How to get baby to stop being clingy?

Tips for clingy six months old.

I’m a first-time mom. My son wants to be held all the time. He is six months already. And at first, I thought well maybe he wants to feel the warmth and loved. But now he wants to be held all the time, and if I lay him down for one second, he will scream until I pick him up, then he calms down and smiles.
I’m working six days a week, but we only take him to the babysitter the minimum of of 4-5 hours a day.
The babysitter told us that she has to carry him all the time because all he does is cry, but she wants us not to hold him as much, so he doesn’t get used to the arms. My sister in law and my aunt told me the same thing.
It hurts me to have this problem because I don’t know what to do. I set him down so he can relax a little by himself and maybe get used to it, but he just cries.
We bought him a jumper to set him in; he will stay there a little while then he will cry. And I’ve tried to lay him next to me and talk to him, but he will cry until I pick him up.
And he doesn’t cry because he is hungry or hurting, he is taken good care of. He just wants to be held. Any tips on what I can do. I just don’t want this to be an issue because I know other people will not care for my baby as much as I do when he cries.

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My son did this. Shit still does it lol at 6months. I’m a stay at home mom so my situation is a little different and he has acid reflux so we held him a lot. The jumper thing helps. Try putting him down and playing with toys. At small times and let him cry for 30 seconds ND then up the amount of time each day. It may be because he can’t entertain him self yet. But totally normal. Enjoy these times with him you only get it once.

Maybe new interactive toys
With lights n sound?
Blocks
I mean at some point he will need to learn to sit n play alone especially at the sitters
Just put him down and step away n play with the toys with him

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Hold him girl the time goes so fast he’s not going to want to be in your arms pretty

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My niece was like that. I refused to babysit

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Mine went through a phase like that. I could not even sit down next to him, he had to be in my arms all the time for him to stop crying. What I did was I would let him sit in a jumper or a seat (mine was eight months old when he went through it) for about five or six minutes at a time. Even though he was crying I would not pick him up for about five or six minutes. This lasted only about a week or week and a half, and then he just got over it. And then he went through the same thing again when he was like 11 months old or maybe 12 months old. I use the same strategy and it worked after a week. They do go through phases, and this won’t last forever. Hang in there.

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He just needs to be down more. You gotta ignkre the crying. Try your best to entertain him and interact with him while hes not in your arms. Its all about making it a fun time for him.

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The second to the last thing you said is key, he is taken care of, he is not hungry or hurting, he just wants up. You know his needs are met, give him a little longer each time of tears. Maybe cry for three minutes for this week, then five minutes next week, and just keep getting a tiny bit longer. dont just immediately pick him up. He is at the age where he is learning that crying is the way to get what he wants. Try to distract him just a little bit longer. Letting him cry for just a couple minutes is not abuse or neglect, because you know he is taken care of.

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My sister carried my nephew everywhere. He became so dependent, nobody thought he’d walk hey Suzette :wink: lol

Unfortunately you have to stop feeling bad with mom guilt and let him cry it out the worst that happens he cry’s himself to sleep or he pukes. It’s unfortunate but not only do baby’s have fazes but giving in out of mom guilt is bad for both of you. It’s normal to feel this way . Crying is not a big deal. It never bothers me or stresses me because I know there just communicating . But nip it in the butt .

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My son does that still and he just turned 1. My family has trouble watching him because of that. He likes to constantly be entertained. A high chair and walker with toys helped a lot. He would sit in the high chair with toys and snacks. He’s 6 months so you can give him those little puffs that melt in his mouth

Maybe he’s going through a developmental leap? I find my little one is clingy and crying when she’s going through one. The app The Wonder Weeks has saved and given me a better understanding of what she needs.

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My son is almost 2 and is so independent wish I could hold him and snuggle but the only time that happens is when he is hurt or sick :pensive:

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I know its hard to hear ur baby cry but ur right other ppl arent gunna have the same hurt and he needs to get used to being independent a little bit because most babysitter(i watch my niece 15months and nephew 3 weeks old) wont hold them 24/7 and its gunna be hard to find someone that will watch a baby that cried alot. My son was colic and i stayed home with him luckily cus no one would watch him cus he cried so much. I know so.e moms dont but i totally believe in the cry it out method. … Of course to an extent but my dr told me when i told him about my sons crying ‘have u ever heard of a baby dying from crying to much?’ and it made me realize im not a bad mom for letting him cry… He knows hes not alone . ur a great mom for caring

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Unpopular opinion but he’s a baby. He’s going to want to be held. This.is literally normal. As gas as developing. I held both my son’s.constantly yet they both still walked.before.one.

P.s. you can’t spoil a baby. Plus.they’re only little so long. Hold you child.

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Try engaging him with toys, try putting him on his tummy time mat and play with him, then try tge walker or jumper

It’s a phase at that age with a lot of babies. I know it gets very overwhelming momma. I went through this with my son…but they just NEED to be held and feel that. They grow up so fast. Hold them while you can. With my son I got him a little walker and let him roll around wherever I was and be right beside me whatever I was doing…and I couldn’t hold him…like doing dishes or cooking or laundry. He could be teething or going through his growth spurt and just need the extra love. Ignoring him and his cries will make him even further insecure. Ask your pediatrician for advice as well. Hang in there. Soon he will be very independant and then one day you’ll long to just hold him and he will be at an age where that isnt so cool to him. I understand your frustration but it gets better.

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Suggest the nanny gets a baby carrier. I nanny and it saved me with the clingy ones

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My son was like that with bith my husband and i up until he was 9 old, and he started walking. He will sit with daddy every once in a wgile and watch football or wa t to be held when hes really sick, but both my kids did that until they could walk and i miss it so bad. I loved it

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Just put him down. He’ll be fine

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Try a play mat, my son was like this and if you can get him distracted down on the floor it’ll be a little easier.

I would just let him cry a little. As long as he is in a safe spot and you can see him it won’t hurt him to cry a bit. Especially if you need to do something and it’s difficult to hold him while you do it.

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Id get a carrier! I loved my infantimo! It could be a forward or back pack! I feel the babysitter though. My sitter had a little girl that was always held and it created such a difficult enviroment. Do it slow! When you put him down only do it for short increments at first amd make it super positive. Don’t stress, babies just know. Take lots of deep belly breathes. Make it so much fun to be on the floor that its nauseating the the on lookers!:joy_cat: be on the floor too! It’ll get better I promise

If there’s nothing wrong with him let him cry. The less attention you give he will get bored of it. The daycare lady can’t be holding him all day cuz that interferes with her taking care of the other kids

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My son is fairly clingy as well. I think that this is common for a 6 month old. He doesn’t like to be left alone for long periods of time and you can occupy him for a little bit before he wants to be talked to

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At 6 months they understand cause and effect of if I cry I get held you have to break that correlation and once needs are met he needs to chill on his own

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My son does that all the time. I had to break down and get some toys that make noise. It helps for maybe 15 minutes then he wants me again. Good luck with little one

My kid was like that too. He outgrew it. He still likes to be close to me but i found my son to be more clingy when he was sick or teething. Or even sleepy or hungry.

I just snuggled him , still do if that’s what he wants. 🤷

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Not trying to be rude but let him cry. My son was the same way and I had to let him cry it out. I cried while he cried but it does get bettet

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It’s a short phase. It will pass. Just hold him and love him.
Crying it out is gross, no matter the age

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Hold that baby, it’s not going to be detrimental. He’s a baby, soley dependent on you for his needs. He will be fine and you’re not going to be carrying around your 10 year old. Do what your heart tells you, you’re his mama.

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Itll hurt you more than him. Just let him cry. He will realize you wont pick him up everytime.

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He’s going thru that stage where they get separation anxiety I looked it up my daughter is the same way

Try the jumper with some nursery rhymes. Sing along and get them to jump to the music. I also would try taking like a half hour a night before bed and get down on the floor with toys and play with baby. Gradually separate without making it noticeable

Unfortunately you’ll probably have to let him cry… I know it’s hard to have them cry and not be able to pick them up but it’ll be worth it and better for both of you in the long run! Hang in there mama and good luck!

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Hes 6 months …the nanny needs to keep carrying him then… hes used to being close … obviously she can put him down as he needs play time too where shes interacting with him but other then that I’d say if he wants to be held then ask her to wear him. I babysat a boy my sons age and a lot of times I had to hold both of then most of the day lol … it’s a apart of being a nanny

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My daughter is VERY clingy too, always has been. I just remind myself that it’s not going to last forever and one day shes gonna not want to be picked up anymore. Let him be a baby :woman_shrugging: its your job to comfort him. That’s what you signed up for by becoming a mom

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Sit him down and let him whine in a safe spot. Show him some toys to shift focus from you. A little crying won’t hurt em!

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Both my kids done this and I found out they had separation anxiety but the older they get the better they are

Actually. Did you know. Studies show that babies left to cry it out tend to become more aggressive as adults. Crying it out doesn’t teach them it’s.okay to be alone. It teaches them mommy isn’t going to sooth me as a mom you are your child’s.safe.place. You cannot spoil a baby. It’s a baby it’s supposed.to fuss and make.noise. also despite the old.myth it also does.nothing to strengthen their lungs. There’s actually really no reason to let a baby cry it out. Again. Hold your.child… maybe find a baby sitter who understands that that’s what babies do.

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Hes a baby. That’s what they do.

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Unfortunately sometimes they just have to cry for a little bit. Realistically you can’t do everything while holding them. Try and find something to distract him like a favorite toy etc. try and make it fun for him. Sometimes I have to sing and do silly stuff for my daughter. He could be most definitely teething. I found my daughter was more clingy when she was. Hang in there you will do just fine. :blush:

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I am a licensed day care provider in Missouri for 20+ years. I know this sounds cold but you have to set him down and NOT leave the room… Soothe him gently with your voice, sing a song softly, but do not pick him up… It’s tough at first, but regulate your voice softly and he will eventually calm just to hear your voice. Not going to lie it’s tough Mom, but you have to do it…

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get a baby carrier when you’re home. hes only 6 months, thats what babies do. one day you’re gonna set him down and he’s not going to want to be picked up again. then, that’s when you’ll miss it. 🤷🏼

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Baby carrier all the way :grin::grin::grin:

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My cousin is a nanny and she would fill a sock with rice and lay that on baby if she was watching a needy baby. It worked well. But you cannot spoil a baby that young! It’s sad that so many ppl think you can. My daughter was breastfed for almost the first year and she loved to be cuddled, it was her happy place, and I loved to do it because she was so little and I knew the time would come where she wouldn’t want to be cuddled much or at all. Talk with your pediatrician, also, they may offer some good advice, but I don’t recommend letting baby cry it out, their brains aren’t developed enough to know that gets them picked up, or cuddled.

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6 months old. Hold that baby. My son is 8 months old and still goes through phases like that. Yes I get it can be frustrating, but one day they arent going to be little anymore and not want to be held…

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If he needs reassurance give it to him… He is a baby you are his safety. Don’t let him cry… hug him, carry him as much as you can. It is just a phase. Don’t listen to people. Read! Just do some research and see what experts and studies say about it. You can not spoil a baby

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It’s just a phase and won’t last long. A little crying is not a bad anyway. You have to shower and eat, get dressed, clean or whatever and nothing gets done with a baby in your arms 24/7. Don’t feel bad when you have to put him down 10-15 min here and there to take care of yourself. Your a mom yes but the day has to keep rolling on.

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Hold the damn baby. He’s a BABY. He DOES want to feel the warmth and love. If your babysitter can’t be bothered to hold him she shouldn’t be watching babies that young. They cry. And then, they cry some more. He’s not old enough for the cry it out method yet in my opinion and you’re going to regret not holding him before you even know it. I’ve had 4, pregnant with my 5th. I understand the frustration and exhaustion, but in my experience, just hold him.

So what’s the unknown question? You’ve been told. Obviously the solution would be to stop holding him all the time. It’s not going to be easy as he knows to cry and he will be held. It’s harder on you then him. Trust me.

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I always held my baby and still do. She almost 2 :joy: There is nothing wrong with him momma. Hes just a little guy still!

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My son was the same. So id sit him on the floor and play with him but not holding him. If he started to cry, id hold his hand, brush his hair back with my hand etc to help soothe him by touch but didn’t pick him up. As he adjusted, I’d move farther and farther away. A foot. Then 2…then 3…etc til I’d be in the kitchen while he was in his jumper or exersaucer cooking dinner playing peek a boo around the wall making him giggle.
It was just teaching him that even tho he wasn’t in my arms mommy was still there and would still keep him safe.
Took a couple months, and he adjusted.
I don’t believe in this cry it out thing. Not in the way of “ignoring” the baby. Crying while you’re actively soothing is different. But you CAN sooth without giving in to what they want tho.

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Maybe instead of just setting him down to cry it out, you do it in small steps. Like you start by not holding him close to you, but still holding him. Like sitting on your lap but facing away from you. Then being beside you with you still touching him. Then just being beside you. It certainly won’t happen over night. But as he gets older and sleeps less, you may not want to have to hold him during every waking minute. There’s nothing wrong with him being so clingy. But as he grows, he will become an inconvenience, and you could possibly end up with some serious frustration with it. Just do it at your own pace. No mommy ever wants to listen to her baby cry when she knows she could make him smile instead. Crying won’t hurt him, so don’t give in if he gets a little fussy when you slowing change how close you are to him. But if you only let him cry for 30 seconds before picking him up, that’s fine. Just try to wait 45 seconds the next time. The objective is for him to know you will still be right there when he needs you. But he doesn’t need you every single second.

Like others have mentioned get a carrier, and either tell the babysitter to suck it up because that’s what you’re paying her for, or get a new one. He has needs. Comfort is very much a need for a baby, and not responding to those needs is going to confuse him because he doesn’t understand. It’s a phase that he’ll eventually get over. For now enjoy the snuggles because soon he’ll want nothing to do with you.

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I did daycare for 12 years and I was always willing to work with my parents but after 2 weeks I would give them notice that I would I could only try for another 2 weeks and if it didnt stop or get better they would need to find another provider. It isnt fair to all the other children and babies.

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Hold him. Food spoils, babies don’t. You aren’t going to ruin him. If there is no apparent reason for his crying, he just simply needs you right now.

Also, check out The Wonder Weeks. It will change your life.

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He’s 6 months old. Hold the baby. :woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:

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Leave him cry, he’s going to get over it!

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Held my child and breastfed for over a year. No such thing as spoiling child. He probably missed you as you are at work alot. Try to give tummy time, etc so he can learn his mileatones.

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I say it depends on what you’re trying to do. If you’re making dinner or something you need both hands for, then he’s going to have to cry. Otherwise, I don’t think you can spoil a baby that young by holding him

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Get a carrier so hes near u and yur warmth but u can still use your hands and do things. Its a fase tho and it will pass either way

I carried my son in a sling so I could get stuff done.

Just remember that every phase will end and a new one will start. I know what you are going through and its frustrating and VERY tiring ( I had this with my daughter and now my granddaughter) I guarantee one day you will be missing and craving to hold him. It’ll be ok…Their attention span is so short so the jumper is perfect but you’ll need other things as well to keep him busy( one toy after another)
Best of luck :two_hearts:

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Mine just started this. He cries and you think something is wrong but as soon as he thinks you’re picking him up he stops, then I back away because he stopped, so he screams again.
Yeah. I see you little man. I ain’t playin your game. lol
I let him cry for a bit, go talk to him, pat him, then let him cry again. 5 or 10 mins at a time, and he can usually see me (unless I have chores to do then I’m in and out of his sight line, but he knows I’m there and he’s safe). He also learns he can’t always get what he wants. He usually tires himself out and either calms down or falls asleep. I admit, during desperate times, I’ve put on a youtube video or something for him. Just to give me a moment of peace. We do what we need to do, right? Crying won’t hurt him. Giving in won’t either, but it won’t help him in the long run. He’ll just learn over time to scream until he gets his way, though he won’t necessarily make that connection yet. Do what you think is best for now, but understand you can’t give in forever. :woman_shrugging:

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My granddaughter was just like this. Lucky for us she started walking at 10 months. As soon as she started walking the crying stopped. She didn’t just want you to hold her she wanted you to stand and walk. It will get better.

Mama as horrible as this sounds u must leave him to scream. He is a baby but well aware everytime he screams he gets held. This i had to do with my first babygirl. It was heart wrenching but eventually hubby and i listened to our parents and we ket her cry amd then walked out the room but hid and peeked on her and she eventually would stop crying and so that habit was broken.

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2nd paragraph has interesting facts Babies left to cry can suffer brain damage, warns parenting guru | The Independent | The Independent

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Maybe hes still hungry, maybe hes not getting enough food, try some baby food like fruit.

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Babies at this age are developing their personality… being cheeky and so forth there is nothing wrong with being carried just now as he doesn’t know where you are and can’t follow so crying is what he will do. If your babysitter is having a problem with that best you get someone else who is more understanding and patient. As a retired nursery nurse little ones need security and yours is the same . So as some girls having some great advice and try them but listen to your own instincts and follow through how you feel. Baby will settle down and want to explore

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Let
Him
Cry
Don’t listens to all the dummies saying you can’t spoil a baby. You most certainly can and apparently already have.

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I have to agree but also can baby wear! Does us great on her fussy days or our busy days

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A baby ( believe it or not but science and all) can understand “no” at about six months, they learn some worlds long before they speak them… maybe try “no” when you don’t pick the little one up and “ yes” when you do. Can’t hurt but might help… so when you say “no” after a little while they’ll understand that you aren’t going to hold them. But in the end follow your instincts mommas always can feel what’s best.

I used to have my babies by me like I’m a high chair, bouncy, in the floor I always had something to do with their hands. It helped.

Why are ppl putting angry faces by comments that say let him cry or whatever?? I have 4 kids and am no expert but am lol but coz u take him to a babysitter it is hard for them to keep up with holding him. If u think or know that others wont care for his crying as much as you then you must let him cry it out while in ur care. Not too long though but talk to him when hes down. He will still cry but he will eventually realise he can not be held all the time.once you master that with your son you will feel at ease when u take him to the sitter and so will your son.

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Do you have a front pack ? Baby is only little for so long, needs momma !!! I dont agree about her telling you to stop holding your baby… that’s really outrageous and she just doesnt want to hold the baby? I’d be finding someone new !
Baby needs you momma , regardless of what the nanny or your fam says . Safe. Secure, warm, pretty soon lil babes will be all over the place and not wanting to be held or cuddle you know ?

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Is he crawling? If not it might be more being carried around than actually being held that he likes, try a baby walker ? X

Please don’t leave the baby to cry. Buy a sling to help you out, babies go through this. I promise it will get better.

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Once my son was able to crawl he was always under me but near me people say I coddled him to much and that he’s spoiled but he just wants to be with momma once he’s able to roam around he’ll be fine

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Get a new babysitter.

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I’m wondering if your baby isn’t feeling secure. Is he going through anything that could be stressful? At 6 months they learn object permanence, so he may be going through separation anxiety.

But I strongly suggest not listening to others and digging deeeeeep into your motherly instincts. Do what the little voice in the back of your mind is telling you to do. Stop being fearful of what other people have put into your mind. You’re the mom. that’s your baby. You know your baby the best and you know instinctively what your baby needs. Your baby won’t be like this forever. Trust yourself.

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I am the babysitter for my 8 month old grandson & I promise he is the same. My daughter is a single mom & works 4 hours per shift 6 days a week. He does fine with her being gone, but he wants to be held, while awake, while asleep, he just wants to be held…
As his mom, HOLD HIM. I promise it goes way fast & soon you will be aching to hold him like that again.

As far as the sitter, ask if she is open to a baby carrier while she has him, & see if this pacifies him at all. If not, she needs to hold him, thats what she is paid for. To care for him as HE wants, not as she wants. IF she cannot do that, find a different sitter. Your childs well being comes first, not her need to do other things while watching him~

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One thing my doctor said to me is that we(moms) are their(babies) whole world and that was 10 years ago and it has always stuck with me and it makes perfect sense. Be patient with your baby there will be a time when your going to miss holding him.

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Distract him with some toys. Get on the floor and play with him.

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Go to walmart n get some stretchy yet soft fabric like 6 feet long n watch YouTube videos for money wraps. I have 4 kids n that wrap saved my sanity with the last 2.

Momma hold that baby, but also start on tummy time . Maybe put down and let fuss a little , talk to baby reassuring. Do a little longer each ti.me

My daughter does this with me once I pick her up from Kohanga and when we get home she wants to be held only by me I used to let it get to me like argh come on bubbah mum needs to get things done and with other kids to look after tea to cook etc so I started crock pot meals and I started walking into the house and sitting on the floor near her toys and after 15 20mins she would take herself off me and play I now do this everyday even if she isnt having a clingy day because she does need me she does want her mum to be at her level and the best part I realized half the reason she wanted me was so she could see what I was doing as I whip around the house organizing washing and lunches etc shes now 11months she started Kohanga at 6months and I still do this my other kids can have full on conversations and hold my attention by saying look at me look at this can you help me with this and that but my girl cant so her tugging at pants and saying mum over and over again and crying sometimes is just her saying can I come up to your level or can you please come down to mine x you will find what works for you and your son x

Let him cry🤷‍♀️ it’s not going to kill him. We let our girls cry when we know they are being dramatic about not getting held when we have stuff to do. I babysit and I can’t constantly hold my children when I have another to take care of also.

Get down in the floor with him for play time often. Put up a (secured) mirror at his level, toys that really let him explore. I’d suggest an area specifically for him, look up sensory corner for babies on pinterest.
Get him use to playing there, slowly being less involved, until he is comfortable alone. Baby happy, mommy happy