I am struggling hard getting over my ex. For the past three years or so, we’ve constantly have been on and off. We have one child together. I even moved to another state to get away from him and start all over. I was doing great until June last year we started talking again; he moved to my current state, and ever since then, it’s been a mess. I caught him numerous times messaging texting IG with other females. I don’t trust him at all. I know he’s not good for me. I’m not really happy with him. However, I love and miss him constantly on a daily basis. I just want to be over him. I’m exhausted from this. I want to be happy. I’m constantly wondering what and who he’s with. I don’t want to care about him anymore. But I’m so lonely. I’m depressed because of this. I just wish he loved me and would be faithful, but that’s not gonna happen. I always read online about men cheating and not being good to their gf or wives. Is this just the new thing.? Do I just settle, so my kids have a family. I don’t know anymore. I’m just focused on my kids, and I work full time. I keep busy. I’m not interested in dating right now. Thank u for any advice or positive stories
Best way to get over one man is to get under another sis.
Kids are NOT an excuse to be stay in a miserable place. That itself can cause more damage tha leaving.
I’m going through the same thing. I wish I could give you better advice but just keep going. Someone will come in to your life that will distract you. Doesn’t have to be a guy it can be a friend. Block your ex on all social media and don’t check it, don’t keep tabs on him. It’ll be hard at first but it’ll get easier. Set boundaries for yourself. Sleeping with someone else might help temporarily but won’t be a long term fix if you don’t keep them around.
Kick him to the curb!!! He will only do it again. Then come back everytime at his convenience!!!
Do not settle. You only get one life so do not settle for anything! That’s not something you want your kids to learn. Get someone who deserves you. He can always see your all’s child. Just keep working & focusing on yourself & the kids & the rest should fall in place. True love comes when you least expect it.
Your teaching your kids it’s ok for a man to treat you like that.
Time can heal all wounds. If you keep letting him come back because your heart is aching, you will never heal from it. If you want to be done with him you have to be. You need to find a way to only care about him as the father of your child. Being alone doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It can be a time of finding yourself all over again, discovering who you are or want to be, and a time to decide what’s the best path for you and your child. You will realize that time spent worrying about what he is doing can be a waste of time. Find out what you want, like, or just find you. It will hurt for awhile but day by day it gets easier. Love yourself and your child. Once you love yourself you will find out that those who don’t treat you right don’t matter and shouldn’t be in your life, and then happiness will come along. Best of luck in whatever journey you decide to take.
Try a new 
and you’ll get over him fast
Same situation except the moving part. He broke up with me right before our son was born and he keeps just a tiny bit of hope alive for a relationship and working our family out then rips it away when I give him the ultimatum I’m losing this game and my sanity, your child is a part of you and him… take that and goooo. That’s what I had to do. I love my son he looks identical to his daddy so I will always have a part of the Good times we had. You don’t deserve being treated this way, somebody else will cherish you and put a rock on that finger that leads directly to your 
. Stay strong, don’t give him no more coochie and keep your game face on.
You should NEVER settle! And it sounds to me you are in love with the idea of him not him! Block him on everything and every time you want to reach out to him call your best friend or close family to remind you of why you are doing what you are doing. Another thing that helped me was to write out all the good and all the bad so when I felt lonely and weak I would read it to snap myself back into self care!
Omg please please hear me out I went through this same exact thing literally!
1 child together
Moved to a different state
Let me tell you I wasted 18 years of my life on this 1 person who did nothing but lie , Cheat and be emotionally abusive ! He was a terrible terrible person and father !
I was never with anyone else and he was with EVERYONE!
It has negatively affected my whole entire life !
I’m now 39 and our son is 19 and only for the last 4 years have I not given a crap about him or what he does!
It’s hard ! So so so hard but please do not put yourself through another day of this !!
You deserve so much more and so does your child 
A god love you sunshine, it will get better, you can’t give your love, if your not getting it bk hun, ask yourself that, I know it’s hard, start going out with friends and family, get yourself out there, just for fun like you need this hun, don’t waste anymore time thinking about him, he’s just not worth your love, stop been hard on yourself, get a new stile, spend time on yourself and get out there hun, always remember if you go bk Notting will charge, keep that in your mind hun, I will help you get thru, put some music on every day you like, wen cleaning or doing anything, its helps, happy stuff like, best of luck to you 
…
Watch some of Ace Metaphors videos he is 100% worth watching
I was with my ex for 20 years, he cheated on me our entire relationship, we have two kids together and I basically stayed with him because I couldn’t imagine seeing him with someone else. We went back and forth for years I would take him back then kick him out etc… finally i decided I was done for good and was like good luck to the next girl who gets that messy man I’ve had for years knowing he was never going to change! Well it’s been about 6 years and I’m so glad I made that move, I’m actually friends with his now girlfriend and he’s still the same way with her that he was with me I feel sorry for her but I warned her about him. He stills try’s to get back with me but I tell him no thanks I left you for a reason!
U should date
Even though ur not interested
That part of the process of getting over him and it helps to get a hobby to not be so lonely or desperate to be a stalker on his life. Take vitamin D it helps with depression.
Listen gurl…all that love…time…and energy your pouring into him…u need to turn around n pour it all into yrself…n thats how u will get over him. Mourn the loss of yr love 4 him n then let it go. Do a spa day, start a slow work out routine, cook more at home, get into a movie series, catch up with old friends…that will help keep u busy…time will heal yr pain I hope. Good luck my friend… I too have been there
YOU DO NOT NEED ANOTHER MAN. if you want to be over him get a hobby, hangout and make plans with your friends, make up adventures with your little one and focus on you. Block him, no contact and go live your life! These women saying get another or screw another smh only brings you more heartache, increases your chances of catching something along with what trust issues your already having you’ll take into a new relationship. Heal yourself first
It helps to remember love and emotions are biochemical signals. Whether it’s his looks, or smell, or how he makes you feel, you feel about him the way you do because it makes your body release oxytocin or serotonin or dopamine. The reality is you and your brain know the person isn’t doing you any good. You don’t really want or need HIM. You’re missing some way he makes you feel, which is biochemical reaction a lot like a drug, or sugar or fat. This has often helped me move on. The person is never going to be a positive part of your life. You miss feeling loved and you will find it with a better person, your child or within yourself.
If you’re a young woman I get it. But as I’ve aged I’ve learned this type of relationship doesn’t work.
However until you are ready to let go you’ll keep going back know matter how he treats you.
Falling in love …and falling out of love both take time …
It’s so hard when the heart is involved. There can be deep roots. For me, my ex was an alcoholic and was pretty awful when he was drunk. My rock bottom breaking point I had to make a choice to go down with the ship or let that part of myself die so I could move on. And it just clicked. I had no more love for him. I really can’t transfer that to you but just share. Maybe it’s different for others. My heart goes out to you!
If your only interested in your kids right now,why you worried about him? If you were so fed up you’d kick his ass to the curb. Do you really want better for yourself and kids? Walk away. Focus on you and your child/Ren
Your crazy, you need to know thats not normal to love a pig man. Sorry
Hi. Sorry you are having a hard time. I was married for 20 years and had 7 kids…then found out for the last 6 years he had multiple affairs. I don’t think it’s a new thing, but I do feel that the good ones are a lot harder to find. I have realized that it really didn’t matter who or what I was he would of cheated and not thought twice about our children and the struggles he caused them. There really should be a application for becoming a parent…Personally idk if I believe once a cheater always a cheater but I do believe that if you accept the way he’s treating you once then more than likely it’s going to happen again. I know it’s hard and a struggle but stay strong so that you can be a example for your baby’s. My 2 oldest sadly are falling in my footsteps and it’s one of the biggest struggles and most painful things to watch 
I tell them, “I’ve been there and done that…please listen to me” but they follow what they saw not what I said.
Keep your head up Momma…you got this!
Mmmm seems like you need to love yourself first, you cannot love someone when you don’t love yourself , that’s not love its been a masochist. First of all you are afraid of being lonely , so you let him come to you all the time and he knows that you are always available when he gets bored of fucking a girl… stop being a doormat!! Be single and enjoy yourself and your baby , love will come at the right time, but you won’t get to know real love if he is still coming to your life like this.
You don’t need to be over him to set boundaries. And that means making sure he understands that you are no longer willing to be in a relationship of any kind with him unless it pertains to co-parenting the child. Time is what you need but you can’t be back-and-forth.
You can even have a friend, family member, or appointed Person to do drop off in pickups if seeing him in person is too much. Keep all contact through text only pertaining the child, That way you don’t even have to speak.
Find hobbies and make goals for yourself. Stay active and find it In yourself to be thankful and positive… You don’t get anywhere moping around. I watched alot of motivational speakers… Trent shelton is amazing and has down to earth Advice … he helped me through some dark times. Once you start making progress open the doors to dating, online dating is a huge way to keep your head busy, and a possibility to open future doors.
The laugh reacts… 
Just move on. He won’t change! He knows you’ll keep going back.
Never settle. I did for years with the same cheating asshole. Turned abusive every time I found out. Told me no one would want me. I left. And now I’m in a HEALTHY and great relationship. Trust me. Don’t settle.
U need to learn to love urself more and put ur child in a better position…not easy so god luck! Wishing u the best
I would recommend finding a good counselor. Many times women who get attached to men who mistreat them have underlying attachment issues from childhood. My childhood was very traumatic and my counselor helped me work through my attachment to chaos. And trust issues. Work on you, love yourself and your little and find someone to help you learn how to find a good love. This guy is abusive and horrible and the fact that you are still attracted to him shows you have some healing to do. Much love and best wishes.
I would do what is right by you and your kids if you want to leave him leaving if you don’t you don’t
You get what you settle for.
Try counseling. It’s a mental issue. It doesn’t make sense to put up with all of that and sometimes you need a counselor or a psychiatrist to help you get through it
Get out there in the dating world! Don’t date him anymore!
Living together? This is not new. Cheating has been around for a while. He has some kind of control over you. You were doing fine UNTIL he contacted you in another State. He knows he can reel you in when he wants to. Positive note move if you are living with him. If he is living with you he needs to find a place for himself. You need a ‘Time Out’. Rethink your decisions and write down the pro’s and con’s being with him. Confuses the kids with a revolving door.
Girl, I’ve been there done that. Its super hard to move on but for your hearts sake you gotta. Going back to him is like “ripping a band aid off the sore” you’re never going to heal. Maybe find some good friend’s and when you have time away from kids hang with them or maybe join a gym or spin class. Just to keep the mind off him. He KNOW wtf he’s doing. He knows you love him. He’s playing games with your mind & heart. #Douchebag
Never settle… you and your children deserve more.
It seems like you made your mind up , but yes he never would change and you should stay single for now, when you ready you can date… Remember to keep going for you and your kid good luck:dizzy:
You need boundaries and to focus on loving and valuing yourself. Time and distance will do the rest.
Remember the disrespect he has for you
No you don’t settle. Do you want your kids to think this is what a relationship looks like? Leave for your kids. They deserve better.
Sometimes you learn that what you truly love and miss the idea of what could or used to be. Its not a crime to care for him as you do have a child together. It takes time to separate those emotions and thats okay. Do not settle. There are good men. Take time to look at all the reasons this past relationship didnt work and keep them as lessons.
It’s not good for your kids to grow up thinking it’s ok to stay in unhealthy relationships
Poor girl 
I’m sorry. I feel the same way. I always wonder if I should just settle because no man can be loyal
Why do we always fall the bad ones but leave for
your kids but mainly you you already work so that’s
good
Honestly after going thru the exact thing with my ex for 17 years(married 20) it took me almost 4 years 2 b happy being single. I’ve dated but not anyone I was really into. So now it’s just me n I’m finally happy. U just gotta go thru the hurt n find a way 2 deal with it. I chose no contact after the divorce. That has helped a lot. I’m more mad at myself 4 staying as long as I did. If there’s lies theres secrets n that’s never good. Give urself some time n understand it will b hard for a while.
From someone who’s gone through this, WALK AWAY AND STAY AWAY!!! Obviously you guys are not good together, let your baby see what a healthy relationship is, and don’t talk to him unless it’s about the baby, PERIOD!!!
You already know the answer…
Block him on everything even your phone… and never look back.
Don’t settle. I’m now with an amazing man whom I trust completely. He treats me and my son very well. You too will find someone like that when you’re ready to date
Sounds like you need your own identity. Your not happy without him because you don’t feel complete as a person when he’s not there. I think you’ve loved and relied on him too much and the loneliness comes from not being happy within yourself.
Literally only focus on yourself and your child. Like every thought you have about him ask yourself like what’s the opposite thought or the healthy way to look at it even if you don’t feel it. I feel we enter toxic relationships and we put so much importance on these attachments that you’re in a viscous cycle of abuse and it feels like you’re choosing it but it’s more complicated than that. Look into trauma bonding and research things that can help you change. It’s not easy. It’s like being dragged by your hair through shards of glass while on fire. And a lot of it is on your own. Hopefully you have one person in your life who is positive and has your best interest at heart. I hope this helps. It’s not easy to change patterns of behavior for anyone ever. Give yourself compassion and don’t be so hard on yourself. If someone makes you feel like shit it’s about them not you. Some people manipulate you into feeling so low and when they have you in that state that’s where they are their happiest and it’s like their little secret. It’s sick and there’s more ppl like that out there than you think
This sounds like a case of “better to love the devil you know than the angel you’ve never met”. But you need to think about what kind of example you’re setting for your kids and they need to see momma happy and strong…A woman who knows her worth and doesn’t need a man to define her. Give yourself and your children a chance at happiness and learn To Love YOU…that’s the best relationship to have😉…move on- he doesn’t deserve you.
You have to cut the strings completely , block him erase all new and old messages. Erase photos. ErAse him. Never look back. That’s the only way
The best way to get over one is get under another lol
That’s not true that I men are not loyal. I was married for 33 yrs til 2014 when my husband passed away. He never cheated, never strayed, never abused myself or my 3 sons. My sons are now in their 30’s and 2 are married and in healthy relationships. Please don’t settle because your child should know that this is not good for mom or dad. You can be good parents for your child apart and maybe both of you will find healthy relationships then…best of luck:heart:
You are not sick and tired of his bs or you would be able to move on. I’d rather cry alone than cry with someone who doesn’t care for me. Good luck