You NEED more than three hours sleep a night! Talk to your dr and then put your foot down with your husband!
You might have to put your study on hold. Energy drinks, stress and exhaustion aren’t good for your baby. With an unsupportive husband it will be really hard