I have been with my boyfriend/baby daddy for 12 years and the first two year was great and then we had kids and now our relationship is not ok. We don’t have communication and we don’t have any conversation if I start up a conversation with him he will shut it down fast but he can have a great conversation with his friends and family and that hurt my feeling and another thing we don’t show our love for one other anymore we don’t kiss or hug anymore. And there is more I don’t know what to do please help me
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Time to either hash it out or move on
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I went through that too, my advice is get out while you can i didnt, and it ended up getting so much worse. Please save yourself and your children the heart ache and get out
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You need to talk to him and be prepared to move in opposite directions worst case or do a lot of work to get your relationship back to where it needs to be
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Have you considered couples counseling? Have you asked him about it? I hate how quick people are here to say leave. If you love him, fight for it! Relationships go through ups and downs, with bumps and snags at every corner. Nobody has a perfect marriage/ relationship, you have to work at it every day, some days more than others lol if you’ve exhausted EVERY option THEN maybe it’s time to leave. But don’t throw in the towel if it’s something that can be resolved and both parties are willing to make an effort.
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First make him listen tell him it’s imperative that he listened to you that you’re not happy about the situation and see if he wants to work it out
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I would bring up relationship counseling. If that’s a no-go with him, it’s probably time to cut your losses. Take the kids and move on. He’s not interested in a relationship anymore.
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Start “over” start dating each other again. If you don’t normally wear makeup but used too start doing it again try to mimic some behaviors that used to get his attention if you start to put forth the extra effort and bring back those feelings that originally started the “butterflies” then it may just help reignite the spark. Mind you be patient it may take doing this a for a bit before he notices but doing stuff out of the norm just for him may help reciprocate. Good luck and best wishes
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Write what u need to say down give it to him when hes going to be alone for a bit so he cant walk into another room and be like wtf without reading the hole thing then go from there …it will undoubtedly start one convo or another u will find out how he feels by his reaction. Oh and it’s all in the delivery dont be bitchy or condescending in the letter dont blame or be mean just say how u feel from the heart!
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2/12 years? Yeah. No.
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Starting over you read my mind TY 
When you’ve been with someone for awhile, things tend to become relaxed in the relationship. The affection and appreciation seems to disappear, but you have to work to get it back if you two truly want it. It has to be both of you working towards it, only one working it won’t go good. One or both of you already feel resentment and neglected so there’s hurt feelings, you have to see where wrong was done and admit that, and agree to work on doing right. We get comfortable and relaxed so we “stop trying or showing”
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Was in the same boat. It’s going to be hard but leave. It hurts for a bit but the kids and you will be better off for it.
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That’s how my marriage ended up. I tried everything I could. After 4 years of that I couldn’t take it anymore. I spoke to him a lot about it. He never talked about it. Never tried to change anything. We’ve been divorced 2 years now.
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Communication is key is any relationship, 9 years and 2 kids we make time for each other since our bump, we reconnect weekly no phones, catch up on a TV series sn reconnect, monthly we have date night, that means even if it just face food in front of a movie on TV, he taught me poker that was fun lol we have separate hobbies but we share a hobby together , relationship ain’t easy there hard work and take work we do try and get a full weekend together when grandparents take them, there’s alot of financial pressure on couples try and sort that out aswell cause that can be alot ofbthe cause of arguments, stress and fighting , and honestly reconnecting is the best thing you can try to do alongside also couples therapy, if you then have tried everything and every option then would be the time to call it quits don’t forget as people we grow and change yearly
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Read Laura Doyle books and listen to the podcasts. They have helped my marriage a lot
Spice it up and start “dating” your SO again. It’s so important to make time for y’all. I’d try seeing if you can set up a date and go to a nice restaurant, and maybe a movie? So many times we as humans, stop doing all the things we originally did to “get” each other. Make it a month thing. Try counseling as well.
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I’m not sure you can fix a relationship where your partner refuses to even have a conversation with you 
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Couple counseling would help. Read the book, the 5 love languages…this helped me with my marriage and even with my kids. You can’t love someone in YOUR love language, you have to love them in theirs. Really opened my eyes to alot of things. Also, make time for date night, doesn’t have to cost anything or be anything huge, just alone time. Remember why y’all fell in love
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sounds like he’s already checked put of your relationship
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Sounds like this relationship has run it’s course.
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Get a baby sitter and have a serious sit down with him to express your feelings. Tell him you guys need counseling, or change to succeed.
Marriage council or tell him you want a divorce if he doesn’t want to work on it then he’s already gone or has gotten 2 comfortable and no longer want work on it
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Counciling if he’s open to working it out if not than unfortunately leaving is your only option
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12 years is a long time to just walk away from . Perhaps talk to your partner about counseling or a time arranged for just the 2 of you…. A little get away to see if you can spark the flame again. Sometimes we get so comfortable and caught up in our day to day life that we forget to make time for our partner and the relationship. It just becomes the “normal.” If you try multiple things and it just doesn’t do the trick then the relationship may very well be over with but it’s worth the effort to try to save it if possible .
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What about trying couple counseling
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Seek him out. Go find him before you leave to show affection, or before he leaves. People are not mind readers and sometimes don’t even know what’s missing so they don’t realize it needs fixed.
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Unless he’s willing to try, what do you think will happen?
Sometimes what we have isn’t what’s right for us and we waste time by not acceoting it and moving forward.
Step back, look at your situation…if your daughter asked you what to do, what would you tell her?
Do that.
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Unfortunately it may be time to move on.
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This is so sad as feel for you…"lovely it already sound as so the relationship has come to a end…i think you may need to ask a family memeber thats close to you to watch your little one for a couple of hours and have a sit down and see what the score is…i dont think its fair you to leave the home if it comes to a end but for him to leave and try and keep the home as natural as possible for your children.keep us posted how you get on❤
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Perhaps talk to him and get into counseling. If he doesnt do whatever it takes to TRY and make it work…he isnt theone.
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Find a small local church and insist the family start going on Sun mornings…also attend church funtions…pot luck dinners and such
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Run as fast as u can.he has some1 lined up i smell a rat here or open the.door wide n kick him to d kerb he sounds mizerable even 
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Kids completely change relationships. The focus shifts from partners to almost entirely focusing on the kids. Men often get resentful; they want more attention. They miss the carefree, pre-kids life.
You two need to break the current pattern. Your kids are old enough that they’re more self-sufficient.
Your relationship must come first; the kids a close second. You need to open a discussion with the aim of going to couples counseling.
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Seek out couples counseling and also try talking to him.and see how he feels then tell him how you feel
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Sadly he doesn’t want you anymore I’m pretty sure . Probably has someone on the side
Maybe you need to have some date nights to spice up the relationship .Also let him know how you feel. If he doesn’t know how you feel how can he change
I would say move on. But I’m curious as to what the more is that you left out? 
I was going through the same thing a year age come to found his was cheating 
time to let go hun
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Counseling. Couples & individually. Men aren’t supposed to show any weaknesses, so if he is going through something he doesn’t want anyone to know—depression, work bullying, medical issues, self doubt, feeling overwhelmed, facing getting older and his own mortality, etc. He won’t talk about it with you in order not to appear “weak.”
He needs to talk to someone and work through his issues so he can be present with you. Maybe find a male therapist who specializes in working with men. He might be more comfortable doing phone or zoom sessions and be sure to tell him if it’s a bad fit he can change therapists.
Add as much fun into your lives as you can to balance out the drudgery. Do things as a couple and as a family. Paddle boating, picnics, movies, massages, family yoga, line dancing, get a night at a hotel and swim in the pool, eat like pigs at the “free” breakfast, enjoy freshly made beds, a pristine bathroom and not having to pick up after yourselves. Take a bottle of wine for the two of you, sparkling cider for the kids.
Go bowling, see school plays, go to parades, festivals and fairs. Get several reliable babysitters you can call for date nights. If money is tight, go someplace and stare at the stars, make out in the car or the park at night like teenagers. Attend a free lecture then talk about it over coffee. Plan trips together as a couple and as a family. Plan realistic vacations or your wildest fantasies that are out of reach but fun to think about. You’ll get to know each other better by talking about what each of you think is awesome. Save for the realistic ones and make them happen at some point. Schedule sex if you’re not having it regularly.
Schedule family walks in the park every week. Give kids a mission to look for one thing as you walk, like bird nests, mushrooms, vines, squirrels, different kinds of tree bark, flowers, a type of rock, other people wearing a specific color, dogs, bicycles, babies—whatever to keep them engaged for 20-30 minutes. Schedule 10-minute family walks in the neighborhood or elsewhere every day. Get as much exercise individually and together as you can. It’ll boost your mood, health and make you more fit.
Add in spirituality by attending a religious institution, meditating, labyrinth walks, looking up prayers and poems in books and reading or reciting different ones that speak to you at meals, bedtime, or transition times. Add positive mantras for everyone to recite every day.
If this is the “for worse,” talk about what you want/need to do to get to the “for better.”
I hate to say it but he doesn’t love you anymore. Start making plans for a new life.
Walk.life is too short to be unhappy