How to get over my spouse when divorcing?

If you’re talking on the phone for hours, maybe something is still there?

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Maybe some therapy/counseling to help with feelings and steps to take with moving forward

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I’m still not over my ex. Even after 23 years I still cry at times and I always miss him. I pray you have better luck getting over yours than I have had. I’m lucky I have the Lord to help me go on.

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Its gonna take time. But talk to a therapist. And try to focus on you and the kids

If you are a regular at church, talk to you pastor/priest too.

Crying just once or twice a week is better than every day. Sounds like you are moving forward little by little. One day you will wake up and say. Wow I feel good. Have faith in yourself

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Who wanted the divorce? Sounds like yall still love each other!! Go to counseling. Dont give up on the marriage!! Even if one was unfaithful you can make it!!

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Do things that you’ve always wanted to or enjoyed doing but never/rarely did because he didn’t want to.

I’ve also seen some women do a photo session of them destroying their wedding dress, but that doesn’t seem appropriate to your situation.

And time. Self love. Work towards goals and continue hobbies or find new ones. Hugs

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Give it all to God he will Take of All

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Soumds like u r doing a great job so far. Increase your visiting/socializing with your girlfriends. Go out at least once a week with them.

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Time and Counseling helped me.

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Well if you two tried everything to make it work and after 6 years of marriage 2 years dating then I guess you gave it your best and it wasn’t enough to keep you together. I will tell you one thing I was married we lived in Hawaii he went to California to get a job was going to send for us six month later he comes back asked for divorce because he met someone and was having a baby with her. He already had a two and one year old with me and I was 21 one very young naive young lady… I stayed single the rest of my life raising my kids well he gave me another child right before he got married again. He never had anything to do them. It was easier for me but the kids had wished he come to see them he did a very few times that was it. They are 40 39 25 then my grandkids. Being single parent is hard for some but not me I got all the good the bad and ugly I was okay with that. Just be careful when dating people need to be careful run a back check weather you meet in person or on the internet some people look to do us single Moms and our child harm so alway do background check. I never invited anyone around my kids and I still don’t do it because I have grandkids now 21 8 so better safe then sorry. I think all you need to do for yourself forgive him and yourself for all the old mess ups then go fill yourself up with everything that good. Buy a new outfit get your hair done look in the mirror and say this is going to great I still beautiful young and I have my whole life ahead of me. You get do whatever you. You should be jumping up and down. Good luck if you need help ask know one knows what your thinking.

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When I came to grips that my husband no longer to be with me, I got up, shook myself off,held my head up high and didn’t look back. I became excited about something new in my life and started building it.

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I can’t totally relate to you I was married 10 years together for 15 we have a 4&6 year old together and he was a selfish narcissist but I never seen that until he left me I still love him and I am also looking for ways to not hurt anymore I have started replacing things in my house my bedding my kitchen table my curtains bought some rugs let my kids paint their rooms crazy colors we even bought unicorn stencils to paint on the walls and it’s helped just changing the look so I don’t see him and our memories everywhere we look good luck in your journey

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Simple…give yourself time. Literally nothing else is going to make this healing process any quicker.

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It takes time. You are doing the right thing already by getting out and having plans with friends.

So a cord cutting ceremony! It is a spiritual way of severing the tie that you have. It can be religious or not. It helped me with my ex and moving forward. Good luck, I know how hard these things can be.

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No advice. Prayers u get the strength 2 move on. It just takes time.

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Just keep busy…I remember going to Target or Walmart and just walking around for hours just killing time. Coloring books with kids, arts n crafts, drink w friends or family and on weekends it was zoo or movies or camping with family, yard sales, walking was great…I would walk and cry and cry and cry. I would feel better and kids never saw me fall apart. Then one day I didn’t think of it as soon as I woke up and I knew it was gonna be ok. No contact is best. Good luck! It gets better!

Emotional roller coaster. Honestly time helps. It’s been 2 years and I’ll be good for the most part. However, sometimes stuff hits me where I want to cry. Maybe a day or a few days and then I’m good again. I do highly recommend a counselor and a free group called divorce care

If your are having a hard time with a divorce then y get a divorce sometimes people give in to easy love was never ment to be easy

what your going through is a grieving ‘’ living death’’ perhaps follow the 5 stages of grief you are doing all the things like journaling not wanting to jump into another relationship you need to grieve this one first to put it behind you and learn the lessons you need to learn . there is no steadfast time frame everyone goes through it in their lives if not a divorce then a separation that finally leads to a divorce. if your spouse cheated on you that is a whole different story you did nothing wrong …don’t start justifying the ill of his ways by using the term that starts off as ‘‘if only i had done this or that’’… you will get to the end and be a better person for it good luck

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to get over my spouse when divorcing? - Mamas Uncut

When I was going through my divorce it was tough. All you can do is remember the good times you have from the past. Focus your time on your child and yourself. The more you put the focus on the two of you the easier it will get

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It’s a process that’s all! Feel it cry and mourn your best friend, it takes time.

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I was with my high school sweetheart for 27 years, married 22 years and 4 kids. It’s been 6 years. I cried every day for a year, I finally had to give it to God. I am still single because I needed time get back to who I am because you lose yourself after being married or so long. I did a program through a church called divorce care, it helped. My advice is to rediscover yourself, focus on loving yourself and your child. It does get better in time. My ex is now in a new relationship and while the initial shock of that hurt, he is happy and I am happy for him.

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All you can do is one day at a time. You are doing what you need to.

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It takes time u will get over him but u must forgive him first then everything will fall in place but be patient

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Time and prayer :pray: will heal you.And put u in a happy place.Never be bitter

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Divorce Care program really helped me.

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Talking everyday is not allowing you to heal . A man generally moves on faster but a woman has to heal . Now a days most teenagers have cell phones and I had all communication go through them it was different circumstances but it work for me .

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I was married to my ex for 25 years together for 28. It was devestating in the beginning. Like you I don’t want to date. I have learned to love myself and enjoy being. By myself and not having to answer to someone. I cried for the first year and a half but now I am ok.

It’s a process. You have to go through it to get to the other side. Remember that when the pain and panic flare up, be able to recognize when you’re feeling that way and remember it’s a normal part of what you’re going through. Good luck :blush:

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It just will take time. Just keeping busy and doin positive things like u r helps. All u can do really! If u find urself feeling to low and not able to function get on antidepressants to help for awhile. beIN alone is a hard thing to navigate thru when u have been married for awhile. Time is the key and patience with urself as u go thru emotions. Usually when u hit an anger phase u r getting to the other side.

It takes at least a year just to come to terms with trauma take your time feel what you have to and heal before you do anything else pray for Gods guidance.

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I was with my ex husband for for 13 years of marriage and together since middle school. I left him 3 years ago. Time does heal all wounds but it does take time. It took me a good year or so to get over the hurt and tears!! Just keep focusing on you mentally and physically. My children was a big part of my focus and that helps tremendously!! After 3 years a memory will pop up in my mind and I still feel an ache in my heart but nothing like in the beginning. Praying for your healing through this. It will get easier.

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It will take time to establish a new normal, but, are you sure you want a divorce and want to get over him?

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It takes time and everyone is different. Be gentle and patient with yourself and move forward. You’ve got this! :slightly_smiling_face:

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I imagine it takes time. You were each others other halfs for 8 years. Those feelings dont magically go away.

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There really is no time when A relationship ends when you’ll be feeling better. Its different for everyone. Just take things day by day and dive into doing things and taking Care of things for your health and mental well being… like your daughter and some things you listed. There will always be heartache at the end of every relationship.

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You’ve come to the right place to get expert advice on personal relationships

If you’re crying I’m not sure that you’re ready for divorce. Because when you are done you know your done. No tears or regrets

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to get over my spouse when divorcing? - Mamas Uncut

Sounds like you are doing all the right things. Only thing that will make it better is time. If therapy is your thing I recommend it. It truly can help. Talking to someone, even for a short time, to release old feelings/wounds can make you feel just a little bit better. Otherwise keep your head up and keep doing what your doing.

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Embrace the pain, give yourself time to emotionally heal, be kind to yourself, you will get there. You might even have those moments in future where you will see or find something that will make the pain all flood back, but it’s all part of the healing process. And then you will smile, and realise how strong and resilient you are. You are truly blessed :heart: you’ve got this :+1:t3::pray:

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I strongly recommend therapy to help you work through your feelings. Take the time to feel your feelings when they hit- it takes time, but you will eventually run out of tears when it’s time. Create some boundaries between you and your ex to protect your peace - you are not obligated to be his person anymore. Eventually, you’ll get to a place you realize that YOU are your best company. Just stay strong. I believe in you mama. :heart:

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Dear, ima say something that’s not gonna be popular with u or anyone else….I truly believe you two should get some counseling and TRY TRY TRY to stay together. It’s obvious u love each other. Sometimes when we marry too young, we start thinking the romance is gone, so let’s divorce. NOT TRUE! Now u have a daughter who NEEDS her mom and dad TOGETHER!! I can PROMISE U that the grass is NO greener on the other side!! Please work it out. I’m begging you!

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My ex and I only communicate about our children and only by text. My prayers are with you.

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Question do you still love him? can yall save yall marriage? can yall go to marriage counseling?? Divorce is never easy but if yall still have strong feelings for each other maybe take things slow and try again but don’t rush to move back in with each other work on yourselves and take it from there. But if your done with the marriage then yes only talk when it is about ya’ll child. But if your grieving alot then follow your heart and pray for each other.

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Crying is healthy. Cry. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. Get a good therapist and go weekly or bi weekly for 6-12 months of not more. Stick to only talking about divorce and child. Keep busy. Date YOURSELF. Stay single until your have truly processed this with your therapist and feel 100% on your own two feet… physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

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Be kind to yourself and just give yourself time. It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to grieve the end of your relationship. You are WAYYY ahead of a lot of people i know that have gone through a divorce. Keep doing things for yourself and just keep working on yourself. The time will come when it gets less painful. Just give yourself the grace and time and keep doing what you’re doing!

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Time and a lot of things with the kid. My kids and I will go on a nature hike when I feel overwhelmed and it helps me clear my mind and its free

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Therapy has helped me… I’ve been single for almost 8 years because I just couldn’t. Now I’ve been in counseling for a long time and I’m actually starting to feel better, I’m not constantly missing and loving my past. Maybe eventually I will find my new person.

Time. Allow yourself to grieve the relationship. Find yourself again and give yourself time.

healing process, time, getting out helps, good luck honey i was married35 years thought i was having a mental break down,

You’re still going to go through the same hurt till your body and mind let’s go. I went through the same thing. And it’s hard. But every day gets better. Because when you actually see him with someone else that’s when you will get your feelings hurt again you just have to be strong and not let it affect you. Which is hard. And it looks like you’re doing everything that you can to help yourself distance from him. I do advise therapy because I didn’t do it and I believe it would have helped me get through it better.

Counseling. Friends and family for support. It took me 2 years to stop being sad. I still miss the relationship sometimes, but not him.

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You need to find who you are without him. Once you do that then everything will come together

No advice but you’re not alone. I feel this so hard :black_heart:

Sorry it sounds like you’re better off now, don’t worry it takes time to fully get over a long term relationship

I don’t have advice but would just like to add that this particular post did not deserve a laughing emoji, shame on you

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Hard to say without knowing more. Time will help but maybe addressing the reasons for divorce will help even more. Good luck to you.

Give yourself some time, keep busy ,don’t jump into dating until you feel ready

Stop talking to him unless it’s about the kids, lol. It’s literally as simple as that. It will take time and it won’t be easy, but the first step to moving on is letting him go. Remove him from your social media so you don’t see anything he posts that might trigger you. Kick him out of your personal life and keep it at co parenting. You can be civil with him later on for the kids when you both have moved on, but he’s no longer your person and the sooner you accept that the better off you’ll be :woman_shrugging:t2:

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I bought bed sheets he never slept on!

Time…you can’t force it.

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Take time to get over it! It will happen!

Sometimes it just has to hurt. Grieve the loss and give it time.

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You need time to grieve…let yourself cry, scream, whatever you need. This is the death of the life you thought you were going ot have in the future…you have to grieve it. After that take small steps to find new things that interest you or return to hobbys you haven’t done in a while.

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Keep moving forward. I’m going through a difficult time also.if you wanna reach out I’m here

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It takes time…your doing the right stuff so just keep doing what your doing love

Keep busy and plan more events and time with your child

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Find yourself first. People make the mistake of moving on when they have not healed and all that does is bring pain with you to the next person. Cutting contact except for the kids is the best thing for the both of you. Its okay to cry. Never stuff it away. Let yourself feel it. Release that pain.

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My heart hurts for you as I went through something similar several years ago. The best advice I could give you is get connected with other single moms. Lean into each other. Looking back, the pain and the tears I shed were painful in the moment but they prepared me for some greater things. Take your time in healing. It may not seem fair but life does go on. And greater things are coming.
One thing my son and I loved to do was mommy/child dates. Go get pedicures. Go to the movies. Get crafty! Have fun! Life doesn’t end with the loss of someone who doesn’t deserve your goodness. :heart:

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Time… lots of time. I was married for 18 years and even though I have moved on in life. Divorce is a death of what once was and you need to grieve it as such. Staying in touch is hard, especially when children are involved. I would say stop all conversing. Only let them facetime the child or call the child but no calling you or face timing you or no text that dont concern the child. Remove the person’s picture from your phone Id. You need to have a new perspective on this. And you need to start being more positive in your life. Looking forward to things YOU like or things that YOU want. Things for just you and your child. Even though your not interested in dating, going on dates is a productive way to move past the feelings you still hold towards him. Let yourself be happy. Best of luck

I once explained to my family that my divorce was like a death to me. The partner and family I once had no longer was. It took some time and a lot of crazy. I focused on why the marriage ended. What was so crappy about the life we had together. Focusing on the bad showed me how horrible it really was.

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So process THRU it instead of trying to get over it.
Cry, think, sort the pros & cons. Ending a marriage is tough but if you handle it in a healthy way it’s easier every day.

New routines, friends & experiences will go a long way in healing your pain, but you must feel it & process it to get past it.

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Sweetie, it takes time. You are going through the grieving process, a lost marriage and someone who was an important part of your life. It will take as long as it takes. You sound like you are doing things that will help you. Again, just give it time and it will take as long as it takes. One day you will wake up and find that it doesn’t hurt as much anymore and you can think about it in a peaceful way. Be kind and good to yourself and keep close to God. God bless you, heal you and give you peace and joy❤

Time … My dad told me one day you want feel all the pain n hurt … i was like :sob::sob::sob::sob::sob: but today exactly 2 n half yrs later no hurt pain n happily re married .

Take it slow and focus on something else maybe for your daughter

You have to have time to mourn the loss. You lost your marriage, your dream. It’s okay. It takes a lot of time. Don’t expect your heart to follow your head…your heart is honest. In time you will be okay. It’s so good that you are remaining friendly for your child.

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