Fan Question
-Krista✨
I need advice I CANNOT get my daughter to sleep in her own bed. She has been pretty much co-sleeping with me the whole 9 months of her life (there are a few random good night’s she will stay asleep in her bed). Last night I put her in bed with me in the middle of the night as I usually do so we can both get some sleep and I suppose I was so tired I didn’t feel her crawling around or hear her being awake? I’m not sure but woke up to her crying and she had fell out of the bed (please, I already know it’s my fault and really don’t need anyone’s bashing I feel completely horrible about it) she is ok but I have learned my lesson about letting her sleep with me. I have tried so many different methods. I have tried a modified cry it out method where I don’t let her cry more than a min or 2 cause I can’t stand hearing her scream for me (she cries out for mama), I have tried soothing her then putting her back in her pack and play. The problem is she knows I will come and get her and I think that’s why she cries for me. As soon as I lie her down she starts to scream or cry sometimes she will wait until I leave the room and she hears the door shut to cry. I have experimented with other people putting her down instead of me which seems to help but I am a single mom and most nights it’s just me and her so that’s not always an option. I’ve tried keeping her up a little later then putting her to bed. I just don’t know what else to do. She is just so clingy and wants me to hold her all the time (it is getting better now that she can get around on her own) but nights are just the hardest. Please any advice or things I could try that I already haven’t please let me know. TIA
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Put one of your shirts in her crib with her
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Mine did the same thing and she was about the same age. The trick for me was showing her that I would come when she cried but only to lay her back down. I’d lay her down and tell her I love her. No picking up. The first week was tough for both of us but she learned that I wasn’t picking her up at nighttime then we both slept better
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Sometimes you just have to let them cry. Make sure she is fed and dry when you put her in her crib. I did that with all five of ours and they all started sleeping in their own beds and rooms. The longer you give in, the worse it will be on you both. YOU need rest, too!
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My baby wouldnt sleep in he pack n play . I got a baby bed for her . she sleeps in it most nights . also dont shut the baby room door.
I had the same problem with my son I just picked him up and soothed him and put him back in his crib. Didnt let him on out bed to even play until he was completely transitioned. This went on for about a week and a half I was exhausted but it worked in the end.
Use a bed rail on the side of your bed so she doesn’t fall out. Don’t beat yourself up let her in the bed you both need sleep . Try again when she’s ready for a big girl bed!
When I co slept, I pushed my side of the bed against the wall. You could also put a bed rail at the foot of your bed.
The next option I would suggest is to have her sleep in a pack and play in your room. Maybe next to the bed. Small steps in getting her into her own room. She spent 9 months inside of you, and still needs/wants your closeness. It’s normal for babies to not want to sleep away from you.
Maybe lay down with her in her room until she falls asleep. Idk.
Establish a bedtime routine, one that is clear in saying “it is time for you to go to your room and go to sleep”. Cover all your bases: clean diaper, fully tummy, any meds she may be on, etc. so you know the ONLY reason she’s crying is because she doesn’t like what is happening. Once you put her in her crib, DO NOT GET HER UP. Decide how many minute intervals you’d like to go in there (“I’ll go check on her and comfort her every three minutes”). If she’s standing in her crib, lie her down, indicating that it’s bedtime. Do something soothing (my sons all liked having their heads stroked) for a certain number of times and then leave the room and close the door. She’s not gonna like it because it’s a change. At this point, you have to be strong, persistent, and wait her out. The first night or two may be difficult, but once she has LEARNED that you mean business, it will get much easier very quickly. If you are still giving her feedings throughout the night (nursing, formula), decide how many hours she has to sleep before you get her up to feed. So, maybe she has to stay in her bed for 4-5 hours before she can get up again and if she wakes after 3 hours, continue doing your interval checks until she goes back to sleep.
It isn’t easy and I commend you for doing it on your own. My husband was the one who came up with this method; it’s hard for me to stick to anything like this on my own. You got this. Just be strong and keep reminding yourself you are teaching her a very valuable life skill of sleeping on her own! Good luck.
I had to keep transitioning from a bassinet, to a portable crib on wheels, to a regular crib in her own room. I ended up having her sleep in that beside me she would be secure. Now she’s almost 2 but she’s falls asleep in my bed and then I put her in her crib. I’ve learned to put her down about an hr before I know I’ll pass out so I can do this. It’s honestly a learning experience. I just keep trying until something works and then a new problem arises. Now I have to think about turning it into a toddler bed. Lack of sleep is just something I’ve learned to adapt to lol but a couple times we’ve passed out at the same time on the couch and she rolled off and cried. It happens. Good luck! It’s definitely an interesting experience but worth it
Every time she cries she knows you will come. You have to let her cry herself to sleep . Go in occasionally and comfort her without picking her up. She will catch on but you have some sleepless nights tl she does. Good luck!
My Bed is against the wall and Even when it wasnt my son didnt fall of the bed. He Sits there and Strokes my face or gives me kisses until a wake up.
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Sometimes as parents we do things because we hate to hear our babies cry, or they are sick. or we are completely exhausted. We do what we feel is best for our children. Maybe it isn’t time to separate your child from you, it may cause more problems or increased fear. I agree with the posts to push your bed against the wall, or use a rail. Don’t beat yourself up, you are doing the best you can. As the child gets older. it may become easier for them to sleep in their own bed. They will become more independent and want to be a “big” girl or boy. Do what works for you and your baby. You got this!
I too am currently going thru the same thing with my 6month old. Been co-sleeping since birth, still trying to transition to his own bed
Try a co-sleeper that attaches to your bed maybe?
O my son is 5 months and we still have our bad nights. I got him sleeping in his own bed by increasing the amount of time he was sleeping in his bed and not mine. One night it was an hour next 2 we now ( most nights. Teeth coming in makes him super clingy!) 10 to 7 am. But once I got to the 4 hour mark it was leave him in his bed and tell him I am there bubby. Tap his butt or put my hand on his back. We are now a happy mommy and baby but I had the issue of the husband having a fit so I had no choice. If you are not ready to break the habit put your bed against the wall and put her on that side. Keep in mind this only last for a little while. Soon she won’t be so clingy and sneaking into trouble
She needs to learn how to self soothe so hold her till she falls asleep and when she wakes up in the middle of the night calm her but dont pick her up talk to her sing try getting a white noise machine but she needs to learn to self soothe
It won’t be the last time she falls. Don’t beat yourself up. My son started rolling over at 2 weeks and rolled off the bed. I came into the room and he was on the floor. He was not crying just trying to crawl. My daughter started rolling over at 2 days old so I was never able to leave her on the couch or bed. She coslept with me until she was 2 and that’s what worked for us. If you’re ready to stop cosleeping there will be some rough nights getting her adjusted. If not, she’ll eventually do it on her own. Do what’s right for you and your little one.
Hopefully any expecting moms will see this and know they should from the beginning put their child in their own bed - bassinet / crib / etc. - I know they are so precious and it is difficult - but this is a hard habit to break down the road and you will sleep better for it
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Babies sometimes fall off the bed. We were working with our daughter from the time she became mobile to try to teach her how to get off the bed properly (on her tummy, feet first. It didn’t click with her until the one time she moved way too fast for either of us to grab her and she fell. She never fell again after that. Get bedrails or put your mattress on the floor. You could also take the front of her crib off and sidecar it to your bed so she has her sleeping space and you have yours (though don’t count on her staying there every single night…but if you sleep on that side of the bed, she should stay in her area most of the night). She’s crying for you because she wants the comfort that only you can give her. It won’t last forever, I promise. The hours are long but the moments are short.