Regarding the sex talk, it’s never too early to start talking to them. Age appropriate words and information but as you have already discovered, she is getting information already at school. Her dad, you & mom need to talk about this & all be on the same page about talking to her about stuff.
Regarding the sleeping in your bed, dad definitely needs to take the lead & both need to explain that your bed is you & your husband’s personal space. It’s just that simple, “no, you cannot sleep with us.”
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Lamp in his room. Early bed times. Incentives for sleeping in his bed.
My youngest ck slept for the longest time. We would put him in his bed and wake up to him climbing in ours in the middle of the night. He wakes up searching for the warmth or comfort of having someone there I guess. We would tell him to go get back in his bed. We would wake up to find him curled up on our floor with his pillow and blanket. Breaking co-sleeping isn’t as easy as people think. He’s 8 now and respects that our bed is off limits at bed time. The only time he co-sleeps is when he’s sick. I still allow that. Some children accept moving to their own beds better than others. That’s the only part of this post I’m willing to touch cause the rest doesn’t set right with me. P.s. I’m a heavy sleeper and I have NEVER rolled over onto my child.
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I wish my boyfriend could get my step son to sleep in his own room. We have an 8 month old and I’m pregnant and I’m so tired of sharing my room.
This is dad’s job. Tell him and step back. Or they both can go share the couch. Period…
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This child should have been out of his/your bed a long time ago…there’s NO excuse for her being in bed with y’all!! You both are taking serious chances having her in your bed. And trust me her curiosity didn’t start recently!! Just wait til she discusses this with someone outside of the home…talking about her dads penis and what happens etc!! She will be removed from the home!
Do the right thing! This is ridiculous! Y’all need to be parents. If your husband/her dad can’t make this happen or support it then you’ve got a whole other problem.
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Stick to your guns!! Do not give in. You both need to be a united front, do not let her back in that bed!! She is much to “aware” at this age to be in your bed.
Secondly. You are her parents first (regardless of step) friend second!!!, you both need remember this, you won’t get her out happily… but it NEEDS to be done.
You and you husband need your bed and bedroom time together this is not a space for a child to be (other than sick ect)
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Invest in a door lock on the inside of your door. Research mini wife syndrome and be careful of her.
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“a cot next to your bed or in your room somewhere” HELLLLLNO. 
She’s EIGHT years old…Are you the parent or is she???
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This supposed other child that is telling her about sexual things needs to be investigated. Its abnormal for a child that age. Is it an older child? Or an abused child? This shouldn’t be happening. Put a stop to it, talk to the teachers or counsellors and get to the bottom of it. The 8 year old needs her own bed. Make it happen.
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Letting a kid cry vs letting a kid be exposed to stuff they shouldn’t be exposed to?
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You need to just go ahead and let her get mad, or upset or whatever. Shes young enough to still have some raising and your step momma now. You arent here to make friends your here to parent. She’ll get over it eventually!
Can’t be all put down to you get your husband and explain it to her and if shes still mad so be it …she will get over it x
Husband needs to put HIS foot down. This should not be put on you.
Mini wife syndrome… Do your research and dig deeper cause this is not normal. 
Something isn’t right here…
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Let her be mad. Shes 8. She will get over it. She should have been in her own bed from the get go
This sounds like you have MUCH bigger problems than “co-sleeping” . Why would an “8 year old little girl” (who should be worried about playing with dolls ) be asking about di€ks and wanting to “see what grown ups look like” that doesn’t even make sense, a grown-up doesn’t look any different than a kid, it’s the same parts. you need to specifically tell her this is inappropriate and it’s time for her to get her little butt in her own room. And I would highly suggest investigating way past the so-called little friend that told her these things there may be an adult child molesting her
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She is asking questions. You can tell her stuff in an age appropriate way. The reason the other kid at school is telling her stuff is because your daughter is asking. You tell her so she stops asking other kids. That is on you and her dad. You guys are causing her to ask inappropriate stuff. You and him both need to put your foot down and stop allowing inappropriate talks among kids and step up and be the parent. If cps gets involved, that child will be removed because what you guys as parents are allowing. Don’t want another kid telling your kid stuff, then you tell them age appropriate answers. You don’t want her asking about her dad’s penis, then get her out of that bed. You and her dad are the issue. Be a parent. Not a friend.
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not giving advice about co sleeping because I go sleep w my 8 month old twins so I haven’t experienced the same situation. BUT if she is asking about “adult” things, she is hearing about them somewhere and is more than likely getting misinformation. and the two of you as her parents, NEED to teach her the correct info. it’s very important that you start at a young age talking openly about those things. the correct names for human anatomy, about consent and all other things. especially to keep her informed about sexual assault, rape, etc. If she is old enough to ask questions, you NEED to have informed conversations with her.
who gives a shit if you feel uncomfortable talking about it, think abt how she would feel if someone were to ever harm her in a physical way but she didn’t know what was happening or what to do. as a parent (yes, this includes being a step parent. FYI you should treat her the same as you would treat your biological children ) you WILL/HAVE to do things that “make you uncomfortable” because YOU are responsible for educating your children and protecting them from any harm.
Lord you need to say NO!! Period. She should not be in bed with a married couple at that age. So inappropriate on so many levels. JUST SAY NO!
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Micro-dose melatonin (bedtime vitamins) for kids and tuck her into her own bed.
I know many parents that did this and I guess if it’s gone on for a long time it’s going to be harder to undo.
I started making my 9 year old son a cup of tea. It makes them have to sit up to drink.
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I know she’s young for the “talk”, but under the circumstances, you may consider it. Get her the American Girl book,All About Me. It’s a great conversation starter. Then tell her that she’s plainly to old to be in your bed. That you both love her, but it’s time to grow up. It’s one thing if she’s afraid of a storm or has a nightmare, but she has a room & it’s time to be in her own bed! Dad should stick by you!
I definitely don’t let my kids sleep with me the entire night, never have, but if my littles want to fall asleep with me because they are having a hard time sleeping or lonely, I let them, then I carry them to bed. Or what usually happens is they sleep all night in their own room and then come into mine when dad goes to work (usually my son since he is a light sleeper).
Sometimes i have a hard time sleeping alone when my husband isn’t there… my kids are people too, they are allowed to have nights or mornings when they just can’t seem to sleep… its a comfort thing.
As adults I think we forget what it’s like to be a kid, and more often than not we put rules on kids that we can’t/don’t even live by ourselves. As for me, I’ll cuddle my babies until they don’t want to anymore. To me the sick people are the ones sexualizing children, not the parents cuddling their young ones. (Yes I know there are sick ppl out there who hurt their kids), but if someone is with someone and worried about that they should probably kick that person out of the bed not the kid.
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Have your husband talk to her because she is way to old to be sleeping with you guys
Now is a great time to not only talk to her about her body, etc (only go at the speed of the questions she asks/is curious about) but also about boundaries. Not just for you and your husband, but for her as well. As parents we never want to hurt our child’s feelings or have them mad at us but I promise if it happens, it will pass. As a parent of 27yo and 23yo daughters and a 7yo son, if I had a penny for every time I was told I was the worst mom ever, I would own fb right now. 
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Having her sleep on the floor is probably a good compromise. As far as the “inappropriate” questions, they’re not inappropriate at all. Definitely find something for her age that can help answer those questions.
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Buy her a big teddy bear. Orr a dog. Something she would really like. Ask her to pick it out and let her know up front that’s since she is such a bid sweet girl she is being rewarded with a new bed partner. When’s bed time comes daddy should take her to her bed and put both in. Give her a few minutes of alone time with him. Then he says good night gets up and goes to his bed. A small night light may help is she is afraid of dark. Assure her that she is loved and very special that’s the reason she gets to have big girl rewards
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By all means get her out ur bed and I don’t think she too young for the birds and bees talk . These kids are advanced . So better safe than sorry
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If she’s asking, she’s curious. Better you teach/talk to her than the kids at school! Having this talk may also explain to her why it’s better for her to be in her own bed. Also, if your husband hasn’t already, maybe he should explain why she needs to sleep in her own bed.
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She’s going to be mad one way or another but to try and ease it up maybe allow her to change her room up and make it a “big girl” room of her choosing. Whether it’s picking new blankets or a piece of furniture. Just something to get her excited about her room. They do start to get curious at that age and it can be awkward and difficult to explain to them in a way they understand. My niece is 7 and the first time she was around while I was changing my son the questions started flowing! All I could tell her in that moment to kill the curiosity is that’s what makes boys and girls different and no one but you can touch it….end of conversation and she was happy with it.
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Get her a good size teddy bear and put one of her dad shirts on the teddy. Make a reward system to transfer her to her own bed
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I think the new bedroom as other’s have suggested is a great idea. As well as allowing her to sleep on the floor. I would however limit that. Tell her if she sleeps in her room all week, then every Friday night she can have a sleepover in your room but on the floor. Then make Friday extra special by having pizza for dinner, playing games, making a craft or watching movies. Shoot skip dinner all together and have dessert. Anything to make that one day extra special for her. As far as the questions… Think of it this way. If she’s asking you and doesn’t get answers, she could ask someone else. Do you really want someone else telling her? Just try to make it age appropriate. I’m sure there’s a book at the library about bodies for kids.
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Do what you do with babies. Make her sleep in her own bedroom. It’s really not that hard. Maybe some crying but she’ll get over it. I promise if my kiddos done it she can.
i was in active addiction when my son was 2-4 so he ended up living with my mother until i finally got it together! when i got clean and got him back he was used to sleeping in bed with my mom every night so i didnt want to come back and just take that from him so we did it for awhile, then after a decent while i let him make a pallet in the floor beside me to get used to sleeping on his own but not be scared and once he was used to that i started laying down with him in his own bed until he fell asleep then went back to my bed for the night and long as he had his little pooh bear that played music he was just fine! now hes turning 8 and barely needs me to go to bed accept to tell him when its time, to brush teeth and come say prayers and give kisses and he only ever asks to come be in my bed when he has a bad dream which is only a couple times a year! his bio father was not ready to get clean when i was so we split after 9 years but his stepdad helped in this transition with making him feel like he was doing what real big boys do and all the guy talk. so maybe try that but with girl talk lol
if youre worried about hubby and mornings have her sleep on the other side of you and you in middle till ya get it sorted out
have the talk with her. It’s great that she has bond and trust with you. unfortunately kiddos are so much more exposed these days. better to hear it from you than from a random child.
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Stop letting an 8 year-old run the show Be a parent
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She’s way to old and knows dang well she’s getting under your skin. She’s way to old for that… unless she’s suuuper sick… and I had to ask my daughter whose 9 and she looked at me like I was a nutcase for even asking…
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Once they are done with night feedings they get moved to their own room. Right now my 7 week old is in a pack n play in our room and My 2 1/2 year old is in her own toddler bed. Next year we will be probably moving her her to a big girl bed. So the toddler bed is available for my next.
Why are you being the one to tell her it’s time? This should be her fathers job and his responsibility to talk to her about it.
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Set up her room comfy. Speak to her that she is a big girl now and needsmto sleep in her own bed. Put her in her own bed. If she gets out. Put her back in bed but.don’t speak. This may have to be done over and over. I watched this on Nanny rescue. You can search on you tube the episodes of putting child in own bed. 
One thing I will tell you, if she’s asking about adult things it’s the time to talk with her. If you try to avoid that talk she’ll lose the trust to talk to either of you. When children become aware (whether at school or television) it’s best to calmly explain what it means. This of course doesn’t mean show her what you or him look like naked, but maybe use science textbooks to show her and explain her questions only as she asks them. It’s natural for children at her age to start to become curious, so I would avoid words like inappropriate to her. Just be honest with her in the most appropriate way you can. There’s lots of books out there that can serve as a good guide.
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One of my grand daughters had to wear her dad’s t-shirt to sleep at night…
Each their own , but it does sound like its time to figure out what will work for her
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Tell her if she wants to act like a baby instead of a big girl she will have to start wearing diapers again.
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Shes not to old shes only 8 Thats her dad. my son slept with us for years
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No. Daddy step up and be the dad. Tell her to get in her space. Are you so sure it’s a kid at school “teaching” her. Do you know what really goes on in her other “home”???
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Try making a bed in the floor for her and slowly moving it further and further away. Then move her to her room?
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Tell your husband to tell her its time to sleep in her own bed,.
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How about, ur the parent, u pay the bills, u said no!
I tell my boy, hey when ur paying the bills, you’ll have some say so, thanks for ur suggestions though 
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Way past time to out her in her own room…if you/your husband doesn’t stop it now…then when??? When she’s 19? 12? Bite the bullet and do it now!
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If not now then when? Do you have 3 kids in your bed? I personally can’t sleep when my daughter sleeps with me, so for that reason she is rarely allowed to.
Literally so hard Momma
I struggle with this with my little one who’s almost 5 && my boyfriend’s son who is almost 10…
Just sending you luck!! 
Start out by reducing the time she is in bed. Let her pick out a couple of days a week that she can sleep with you guys and the rest on her own. Have this conversation with the two of you and dad so that she knows it’s a group thing. If she asks why, tell her that night time is a special time for the you and dad and everyone needs some special time.
As far as her curiosity goes, answer questions scientifically. If she is asking them than she is old enough to know. Kristina Kuzmic just posted a video of this last night talking about her 7 year old asking questions during dinner. It’s a great watch with some tips on how to explain it. For example, my then 4 now 5 year old asked me how babies were made (I was pregnant). I told him that people who are born with a vagina (yes, we try to be specific, gender neautral and use technical terms) have eggs in their uterus which is near the stomach. The eggs get fertilized and grow into babies. Simple as that. I know your concern is that she will discover dad’s boner, but that can be a simple explanation too. Just tell her that when people born with a penis sleep, blood rushes in and makes it stand. When they wake up the blood goes back to the body making it lay down. It doesn’t have to be a full blown sex talk, just a scientific one.
I think I’d look more into your daughter’s friend and how she knows so much and maybe contacting the school/ cps to further investigate. Hopefully your Daughter isn’t making it up to hide the fact that someone could be touching her/ inappropriate around her (moms house when she went there). Also it seems odd that she would Even notice his morning wd. Most men would do there absolutely best to hide that at all cost especially from his little kids.
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I used to sleep with my Dad when I was sick or scared. Mom wasn’t there! He raised me and 2 brothers. I had athsma real bad, no medicine and at times I didn’t want to dye alone!
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Tell her too bad, she has to sleep in her own bed. You don’t need to explain anything
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Kym Massey I agree with you, I started when I turned 8 it was a late birthday gift lol from mother nature lol and I had my first child at 14 so yes she needs to get on the talk asap
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Have dad remind her and take her to her own bed
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I use to sleep with my dad when I was small but then he told me it’s time to go to my own bed .it was a huge ass bed and it made me feel so small and scared but then he got me hella teddy bears and different stuffed animals. I was good after that lol. I hated that him and my granny would sleep with the doors closed .so I started sleeping with my granny until I was like 11 lol then went to my own bed
Not saying this is the case at all but I definitely slept with my parents almost until I was 12. Not saying it was acceptable by any means but…
I was sexually abused as a child and most nights, I literally could not sleep because of the anxiety and lack of feeling safe. Even if I slept on the floor of their room I would feel better and be able to sleep. If not I wouldn’t sleep a wink. Again not saying this is the same at all. But just a different perspective that it may be deeper than just habit. Wouldn’t hurt to ask why she wants to sleep in there. Or if it doesn’t get better with all options exhausted you may have to try counseling. It’s honestly healthy to do any way you never know how life has impacted someone especially as young as 8 who is still learning to express themselves 
good luck
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Stop worrying about a child being mad at you and be a freaking parent!
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a good transition to use which I did with my kids is to let them have a sleeping bag on the floor next to the bed, so they can feel close and safe but not be in the bed. They have to start off in their own bed in their own room but if they wake up in the night and feel lonely or scared they can come in and get into their sleeping bag. Don’t make it too comfortable–no foam pads underneath for example–so they won’t do it unless they really need to. But this will have to come from her dad–unless you have raised her from an infant and bio mom is not in the picture.
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Firstly good job for being the mom that STEPPED UP! But it’s time to put your foot down and move the child to her own room. I know alot of people thinking its completely acceptable to let them sleep with one parent or the other but she is old enough even if she gets mad… Make her stay in her own room every night… Do not give in and let her back in your room. Best of luck
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My son moved to his bed when he was 1 and a half yrs only. 8yrs is alot to share abed with both of you. No need for any explanation
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If she is asking the questions then she is ready for (some of) the answers. And I think it is great that she is asking/wanting to see you guys naked because she is curious. That is much healthier than trying to see a different adult naked. I modify behaviors for a living, and one of the most important things to remember is if a person has a need/desire (especially one with poor self/impulse control, like kids) they will find a way to meet it. So just telling them, “no” or “stop that” is not effective long term. Find an appropriate way to get that need met (perhaps an anatomy book?) Also, 8 really isn’t too young to be talking about sexuality and the differences between kids and adults bodies. That is a perfect opening to explain about privacy, good touch bad touch, appropriate “exploration” (“It’s OK for you to touch and explore whatever part of your own body you want, but touching your private areas should be done in private places like your bedroom or bathroom”). Also, if she is hearing about stuff at school it is better for her tl have age appropriate CORRECT information from a loving adult. As for her not sleeping with you, again, it is meeting a need that she has. Talk to her about WHY she needs to or wants to sleep with you and try to find a different way to meet those needs… Perhaps including special cuddle time before bed? And also, try to do it gradually. Maybe she can fall asleep in your bed, but will be moved to her bed when you go to sleep.
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I know you think 8 is to young for some talks ; trust me I thougth the same thing , then my daugther started her period at 9 so now she is alomst 11 and we have had all the talks i dreaded . but you dont know what kids are telling her , better the rigth information comes from you then wrong information from another 8 year old .
Your husband should say something
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Put her in a sleeping bag on the floor then move that sleeping bag closer to her room every couple nights. You do the best you can with what you have. Stay consistent she’ll be mad for a little while and that’s okay. Let her pick out sheets blankets and pillows for her bed. Once you get her transitioned your room is a no kid zone unless you tell them it’s okay. Our room has been a no kids (unless told otherwise) and no fighting zone (we don’t fight where we sleep). It works for us.
I was a single mom for a long time and my daughter would crawl into bed with us until she was 11. Not every night but it went on did r a long timez she had anxiety and still does. She’s almost 15 a d still
Texts sometimes about how anxious she is and it makes her feel sick to her stomach. Something to maybe think about. And ask her. Idk, just my two cents.
No experience with kiddo’s sleeping in the bed, but maybe have dad take a more active role in weening her from y’alls bed? With her questions, I’ve always taken the stance of “if they’re old enough to ask the questions, they’re old enough for the talk”. I know she’s young but you can find age appropriate (maybe clinical?) ways to explain certain things. And yes, it sucks. I started my daughter with the Judy Blue book “Are you there God, it’s me Margaret”. I also made sure I purchased “the care and keeping of you” book. She like both books and it opened up the discussions. Your local book store might have some better/different/ younger options. You got this Mom!
My daughter is 7.5. She and I used to co sleep bc I was single. When she stays at her fathers she sleeps with him too.
I had already started to get her into her own bed by buying a bunk bed bc I only had one bedroom and that was a great solution for “separation”.
She still wants to sleep in my bed but now I have a partner and I just don’t find it appropriate.
Don’t listen to these people…. She isn’t abnormal. There is nothing wrong with her. My daughter is as equally curious about adult bodies and such. She always looks at me if I am naked basically studying me lol she always makes jokes about penis’ lol I notice her barbies “laying on top of one another”
She is at an age where kids start joking around about sex stuff or just talking about it in general.
Asking her about it isn’t a terrible idea just to poke around and see what type of friend this is.
She doesn’t sound abused to me. She just sounds like she is really fighting change. It’s not going to be an easy transition. Let her get some nice things for her room to make it cozier for her, nightlights, new bed set something special to incentivize it. Mine fought and cried and acted like she was the lonilest and unloved child ever lol and it broke my heart as well to also feel her absence at night. But she is a big girl. It isn’t going to destroy her to sleep in her own room.
But I repeat- she is NORMAL! Don’t let internet bully holier than thou moms try to tell you otherwise.
Well my 10 yr old is sleeping in between my husband and I right now. She does not sleep in our bed often but she came in sometime in the middle of the night. Make her a pallet on your floor. Don’t worry about soft, comfortable and cute. You don’t want her to like it and be comfortable. You want her to want to sleep in her room. Does she have a sister? Have them share a bed. It’s going to take time. As far as her asking what you think are inappropriate questions. It’s only inappropriate for her to discuss these questions to others. If she’s asking although maybe not age appropriate, she has seen and or heard something. Don’t make her feel bad for asking questions. When she does ask, tell her the truth. The bigger the words and the more scientific the less they will actually hear. I have 15 yr old boys. One walked into the schools PTO, when he was in the 1st grade, and told me he knew what SES was. He heard it from a kid on the playground. A good kid with older brothers. He told me “it’s when you’re naked, on top of each other and kiss for a really long time”. Kids pick up and hear everything! Answer them! If not eventually the will find access to the internet. My kid ask me “inappropriate”questions and he can ask me anything. He can only ask if his audience is age appropriate. His twin told me he wasn’t going to catch puberty.
This child should have been moved into her own room / bed a long time ago I stopped sharing a room with my daughter when she was 3 .
Perhaps you should read to her in her own bed… lie dwn with her there, watch tv. Maybe she is scared. Get her night light, n stay with her for a few nights, at least until she falls asleep. She maybe too old for ur bed, but she is use to it so you need to help her adjust.
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Maybe try make it a positive thing for her like get her to get some bedding she likes and decorate a bedroom so she will be comfortable in it and like it. I would maybe add a soft night light just it case. Then set the boundary and tell her big girls need their own space and she is to sleep there instead of in your bed
Simple you are the parent she is the child simply lock your door or something like that if she doesn’t learn now she will never have boundaries and think things like that are acceptable simply children do as they are told at 8 she should know better not to kick off
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Daddy should be handling this problem.
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Start with a cot in your room, after a few months move it to her room.
Ummm…a child isn’t just ‘curious’ about adult naked bodies. Was she ever molested? I think it’s time for tough questions and some investigation.
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Dad definitely needs to step up and put his foot down. I’m a pretty liberal person, but 8 is far too old for a girl to be sharing a bed nightly with her dad.
This whole ass situation is off. When he rolls over on her…is he rolling onto her back first, or face to face? This is important.
Is he telling you that it’s time for her to go, and then telling her something else? You cannot be too careful when children are involved, people who live double lives and are predatory are extremely convincing, very skilled in hiding their behavior and its normal to evaluate everyone around a child for these possible characteristics
Peeking at adults naked, especially children that haven’t hit puberty is a warning sign of molestation looked for by doctors, psychiatrists, and CPS workers.
Why isn’t the dad dealing with it? Tell her dad to handle it.
Not your place. Leave her alone
Rereading this whole thing…your husband is molesting that girl. And you know. You’re in denial. Pull your brain back out of the fog of fairy tale land and save this little girl.