I would like some advice and opinions on what I should consider doing. I’m married for 7 years, have a 1.5 year old beautiful son. My husband and I have a total lack of communication, he has difficulty with informing me about most things. I find it very secretive. But it’s something I sort of accepted. The other thing is we don’t have sex. Maybe like once a year, to his satisfaction only, for the past few years. I used to always initiate but got turned down so often so I stopped… Recently I checked his phone and found texts to a friend, who is married as well with kids, and the conversation was very sexual in nature, talking about preferences, positions etc.
It doesn’t appear like they’ve done anything yet though.
I absolutely hate confrontation, it gives me so much anxiety. I’d appreciate any advice on how to deal. I really just care the most for my son in all of this… He is also a lawyer so I fear if we divorce he will take my son away.
He can’t take away your son. Just tell him what you saw, he’s in the wrong not you
Sit down to have a conversation ask him if he still loves you that way you know if your waisting your time.
I honestly dont have any advice for you other than you deserve better and so doesnt your son. Don’t waste your life being unhappy… ill be praying for you!! 
Take pictures of the conversation before you do anything in case you need them in court.
Message the woman and tell her what she is doing is inappropriate or get your ducks in a row before hand
Sorry but you can’t be in a marriage , have sex once a year and think it’s ok. He’s looking elsewhere. I reckon both of you need to work on the marriage or divorce
Document and photograph those conversations.
File for divorce claiming adultery.
Get your kid and go
Take screenshots of messages. Do not contact the other woman, appears unstable. He has not being having sex with you because of finding it elsewhere. Go see a lawyer, stick money back into a savings account under your sons name for when things end. And find a lawyer that’s ruthless. Be smart and look out for yourself and your son.
If he’s not physically cheating he’s emotionally cheating.
If he is a lawyer I would say that is why you haven’t found anything worth very much evidence wise
I would still get proof of everything you said above, document all the things failed in the relationship and file for divorce
He has proven his loyalty isn’t to you and your son any longer
He can’t just take your son away, not how that works. In my opinion you have 2 options, 1. You sit back and just wait for your husband to step outside your marriage and you both continue to be unhappy or 2. You confront this head on and figure out what you both expect out of the marriage and if your not able to agree on where you see your marriage headed, take the proper steps to separate. No point on wasting everyone’s time and having your son around parents who are miserable.
Tell him to hit the road fine some one that can treat u like u want to be treated
This is me and my husband desire the talking to other people it sucks
Also check out the girlfriends guide to divorce on Netflix it is empowering and funny
And I would also choose to maybe talk to someone about your anxiety through this tumultuous time in your life, with everything going on and everything getting ready to happen if you follow through with divorce your mental health is real important to take care of for yourself and your son
Also find a great lawyer
I would get a friend (he doesn’t know) to follow him and get pictures of whatever he’s doing 
I would be so pissed and hurt. But I would want to confirm any suspicions with this woman. Then I would tell her husband 
I don’t think you need to go as extreme here as some of the comments say. Sexual intimacy is so important to a relationship. So is communication. Tell him what you saw and work it out or decide to split.
Look. I’m not judgemental or an asshole, but leave. I’d love to say it can be worked through and maybe it could, but any success relationship I’ve seen didn’t have this. It’s in no way your fault! But he chose to see an outside party instead of working with you and that for me isn’t acceptable.
Confront him but honestly before you do screenshot and send the messages to yourself and delete the evidence of you screen shotting and sending it then confront him id be getting a divorce
Drop that shit! Not worth it
Evidence hun. Get it!
If he’s not fcking you, he’s fcking someone else.
Cheating starts with a conversation just like that, even if it hasn’t escalated to physically cheating. You need to have a long conversation with him. Having an intimate connection is so very important in a relationship. You must find out what’s broken and if it can be repaired.
Good luck with everything. I stayed in a loveless marriage for my child’s sake for far too long. I really wish you the best!
Be very smart about this. He is a loser and probably having an affair or has had several. Find someone you can confide in that you trust. Have a plan. But first get a lawyer OUT OF TOWN. They have a little club and you need someone that is not a member of his club. You and your baby are number one in this. He has a good job, and you deserve to be able to take care of your child and yourself. Call PATH and see if they have an organization you can contact. Whatever you do, tell him nothing about your concerns/suspicions.
Screenshot those texts.
He won’t have a leg to stand on.
I don’t know about anyone else… but I took this as he’s talking to another dude… like he’s gay. 
He can’t take your kid away. He’s cheating so either confront him to fix it or gather the evidence, confront him, ask for a divorce and use the evidence if necessary.
Girl, I’m praying for you🖤
Honestly sounds like his is going else where. This might just be one you found. I’m sorry. Get everything together. Then comfort him. And if need be a lawyer. Maybe even a lawyer first to give everything to as a safe keeper. Just in case.
*Kick him in his teeth
Best of luck sweet heart 
I definitely agree to the screenshotting and saving everything just in case but if you are afraid to bring this specific conversation up then I would put it in a different matter. Maybe bring up that you have noticed the relationship has turned to more of a roommate situation and don’t want to hold you both back from being happy by staying in the marriage. Discuss either trying to work on things more or filing for divorce and co parenting together. That way you aren’t put in the position of confrontation but you both can still have a conversation about a situation that will probably be coming to a head in the future if not discussed anyways. If for any reason it turns bad you have screenshots for adultery which in most states will automatically qualify for a speedy divorce.
Honey you are the mother . If your priorities are in order with or without him the most he can do is get split custody. So I really hope you aren’t depending on how for a living. Or if so get it together now behind his back and if you decide to leave you won’t have to worry about losing your son 
first and foremost!!! On the other note, seems like things are dying out he’s losing interest and looking. Shame on that other married woman. They could definitely be plotting on leaving you guys for each other I’ve seen it happen. But karma is a mf. You deserve better. But definitely communicate first and tell him how it is. I SAW THE MESSAGES MF! Just like that 
wish you the best. 
Danielle Fox is right on. Take her advice immediately. One caveat; once you inform him that you know what he had been up to, no matter the degree of severity, in order to file for divorce successfully and fault free, you have to demonstrate you did what you could to preserve the marriage. My bet is that a judge would call this just irreconcilable differences and that’s that. If you want 100% custody, you need to lay as low as possible safely and continue your detective work. You may find that he is reaching out for attention with cyber affection and not physical attention. As your relationship degrades, that will change. On the other hand, you both could get past the all too difficult seven year mark and into a more perfect union. All just from my own experiences, I’m not a lawyer. Many blessings to you and do everything you can to be safe.
lawyers are awful cheaters think can get away with shit because I’m A LAWYER SO WHAT F THAT
Don’t let the fact he is a lawyer intimidate you. You gave birth to your son so don’t even think that he would take a him. That would cramp his style for a start. If u don’t want confrontation can you talk to a good friend parent or go and get some legal advice. Don’t let him bully you. We all here if you need to talk.
Get those text. And email them to yourself and put on a thumbdrive. That way if found on your phone. You still have them somewhere saved. Wait to make your move whatever it is. Know you are ready for whatever.
Sounds like the 7 yr itch 
. What ever you do DONT 
or act desperate. And what ever you do don’t contact the other woman. Sounds like you never had a real marriage in his so get your $$ together start moving stuff that’s real personal to parents or friends house. Never forget he’s an attorney and When he hears divorce which he is already probably preparing for ( that’s why he’s so secret) he’s
gonna treat you like a client. Get a good plan together before you tell him anything!!! Good luck 
Ok personally speaking if a man is married and not having sex with his wife then he obviously is getting it somewhere else. Also if you found messages I would confront him in a non accusing way to try to talk things out and find out if he is really cheating. There is a very slight chance something else could be going on. Talk first, see if he lies about the messages, see what he has to say. But the second he lies about the messages I would go farther like starting the process of a divorce.
Who said it was a woman? She said friend. Im thinking he’s gay and using you and your son as his cover - the image of a nice family man. Nothing wrong with being gay, just come out and make life better for all. He can’t take your kids unless he has PROOF you’ve been abusive, neglectful or abandoned them.
I would encourage you to talk to two people. One a counselor that can help you process not just the last few years but certainly what you may be facing. And seconfd a good attorney, maybe one in the next town that isn’t a friend or colleague of your husband. Find out what your options and rights are. Your husband is an attorney and likely has the connections and finances to come out smelling like a rose if things go south. Not fair but vey possible. You didn’t say anything about abuse but in unsafe situations it’s encouraged for a women to have a safety plan. Copies of important papers, social security cards birth certificates, his as well. Bank statement, phone numbers etc. If you needed to get away in a hurry do you have a safe place to go? Maybe begin by putting some money aside here and there. Most important take care of yourself.
I’m sorry I would secretly look into your options, it hurts all red flags are there. Look into what your state does for divorce or separation. Don’t let him know anything. Most likely you’ll get your child.
Beat his ass for not being a man and not sayin he’s unhappy and putting you through hell. I’m sorry but mine did that shit and the moment I was stable enough I kicked his lyin ass out my house and moved on. No one deserves to live with someone like that
Those texts are adultery. Send those to yourself. Start saving and looking now for a lawyer, a two bedroom apartment and anything else you may need to leave. Just because he’s a lawyer doesn’t mean he’s the best or specializes in family court.
I’d screenshot the messages send it to myself, post it on facebook. Tag him, her, her husband. Both their parents. Their whole family. Change the locks before I do, then eat some popcorn on my couch, and watch the whole thing unfold.
Thats just me tho.
Mention positions and things they discussed in the text messages. As if you are bringing them up yourself …
Screen shots and printouts yes but stop being worried about confrontation and do it already b4 there’s no chance of saving your marriage at all and if you’re worried about him taking child because you don’t have a income go get a job. You state your solution right after you state your problem your just to afraid of a possible change and that’s no good for anyone, may seem harsh but sometimes it just seems that way because you know it’s the truth hun
Get your ducks in order before you confront him. I’m sure he is already got his ducks in order!
Once a year sex he is def sleeping with someone and talking to who knows who. Make a plan and get the hell out of there
If you want to really stick it to them… If/when you decide to leave you can also talk to your lawyer about alienation of affection and sue the mistress…
In your case all I can say is keep your cool and document everything take pics of the texts and save dates and times . Then save and plan .
Protect yourself, collect evidence first, get your money together untraceable, gift cards, visa gift cards and cash. put it where he would never find it. Then make sure if you do file for divorce, file on Adultery and being that he’s a lawyer, make sure it’s a Great lawyer and someone he doesn’t know. Do your detective work and make sure you have all the evidence you need.
I would screenshot and send it to myself for down the road purposes. I have to say…it’s very unlikely that he’s being faithful as is. I would dig more before you have a conversation so you have more leverage. Don’t be caught off guard. Research. Calls. Text. Etc. it’s not normal for any man to go this long without any interaction. Don’t sell yourself short just because he’s a lawyer. He’s unfaithful.
If I was in your shoes, I’d confront him. I’d express to him that you’re not OK with his lack of communication and no interest in sex. I’d see what he says, see if he’s willing to work on the marriage and improving communication and sex life. If not, I’d look into options of divorce and custody arrangements and such.
Keep a record of his cheating and kick him to the curb.
Save the texts and confront him so sorry your going through this let us know if anything else happens !!!
You know the answer and what is going on, admit it… now, he cannot take your child unless you are a bad parent or have addiction issues… You need to go to a lawyer FIRST !!! Do not even confront him yet, talking in that matter with another female other than you IS cheating!!! Find your self respect and get things set up with a lawyer first! Then confront him, seeing a lawyer first and knowing where you stand if a divorce is imminent will give you courage and peace of mind going into it…
Girrlll I would beat his ASS
Talk to a women’s center & get all your ducks in a row. Get a P.O. Box. Stash important papers or copies someplace safe (safe deposit box, friend’s house). Move what $$ you can unobtrusively. Stash clothes, supplies for you and baby at a safe house in case you have to run for it (but I sincerely hope you don’t). Talk to a lawyer hubby doesn’t know & get all mail pertaining to divorce sent to the P.O. Box. Look into jobs & get one after the divorce unless you can live on what you get in the divorce settlement. Save and borrow $$ for the lawyer (will likely cost you up to $10,000). Know all your options before making a move. Women’s center near me had great info for financial, legal, emotional & safety planning for separation and divorce. Get a support system of friends and family (don’t tell them you’re even thinking of divorce unless you are absolutely, positively sure they won’t say anything to anyone about it). You should go to a marriage counselor who can cut through the crap of bad communication on both sides to see if there’s anything worth saving and find out what’s wrong. I was prepared for a big fight with both my exes, but they just were sad & went with things. Who knows, he might be relieved you want a divorce?
Private investigator. Have your proof and peace of mind. As far as him taking your son I don’t know where you live but the standard where I live is 50/50 except in extreme cases. I would also keep a very detailed log of dates and times. Or a daily journal of your activity with your son and your husbands behavior. Just to cover your self in case of custody issues and an extramarital affair.
Stay and get as much DOCUMENTED EVIDENCE of his infidelity as you can. That is the only saving grace you will have. Make sure you are prepared to show you can house and support your child without his help. Once you have prepared then find an attorney in another area and go talk to them. They listen and advise for free most of the time. He will try to take your son but you need to leave. Prepare as best you can before doing so.
He is likely getting it regularly else where, prob not this chick he is texting, likely someone in the law firm. He is a dog! Just bc he is a lawyer doesnt mean he will get your son. You will as long as your not an addict. Take pics of these texts w your phone. Then, put a lock code on ur phone. You NEED to get rid of this fool.
Check his bank statement and his credit card statements. Could be hotels, gifts etc…
You need to be brave and hit it head on