How to cope with a miscarriage?

Hello lady’s, 3 weeks ago I found out I was pregnant for the second time. My son is 18 months old and I didn’t think I was ready to do this again maybe just nerves. Well I went in at 5 1/2 weeks for a blood test and ultrasound. They doctors found the sac but said at that time there will not be a heart be they will check in a week later when the heart starts beating around 6 weeks so I went back for another ultrasound at 7 weeks and they couldn’t find a heart beat. This to me was the worst news I’d Received. I went to another ultrasound place for a second and then third opinion within that week an by the time I would have been 8 weeks there was still nothing. So they gave me three choices to allow my body to pass it on its own to allow medical assistance or follow through with a d&c. I’m get curious if anybody else had these choices and what you did. How did you cope with the lose. My bf of 3 years does not want to talk about it at all or tell anyone I’m not ready to tell his side of the family nor mine. I wasn’t ready to parent again but I had time to prepare I’m just sad because I felt she would have been a girl and I didn’t get that chance.

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I’m sorry for your loss

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Allow your body to pass it and try again in a few months I don’t know what to tell you about coping because I’m pregnant for the second time but it’s my first successful pregnancy and I still get torn up about losing my first even though it wasn’t planned

Honestly I wait till at least 9 weeks. When my son and his girlfriend lost their baby they were told you could be off by up to two weeks. They said you should not make any choices till at least then. Have they checked your HCG levels? They should have checked them, then checked them again 3 days later.

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I am sorry for your loss. I went thru a miscarriage with my 3rd pregnancy. I was supposed to be 9 weeks and my baby measure 7w 6d… I chose to let my baby pass naturally… it look less than a week

This happened to me during my first pregnancy. I waited to see if it would pass on its own. It was very painful like the worse period cramps imaginable. I went back in for an ultrasound and not everything passed so the Dr had to go in and get the rest. So out of personal experience I would do the D&C. Just so you can move on and heal faster. Its called a blighted ovum I believe is what the Dr said. So an empty sac without a baby. Its tough but the sooner you can heal the better, and try again.

I am so sorry you are having to go thru this. If your nd won’t talk to someone else. There will be other chances even if it does not fell like it now. There will always be a little sense of loss over who it could have been. I lost one like this. Sometimes they just don t get started off right. If there is definitely no doubt of loss any of those options are ok. For some reason your body is just slow in recognizing the loss of life. Grieve as you need to. I am so sorry.

Please wait, I was told my son was just a sack… I decided to pass him on my own and he just turned 7 in June

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I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and I let my body pass it on it’s own and that’s what I would recommend. I’m sorry for your loss, it’s definitely not easy to cope with but you will get through this. My boyfriend also did not want to talk about it either which was hard on me luckily I had my sisters to talk to so I didn’t have to feel like I was going through it alone. I wish you and your family the best.

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I am so sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately it is very common though I know it doesn’t help any. I think I cried for three days. They made me wait two weeks to see if it would pass. When it didn’t, I chose the d&c as it was a quick recovery and least painful. When we knew there was no baby, I just wanted to be done. Send you prayers & strength. Also, please know I have two sweet little boys that have since come along.

The less medical interference the better. Your body already knows what to do. When it’s ready, it will do what it needs to. Just give it a little time. I’ve had 3 children with 3 miscarriages also. It’s hard, but just dont give up.

Same happened with me. They didn’t find a heartbeat or anything until 10 weeks shes now 6!

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I had this happen my second pregnancy. And I had a hard time accepting a D&C I couldn’t bring myself to do it. So I decided to pass naturally, worst decision of my life :cry: I found out in November there was no heart beat and it wasn’t until December it passed. It really messed me up mentally knowing I was “ carrying a dead baby around “. I wish I would have had someone to talk to and a little more guidance. I highly recommend just doing the D&C. My son was three at the time and was with my ex husband. My son is now 8 and I am pregnant with my rainbow baby. I am so sorry that you have to go through this it’s not easy. It gets easier each passing day. But you will never forget or never stop wondering what could have been :heart:

My daughter had went through the same thing said there was nothing just the sac formed but there was no baby she had to get a d&c iy was very hard she was told it happens 1 in a 1000

What does your blood look like? That’s still very early. I wouldn’t decide based on ultrasound alone.

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Me too and he is almost a year. So I would just wait.

I’m so sorry you are going thru this. Reading everyones experiences has me emotional. I’m so sorry ladies.

I’m sorry. It’s really is soul crushing. I found out I miscarried at 6 weeks at my 9 week appointment. I was devastated. My body wasn’t processing the loss and still trying to nurture the dead baby. So I opted for a D&C. This allowed me to start grieving.
Also the Facebook group MiscarriageSOS has been great for support. It’s all women who have been through this.

I had a d&c my baby stopped growing at 8 weeks. My body never recognized the miscarriage so I didnt know untill I was suppose to be 12 weeks. It was a simple surgery for me just some cramping

Allow it body to do what it needs

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Have they tested your blood, your hcg levels? They can’t make a miscarriage diagnosis off of an US alone this early… You could be off on your lmp and due date. They should be testing your blood as well or I’d be going to a different doctor…

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I’m so sorry for your loss. This happened to me back in 2017. I decided to let my body pass it on it’s own. But then they did another ultrasound and said it didn’t all pass so the they gave me a pill to help my body pass the rest of it. The pain from the loss was unbearable for me. Lots of prayers your way

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Faith Ashley one of mine til 12 weeks

I have a situation that I’m kind of concerned about myself. Last week I had what I thought was my period. I bled for 3 days and one of the nights I felt like my stomach was being twisted really hard. A few days ago I took a pregnancy test because I haven’t been feeling good lately and it was positive. It says I’m pregnant. I’m just confused tho because literally last week I bled for 3 days. I’m not sure if I possibly had a early miscarriage or what because I have 3 children already and I’ve never experienced a miscarriage. I still feel pregnant tho. I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this?

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I’m sorry for your loss. I had a D&C

I have never been in your shoes so i cant offer advice. But i will pray for you. I hope God guides you to the decision that is best for you and your family. Im so sorry. Just stay positive.

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i have a friend that at 8 weeks they only heard one heartbeat. then they stopped hearing it and so the “baby” passed. she miscarried… but when she went to her follow up her preggo hormones were still high. they asked her to come back in a week and it was even higher… so they did an ultrasound and surprise!! baby #2 all happy n healthy and still no heartbeat! he’s 32 now healthy n w a family if his own! so wait n see what happens naturally… sometimes doctors are so wrong…

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Is it just me or this entirely soon to jump to the pregnancy is not viable/miscarriage? I was always told 8 weeks is when there should be concern…also if you’re having no pain, bleeding, cramping I would definitely wait it out.

Courtney Holmes my miscarriage lasted like a week. The bleeding and the pain was unbearable like honestly almost as bad as labor. I was only 9ish weeks or so. And if it was a miscarriage you would pass tissue. I passed my placenta. It was like the size of a beany baby.

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Courtney Holmes I can’t say whether or not you’ve had a miscarriage, some women bleed through out their pregnancy. It’s actually common-- the pain you felt could have been implantation.
However, a home pregnancy test only measures the hormone in your body, HCG.
After my miscarriage, a week later my HCG levels were still in the 3,000s. Some tests only need 25-50 HCG to show positive, so If I would have taken a test it would have said positive as well.
The only way to know for sure is to get blood work and see if your numbers double in 48 hours, then a ultrasound.
Good luck!

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Courtney Holmes maybe it was implantation bleeding

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Tayler Rian Cushing I’m sorry you had to go thru that. Thank you for the info tho. I guess I had my period while being pregnant? It wasn’t spotting. It was steady bleeding for 3 days

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I’ve been both situations. I had a D&c the first time and the second let my
Body do what it needed. It’s not easy either way. I’m sorry you have to do this.

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Wait and see things happen

Op adds

Hcg levels are getting lower and lower but nothing has passed so we decided to do medical assistance instead of the d&c yes I was tested every 2 days and checked to see if I was dilating to pass the sac I wasn’t

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Erica Cristerna I did 2 different rounds of the pill before my body passed it. And even after that I had to go back to the ob for a pap and she pulled some tissue out and sent it off to ve tested. You can message me anytime

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Courtney Holmes just go to the Doctor and have some blood work done. Why WONDER?

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Victoria Caballero I am going to the doctor. Does it personally bother you that I’m asking if anyone else has experienced anything similar?

I took the pill and thought I was go to die. I bled so heavy and cramped so bad. I went to the er and ended up having an D&C.

I also went through this. I believe it’s called a blighted ovium. For me it was really hard because it was the second miscarriage in a row. Once I researched it i felt so much better about it because I didn’t actually miscarry a baby it was just an empty sac. I opted for medical help passing it because I had to have a D&C previous for a 20 week miscarriage and I felt so uncomfortable and emotional with that. I came to find out I was diabetic and once I got it under control I’ve since had two more kids! Good luck with everything and do what you feel is best for you and your body.

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It’s known as a hydatidiform mole. Caused by an abnormally fertilized egg. No one’s fault. Sad for sure especially when one accepts being pregnant. Take care of yourself & follow medical advice. Try not to be too sad. It hurts for sure and is a real lost that very few people recognize as a real reason to grieve. It’s the same for miscarriages. No one acknowledges its reality to the lost it really is. Take care.

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This happened to me before we had our first. I chose medicine NOT a D&C because I couldn’t stand the unknowing of Is this it? Everytime I felt a pain. We found out a couple days after Christmas and we had told ALL of our families.

I have had 2 miscarriages. I choose d&c for both of them

This happened to me for my first pregnancy. They gave me the three choices and in the end I decided to do a d&c to get it all finalized. You still bleed quite a bit, but you don’t have to wait for your body to decide to miscarry. I then needed to be put on an antidepressant to help me cope. I had three other miscarriages naturally and finally had my rainbow baby boy 7/26/17. I then went on to have two more miscarriages naturally. There is nothing anybody can say to make it feel better, but you NEED to talk about it. Don’t hold things in, it will just build up and you will take it out on others around you. I hope everything works out for you. And try not to get discouraged.

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This is kinda like what went through…i had a blood test, because I had my tubes done with #5 she was c/s
My youngest was 11 months old…the test was positive…about a week later a strange blood clot came out…and I didn’t see it until I hit to flush the tolite… I DIDN’T have much blood at all went to the Dr the next day…tje top sac had a heartbeat…none in the bottom sac. Ultrasound confirmed I had lost the baby on the bottom ( only fluid in that sac ) the top sac grew into a healthy young man. He’s 30.

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I’m so sorry…I’ve never been in that situation…just wanted to say I’m sorry😢

I had four miscarriages very similar to this and each time I was scheduled for a d&c. Of course, mine were while I was on ivf drugs so the option of waiting it out and letting nature take its course was taking forever and breaking my heart more every day. I remember the first one I made them do one last ultrasound just to make sure before I would let them put me under. I was so sure that my baby was still ok. :disappointed: but that fourth miscarriage, it was my last because the following month I got pregnant (naturally) with my rainbow baby and I have been thanking God every day since for my little miracle. Have faith and keep your chin up. And no one needs to know if you don’t feel like talking. And if you do feel like talking…well, it looks like you have plenty of ears to bend here :point_up_2:t3: Good luck, Mama! :rainbow::pregnant_woman:t2::heartpulse::heartpulse:

I also should add that following the d&c I would only feel a little cramping and some light bleeding to spotting for a few days. The physical pain was barely noticeable, to be honest. And they did put me under for it. This was through RMA in Summit, NJ

I think it’s TOO early to “take anything” to get the babyout. You body will expell it naturally. My prayers and thoughts are with you. You can feel free to IM me anytime.

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I went through same thing in 2011. I had 2 choices… do a d&c or take a medication that will help it pass through. My Dr advised me to do the pill. This was in October of 2011. I called multiple times to talk to her to tell her I was still bleeding and it was in November of 2011. During those 2 months, I passed balls of tissue and actually seen my baby. It was the hardest thing I have ever seen or been through. Beginning of December, my Dr decided I should have a d&c. The pain and heartache is something I never wish on anyone and I’m so sorry you and other women go through this. With my d&c, my Dr scarred me, so after I had my rainbow baby 4 years later, it’s no longer safe for me to have any more children. I’m blessed with a wonderful loving son who means the world to me!!!

I passed it naturally at 6 weeks. I had went to the er with bleeding and cramps. That was the first ultrasound I had with Snowflake (the baby). The doctor came in to check me and I passed it while being checked. I had to go back a few days later for blood work to confirm miscarriage. They sat my husband and I in the family consult room, nurse came in and said “it was a miscarriage, here’s your paperwork”. And they sent me on my way. My husband didn’t want to talk about it, but would hold me as I cried.

I’m sorry Momma. I chose to try to let my body naturally take care of things when I found out at 12 weeks that my baby died. However, after a week, nothing was progressing. I asked for a final ultrasound just to be positive that my baby had passed, and then scheduled my DNC. I now have a rainbow baby. Good luck to you and hang in there.

I had 2 & I did d&c for both your asleep you won’t be in pain you won’t see anything I choose this because I couldn’t handle being able to see it. It’s your choice on whatever you do hun so sorry for your loss

I done this and waited for my body to pass it. I couldn’t bring myself to do things to lose it just in case they we’re wrong. I did pas it on my own

I had the same pain with Rowan. My miscarriages even early I could barely stay still from the pain. I hope you get whatever answer you are hoping for. I love you girl.

My only concern is if its a tubal you could get sick. My dr in canton w medicaid was amazing at Roswell Ob/GYN theyre so supportive with any and everything and i called worried all the time even not preggo lol