I’ve been on and off with my daughters dad for about 3 years… it hasn’t been a good relationship at all… just feel like I don’t love him anymore and don’t feel happy with him but scared to say anything cause he screams and yells about everything and goes nuts and makes it feel like I can’t get away… any tips? Thank you!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to get away from my relationship without drama
Run away far and fast. It’s not gonna change as your daughter grows up do you want her thinking this is normal?
You being afraid to communicate with him about it says it’s unhealthy. If you already have a place to go, go. Don’t say anything until you’re separated from him and tell him when he’s ready to calm down so that the two of you can work out a custody agreement and a parenting plan, you’ll talk. Your daughter doesn’t need to be exposed to the arguing and the drama. She needs to see both of her parents working together.
You can’t just runnnnn
Go to a friend or family members house. Preferably one he doesnt know the location to.
Leave when he’s not home and don’t look back
You and your daughter can go to a local safe house. You’ll have to look it up. Explain your situation and then pack some things and leave.( if they have room for you) He won’t be able to contact you or find you. I was going to do this but I built the courage up and finally left. Or you could write him a letter and leave? That was he can’t scream at you. It’s hard I know. Took me 2 letters, an arrest, and multiple other things to leave. All over the course of 3 years. The sooner the better though. I always regret not leaving sooner.
Call your local legal aid - get advice & a lawyer-- call someone you trust &run before he gets physical. Protect your child
His screaming is a manipulative tactic. If he screams at you you feel like you did something bad & he ends up getting his way. Try to talk to him in public with a friend or relative near by who is “no-nonsense” & will wisk you away if it gets heated. Tell him it’s over & leave. Don’t take his calls. Don’t tell him where you moved to. Keep all texts & voicemails. Keep conservations to only your daughter. If he starts yelling at you in text about anything else don’t respond. He will use your daughter to get to you. Don’t allow visits until it’s established in court. Let him take you to court. I wouldn’t even go after him for child support unless you’re required to do so or he files for visits. It’s not worth it.
Oof run. Far far away. Boundaries and assistance from domestic abuse organizations.
Sometimes its better to not say anything and just move out. And then once you are gone address him. At that point its not gonna matter what he says because you will already be free
Don’t tell him just leave.
You need to contact a lawyer first, a woman shelter too
I got back to my country, left everything. He even bought the tickets so he was ok with it even he served me divorce papers. His actions are loud you need to listen. My husband was giving money to other woman even before we left and has manipulating everything. This woman is sleeping in the bed i picked, even using my daughters furniture with hers, no respect at all
Protect yourself and your daughter. You can do it. We can do it
Have your parents or a friend babysit your daughter for the evening. If you live with him pack some or all of her things and yours. Go somewhere public and break up with him. Have someone (the police if you have to) accompany you to get your things and stay with your parents or friend.
Leave while he’s gone and if you’re feeling nice, leave a note.
If you are scared you need to find a way and get out.today.
Pack your bags and hers leave while he’s at work go to a friend’s place that he doesn’t know
U got just make up ur mind and leave
If you’re this scared of him now then how will you feel on the weekends he has your daughter for his visitation time?
Plan a way to save yourself and your daughter from this drama save yourself
They make you feel like you can’t get away, so you don’t attempt to leave. Leave. Don’t say it to him. Just do what you gotta do and leave.
Your relationship status with him is imaterial to what you need to do to protect your child from imprinting on his behavior as normal, at best she will grow up in denial that it happened, but its far more likely she will either be gunshy of long term relationships or she will allow her and her children to be treated like he’s treating you now, protect your childs future
Leave, don’t worry about the drama you can’t control if it’s going to happen.
Do what’s best for you and your daughter
Get a plan in place … work, housing (shelter or family or friends) and then just leave. Don’t tell him before hand.
Leave ANYWAY!! It’s all manipulation. He knows if he acts a fool that you will stay! Leave ANYWAY!!
Make a plan and move in silence. Best thing for you and your daughter!
Honestly… let him throw his fit and leave. Just be sure you and kiddo are safe. If you have to get a restraining order, then so be it. It’s not worth it to stay in a relationship if it’s not going anywhere and you’re miserable.
Dont tell him your leaving then. Lowkey packup essential stuff you and your kid needs and leave. Get a restraining order against him. Contact a lawyer, get sole custody of your child and make it enforceable, and get child support with help with child care and extracurricular activities.
And the biggest hardest thing to do, dont ever go back, and dont talk to him. Go through your lawyer. If he calls, dont answer, if he texts, dont respond, same with email and inboxes. But keep everything, screen shot of stuff he sends you, voice mails, and give them to your lawyer. Some men get very dangerous when a woman leaves them, and he sounds like one. So stick to your guns and leave.
If he’s not willing to talk to you about it without screaming and yelling get yourself a plan so you can get away from him
Pack your things in secret, go somewhere preferably he won’t think of till he can calm down if he flips and just go. Don’t say anything you don’t have to warn him just leave.
It’s called verbal and mental abuse. Seek a women’s shelter or advocate group for counseling in your area and most have resources to help you get out safely.
The only way to leave drama free is to leave when he’s gone. Don’t talk to him first. If he screams and yells at you normally it will be worse if you’re packing up. He could hurt you, your daughter or both. Speaking from experience this is the only way. Good luck
Save your kids from thinking this is how a relationship should be. Plan your escape while hes out of the house.
Going to have drama regardless. Just leave.
Pack everything you possibly can while he is gone and leave. Don’t let him know where you are and turn off location on your phone and all apps. Turn it off on kids phones and all devices too. Get a restraining order asap when you leave. Make arrangements to have a court liason exchange kids if he gets visitation.
Pack in secret, either when he’s asleep or at work. Call a woman’s shelter and have them be ready for you. Gather important documents as IDs, birth certificate, social security cards.
If the shelter says there’s no room ask for a transfer for a different location. Let at least one family or friend know what you’re dealing with in case things escalate. If he wants custody of your kid you need to start documenting the violence in secret. Videos or record whatever he’s yelling. It’s going to help you have less contact with him until he gets help in anger management and request supervised visitation until he has control of his anger. Restraining orders help. Shelters will have resources for you. Food stamps, rent relief, public assistance until you can get your own place and land on your feet. Document everything and send them to your email in case your phone breaks.
Quietly leave. It’s possible. Best of luck to you
If he works or has any commitments you should take that small window and pack as much as you can and leave
He’s controlling you. It’s called Mind Fuckery.
You need a strong support system. People you can trust. Careful who you choose, he’s got his flying monkeys ready. He’s projected everything he’s doing to you on to them. So you look crazy!
It’s a terrible way to live.
I hope you find a way to walk away.
Join a Narcissist group for women.
Your not crazy. Lazy.or useless.
Following. I’m in the same exact position as you but with my 3y.o and newborn. We need to get away
Just pack your things and leave.
Take that kid and move as far away as possible