Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to get my attached daughter ready for school?
Seperation anxiety is normal and will go away after a few weeks.
Regression is expected for kids beginning a school routine for the first time. She’ll adapt, be patient with her and yourself.
My 4 year all just started prek full time. She has always been with me never a moment she has been without me. First week was hard not going to lie but this week so far seems like a breeze! It takes a child few weeks to adjust and get in the routine.
Start practicing your morning routine now, including taking her to school. When you get to the door, explain to her you’ll walk her to the classroom but no further. Tell her how much fun she’s going to have and how many new friends she will make. By practicing she’ll anticipate what will happen and it’ll make the separation easier.
Mine took til about 2nd grade to finally stop the nervousness of leaving me the teachers will accommodate your child the best they can and it will all be ok!
She may cry when she starts school but after a while of going she will really get used to it and there are so many activities going on at school that she will soon forget about you leaving her there
Explain to your child what the schedule is going to be like and you will always be there for her… assurance is all you can give the child
My son was Like that then I dropped him off at kindergarten and he ask me why I wasn’t leaving fast enough lol
You are going to have to talk with her amd explain things to her. Sometimes Mama has to go to work or run errands and you go to school. It is okay if we are not together all the time. Talk to her first. Do a trial run. Got to the post office, something brief to let her see that you are okay and coming back. Bring her a treat or better yet give her something to look forward to when you return. When we get home we will play a ge together, watch a show, popcorn , or whatever she enjoys with you. Make school a big deal . Let her draw picture for her new teacher. Pack a favorite snack, Wear a pretty outfit, wear her hair a special way. What makes her happy ?? Read stories about going to school and how we are supposed to act. David goes to School , Pete, the Cate ! Message me if you need help.
Depending on her age you may be able to delay school another year. Or maybe try home schooling or half days for kindergarten.
If you follow through with school, ask the teacher or some school official if they will meet you outside to walk her in. That way she’s leaving you to go do something fun, you’re not leaving her. It sounds insignificant but it can make a big difference with some kids.
Also talk to her all about it so she knows what to expect. Some kids need time to mentally process inevitable changes before they happen.
My daughter went through it and still does from time to time she’s 4 almost 5 so it’s normal used to be a whole lot worse but she out grew it quite a bit.
If she was my daughter I would take her for play therapy. 
It’s normal honestly. A couple of weeks will go by and she will make friends and look forward to going to school
Prepare her as much as possible. Let her know what is coming. Don’t linger at drop off that makes it harder
My 4 yr old is an absolute Mama’s boy and started preschool Today! He completely surprised me and did Amazing! I’ve been sick to my stomach nervous about it, but I think it’s gonna be ok for us- and it will be for you! Kids are so adaptable and accepting- even if it’s a rocky start she’ll get the hang of it, so will you Mama. So will my son and I- positive thinking lol. Prayers and hugs Mama, starting school is a big thing 
A good teacher knows how to handle this situation…I know Im that teacher…We comfort, redirect, and help the child feel safe…and remind them that your mom/ dad will come back but they want you to have fun and not cry…at lease this is how I help children who have separation anxiety
It’ll be okay momma. It’s rough for a lot of kids but they get used to it and they will make friends and before you know it they will look forward to it. Just be patient with her and yourself while you both make the transition
Good luck. My daughter was like that too. Still is. I took her to the doctor she was diagnosed with separation anxiety. I put her in kindergarten(she was too advanced for preschool) and it lasted two weeks. Now, I homeschool her.
What ever you do don’t tell her how much you’re going to miss her or how lonely you’ll be without her! Tell her what a wonderful thing it is to go to school- how much fun she will have - the friends she will make.
I find it hard to believe that in 4 years you have never gone anywhere without her- haven’t you and your husband gone out to dinner? Movie ? A wedding or adult party? We always made it a rule to go out at least once a month and at least yearly go away for at least a long weekend.
Good luck with the school - be strong she will be fine .
My son was like that when he started kindergarten. I reassured him that I will always be there to pick him up. I also gave him my hair tie to wear around his wrist. I told him that my hair tie is something that I always wear so I want you to keep it on your wrist & when you start to miss me just know that I’m with you always. It really helped him. Maybe you can try something like that with your daughter. Good luck momma!
Following because my son never been away from me … He starts pre school end of this month . Special school for autism 
Remember that kids pick up on our anxiety also.
Have lots of talks about getting bigger, how fun school is, what you will be doing while she is at school, practice the routine with her before school starts, try going to the school together once or twice before it starts & make it sound really fun for her.
Sit down with her & make up a monthly chart. Use stickers each day she comes home from school & had a good day. On Friday if she has more good stickers than bad ones, she gets a special day with you on the weekend.
Last but not least, you & her pick out one special pocket sized trinket & both of you put “kisses” inside it 
whenever she’s feeling sad she can feel it in her pocket & know Mommy is sending kisses to her.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to get my attached daughter ready for school?
Leaving her little but often and slowly increase the time apart- so difficult but she’ll get there 
My son was exactly the same, I panicked when he started nursery as he had never been away from me…he surprised me and just walked in and said bye to me. Maybe explain to her she’s going somewhere she can play with other children see if it helps, she might surprise you and be fine
I had the same problem as a kid. I hated school and had separation anxiety from my mom. I would suggest therapy to understand why she feels the way she does and perhaps find a treatment that suits her needs so you both can withstand a healthy relationship. 
Be a god damn mother then. Step up and find out why your kid is acting like this.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to get my attached daughter ready for school?
When our daughter went to kindergarten, we couldn’t use the drop off cause our child would throw fits. We had to walk her in through the main entrance and even walk her through line to get her breakfast… When she started making friends, it got easier… But we still had to walk her in… 1st Grade, we couldn’t do that, and it resulted in a teacher forcefully grabbing her arm and i was not okay with that. So, we had it set up where she went through the door next to her class… We go tomorrow to meet the teacher and go over things… Not ready
Hopefully you’ll start to engage her with others stat!!
Even if for just small amounts of time.
She’s your only child it seems.? wishing someone/docs/family whom ever would have given you guidance, before now.
And for those with the laughing emojis, you’re not helpful or compassionate, so go away!
We were all first time parents, so you shouldn’t judge.
I work at a childcare facility and on average it takes 2 weeks for kiddos to get through their attachment issues.
We highly recommend a big hug, big kiss, “I love you so much. Mommy/Daddy will be back to get you later” and then walking away. A good teacher will do everything within their power to comfort your child. But lingering will not help them. Unfortunately it’s like a bandaid. They will eventually figure out that mommy/daddy does come back and get them. And they also build a secure attachment with their teacher.
I don’t know how soon she starts school or if you have time to do it, but maybe like a mothers day out thing. Drop her off and pick her up in a few hours, it gives her time to meet new people and you a little time to yourself. If she starts school soon, then she’s going to do just fine. She may struggle the first few days but she’ll get used to it.
I had the same problem with my daughter. She’s always been attached to my hip. She still is at 7 yrs old but it’s easier now than it used to be. I just sat her down & told her that she’s going to be starting school soon & she’ll be able to make all kinds of new friends & be able to play with them & have a great time but mommy can’t stay with you. You have to do this all by yourself. But it’s only going to be for a few hours & then I’ll be back to pick you up & take you back home.
As soon as the first day of school started, she was extremely excited, but I was a mess! I cried for a while. But she came back home & told me about her day & said that she had so much fun & that she can’t wait to go back the next day & that made me feel a lot better. It still breaks my heart to know that she’s growing up & I’m just not ready for that yet but I love hearing about how much fun she has at school. She’s still attached to me but it is easier for her to let go for a little while & have fun with other people/kids. I would just try to talk to her about it & let her know that she’s going to have a lot of fun with other kids.
Just be consistent. Let her cry, she will eventually start to understand the routine and won’t get so upset. It will be hard of course but I promise in time it will get easier and she will love school more than you know!
Let it happen, you’re going to be more worried than she is!! 
My son was like this for a while. I couldn’t even go to the bathroom without him crying. I started making a point to tell him good bye when I left as well as where I was going and when I’d be back and after about a week it was so much better!
My oldest did great the 1st week she started kindergarten. The second week is when she started having a hard time to really let me leave her there. So I told her I’d wait in the parking lot for her in the car. She was OK from then on out. She thought I was out there the whole time and if something did happen I was literally a 2 minute drive away
I teach kindergarten and I have a little boy who is 5 and has never been to daycare or school. It’s super rough, his mom literally just has to drop him off at my door and go. But the funny part is he doesn’t cry when she drops him off, but he does cry off and on most of the day. She’ll get used to it if she goes daily, most teachers and caregivers know what to do in this situations. Sometimes it’s worse on the parents, if she sees you upset…it’ll make it worse for her. Definitely be positive and upbeat at drop off and be extra ecstatic at pick up.
It’s hard to say a reason without more info but if it’s really severe she may need treatment for separation anxiety. Has she had trauma?
My son is a bit slow to trust people. I would hang out with her and the person babysitting and then leave for only a few mins. Then extend the time and leave a bit longer each time.
The other thing I’d when I taught little kids dance there was an example where the kid was anxious but she also was watching how the adult reacted. You have to watch how you are responding because they’ll be nervous if you are. After months of trying to go slow we eventually made her adult leave her there with me and she definitely cried and screamed and the other kids helped and by the end of the year she went on stage by herself and it was pretty amazing. We felt bad pushing her but it was worth it.
I’m in the same situation. 
except our daughter has never had a babysitter. Not even family. Just her dad and I, so I can imagine what tomorrow will be like.
All she’s anxious bout is if you’d come back. Maybe. Take her to family n leave but come back after a short amount of time and extend it to longer til her outbursts n anxiety is minimal n manageable
My son would throw himself on the ground and hold my leg. He’d cry and cry. The teachers were helpful,but if he saw that I was ok it helped. When I’d get in my car then I’d cry. It got easier with time. Part of it was my own problem because he was my baby and I believe he sensed I was sad to see him go. Stay strong and she’ll feed off of that.
Following! My daughters the same way but won’t start kindergarten til next fall. After her brother graduates in the spring 
She’ll cry at 1st, but will have fun and forget. Then everyday it’ll get easier because she’ll see all the people she knows there and become attached to them too. She’ll miss her school friends and teacher when she’s at home. When school is fun all the fear goes away. She’ll learn from the other kids too and see that they are not upset. There’s nothing to worry about.
Being a teacher who worked cafeteria duty for the first week of school with Kindergartners please please get her ready. These kids where crying and clinging to parents and here we are the second week and some of them still are.
She will get use to it, it’s amazing how quickly children adjust.
My little boy was exactly the same, after a couple of weeks he didn’t give 2 fucks x
My youngest was like this. I was VERY nervous how she was gonna handle school. We just started preschool. She’s been 3 days now. Before she kept saying she don’t wanna go to school. I said it’s not a choice you are getting older and now you need to go to school like your sisters do. She just kept saying nope she’s good! 
She cried the night before when I was trying to hype her up for school picking out her outfit and setting out her backpack. Then I go to take her and they don’t let us walk her to her class because of covid 
so she flipped out and we walked back to the car to let her gather herself and I just kept telling her she would have so much fun she won’t even miss mommy! I will just be missing her! We went back up and she held on tight but then she went in. Make sure to only talk about all the positive fun things she’s gonna do meeting new friends and having so much fun!! When I went to pick her up she was so happy and couldn’t wait to go back! Second day I picked her up and she was crying! I asked why and she said because her friend had to leave and get on the bus! She did the same today but I talked to her about her friend has to go home to see her family just like she’s doing! But we will keep seeing her every day! They just have to learn about all the new things going on and let them digest it and get used to it all. So many emotions they experience starting school. The more calm you are the more calm they will be!
Talk it up. My son was the same but when he went to school he loved plying with all the kids and learning. It all worked out
Start conditioning her thoughts… Go on YouTube and show her videos of kids having fun in school. It might help a bit. I’m a momma of 7 kids… Some went easily… one did not. It might be a struggle for a bit. Maybe even longer than a bit. She might give u a hard time until next year… some kids really don’t like being away from their parents and comfort zone.
Maybe it’s too soon for her to go to school. Our babies only need us for a very short time, why rush it. You are a good Mama.
My son was the same way. I ended up having my mom walk him to school on his first day but i pumped him up for days before that. He was still nervous but did soo good.
I work in a child are facility and my boss taught us that if the parent isn’t ok the child won’t be okay. You have to be confident in leaving her. Make sure to hug her, kiss her and let her know you’ll be back soon.
My son was the same way. First week was horrible, but his teacher was awesome at keeping him under control and he eventually calmed down and started having a blast.
I had to walk my son into school, through the breakfast line and wait with him until the bell rang to go to the classroom even then he didn’t want to go without me until he started 3rd grade. which he then just decided it was his time and he didn’t need me. Wow was it a mix of emotions. I was so happy we could use the drop off line and he was becoming more independent. But boy I didn’t know how much I needed that with him every morning. That was our routine for years!! Tears were shed but now it’s our new routine​:pray:t3:
My friends child was the same starting school to the point she was kicking and screaming being took in but education is a must and something they need in life even from an early age , she draw a little love heart on her kids wrist and one on her and they called it a hug so anytime throughout the day she was missing her mum she could hold her wrist close to her and it was a hug from mum , she’s now in her second year at school and goes in no bother atall it took her months to settle and was so hard on her mum but developing secure attachments with teachers and friends will only help her x
Once she goes to school she will love it… It’s hard to detach . When you love your kids immensely it’s harder. I wish I could keep her all the time.
So let her stay home, never go to school, and live off of you for the rest of both your lives…. I’m kidding…. Seriously though, COME ON!
Have you asked if is really crying for you or because of where she is? Try taking her to library with who ever it is have watching her. Show her books and computer and puzzles at the library. I say library because that’s the most school like setting. Have the babysitter read to her, draw with her and help her relax around the new surrounding. Go out in public with the sitter. Out lunch a trip the zoo or to the park. Have them play with her with you cheering her on. Sometimes it the place not the sitter that can be upsetting. I was worried about that for my son and daughter so also took them to " mommy and me" classes. Which also helped.
My girlfriend volunteered at the school library so that her kindergartener could visit her when he needed to.
It’s too late for you, but this is why, I always made sure, to leave my kids with sitters. From the ages of 6 months on, they were always with a friend, or family member, at least twice a week. They were attached to me, yes, but never once, did they have issues, when they couldn’t see me. And they certainly didn’t have issues going to school. My son was scared of the bus, his first day of pre-k. He cried when it moved, but it was done and over, in 5 minutes. I’ll never understand helicopter parents.
She will adjust! My downsie/autistic flipped out the first few days then calmed! (He’s a bus rider! I think it’s easier to put him on the bus rather than handing him over & having to walk away!) Monday was his first day of kindergarten & as soon as I put his backpack on he got grumpy 
I have 3 boys. None of them really had fear or anxiety about going to school. My first son, has a medical condition and would have to use a support device at times. He didn’t want to seem/look different to other students. He once had to wear a boot to support his ankle. This was when he was in 2nd grade I believe. He threw a complete fit about going into school. Wouldn’t get out of the car so I ended up having to park, drag him out of the vehicle with him hanging on with all his might. Let me tell you…a child with some heavy boot support on his foot doesn’t feel good against the shin. I managed to get him to the door on my hip along with an infant in a stroller and another hanging onto my shirt.
That was the most exhausting thing and emotional thing I’ve ever had to do. But we made it in the door, (the whole time…a line of cars watching this take place and no one offered to help), and straight to the principles office. I explained and left. He sat in her office, talked to her, and then went to class when he was ready.
I know that’s a different situation from yours but trust me…anxiety comes in all ages and for different reasons! Be strong and I promise, you and her both will figure it out and be ok! My oldest son is in his second year of college now, all on his own, and doing absolutely great!
My other two boys…senior and an 8th grader. I think they learned from their brother not to throw a fit about school cause Mama don’t back down! They both are also doing great!
Imagine their being single mummas in the world that don’t get help so they have their kids 24/7, I really don’t understand the laughing reacts
My youngest was horrible with this. Took him WEEKS to settle down, every school year from k4-2. 3rd grade was much better and now this year I really hope we have no issues
Start with leaving her for 10 minutes with relatives then increase the time until you can be gone for hours.
If you can afford it, put her in daycare, hourly. Just for maybe 3 hours, a few days a week.
She probably will cry. The teachers expect it and know what to do to help.
Start now. Leave for more time each day, even adding 5 min helps. Show her on the clock when you will be back and give her favorite toys to distract.
Home School, I sure wish I had been.
Girl all I can say is good luck! My youngest of 4 girls started kindergarten this week and every morning she’s having a complete breakdown hyperventilating and crying so hard! Screaming she’s scared and wants her mama etc. I feel awful having to force her out of the car to the teachers, I pray it starts getting better but 4 days in no change yet even at night she will cry begging me not to make her go the next day. Her separation anxiety is awful. I found bringing a book in the car to read in carline helps calm her a little bit but nothing else is working yet. My advice is to Just be patient be calm and keep reassuring her that she will love it and have so much fun. Good luck and my inbox is open if you have any questions or need someone to talk to who is going thru the same thing
It’s either start her as a gradual separation like more and more extended time apart like certain pre k programs or help from other households or just cold turkey when school time starts and I would prob think the first option is easier for both of you.
I drew a little face on my daughter’s palm. I also drew one on mine. I kissed hers, she kissed mine, and I told her that when she was missing me (and I her) to just hold the face on her cheek and that would be a kiss from me. It was simple but worked like magic. Once they find a little friend or get absorbed in activities the tears soon dry you. But it’s really hard - harder for you, mama-bear. Hugs. X
My baby is on her third day of school. I thought the same thing but she is loving it. Turns out I’m having separation issues. 
.
Stop not being mean but everyone tells me this to stop “coddling them” and let them be “independent” more like when they ask you to do something for them make them do it. Make them go play in their room without being attached to you in the house and then start leaving them with a sitter whilst away to get groceries or me time… honestly its gonna be hard and first few days to weeks will be hard at school but honestly do a drop off big hug kiss have a good day and then walk away and leave…
I had the same problem with my son . He actually loved it!
Start small and do it regularly building up the time by small increments each time,
Just because age says a child is old enough for school , somer times they are not emotionly ready
Let her cry, don’t give in.
It will be good for both of you!
You will be ditched for other kids
You just leave her…i had to do it with my youngest. It was hard to hear and see her cry at first but after about the 1st week she didnt care at all that I was gone.
I took my kid to therapy her was diagnosed with separation anxiety
I’ll never understand why people don’t prepare their children for school like you don’t know they have to go. This is insane to me. I have 2 kids and one is autistic. I never indulge negative behavior that’s why yall kids can’t handle the transition. And her child doesn’t have autism.
If you can, put her in pre-k. It’s only 3 hours long. The teacher & her aide will help her get through the day
The school I plan to send my son to does about three months of two days a week to introduce the kids to the classroom, desks, other kids in the class etc, before he actually starts school.
He’s also in daycare for two days a week at the moment which has helped a lot! 
Ya send her to school. At this point you cant do anything more to ease her into it as you have allowed it to go on so long. Putting her in daycare or preschool for a few hours a day would have helped
2 weeks…trust me it’s gonna be harder on you then her …stick it out…hug her then hand her off and don’t give in or skip any days… within two weeks all will be fine
u take her. u hug and kiss her tell her i love u have a great day and u walk away and go home/work lol the teachers will handle it after u leave
You’ll just have to let her cry until she gets used to it 
Hold her back one more year
Have you looked into therapy? They can really help with separation anxiety.
Following, currently dealing with this.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to get my attached daughter ready for school?
Youd be surprised what the kiddo can do when shes put in that situation. My 4 year old (just turned 4) starts pre k in September. She’s never been to a daycare or preschool bc of covid and Ive been a SAHM for 8 years. She has always been up my butt our school did a bridging week for upcoming pre k and kindies. I nearly cried when my insanely shy, wont leave my side (havent peed by myself in 4 years) just looked at me and said BYE MOM to a room full of kids. I was SHOCKED and a little taken back. 2 of 3 kiddos have now done this. Just, peace out mom ive got this. I almost teared up.
I know how this sounds, but honestly, leave her. Leave her somewhere trusted. Its hard. But they have to cry it out and get the comfort that they need thats not from you. My youngest never went anywhere without me, started pre k and she cried for a month straight. Every time i dropped her off and picked her up. But now after a whole year of school, she loves it. It takes time and routine will help with it also. Assure her youll always be there to get her also. Talk to the school if they can have stufffies at nap time.
Talk her thru it. Explain to her that your going to take her to school, that it’ll be fun she’ll have friends etc but you’ll always be back for her in a couple hours. My daughter was super nervous for school but I kept talking about how fun and good it was first day she went with no tears
I am dealing with this now, she started last Thursday and by today she was great! Walked in, kissed me and said bye! Each day will get easier, Mondays will always be the hardest though! You got this! Always reassure her you will be there to pick her up in no time!
I always found that explaining to her what to expect will help ease a bit. Of course. The 1st few days and maybe week, she will get separation anxiety and so will you. I sure know I still get it specially now that my daughter was home doing school virtually for the whole pandemic. It’s a matter of routine and assuring that you will pick her up as soon as school is over. It feels like it won’t work but it will. For my son, I even placed a picture of me in his notebook so he could have “me” with him. It takes time for the child as well as for you. Wish you the best