I need some advice or tips on how to deal with this certain type of pain. My partner of 5 years and I (we have two kids… both toddlers) decided to split up today, it’s something that’s we’ve been trying to push behind us, and we were fine for awhile and our relationship has just gone back to how it was. I dont want to get into details but basically we both came to the agreement that we deserve alot better than what this relationship is giving us.How do I finally accept that my family will be broken ?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to get over a relationship ending? - Mamas Uncut
It’s a process. I went through similar circumstances, and it just took time, determination and reworking our lives. We are still great friends and we’re great co-parents!
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Accept that your family was already broken.
Now you move on as a single parent. Work out visitation with regards to your children, any maintenance and keep things amicable if you can.
You’ll probably find that once they have moved out (or you have) that you will be feeling a lot less stress
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Sometimes, a “broken” family is so much better than an unhappy family. Can you and your ex coparent well? You guys may make better friends and coparents than spouses. And that’s ok! It may still take time. I’d focus on the babes and being happy doing things on your own. Fall in love with yourself.
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There’s really no remedy. Stay busy. And only time heals.
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Remember it won’t be broken forever and both of you will eventually find people who are better suited for one another , and with your kids being toddlers they should be good just be honest when they ask questions don’t bad mouth the other parent and don’t introduce them to anyone unless you know it’s going somewhere , our rule of thumb is 6 months wait period .
Your family is only broken if you let it happen. Just because the 2 of you broke up. Shouldn’t have any effect on the kids. You each didn’t break up with them. Move on and make your kids the center of family.
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it just happened, its fresh… until yall are actually separated in different households its not gonna be easy to get over…
I don’t think anyone can give you any tips on this it’s truly a process I finally hit my knees and begged God to take the pain away and handed it over to him
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Just take it one day at a time❤️get through today, then get through tomorrow…eventually the pain will fade❤️
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If your kids have healthy, safe, and loving parents and are given the opportunity for positive relationships with both of you, then their family is not broken. Separate does not have to equal broken.
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Ummm, this is brand new. The healing process hasn’t even started yet. I highly suggest you find a hobby or something to focus on like yoga or a reading club and do some self love and self healing.
My advise is,
First- don’t run from the pain, feel it and deal with it head on 
Second- don’t jump into another relationship too fast. Give yourself time to heal
Third- pray 
Jesus is awesome
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Have your tried counseling? Having 2 toddlers is very trying on anyone, your both probably burnt out from everything and need a break, it’s so hard I understand. Hopefully you both are going to be coparenting and can and it’s not all on just one parent. Sending your prayers
You may need someone to talk to to help you get through and over this final separation. I would suggest you look for a counselor, covered by your insurance. You may also want to put any child custody agreement you reached in writing while you both are in good terms.
if the man loves his kids, nothing is really broke, yes you both know you both are better apart, but again if you both love your kids, everything will be fine. Be happy that you are apart, it the best all around
You gotta go do all the things you couldn’t do while you were with him. Not necessarily controlling things, but we all have little or big things we wanted to do that our partner didn’t so we never got to. Do those things! Make a bucket list of things that have nothing to do with the relationship just things you have never done that you can do in the present. The more you fill your time the easier it will be.
It’s not something you just get over. Some takes months, years sometimes never. You take it one day at a time. Don’t jump into another relationship. Worry about your kids and yourself.
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What would b worse would b staying in a loveless relationship for yourself, and especially for your kids! You will find so much peace after u n your kids get settled. Prayers🙏
Not being rude. But if you both decided it’s broken. Can’t both of you decide you can fix it. Broken can be fixed. It takes communication and dedication. Sounds like there is still love but no communication.
They’ll have to accept. Your happiness is paramount
its only as broken as you make it, work with your ex to make it easier on all of you, especially the kids…you loved each other once it doesn’t just disappear because you find you have moved on in different directions…breathe
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First, stop looking at it as your family is broken. Look at it as you can both finally put yourselves back together for the best scenario for your children.
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Couples counseling would be my suggestion…it’s sounds as if you both made the decision…so it wouldn’t be out of the question to go for a while…but you both have to be willing!
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You have to look at the separation differently, your family is broken only if you and your ex allow it , a separation can open the door to a better relationship between the both of you , of course is painful and not “ the ideal “ to raise our kids , but kids should not be the reason to be unhappy in a relationship.
You will always be family, so try to have a amicable relationship so you can co parent the kids in a healthy environment.
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I finally realized I want to be with someone that wants to be with me…It’s really as simple as that…If they don’t I don’t want to force it…
Only with time. It’s new so it will hurt
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You’re looking at it the wrong way. Your idea of a broken home, is your current reality. You must accept it. And understand your own words. You both deserve better. And you will get better with time. I praise you and your co parent for doing this amicable. It isn’t easy trying to co parent. But it’s doable. Especially when you both come to an agreement that works for all involved. Now is your chance to have a friend in your co parent. It will be easier down the line.
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It may not be what you had planned, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be beautiful.
Take one day at a time. Take time for you to process everything and it will take time your emotions will run hi and low, just one day at a time.
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A broken family is better than having an unhappy one. If staying together was causing you both to be miserable your kids pick up on that. You moving on to find happiness is actually a great way to show your kids what a healthy relationship should look like. It took me a long time to reconcile that a broken family sometimes is necessary. Get some counseling and figure out what you really want out of life and your next relationship so you can make better choices going forward. Your kids are going to see their parents doing better and they will be happier for that. It may be a rough transition at first but they will eventually understand. I went thru divorce and moved on from things. My kids were happier after. You have to understand that no ammt of toxicity in a relationship is worth passing down to your kids just on the idea that your family is together. Families have all sorts of compositions and they don’t have to be perfect to be good. My blended family is absolutely amazing and I have since found an amazing life partner who gets me and makes me happy. It’s not perfect by any means but we both put in the effort to make it work. You have to find someone who shares your values and life goals and who will support you in achieving the dreams that you have for yourself and your kids. When you find it you will just know. The next person should add so much value to your life that you don’t know what you ever did before them. Hang in there. Life has a way of getting us where we need to go. Take some time to know yourself and love yourself for now. When we love and respect ourselves we attract better people to our orbit.
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You don’t you just have to push through I’m in the same boat except I have 4 kids and one on the way it’s hard very hard but if it’s for the best for you him and your kids then keep that thought it does get easier with time you just gotta keep pushing through everyday not just for you but your kids good luck:pray:
Firstly, it’s only just happened.
Give yourself time to grieve.
Next, sit and think about what you DO have, and what you are grateful for. Even the simplest things. Slow down and appreciate what you have in that moment.
Just take things day by day while you heal.
Do things for yourself that you may not have done while you were with him. Be kind to yourself x
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You never will since you don’t want to push the differences and give the energy to make it work just learn to take care of your self and your kids! -
It’s not a broken family, it just looks a little different from the stereotypical image of one that we all have. It took me a long time to come to terms with that. Once I had, things became a lot easier.
Don’t rush into any new relationships
Be self caring
Time is the only cure
Don’t accept that. It’s not broken. It’s different. Maybe if you’re apart and both happy then it’s better for everyone? Different isn’t broken .
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It’s not broken, it’s just going to change. And it’s going to benefit the kids in the long run, because having two happy parents is a far better model than staying in an unhappy relationship.
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Have you tried marriage counseling? It might help you fix what’s broken if you’re both willing to listen, take a hard look at yourselves and do the work.
Really has nothing to do with your Family, If they love you they should think of you only, yes they could be a bit upset at first, but as long you are happy, so be it.
That’s something you’re going to have to come to terms on. My ex and I were the same way, and when we broke up it changed everything. But to be 100% honest, we were better apart than together. I don’t know the details of your relationship, but we would always argue, often in front of our son, and a child doesn’t need to see or hear that from their parents. I wish you luck mama, and hope you have the strength to do what needs to be done
Make a choice about everything. Whatever you choose stick with it.