I truly pray that yous fine the right help for him.i feel for your mom and what she’s going thru.but for sure seek professional help asap.depression is nasty and he definitely needs help.i wish you’s all the best in your search to seek help for him.
He may need an antidepressant. It’s harder to do things that seem so basic when my depression and it turns into a bad cycle. He will feel better after a shower but getting in is sometimes hard. I turn the shower and and just get in when I go pee first thing in the morning
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I get that way sometimes and it is depressing and it seems like such a big deal to get in the shower. Set him down tell him yall love him and if he doesnt take care of himself like he should you will greatly be disappointed. Make him do it. A few days is okay but any longer of a period and he could get sick from skin infections ect.
Buy him some rinseless shampoo. You spray it on like hair spray and rub it in. They have body wash like that too. Its for dementia patients. Praying
Soooooo he said he was depressed… so let’s find out why… let’s get him some counseling…
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I think you need to take him to see his doctor … because he needs to have access to counseling. Depression is nothing to mess around with in teens. It’s an awkward time, but add other issues like the autism, and it can really be a hurdle for him to try to overcome. Kids at that age can be brutally mean to each other … teasing and picking at imperfections, etc. When self confidence or self esteem is low, it can make him a target.
He needs to know he is loved & valued as a person. He needs to know he is not alone in his struggles. He needs to have a safe place to land, where he isn’t judged. He needs encouragement. He needs counseling, and possibly medications … although I’m not a big fan of medications, but sometimes they are needed and helpful.
He’s reaching out to you for help when he tells you he’s depressed. He’s reaching out for help when he doesn’t respect himself enough to maintain his personal hygiene, or to want to interact with others. Yes, it might be sensory issues, but all the same, he’s struggling with it. Please make an appointment with his doctor.
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He needs treatment for his depression that will help him a lot. Depressed people find simple tasks like basic grooming to be overwhelming so they don’t do it.
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You guys need to learn more about autistic people and how to handle certain situations because all of the things you’re describing sound horrifying for him. Join Autism Inclusivity to learn more and I would really urge you and your mother to unlearn all of the behavior you’ve been using with your brother my heart breaks for him.
…counseling cuz that’s gonna make him real sick
I doubt this has anything to do with his ASD, although it won’t be helping. ASD is a range (spectrum) of disorders, not a lower or higher thing. He sounds like he needs a lot of support to get out of bed at all right now. He sounds like he has really bad depression which can come out as anxiety, social exhaustion and shut down. He might need a day to himself in his room to get over an hour with people right now. The effort required to wash is huge and being wet can be a real strain on the senses. Try to communicate as non-verbally as possible and encourage him to go and have a shower. Offer to get it set up, get his towel or robe ready and then slowly encourage him to have a shower. Start by getting him to sit up. The point is that he can’t function like everyone else and expecting him to with use up all the energy he has and be totally depressing. Help him understand that he is different but with support he can lead the life he wants. Social Services may get involved but as long as your Mam is providing access to soap and water, you can tell them you do not feel they can provide effect support (politely tell them to stuff it).
Take him to the doctor if he says he’s depressed, believe it. They can discuss therapies as well as medication. All types of depressed people forgo basic hygiene standards. He needs some health help with mental work, hopefully the rest falls into place.
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My boy is the same way. It’s a sensory issue. Have him try new ways till something feels right. My son says he can feel and hear the bubbles on his skin. Do your research on helping autistic people and hygiene. What works with one doesn’t work with another
The fact that hè is depressed needs far more attention. You need to get this kid help!
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A bath nurse is what they do for my niece who is autistic
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Visual aids to go in the bathroom to follow like, brushing teeth washing face etc then also one for in the shower.
Let him pick shower gel shampoo?
Tbh I’d work on probably one day a week so it’s not overwhelming, like every Sunday. Don’t bring it up all the time.
It’s quite common for teenagers with autism to regress so to go back to basics with things that helped when younger can help build healthy routines around hygiene. Having routine boards can help simplify tasks that can feel overwhelming.
Buying a shaver to shave his whole head if that’s what he wants you can do that yourselves at home?
Maybe it’s time for professional help
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He needs to treat his depression and anxiety about these things first. Get him with a mental health doctor.
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Treat the depression. He told you that’s what it is and he’s right. That’s exactly what it is. He needs a psychiatrist.
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There are tricks to it. Pouring on the sugar doesn’t always work. Sometimes Doctors need to get involved " sedatives " knew of a person that never did hygiene and it was so bad it would clear a room. This will probably get alot of negative responses but until you’ve been there, you have NO Idea. So, chocolate looks like? Yep you guessed it. Smeared some on and this person was more that willing to bathe.
Think outside the box get creative. Used Fart in a can once:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: Not on the person, but to help them identify what they smell like to others. A nice trip to the pig farm helps to 
. But then everyone needs a shower. Hygiene is important and there are more ways than you know to get the point across and or tbe job done.
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Try small
Is he okay washing hands
Maybe use a bowl with very little water and use a soap of a smell he enjoys
Or is it the removing of clothes that’s an issue? Maybe shower with clothes on or if it’s a tub try taking a bath
Or maybe just have him dip his feet in the tub and massage them
Talk to his dr
I know it’s embarrassing but if it’s a specialist with autism than I’m sure they understand the hygiene issues and they might have suggestions
His drs are there to help you just need to ask for help
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You need to takehim for professional help and it will benefit all o you. There are so many resources. Maybe it’s the noise the shower. Tell him keeping those germs on you keeps that icky feeling there
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Show him info on hygiene. My little brother is also autistic and a teenager. He doesn’t like to shower or clip his nails or anything of the sort. We started showing him gross images of infections and such of people who didn’t take care of themselves and it seemed to help. I know it might sound traumatizing but sometimes that’s what it takes… also maybe print out some hygiene tips and hang them in the bathroom or his bedroom. It might not seem like much but day after day he will see it and think about it more and more. It’s mind over matter. You gotta get into his head.
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Sensory issues are incredibly painful. What is the sensory prep you do ahead of time, during, and after bathing?
If the wipes and dry bathing products aren’t working, it may not hurt to check for metabolic disorders.
You can do a genetic test to see what depression meds he would respond best to.
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My son is the same. He’s 10 with level 2-3 so I get this, I let him control how he likes things. He prob hates water, both my son and I are like this badly too. Sometimes it takes a month to get my son to go in the bath but he does. Talk to him and ask him if it’s the water feel. Not sure if your able to msg privately but if able msg and I can give some pointers
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Find a specialist inphyschologist in autsm that can guide him and your family.
Let a health care professional talk to him
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Get him help for depression, that is common with depression and it does get worse as you get older with no help.
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Dry shampoo for hair. Maybe just a rag and pan of soapy water. Whatever works for him.
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Its very stimulating in the shower, there’s a lot of sounds and feelings and smells with a lot of steps for every aspect of the shower. So maybe one day wash hair few days later wash body, it’s what I have to do. Wednesday and Friday I wash my hair and body, the rest of the days it’s just body so I don’t lose my ever loving shit with all the stimulating things in there.
Elaine Meyers any suggestions??
ask him what he wants - if shes embarrassed to take him out tell him she wont until hes clean
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You need professional guidance
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Um have you tried actually taking him to the doctor ? 
That will probably undoubtedly help
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Does he like to swim? Take him swimming.
Have you thought about taking him swimming? I know that really isn’t a win to this battle, but seeing how he is in water may give you an idea of what the problem is. The water coming down over his head in the shower may be a sensory thing with him. Many prayers to you and your mom.
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Showers have a lot of sensory input.
•Textures of wash cloths/towels
•Sound of the water hitting the tub
•Temperature changes in/out of the tub
•Fear of water being too hot/too cold
•Slimy feel of soaps
•Soaps have a strong smell
•Small,confined space of the shower
Maybe the shower stresses him out?
Maybe figuring out what stresses him about the shower may help?
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Sounds like you’ve tried everything but treating the problem…. If he’s depressed you should be speaking with a medical professional about getting him help for said depression
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My 12 year old is hard to get to shower n bath I took him into lush shop and had look round he pick his own bath bombs and so squidgy soaps he has now had 2 very long baths after me going on and on at him and after I said how was your bath he said amazing he also asked if he can use a bit of my fresh face mask
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It is kind of normal. My two oldest grands were "shower phobic " at that age. Give itvtime.
he needs more help than you can give him, he needs someone that works with helping people on the spectrum & can guide him better… but your man getting upset with him isn’t helpful, probably more harmful tbh…
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Ask him to go swimming at a heated pool and then maybe a spa as well .I know this is not a solution but it could be a start
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Power hose the smelly Sket 
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Raising my 16 year old autistic brother. He’s the same. Take him to the Dr. let everyone involved in his care know! That covers you! You can’t force a patient to bathe. They have a right to refuse. I’m also a nurse. Seek out medical help.
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My grandpa literally took a hose to my sister. In the house too. She still has bad hygiene and has even lost jobs because of it. She’s ruined furniture because she’s even too lazy to get up and use the bathroom or change her period products.
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Please don’t lock him anywhere i know its frustrating but you need to seek help does he get any support out side of the family ?
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Try the bath for him he might hate water running down his body where in a bath you can sit in the water n not have it run down ur body like a shower n the noise from the shower have you tried relaxation music in bath while he is in there
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See a doctor, don’t take him to a public pool because that would be unsanitary…
Have a doctor or therapist talk to him.
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Go to this site Redirecting...
Ask for there help, they are autistics who help answer questions
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Please don’t lock him anywhere, you need to try your best and find some support. 
it’s not his fault.
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I have autism myself and I’d be horrified if someone locked me in a room. Please don’t do that
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Hello! Have you tried setting up a rewards system? Like if he showers at least 3 times a week. Then he gets something he likes? I worked with mentally disabled adults. We had one that refused to shower and it was bad. So we made a plan where if he wanted to go out and get items he wanted then he needed to shower every other day at least. And then we explained to him why. Like people do not like it when others smell around them your friends won’t want to come around him. His roommates will start to not like to sit near him. Stuff like that. It wasn’t a cure over night but it certainly helped in the long run.
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I think u and ur mom should speak to his doctor and his therapists. The both of u have already tried everything else.
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So, I’m not sure if this would work and as a disclaimer: my brother isn’t on the spectrum. He’s an adult now and has changed a lot since his teenage years, as to be expected. But when he hit the preteen stage. I don’t think he realized the smell of his sweat was very strong at first in his defense. But he had a smell too. As children we showered every other day as long as we weren’t filthy but once the preteen years come, showering every day is definitely preferable and encouraged lol. So, to get him to do it. We used girls as the motive. I know that probably sounds terrible. But we knew he was becoming interested in girls. So, we told him that girls like guys who smell good. He became very motivated after that lol. I don’t know if you want to try this. But it worked well at our house. 
Hope this helps or at least gave you a good laugh.
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Does he have a visual schedule? That’s usually how I start with routine. Let him go pick out his hygiene stuff as well. U can also use reward systems and when it’s part of routine I put the fun stuff after the stuff needed. Make sure not to yell or seem stressed out or that could escalate the situation.
Water with Autism is a huge thing either they love it or hate it
Get him a shower cap and lay it all out like you would a younger child tell him he can wear the shower cap so he dosnt have to feel the water hitting his head and help him wash it in the sink or over the tub later
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Is he working with an autism therapist? That could really help him!
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Have a therapist help and also that way it shows your working with him. Depression is hard to work with. I take m6 granddaughter to one and it’s helping good luck
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A therapist needs to be brought in (if it hasn’t been done yet). My sister (not autistic) went through a phase when she was like 8 where she wouldn’t shower, then when we would get her in the shower we couldn’t get her out (it was a laziness thing because she actually liked to shower but would rather do other things). Maybe he needs his pediatrician to explain to him what kinds of bacteria grows on the body when we don’t shower and how bad it is for us to not shower. I’m only suggesting this because you said he’s a high functioning autistic teen. If he understands it, it may do him good.
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I think is time for therapy
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Maybe figure a way that suits him that isn’t the norm. My daughter hate water over her head but can handle it one stream on her hand and over her body by her own doing.
Go to local GP & get help "
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Special needs mama and special needs teacher for years! A visual schedule with pictures is a good one
A sentence strip with 1-2 task and then have him pick a reward to choose from iPad time, tv time, outside time etc, a visual timer is a good tool as well
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He’s depressed? He needs therapy and meds. Get him help!
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What happened to the first 14 years???where were you???
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I would recommend sticking to same routine schedule and every time he does anything positive, appraise him (say good job! Wow, you smell real good! Your hair looks amazing! Etc) then try offer a reward every progress he makes. (Get a calendar and stickers with stars and show that he did well to earn his reward of his preference items or food). If he is not doing anything positive, try use alternate such as instead of saying wow you are bad, you smell, you must take a shower. (Say oh do you want some new/fresh clothes)(would you want to choose other clothes?)(do you want a new cologne?) (do you prefer a bath?) (maybe try a pool outside? Offer a bubble bath?) try to see what his preferences are and then reward for good behaviors.
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Sit him down and talk to him is he getting bullied at school if he’s depressed and maybe take him to the beach at least than he’ll have to have a shower but that’s my opinion but yes sit him down and just talk and listen to him because something is going on that he might just want to talk about it with someone
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Could the hospital have sedated him and cleaned him up. Since they noted it as a concern?
Talk to the doctor maybe he can prescribe a mild anti depressant which can be put in his food and when he starts to feel less depressed he may be a little more able to accept there is a problem. Maybe by using magazines direct him to different styles of clothing and if he finds something interesting tell him you can go to the store to buy for him and let him know that a condition of going to store is to have a wash…
Does he like swimming maybe 
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If he is saying hes depressed then he Def needs to see a therapist and soon. That would be the best place to start. Find a therapist who’s specializes in autism. You can also join some groups etc on fb or have your therapist recommend some groups for ideas or just have someone to speak to that understands what you are going through
Go swimming! Not a fix but will help in the moment. Seek help for autistic teens with depression. They will help getting him where he needs to be and hopefully back on track!
First thing first
He needs to t be hospitalized so that he can be treated properly for the depression and then a regular segment of the proper medication can help him to get back to normal and be more manageable
And a therapist would also help
try music soft or old school
Talk to him like he’s a real person and find out what it is about those things that bother him. It may be a sensory issue! It may be a executive function issue. I highly suggest joining the groups Autism Inclusivity and Autistics Worldwide
Try to find something that bring him joy in the tub, even if it him being fully clothed with goggles to wash his hair. You can get colored crayons in the tub for him to color the wall while you wash him, there’s also color bubbles bath work great as well. Be definitely get him help for his depression best of luck 
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Maybe speaking to a psychiatrist that specializes in dealing with autistic children. I’m sure this is not the first time a person has refused to bathe so there has to be a professional who might have some insight. I hope you all get the support you need 
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Two suggestions: first, get him seen and treated for the depression. Second, have an older teen or a young man talk to him. I hope you find a solution.