Fan Question
Karen🍒
Hi everyone!
I have two children. A 4 year old daughter and a 4 month old son. We are living in a 2 bedroom 600sqft house. I recently sleep trained my son and he’s doing great in his crib with one night time feed around 4:30. Here’s the issue… I do not sleep well with him in the crib. I sleep much better bedsharing. I wake up for every noise, every movement. (he sleeps in a crib almost next to my bed because my room is so tiny) I really want to put him in my daughters room to see how it goes and hopefully get a bit more sleep. (her bedroom is directly across the hall and we both sleep with our door open. I can see her on her bed from my bed) She’s a very heavy sleeper. I know she won’t wake up from my son whining at 4:30. She doesn’t even wake up from the dog having a bark attack… A hurricane could be going on an she won’t wake up.
The issue… Is my husband. He is very against our children sharing a room and is planning on adding on another bedroom to our house. He says it’s because it’s not fair to our daughter. I personally think it’s because he was the youngest of 5 kids and was made to share a room all his life. I also think it may be a little bit of pride… Like, I will “provide for my children” and “give them a better life.” I get it but I’m dying! The thing is… He’s working out of town. He’s been gone two months, probably won’t be back for at least another two… Would you go against your husbands wishes and move the baby in? I’m so tempted to but really wish to hear from moms who grew up with lots of siblings. I shared a room with my sibling growing up and didn’t mind it. He apparently had a different experience. What do you think? If I do it, he’s going to be upset… But once the baby goes in… That’s it, I have to ride out the wave. I don’t want to disrespect him, but I’m basically a single mom.
My husband let’s me make all the major decisions. I ask his thoughts, but ultimately it’s 100% on me and I tell him how I want him to do things with our children. He works long hours so it is what it is. He’s not here enough to be making daily decisions. He’s only expressed an opinion about two things and this was one of them.
Thank you from a tired mama.
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I shared a room with my brother until I was 4 or 5. If it was me I would move the crib.
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With the way he is working when will he find time to add a room on.
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I think that if he was there and dealing with it with you equally than he could have a bigger say but honestly I think you should do what you need to do and once the baby gets older and one the older 1 gets a few years older then give them their own it runs they’re too little for it to really matter
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I get your husband may have his wishes, but it’s you doing the time. Do what works for you! My ex husband used to be in the Navy and away a lot and he’d argue over how I did things +even down to the washing ). End of the day I was the one doing it 24/7 every day of the week and month; it really came down to what works and is easier on me … Or he starts sharing the load which he couldn’t do. He soon came around to my ways.
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U sleep much better bedsharing??? Then why don’t you do that for your 4 month old son ? Seriously 4 months still needs to be closer supervision with Mama. And you can move him out when he is a toddler . There is nothing wrong with sharing a room with siblings, but you need to sacrifice for your husband too , who maybe working so hard for his family needs including the additional of another room . Be grateful it is only for a short period .
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It’s you doing it every night not him so move the baby and get done sleep mama!!
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If he is gone it’s your way however u want what’s easiest for u until he gets back
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I doubt your 4 year old is going to care about her brother sleeping in the same room. Especially since it sounds like he will only be in there when he’s sleeping. I would just tell your husband you understand where he is coming from and once he builds on another room your son can go in there. But in the meantime you need to try this out so you can get sleep and since you are the only one at home at the moment this is how you want to handle the situation.
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Your letting your husband tell you what to do when he’s not around looking after the children… unreal… your looking after then so do what’s best for you
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Do it, you’re the one that has to live it every day and obviously he doesn’t. Do what makes your life easier
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I love bed sharing! It’s saved my sanity so many times. I can’t have my son sleep in a crib because I literally get zero sleep listening for noises and wondering if he’s okay. When he’s beside me I just feel at peace. Do what makes it the easiest 
You’re not “basically” a single mom when you have a husband working and providing for you… That said, if you don’t sleep well with the baby in the crib right next to you, I think moving him further might make it worse…
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Shared a bed room with my sister and brother when we were younger. As we grew up older brother got his own room and us girls still shared for a good while until probably 7th grade. Kids won’t care and would probably be happy about the company tbh! Your husband needs to compromise too since you’re the one with them during their bed time.
It’s legal for them to share a room until ones 5. At least that’s the law where I live.
I loved bedsharing. But i was a single mother so I didn’t have anyone else in my bed with me but my kids. And when kids are little they dont care about sharing a room. The worst that will happen is they wake each other up.
At that age they can share a room and it’s no biggie. Your sleep and health is more important than his pride.
Keep the baby out of your bedroom, the kids can share a room until dad can add the other bedroom. Just saying.
I don’t agree, that’s like saying his opinion doesnt matter. When me and my husband got married he was out of town 3 weeks at a time.
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Your sleep isn’t going to improve if you move your son to another room- it’s kinda the same arrangement you have now. Just bed share for now and once he’s 1 put him with your daughter. Once they’re older they won’t be able to share rooms though- check your state law.
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I always wonder why people think it’s so bad to share rooms. We had 6 kids and I had to share a room and I don’t think sharing rooms is a bad thing. I do think a girl and boy need their space eventually though, so building an extra room would be wonderful. I do not see any harm in putting the youngest in his sisters room temporarily. They’re too young to care right now.
I’d say move him in the.other room. See how it goes. You will be able to tell if it helps you sleep before your hubby gets home. Also why can’t he sleep in the room with his sister til he gets the other room built?
Let him sleep with his sister for X amount of time, then move him to his own room when you’re less stressed about him. When did your daughter transition to her own room?
I would move the baby across the hall. If he is gonna add a room this will only light that fire under his butt to get it done quicker!
He isn’t the one losing sleep it’s not really his decision. He can still build the room but while both your children are young enough to not really remember sharing they can share.
He doesn’t have to deal with the sleep loss. Do what is best for all of you not what he wants
I would do it and I would tell him to suck it up since he isn’t home to deal with any of it.
I’m a military spouse and he is always deployed or gone for weeks/ months at a time. We co-parent even when I solo parent. I always take into consideration his wishes and opinions. Now I will say this I have a 3000 sq ft 5 bedroom house… my 2 year old and 5 year old share, have since they were 9 months and 4 years. It’s not about space for me it’s about mutual respect for one another’s belongings, coexisting with another human being and forming a bond. I’m one of 4 and always shared a room with either my older or younger sister. It never bothered me until I was a teen. But if it’s gonna be temporary until a room is built, I would talk to him again.