How do you deal with sensory overload? My ex has a very unpredictable schedule and, because of that, I lost my job AND my childcare. We have no friends or family close by to help with childcare. So it’s just the two of us for 3 (at the least) to 6 weeks (at the most so far). I’m not made to be a stay at home mom. I love working, I’m a hard worker, I’m educated. But there isn’t any childcare within her school district, we’re extremely rural. I’m homeschooling her, which is preschool so it’s easy. But I’m up at 6am, together all day… she goes to bed and I’m up all night trying to figure out the finances, the laundry, the fix-its, talk to another adult… I’m burnt out. But then! When she actually IS at her dad’s, I just cry because I miss her. I don’t go out; it’s such a small area that if the mail carrier sees a strange car in your driveway, it’s a community event and I don’t want to be the topic of conversation for this idiot zip code… I’d never do anything to embarrass my daughter. I’M TRAPPED! What are you moms doing?!? I’m exhausted. I stay up all night trying to get a second where no one is talking to me or touching me and start all over at 6am. Give me some resource. ANYTHING!
So get state assistance and get that child care and support and get back to work. Save up and move to a bigger place with better job opportunities. No one can fault you for wanting to do better in your life.
If you want to work put her in school and go back to work even if it’s part time.
Get a job with the school system so you will be off when she is out of school!
Find public pre k program and or check out care.com maybe hire a babysitter for a couple of days to get you back to work. Is dad paying child support? If he’s working why can’t he cover the babysitting fees until u get a few paychecks and then split the cost? There is a solution just have to find that happy medium. I am with my youngest from sun up to sun down. My oldest just started kindergarten but I had them 24/7 at one point. My breaks were few and far in between and that was just to the grocery store some days but it was a refresher. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Get a job or start a daycare to make money
if you live in a rural re, get dresses & go for walks, looking all around you , you just might get it
Get assistance at your local DHHS can help pay for childcare and it does not have to be an actual daycare. You can post on fb or garges sale sites that you are looking for a babysitter. Also put her in public school to help with child care. I know you may want to home school her but unfortunately your trapping yourself. If you put her in school you can get back to work even if it’s a few hours at a time so you can save up and move . Aldo your ex can help pay for day care and have him pay child support.
To start- stop caring what other people may or may not think of you. It’s your life, your family.
Also to start, because finding a job is easier said than done these days, even with the amount of jobs available it depends where you live, requirements of the available jobs etc- maybe think about volunteering for really anything in your community. Even at the public schools- daughter is in preschool now but eventually will be school age, might be beneficial to her as well to get a sense of structure and socialization. Then you’ll also be seen as a positive member of the community- and don’t think for a second that every other mama out there that you run into isn’t feeling the same exact way as you: overwhelmed, exhausted, lost, alone- we all feel that regardless of where you live. Volunteer with anything- you’ll meet other parents, getting your daughter out into the community, you’ll likely find out about childcare resources and could possibly lead to finding a job you never even expected.
If nothing else- just know that you’re not alone and we all feel this way! Mamas always figure out a way to make it work 
It sounds like rural life isn’t for you. You need more infrastructure. A smaller town, quiet suburb, etc might work better.
There’s plenty of remote work available, if you need that in the short-term, but it sounds like you’re lonely and need friends, coworkers, intellectual stimulation, and healthy adult time. You’re not getting that currently. You need to be somewhere where you’re not isolated. Good luck:)
(number to keep thoughts in order. Absolutely not to be hateful).
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I’m guessing your child is between like 2-4 age range? (Since you mentioned preschool). She’s not going to “be embarrassed” by gossip at her age.
It’s fair if that’s something that will embarrass you but don’t put that on her.
I live in a small gossipy town too… here’s what I’ve learned: if people want to talk about you? It doesn’t matter what you do or do not do. They will find something to gossip or speculate about.
So the choice is yours.
You can bend over backwards trying to escape any notice so you’re never gossiped about (which may not even work) or you can have that screw them mentality and live your life. Like I said. If people want to talk about you they’ll do it.
I hit a point a few years back where I just choose to be entertained by all the “things I was doing”
the people that really mattered knew the truth. If someone listened to the rumour mill without even talking to me? They didn’t matter. -
Second, I know this may not be what you want to hear…but if you need a job (for financial reasons and for your sanity) then temporarily think outside your preferred jobs.
Look for jobs with flex scheduling are they glamorous? No. Are they super well paying? No. But they’re a job and with flex scheduling you should be able to work around your ex until you can establish better childcare.
Once you find childcare that is reliable and will actually work with you then look for the job you want -
Again I’m not 100% sure how old your child is. You want to homeschool… then do it. But… Pre-K and public preschool (not daycares that call themselves preschools) are definitely NOT 8 hours a day. They’re 2-4 hours because realistically speaking a child under age 5 cannot handle an 8 your school day. So…cut yourself some slack there.
You don’t have to schedule every second of every day and you don’t have to be her sole source of entertainment every waking second. Free and independent play are actually important for kids.
It’s even ok for her to be bored at times (encourages her to look for ways to entertain herself)
I’m not saying ignore her, but it’s ok to let her play with her toys while you read a book or do housework as long as you’re supervising her. -
Get out of the house. It’s finally getting nicer outside. Take her to the park and chat with the other moms.
Go for a walk together. Give her a list (pictures) of things to spot on your walk…give her an old phone or camera (if you’ve got one) and have her take pictures of these things. -
It’s ok to feel what you’re feeling, but don’t pack up and live in those feelings. Is it a trying situation? Sure. But. You’re an educated independent woman. You have the tools to make the situation better for yourself. You just need to find the motivation.
I’m currently in the same situation. I love both of my boys (2&4) but I thought being a stay at Mom is what I wanted to be. I even dreamed as kid that this is the life that I wanted. But some of us (women) are more of a provider than a caregiver. I happen to be a provider. My older sister is the same way as I am. So, she gets me, I get were you’re coming from as well. I was able to buy my very first car this month. Almost done getting it ready for the road. Then after almost 4 months of being a stay at home Mom. I plan on applying for childcare assistance through the state, get my 4 yr old in pre school. He’s not in preschool yet because of his birthday being late in the year. Until he’s of age they’ll both be in daycare, so I can finally get out, go back to work and breathe! It’s extremely exhausting, considering I’m a single Mom of 2 without help from either one of the Dad’s help. I have them 24/7. I wouldn’t change it for nothing but everything will get better!! Just takes time 
Try to change your thoughts…and practice being grateful. It really does work. Move if you must, and get yourself back to work again!!
Why are you up at 6. And when does the child take rest or nap. Everyone needs downtime. Teach your child to play independently… you set up an activity and you should be able to walk away.
I’ve been seeing ads for these earbuds called loops that might help with sensory overload. I understand how you feel though.
A few times a day put on the ear protection head muffs the big ones you see lawn care people wearing to protect their ears. This is really calming to brain. Silence. It is relaxing and helps.
Go to work at a day care center and you can take child with you. It shouldn’t all be on your shoulders to figure out a schedule.
So if you aren’t working how are you paying bills? How did you lose your job and childcare because your ex is working? There’s some info missing here
Hear me out… find a church join a church, hang out with the other women there, some have mid week small groups, meaning other women u go hang out with for an hour or two on a certain day every week.
You do not have to commit to the very first church you go to. There are a lot other women who are lonely as well…(needs adult interaction) I’m one of them!
Also, create an hour of alone quiet time during the daytime, and Not nap time(it’s different)
teach this to ur daughter… it will help with inner peace,
So how does your ex’s schedule effect you? How are you paying bills? It seems you are leaving out information.
Make some mom friends in your area. That way you can feel comfortable to send your daughter to their house to get a break and return the favor by having their kids over once in a while to your house so that mom can get a break too. Or the mom can come over with her children and you can have adult time while the kids play. There are ways, you just have to step outside your comfort zone. If your child is preschool age, there’s no reason why you can’t tell her to go play alone for an hour or two a day so you can get some quiet time.
Move. Closer to a town, resources, jobs, daycare.
Hunny I am in the same boat, except I’m a single mom to two. I home school my oldest and I don’t have a job. I don’t have a bf or friends. ( I’m on disability)
Small towns are hard, but can also be a lifeline. You may need to “do as the Greeks do” to access local resources and groups. May not be right, but sometimes it’s how that area works. It was a hurdle for me I went from working hard and living in a huge city to living somewhere that the graduating class was like 10 kids and staying home with 3 kids and one on the way. It was HARD.
I dove into my preferred music and opened an etsy shop for my crafts and it gave me fulfillment for a while till I needed to find something else. I homeschooled my oldest for preschool too. I waaay overscheduled his days and burnt out. Shoot for 2 hours spaced out over the day and work from there maybe? A kid that age only has x amount of minutes of focus at a time… my autistic 6 and 7 year olds only have about 3 to10 minutes in them before meltdown mode. Independent play is beneficial for you both. If that’s not something she can grasp right now we found that a visual 60 minute wall mounted timer helped them see that they could do _______ when the red ran out. This may give you that little 20 minute mid day break you need. I got mine from Amazon for around 15 bucks but there are other styles for cheaper. Small changes and spurts of self care will add up to big changes with anxiety levels. Do what you can… when you can and please don’t be hard on yourself when your best looks different from day to day.
That’s not sensory overload persay but you’re absolutely overwhelmed and have too much responsibility for one person to easily handle
How on earth does your ex’s schedule cause you to lose your job & childcare? Get a job when you find a babysitter & don’t worry about his schedule 
. But staying home, there’s lots to do for fun like beach days & hiking… I used to love being a stay at home mom when I could years ago! Lots of time for hobbies!
Definitely reach out and make some mom friends. I felt this way last year due to my husbands schedule being m-f 14 hours a day plus the hour there and back. I found a few moms and have gotten close with 2 of them and we do play dates almost weekly and sometimes find the time to do dinner just the moms. It definitely helps not only us as moms but kids too. They love having friends.
Why is it his fault that you lost YOUR job? Clearly there’s some information not being told. And who cares why people think? Let them crack on with their lives, and worry about yours.
Ya why is it his fault that you lost your job and childcare
You need to come out of the woods and move closer to civilization…how you got barried so far back in the boon docks is beyond me…to have a life you must first find life…move out of that hollow and in to a town.
I hear this often. Being a counselor I have clients that have some of the same issues. I am also putting a group together for stay at home parents that want adult conversation. Yes, I will also help when needed. PM me if you are interested or email marcia@FaberCounselingAndCoaching.com.