How to deal with toddler tantrums?

hi all i really need help! my 2 year keeps throwing crazy trantums whenever he doesn’t get what he wants or anything pisses him off and screams throws tantrum. :expressionless: my husband has been putting him time out every time he does it. he does stop crying by doing that. how do u all feel about time outs? MIL was dropping something off she heard my son crying like that she knocked on the door wabted to come hold him she said ‘‘my heart is breaking’’ :expressionless::expressionless: i went off on her and said nope u cannot do this u can’t always hold him give him what he wants whenever he does this!!! and she never gets it she thinks we’re horrible parents and we’re tourching our kid… is what i do wrong!!! my husband and i just let him cry when he throws tantrum cause when we give him attention or give him what he wants he does it more and more and knows he’s going to get what he wants by crying screaming throwing tantrum . what do u all think?


You are doing the right thing

Other people will always feel bad because it’s not their child doing it. Your doing good mom stick by it. Same boat over here.

You are doing what’s right. I went through that with my own mom

I normally do time out if that doesn’t work I swat my boys on the butt. My oldest went through that phase he just grew out of it. He is now 4. Sometimes I just ignore him when he is throwing a tantrum then he forgets why he is mad.

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First, take him to the dr and make sure there are no physical problems.

Tell grandma to call child protective services if she’s so concerned. I’m not kidding. I had to tell my dad that. Then I went so far as to get an agents business card and give it to him. You are doing the right thing. Children will cry and scream and whimper to manipulate you. Better to end it now

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This is exactly what my husband did to our son last night. He spent the night with my parents and they coddle him and carry him around and do whatever he wants when he’s over there and the next day he’s whiney and cranky wanting undivided attention from us. We give him lots of attention but not like the grandparents. We put him in timeout for 5 mins or less until he calmed down and he did. We explained that it was timeout because he was being bad and we loved him. I think that’s better than spanking him. They need to learn they can’t always have it their way.

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Stick to your rules . You child your rules .

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You are doing the right thing!! My step daughter was comforted and held for the first 10 years of her life in every tantrum. She always got what she wanted. Now shes 13 and lives with us full time, but still has full blown temper tantrums in school. And I’m the lucky one who gets the phone calls and letters. And has to deal with the tantrums at home. She does not get attention from us anymore or gets what she wants.

2 minutes is appropriate time out for a 2yr old. One minute for every year old they are. Ignore the tantrums, it is attention seeking behavior. Positive reinforcement is key. Praise your child when he does positive things, such as listening to directions. Say you love when he listens and reward with your time, not things. It takes patience, but you will reap the rewards if your consistent

Keep doing it. You’re not gonna hurt him with time out. Its fine. She’s being overprotective bc its her grand baby. You’re the parents, what you say goes, end of story

You’re doing the right thing. We have a 2 year old and 4 year old . Time out for a minute each year, and if they keep screaming crying after being put in time out the time doesn’t start until they’re quiet… if they won’t go to time out when we say we double the time.

Timeout is a WONDERFUL discipline tool, and unfortunately a lot of MIL have strong opinions on discipline. That’s so hard to deal with, I know. But it is YOUR child, not hers, and you need to do what you feel is best for your child. Timeout does not hurt the child, it’s merely unpleasant. So your MIL can either kindly respect you as the parent who will deal with all of the later behaviors and consequences of an unruly child, or she can kindly butt out altogether. In my opinion

Youre doing the right thing


I do the same thing with mine! My son hit his terrible 2s 6months early. Drives me crazy when he does that crap. So I stick him in the corner or his playpen with no toys in it.

Ignore bad behavior reward good behaviour!!!dont hit them becuz ur angry your teaching them violence they just want attention do let them act out and walk away guarantee they get up and forget the reason why they did it anyway and BTW…Grandmas are the Bomb we taught you right and you lived Chill…

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I agree with what you’re doing and what you told your MIL 100%

Kids cry. Mil has to mind her business. Your not hirting him…hes learning a lesson. Your doing great…dad is doing great. My mom called me a Sargent when mine were little. I just said “thank you. Now you know why my kids behave”. She just looked at me. Now she goes on about how good they are (they have their moments, but in all they are very well behaved and have great manners). I put in the time and energy teaching them all day, every day. I used time outside, talking to them, yelling lol. I still use them today, just in a more mature way since they are older now. Keep it up mama. You got this

As a grandmother I understand your MILs feelings but stick to your guns. Explain that you would rather nip it in the bud now before it gets worse and the punishment has to be worse.


Keep being great parents!

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If you dont nip the behavior in the bid now, it will only get worse and harder to deal with as they get older! You are doing the right thing.

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What would she prefer you to do? Spank him? Time out is 100% perfect for a toddler throwing a tantrum. It gives them a couple of minutes to calm down on their own learning self soothing skills. Then once he is calm you can explain why that’s not okay. Sadly it’s just a faze kiddos go through. Not everyone is always going to agree with everyone on how they parent but it’s YOUR baby, remember that. Stay strong momma, threes are SO much worse than twos! :joy::heart:

My son is 18 months and gets minute long time outs. It helps, he collects himself and then gets up. Then I give him hugs and say thank you for calming down. My mom does the same thing though, gets really upset when he throws fits etc I think it’s just a grandma thing.


I used time out when my kids were small. The lady needs to mind her own business and let you and your husband raise your son.


I believe that kids really do want discipline. And 2 years old are testing out their world. I just tried to make it age appropriate and loving.

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I did daycare for years. I had a kid that did this when ever mom left …huge crying tantrum. For a week straight when mom left I would give her a hug and tell her I was sorry she was angry and sad that mom had to go to work but not to worry she would be back at 5:30 then i would show her the clocks and gave her a picture of what they look like at 5:30. Then i would tell her it was ok to be sad and cry but she couldnt kick her feet because she might hurt one of her friends. Then i would tell her things like we are going to be at the table playing with playdoh or having a snack and when she was ready to she could joun us. Each day she cried for a shorter time.


She’s being a grandma but you’re right. He has to stay in timout for a few minutes not let grandma bail him out everytime. He’s not dying just being a 2 year old.


2 yr olds throw tantrums because they’re…2. They don’t have the words or know how to express themselves properly. They’re still learning. But what your kid may be learning is a negative response is better than no response from you and that’s not something you want for him. Even after 3 boys(17, 15 and 2), I’m still winging it most of the time with my kids. Right now the 2 yr old has a thing with balancing crap that doesn’t or can’t be balanced on top on one another (odd shaped cars, a wheel on top of a block, freaking grapes on top of balls, etc…) and holy crap the tantrum and screaming that happens when it falls apart. I tell him, "Dude! Relax! OK. Are you done crying? (Yes, I talk to him like that - I did the baby talk with the older 2 and I’m over it) Great. What are you trying to do here? Trying to balance that grape on the tip of a play car antenna? Wonderful! But it doesn’t work like that (another bout of tantrum). Let me show you how it works (or what we can do instead) and I pile his crap on top each other in a way that it stays together, he says, “YAY! You did it!” and all is good until he tries to balance something else that doesn’t go together (which is usually within 5 minutes…lol). When it gets to be too much, because he does get overwhelmed after a while, I redirect him to something else. Usually the paddle pool in the yard or we play catch or, if all else fails, Blippi on my phone.

As long as the time out isn’t too long. 1 min per year of age. You’re doing the right thing.

You know your kid best and what will work for them.

2 years old is a really hard age. They are still babies and although they’re walking and usually talking at this age, people don’t understand how little they really are still! Just like infants they have very little control over their emotions and hardly any reasoning skills. it is important to start teaching them, but throwing them in timeout every time there’s a tantrum would be even more frustrating for them I would think. have you ever gotten down on eye level and tried to talk to him and figure out what it is hes frustrated about? Put yourself in his shoes. his entire world is controlled and run by people older and bigger than him and I think it gets to the point where little ones are just tired of hearing “no!” what seems like all the time! I would have a hard time with my mil stepping in, however I understand her viewpoint. it probly is breaking her heart and she knows that just holding him would make him feel better. But it seems like your guys are trying your best to train him properly, parenting is hard work :sweat:

Emotions are normal and healthy. Tantrums aren’t misbehaving, they’re actually the toddler’s brain’s way of regulating itself. Punishment or shaming of them isn’t healthy or useful and forced isolation, “time out”, is especially unhealthy. It’s sad that so many parents are so uneducated when a child’s life is in their hands.


Grandparent rules & parent rules are TOTALLY different. My mom would WEAR MY BUTT OUT. But when I had my daughter she didnt think that spanking was the way to discipline a child. I told her she had her chance & I turned out ok, now is my chance to make sure my child turns out ok. Parent your child how you feel is best.

My oldest tried having a tantrum ONCE!! Put her on the stairs, for a timeout. After two minutes, I asked her if she was ready to out of time out, and also asked what was going on to.make her feel the way she did. With huge crocodile tears streaming down her cheeks, she took a deep breath and said, “I think I need an adjustment!” (From our chiropractor).

Your doing the right thing. Talking (even though he’s 2) afterward is great too. Of why he was upset, starting to identify feelings.
Unfortunately it’s part of that age…
there’s also an app you can get for your phone or iPad that shows time out time with a sunrise that we used for my daughter. Obviously they have no concept of time really so seeing the sun slowly coming out is helpful. Also I’ve always done a min per year (sometimes I add on about 30 seconds just for a little extra calm down time).
He’s testing boundaries and what he can get away with so your absolutely doing the right thing. :heart:

That’s what I always did. My daughter does it too but just makes the time out for 2 minutes and turns her back to him. Then she tells him to use his words and asks him if he needs a hug to help him calm down. He says yes and then she holds him till he stops

You are 100 %right. If you don’t deal with this now, you’ll be dealing with it FOREVER! Tell mil to butt out. She raised her kids. God bless.

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She’s just being a grandma (you know, they had no problems disciplining us but their grandchildren are angels that can do no wrong…at least some grandmas are like that…none I know personally.)but you’re right. I was a preschool teacher for 8 years and a mom for 3 years now. Time outs and ignoring the tantrum (as long as no one is in danger of being injured) is what I’ve found to be most effective. Once the child has calmed down, talk to them about how they’re feeling and why (my daughter used to throw tantrums because she was mad that she couldn’t go with her dad to take the dog out). I always made sure to tell the child that it’s absolutely okay to be sad/mad/frustrated/etc and even okay to cry because they feel like that but screaming like a banshee that has an arm or leg falling off was NOT okay. Keep up the good work! It’s so much better to deal with it now rather than later!

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Ur doing a good job :blush:

I think tou and husband are taking the right approach.when my daughter was 2 shed throw fits and she would throw things she got her butt swatted and put i. time out my mil. told my husband (ex now) that i was mean amd cruel yo my daughter than a few weeks later yherr wad a anniversary party for mil parents and my daughtet was the only child there that didnt touch anything or break anything and my mil apologized yo me smd never said anything else about how i disciplined my daughter.

Idk, my 1 1/2 yr old son climbs on tables, gets into everything he possibly can, and responds to “no” with “yeah!!” :laughing: If time out works for you, I don’t see the issue.

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I think you and daddy should both put your son in time out for his tantrums. He needs to listen to and respect both parents not just one. Tell MIL that your sorry for ranting on her but it breaks your heart too but that you want your son to be a well rounded son.

Mother in law can mind her business


Mils :woman_facepalming:t3::woman_facepalming:t3::woman_facepalming:t3::woman_facepalming:t3::woman_facepalming:t3::woman_facepalming:t3::woman_facepalming:t3::woman_facepalming:t3::woman_facepalming:t3:

Who care what she thinks, you are doing perfectly. That is a perfect response to an unnecessary tantrum, to do nothing. Ignore him

Dr will tell you to pay no attention to him and make sure he can’t hurt himself and let him cry once he realized it not getting him no where he will stop

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Your fine. It’s a way to get attention and power. Just be conscious of spending time with him and giving him choices. Even teaching him to breathe through it if it gets too crazy. Grandparents forget they used to do the same thing. Lol.

I think you are in the right.

She needs to mind her own business, you are the parents not her! You are doing the right thing!


That’s what grandma’s do. They spoil their grandbabies. My mom does it with my kids and my gram did it with me and now she does it to my kids too. I use time outs but they don’t work for my son like they do for my daughter. Kids like attention it doesn’t matter if it’s positive or negative. But they also have short attention spans. They say a minute for each year. With your son being 2 that would be 2 min. He’s young and after so long he won’t know why he’s still being punished. So yes teach him he can’t act like that but do it within reason. You can also just ignore it. That works too. Kids at that age don’t know how to express their emotions bc they don’t fully understand them. So when he gets frustrated he’s gonna show you.

Ur doing the right thing. Tell mil to mind her business

Try to prevent it before it happens
And before any one has anything bad to say, yes I am aware how hard it is!
Try and explain( before the screaming starts) the reasoning behind it (which most of the time there is a legit reason)
This is the only advice I have.
Toddlers just throw tantrums!
Luckily, it will pass, it just seems like it takes forever.
In all reality, the only thing you can really do is just ignore him. Try putting him in his room when the tantrum starts, and he can only come out when he is calm. (Never really worked for my nephews but at least the screaming is more quite)

I dont negotiate with terrorists! :rofl: we discuss and explain things when everyone is calm! A strop gets u nothing in my house! Kids gotta learn how to be good adults. Too many adults assault each other in temper tantrums. Road rage. Domestic violence. Etc. Them adults wouldnt be that way if they were put in time out and learnt how to communicate properly. Keep on going! you’re doing great!! :+1:


this is one of those things that get on my nerves with my own mother, we are constantly, arguing.

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My daughter had tantrums too I sent her to her room with the door open and told her she could come out when she could behave. She sat in there yelling Let me out of here. When she calmed down she came back out and was fine

Tell MIL, she can have “grandma rules” at her house, but your house, your rules. Maybe she can have her own “time out” outside so she doesn’t have to hear him wail for the 2 minutes.

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That’s why they’re called the terribke 2’s. He’s trying to claim his independence. You can’t let him get away with it all the time. Good luck

Whoop his ass and throw him in his room until the crying/screamin stops. than tell him about his actions equals consequences. If he doesn’t learn that early in life he’s gonna have jail times.

My daughter used to throw horrible tantrums. I was so tired of it, one day I had just enough so I threw myself on the floor and started to scream and yell and kicked my legs lasted a couple minutes. Then I got up looked at her and said that’s what you look like!!! She never did it again. Ir was so funny. I think I scared the crap out of her at first. It worked​:revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts::revolving_hearts:

Welcome to being a parent.
Funny it’s taken 2 years to relaise kids are assholes :joy::joy::joy::joy::joy:

Your child, your rules. Tell her to leave, it’s not her right to discipline. I agree with Britani Ruthann Alatorre!

My mother had time outs She would take time outta what she was doing and pop our tatrum lil ass prob solved spare the rod spoile the child

I think it’s b s that you can’t spank their butts it’s crazy

Take triple p parenting course

It’s ok to have time out , but remember 1 minute for each year of the child’s age .

You are right, she isn’t. End of story.