Needing help with feeling mom guilt.
Mom guilt, please help! My son is nearly 2 yrs old he’s not in the nursery due to lack of spaces where I currently live although he goes to a toddler class which I attend with him once a week. My partner works most days 13-hour shifts! So you could say I’m doing all the hard work on my own recently I’ve been feeling really down and so uptight and stressed out due to his tantrums “ he can scream the hours down for ages and I feel like I’m losing my mind I’m in desperate need of a break although my parents work also and they can’t handle him either at the best of times I feel mega guilty saying I need some time to myself ( for example ) … he clings to me like a leech he stood outside the bathroom door waiting for me to come out whilst my partner was in screaming his head off that much for me he made himself sick … it’s taken me mentally ill a think , but on the other hand saying “ I need a break “ makes me also think it was my choice to have this beautiful little boy who depends on me for everything he didn’t ask to be here I have a duty to be by his side all the time my mind is in a catch 22 … what do I do mummies
10 Likes
Mom to 4 and will say it’s so normal to feel this way. A break is good for yourself. Maybe try a little time away at first and work your way to a day out or schedule a date night and start from there.
1 Like
You will always need time for yourself. It’s not selfish or wrong to feel overwhelmed. See if the dad will watch him long enough to let you go for a short drive, or walk around a park for a bit. Just because you’re a momma it doesn’t mean you have to give up every aspect of your own identity. Good luck.
2 Likes
Take a break. Even if it is only an hour. You are not able to be there emotionally for anyone if you are burnt out. We all feel guilt when we need a break from our kids but after a while you learn to cope. You can try getting a cheap egg timer so he can see how much time he has before mommy gets home.
1 Like
Get a babysitter and go out…get a pedicure, watch a movie, Starbucks at the beach. Both you and your child will benefit from you taking some time to re charge 
2 Likes
Dont feel guilty. You love your kids with your whole life you would do anything for them. But you’re just human. You need time to yourself to relax. My husband and i get a babysitter for date night. We go watch movies play golf or just snuggle. It doesnt mean you love your child less and you want to be away from him. You need a little break cause raising kids are not easy. You arent the only one. Get a babysitter and go get your nails done! Little things like that will cheer you up and you need it from time to time!
1 Like
Needing a break is nothing to be ashamed of, think back to when you were little, was your mom in the same room with you 24/7? Raising a child doesnt mean they need to be skin to skin every minute of every day until school starts. You can go out, go get a haircut or a cup of coffee by yourself, take a few minutes and take care of yourself. If you dont take care of yourself you wont be able to take care of him.
2 Likes
Get some mommy friends and maybe exchange some playdates and during a playdate take that time for yourself.
1 Like
Take a break, they feed off negative energy and can tell you’re off so dont ever feel bad for needing a break. You’re human and not only is it good for you but itll be good for your baby to have a happy momma.
My kids are 3 and 4 and it’s hard but, we started playing pool on a team every sunday (for MY me time) my mom keeps them for 5 hours… you need your own time… it’s not healthy to go crazy when your doing it alone… find a hobby to do one day a week for an hour or two 
You can’t give him 100% if u don’t take time for yourself. I learned that!!
1 Like
Dont feel guilty. Sucks to say but I sacrifice sleep to get alone time. Once the kids are down I spend the next couple of hours doing what I want, watch tv, play games, etc. Hes just 2, all 2 year olds are clingy. Mine is sitting next to me cuddled up right now, as he is most of the day. It gets better. As for your partner you need to communicate because yes he works 13 hour shifts, mine does too and 3rd shift at that, but you work 24 hour shifts, 7 days a week. The least he can do is find something to go do with his child on his day off, and give you a break.
Why is he screaming? Typically a 2 year old will tantrum but not scream for hours , right?
1 Like
All good leaders take breaks- and all parents need down time. It’s a part of staying healthy and balanced. Look into other options for daycare… he probably feels your stress and anxiety as well, not to make you feel worse, but… for now, go for some walks and is he getting nap time?
Breathe! You can do this. Make some plans…
You can’t pour from an empty cup self care is important!
All mommies need a break. Sometimes its hard to find someone you can trust to help never had a kid do that to me do you share a bed with him if so that can be a problem
Is it a requirement that you go to the toddler class with him? If not, tell him ahead of time that you can’t stay with him but he will have lots of fun until you get back. Don’t stay gone over an hour the first time so he knows you will always come back. He may cry and have a tantrum but he will learn to adjust. Good luck with your little fella.
My son will be 4 tomorrow and this is his exact behavior. What I so is ignore him u will eventually stop being so bothered by it. I also pray and ask god to give me faith and the strength. Do little thing worth him e.g… Colouring books and cheer him on all the time then tell him “u are a big boy now so u need to stop crying”
I can give some advice on the temper screaming, get a spray bottle fill with water and give a squirt when he begins a tantrum. Don’t give in to whatever he wants because that will positively reinforce a behavior you don’t want . It will be hard but remain strong. The water is just to get his attention and should end the screaming.
4 Likes
you get a baby sitter or tell your s.o that you need a break he needs to take over and go out for a few hours… yes he works alot but your job is 24/7 … dont feel guilty everyone needs time to shut off once in awhile…
2 Likes
Find a job that you like. Even part time, even if you don’t come out ahead financially, might just be what YOU NEED right now…??
I honestly don’t know what to tell you coz I have three year old twins and one has special needs… I ended up on Antidepressants. It’s hard to explain to someone what you really go through but you’re gonna have to fight for yourself so that you reach a place where you can make decisions on how you can get help with your son otherwise you will just sink into a hole. I took my kids away for holiday for almost 6 weeks and stayed with my best friend and it was the best decision I ever made. Sometimes you just need a friend to talk to who understands how things go
I saw this the other day and I couldn’t agree more. If YOU are not happy, how can you expect your child/ren to be happy?
I’m a first-time single mum of a 2 yo. His father has minimal visitation (his choice because he works full-time) and my parents and siblings work full-time too so I don’t really have much of a support system. I had my son overseas while an expat so I don’t belong to any mummy/bub playgroups.
What helped me was to enrol my son into day care 3 days a week, take up studying on those days, and now I’m ready to return to full-time work.
I think it’s so important not to lose who you WERE before you became a mum. I AM a medical technologist and loved doing what I did. I’ve had a fulfilling career in pathology for 10 years, took a 2 year maternity break, taught my son his ABCs and numbers and whatever else I could, and now it’s time for me to focus on myself a lot more. No shame in that!
Good luck with what you decide works for you and your family.
Put him in daycare for a couple of hours each week so he interacts with others and you have a break or you both will suffer
You need a break, mama! And you should never feel guilty for needing some time to yourself. You are still your own person, not just someone’s mom/wife! Ask your partner to watch him while you go take a stroll by yourself or do something you enjoy!