I really want to be a gentle parent but i was not raised this way…i am trying to unlearn everything that i was taight growing up…my baby is only 4 months now but what should i know about gentle parenting? how do i begin/react and control my own emotions?
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The fact you asked is the best positive step. Read books. Do yoga or meditation or walks in the park … with your baby too. Breathe deeply. Learn your triggers. You got this !!!
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I took a parenting class as a teen mom years ago that gave us for to dots for the fridge for our time outs. Remember to take time to think through the emotional times before responding. It prevents not just beatings but words you can’t take back. Do your best. That’s all any of us can do. It’s a huge plus that you see what your parents did wrong and aspire to be better. 
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Take some parenting classes
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Not to sound harsh, but maybe some counseling with a family counselor. … also local hospitals offers a wide range of parenting classes & other classes… even some churches as well. … also check local vocational schools(they offer adult classes), . Your Dr. May have recommendations for you for classes as well… your local health department and /or local job & family services could help you with this as well . They are there to help
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It’s hard not to get frustrated. If you do put the baby down somewhere safe and breath. Take a break. It’s ok to need a break
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Look for parenting classes or books on parenting. I agree with Gail Kiely , yoga or meditation helps a lot.
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I try and do the same but when I slip I have a convo later and apologize and let child know I was wrong and that I am trying to be better. It’s hard. Sometimes you’ll hate yourself but always remember that your trying and it’s not easy at all.
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You want to be the parent that you didn’t have growing up. Be who you needed as a child. Keep that mindset and it’ll be easy.
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Look into the Montessori way
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When you get upset with the little one…take a deep breath in through your nose, hold ir for 4 seconds then blow it out through your mouth to the count of 4. Do this 5 times in a row. This will help you calm down and try to see what ever happened through the little ones eyes and brain. Remember they learn from you, so be patient and remember they probly don’t know ant better.
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Stop, breathe and compose yourself and get your words in order even if you have to go outside for a minute away from the situation as long as the kids are safe alone for that minute— gates in place, doors closed, stove off, etc.
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You are so lucky to be a new parent now. There is so much more written on raising children now than when I was a new parent in 1959. We had Dr. Spock.
Jothemama great information
Take a step back, breathe, calm down, think before you speak or react. Think about the message or lesson you are trying to explain to your child(ren). Think about how you want them to feel and react when they receive this message. Sometimes it’s a good idea to imagine how you would feel in their shoes, and how you would want to be treated in that situation. Also, setting up expectations, rules, and consequences ahead of time, and consistently following through with everything is important. You don’t need to be their friend, just be a firm and fair parent. 
It’s. So. Freaking. Hard.
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Find an individual therapist who specializes in dbt. Learn about and practice emotion management skills before deciding to try being a parent.
l Get paid over $127 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18621 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Search for books on the subject , and it seems like not the answer to your question, but get therapy. Work on yourself first, make sure how you react to conflict is healthy with everyone in your life
l Get paid over $127 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18621 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Go to This. https://DollarWorth150.pages.dev/
I used to put myself in time out for 15 seconds then go back and deal with my children. I never raised a hand to them growing up is a learning experience
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You begin by seeing a therepist and getting professional advice on how to target your own emotions and triggers of your childhood. Then you go to some parenting classes and learn as much as you can. It really starts with healing your inner child.
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I think being around someone who is a good example helps. I worked in child care and I was literally taught how to be with children and it helped me be more nice at home.
Take deep breaths… walk outside…call a friend if you feel angry
…or sad…you will make mistakes as a parent…we all do…so it will be ok.listen tousic if you feel overwhelmed. Keep life simple
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Start with learning basic child development milestones so that you have realistic expectations of your child, and practice self-regulation techniques (deep breaths, counting) when you start feeling frustrated… basically the same techniques to diffuse a tantrum you’re going to want to do on yourself. This group isn’t the best for gentle parenting advice though, so I’d recommend joining
Gentle Parents Unite
Some good books: Whole Brain Child, Raising Good Humans, Peaceful Parent Happy Kids.
I went through trauma growing up! I have two beautiful boys now and your past doesn’t define you make sure you put your self in support groups or have good people to guide you hang out or talk - and Patience is the key - sometimes you will need to step out of the room you will be fine love and positivity your way! You got this your past made you stronger telling you made me be a better momma give the love and life to my kids I didn’t have always! Your babies smile and laugh will give you encouragement I promise! As parents we don’t really know we just live and learn and strive to be better! 
my kids gave me purpose and your baby will too 
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Kill your ego. From there you look at things from where they are at and work from that angle using your life experiences, compassion and understanding to show and teach them better. At the same time realize you too may learn something from them as well.
See your child as an autonomous human being that has their own needs, wants, and emotions. Don’t take everything they do personally. And lead with love:purple_heart:
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Just here for the advice. I struggle with controlling my own reactions to things sometimes. I have to consciously remind myself they are little and learning. I am supposed to teach them what and why and the reasons and things at her level rather than at my level and it’s ROUGH.
I was raised quite the opposite as well which is why it was important to me to not repeat that, so for me its a lot of understanding and empathy for my kids. They’re new people who have to learn everything, have to learn their emotions, they’re dealing with a lot and honestly probably just need some attention or a hug and its over with without all the drama. But a lot of that came from me navigating my own trauma recovery so I’m a better human for my kids and we all benefit from it. There’s no one way but seeking a professional could help you talk through your insecurities about it now that you have a baby. Good luck 
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There is no perfect parent so do the best that you can and if you need some guidance you can ask someone and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it
There are quite a few pages you can follow such as Peace and Parenting. They have good posts
Take it day by day mama 
Coming from a similar background, it’s hard to embed something that wasn’t embedded into you when you needed it most - and some days, you may feel like a failure, but mama, you are far from it 
You are everything this soul needs in life, so always remember that you need too nurture your inner child just as much - she’s learning, she’s growing and she’s going to do amazing things in life be gentle with yourself as well mama xx
Get therapy.
Read some books.
Find some awesome accounts on tiktok.
Be patient with yourself.