hi I had a miscarriage with what would of been my first child and had a d&c on February 26th. we found out 2 weeks ago we are expecting again. the miscarriage was devastating and my heart is still broken over the loss of our last baby. the pregnancy this time is going much better and we have normal development. I’m 11 weeks 4 days and I still don’t feel as though I’m able to enjoy the pregnancy due to worry, fear, and sorrow over the last baby. my question is, is this normal to be this scared and nervous. my husband definitely doesn’t understand my fear and the last pregnancy was never “real” to him because we lost baby at 6 weeks. is my fear okay and my reluctance to have joy over this normal?
yes! i was in the same boat. it’s very hard to enjoy in the beginning just constant fear. i’m 27 weeks now and finally feeling like i can enjoy my pregnancy and worry less
Your fear is normal but look at it this way you’ve already passed 6 weeks and you need to take it one day or week at a time and go in If you feel different in anyway there is no such thing as too many visits to the doctors
Yup! Completely normal. I had 4 miscarriages all from 5-8 weeks, finally had my rainbow baby last May, and am now due the end of October with my second baby and I’m still terrified every day. The further your pregnancy progresses the less you will worry because you’ll be able to feel baby and know it’s okay.
once you have your 18-20 week anatomy scan you’ll feel a lot better.
Your fear is normal. I lost my first baby at 6 weeks as well. Got pregnant 4 months later and I still was terrified until i gave birth. Ever time i went to the bathroom I’d check for blood. I’d make special trips every 20 mins just to check sometimes. Its terrifying. You’re completely justified in your fears
Im in the same boat and trust when i say i understand your fear and worry. My hubby is a great support , but its different for us moms. Your questioning the situation actually helped me feel less alone in this. I feel you girl, just taking it a day at a time
After losing 3 making it to the 2nd trimester was surreal. Then the 2nd and 3rd trimesters I was still paranoid. Completely normal.
I am currently in the same boat! I’m 22 weeks now, and every kick is like the best feeling in the world💙. I look forward to every appointment. I don’t know that I will ever get over the feeling of worry that something could go wrong, I am overly cautious of everything, but you’re not alone!!
Completely normal hun. I had a miscarriage in February 2001…got pregnant again in March…almost lost her twice, at 6wks and 6mths…i had morning sickness the whole time…plus not enough fluids at 6mths…i prayed hard…had her December 2001…this December she turns 18…i call her my Miracle Rainbow Baby
I lost my 1st one at 6 weeks ended up pregnant a few weeks after I miscarried, it was hard till I was at like 6/7 months pregnant and even then it was in the back of my mind. It’s hard but try to keep the stress levels down as much as you can it’ll help you a bunch
Yes its normal! I was 5 weeks pregnant with our 1st & had a miscarriage. 4 months later we was pregnant again. I had the same feelings as you.
I’ve had 4 pregnancies 3 miscarriages and carrying my 3rd baby right now I’m 23 weeks and are just staring to enjoy being pregnant because of the worries running through my head! You’ll get there, more time goes by the better you will feel
I was the same way. I was 17 weeks and went into labor early. I had a hard time trying to be happy for this pregnancy, but I read a post that said, “every life deserves to be celebrated.” Now I’m 30 weeks. I still have my moments because they’re saying my child may have a disability, but I find reasons to find joy. A baby is better than no baby
It’s completely normal. I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks 1 day, my baby stopped growing and lost its heartbeat at 9 weeks… I had a D&C November of 2014.
Then I got pregnant with my rainbow baby around September/October 2015. I constantly felt like I was going to loose her. She almost came at 24 weeks, but thankfully stayed until 39. I didn’t get to enjoy mine at all due to being terrified the whole time.
I know it’s hard, but try to relax. Focus on the little things like names, looking at nursery ideas or anything to help even a little. Looking at clothes and items helped me a little. I would also just lay down to feel her kick and talk about my first baby, telling my daughter all about them. That helped me the most.
Good luck, Momma. Stay strong.
Trigger warning would be nice
Completely normal! I miscarried my first at 11 weeks and my second at 6 weeks I am now 21 weeks through my 3rd pregnancy and everyday I still worry!!
Ive had 6 miscarriages and that feeling does not go away until delivery and they declare baby well.
I lost a baby at 12 weeks 8 weeks after I was pregnant with my now 16 month old. The whole pregnancy I was on edge and counted kicks and worried every second my doctor assured me it’s all normal
Absolutely. A miscarriage changes you. I had to have a doppler, it kept me sane in between Dr’s appointments. I’m 36 weeks today and I still worry sometimes but because she’s moving it makes me feel a lot better.
I definitely suggest getting a doppler to ease your mind, I got the Sonoline B and it works amazingly!
Good luck with your pregnancy, blessings to you and your family.
God Bless you as you carry this little miracle!!!
Yep. I had fear of loosing my babe until she entered this world and was in my arms. I didn’t want to set her crib up or anything in fear of losing her. I had a miscarriage and then my second pregnancy a year later was successful and I have a happy healthy little girl but we had a couple scares. After the 12 week mark it got a little easier but I still got nervous for every drs appointment, every ultrasound, ect. But it doesn’t do any good! So I just tried my best to not worry and enjoy it the best I could! But it’s totally understandable!
She’s 7 months now and I still worry. It’s a mother thing
I completely understand I miscarried last March at 8 weeks got pregnant in April I too was very scared I brought a heartbeat detector on amazon and listened to my son every time I felt no movement for a few hours long story short I gave birth to a handsome healthy boy January 2 you’ll be fine but I know the feeling all too well hang in there! I am 39 and that in itself scared me those are my kiddies you’ll be fine
Completely normal. We had a miscarriage a couple years ago now and I’m currently 28 weeks and are worried all the time. I just think it’s normal and I think as a mum or mum to be we always have that fear . Your doing a great job though
Same happened to me! My son is 35 years old. I felt nervous too 2nd go around. Think positive, and enjoy your every stage of pregnancy!
It is normal to have these feelings. I lost my last baby, and then became pregnant again. I was scared and happy, we decided not to tell anyone until later. It’s okay to have these feelings and thoughts. It is an exciting time, but I know it can be overwhelming and made (me) cautious at the same time.
I panicked until I heard the heartbeat…then I felt a little better. Still worried here and there until i could feel him move. Still worried during birth until I heard him cry. Just deep breaths until baby is here, nothing can easy it. Also men feel things differently, and takes them longer to bond with belly babe, and baby when they’re here.
I had 2 in a year and now expecting our rainbow baby in August. Even though I’m 28 weeks, I’m still worried until every doctor’s appointment and see the heart beat. I don’t think I’ll stop worrying until he’s in my arms. I totally understand how you feel and it is absolutely normal. Sending you love to your rainbow baby:rainbow:
Yes. It takes a while to heal and process
My cousin, Somer, can explain in more detail than I can though
Try not to worry stress can cause miscarriages
It’s normal. I miscarried at 8 wks, and 5 months later I got pregnant with my 4th child, my husband was I think just as worried as me on if I would miscarry again or not. Once we hit 20 wks and found out the gender and that everything was going good the worry went away and I enjoyed it… try not to stress I know it’s hard not to but try and the farther along u get the more real it becomes
I fell pregnant with my first baby an miscarried I was 6 weeks on, 5 weeks later I fell pregnant again and the way I seen it mother nature took its course it wasnt ment to be, but I still think of the first an now my daughter is 3 you worry alot but once you have your first scan the worry is over I believe in dont tell anyone until after the first scan obviously your partner but noone else that way theres no worry. Stress can cause problems try an relax yourself an take it easy
My kids are 8 and 3 and i still worry something will happen. 💁 Welcome to worrying until you die.
Oh momma, that is completely normal. I went through the same thing. It wasn’t until my healthy baby girl was placed in my arms that I felt like it was real. My pregnancy after my miscarriage was perfect, but I was still grieving our first baby and so scared something would go wrong. I talked with my doctor and he was very reassuring and told me there was nothing wrong to feel the way I was feeling.
I understand your fear. I had a normal pregnancy all the way through (no miscarriage) and still worried so much. A family member of mines wife has a miscarriage with her first ever pregnancy then got pregnant and had an uncomplicated pregnancy and child. I couple years after my first child I got pregnant and had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. Miscarriage is not a sign of infertility. Usually it’s due to chromosome abnormalities your body notices and gets rid of the pregnancy. I’m sure you’ll be just fine! Fifty percent of pregnancy’s end in miscarriage but majority of women don’t speak of it. It’s a lot more common than you may think! Stay calm and be happy!
I felt this exact same way, I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks the baby stopped growing they said. I found out I was pregnant about a month in a half later, and my husband was so very excited, but he took the miscarriage very hard. We went to our first OB, and the same Dr. who told us we miscarried, is now telling us we’re pregnant again with a big smile. I asked if it was normal to not feel excited, and being scared. She said yes, that I’m “guarding my heart” as the hurt is still there, and it will take some time. I’m now 28 weeks, and I still get panicked, I bought a heart monitor for those days I get worried, and it eases my mind.
I had a d&c and an ectopic pregnancy resulting in the loss of a full fallopian tube in the same year
Just had both my kids in 2016 and one in 2017.
The worry and fear were very real.
Honestly I wasn’t excited until I took my son home… I had two miscarriages before him
I was the same. After a still birth, I refused to believe that a healthy pregnancy was possible. I worried myself sick. Our rainbow is 6.5 now
I had a miscarriage in June of 2017, I got pregnant again in August of 2017, this is my 1 year old. Pregnancy went great, he is healthy, not one problem. Everything will be okay.
Think of it this way, you are twice as far along already than u were last time. Dont stress. Relax. Breathing exercises. It’s going to be ok.
I felt the same! I got pregnant in October 2016. Didn’t know and found out at 4 weeks because I started spotting more than 4 days! Ended up having a miscarriage on Halloween evening…
Found out I was pregnant in February 2017 and I wasn’t happy because I was scared so I was trying to be calm but deep down, I don’t want to get too happy in case this pregnancy doesn’t make it, but it did! We welcome our daughter 9 months later! Beautiful rainbow baby
I was scared my entire pregnancy after loss it did get better once we had our anatomy scan at 18 weeks.
I’m 36 weeks and am still terrified
Definitely normal. I’ve got two healthy kids and I worried all the time with them because I had previous miscarriages. But your almost out of the first trimester so the chance of miscarriage goes way down after that.
Listen to your body, if your tired-sleep. Hungry-eat
Drink a lot of water
Take breathers . Being worried is normal just do your best to take care of you.
Relax. Stress is not good. God bless u
It’s normal. However find methods to relax darling. I had 4 miscarriages prior to having my son. Remaining calm and taking it easy physically is necessary. Try not to consume caffeine or any stimulants. Especially in the first trimester. The fear and nerves may never truly go away so it’s about coping and trying to remain as relaxed as possible. Also let your man know. That he may not of been as emotionally attached. But biologically when a women finds out she is pregnant it’s like a trip wire. You Immediately go into protector mode, your emotions are strong and you become attuned to your new changing body. The connection is not just emotional but physical to you. Medically it can be considered something you can get disability for even therefore it’s seen as a major medical situation. It’s another life not just your. Maybe he’ll understand better if you explain it that way.
Yes it’s normal just just pray and stay positive. Stress and sorrow will only cares harm.
They say when you have a miscarriage there is something wrong with the baby. Stop worring hon.
Its totally normal.
I too miscarried my first pregnancy and it did scare me from going through pregnancy again but we soon fell pregnant with our rainbow baby and she is pwrfect in everyway.
I will say this
It is okay to be scared
Its okay to be worried
Its okay to be feeling flat
Its okay to not bond straight away when your rainbow baby arrives.
I struggled with all those things and it fid take me a few weeks to bond with my sweet girl. I cried so much i thought something was wrong with me! I hated myself for not feeling the way i thought i should feel at first.
But i overcame all of it! And once bonding starting it all became so much better.
I never forget about my first baby! Even though I didnt see it, didnt hold it, didnt bond with it! It was real it did happen it was a life inside of you! You were a mumma the day you got pregnant with your #1
Be kind to yourself.
I saw it as my body was just preparing to give us a new life and that first life just was needed elsewhere.
It gets easier.
My girl is now 2 and amazing!
And am 30 weeks with #2 this pregnancy my worries and stresses were there but not like when i was pregnant with my 1st born
Just stay positive and everything is going to be ok
I am so sorry for your loss, and the pain you’ve endured! My daughter was stillborn, and the next two pregnancies, I was a mess until after I got past the point of her passing. I was still nervous too. I used meditation to help relax me since the stress wasn’t good for my blood pressure or for the baby. I’m so happy you’ve made it so far, and baby and you are doing so well! How wonderful. Soon you’ll be holding your rainbow baby
Its completely normal and you’re not alone. I lost two before this pregnancy so I wasn’t excited at all just to be safe until the anatomy scan
Relax, everything you’re feeling is normal
In my head, and in my heart, I knew I had life in my belly for a few short weeks and I know I lost a human life. Don’t put time on your grief. I still tear up sometimes. My angel baby passed on, my rainbow baby is such joy. You will never completely be over it. In time you just learn to heal slowly. I’ll pray you find peace and joy with a healthy baby. But you will always miss the one you lost. FYI men don’t have that emotional spiritual bond a mother has with the lost one. You carried it so it was a very real part of you. Only women who lost one would empathize.
I experienced the same thing, I think its perfectly normal to be scared. Congratulations. Xx
Fear is normal but you are progressing well with this baby so try to enjoy every minute. Good luck and God bless
I lost my daughter when I was 6 months pregnant and I can tell you that as supportive as my husband was, he was not attached to the baby. We feel the baby is present through the feeling of having a missed period, nausea, overall fatigue and they experience nothing. I got pregnant after my loss and as you can imagine, my fear did not stop after my first trimester as I lost my baby well into my second. You will stress regardless. I bought a heartbeat monitor and that helped get me through it a little. Sorry for your loss
My first pregnancy endes in miscarriage resukting in immediate pregnancy. Now i got a healthy 2 year old from that.
I am so sorry! I just refused to let what happened steal my joy. My doctor helped me a lot. He explained that in his experience, miscarried babies were lost in almost a preordained way. There might be an issue with placental growth. There could be an abnormality in the fetus. There may be a combination of things.
He also said that most women who’ve suffered a loss go on to have perfectly normal, perfectly wonderful babies.
He told me the most important thing for me to do, for myself AND my baby, was to RELAX and enjoy the most special time in my life. I took that to the bank.
I had a 10-pound, 22-inch-long baby girl, who now has two kiddoes of her own.
Oh hon. I firstly want to say I’m deeply sorry. Your feelings are valid- no matter how far along you were.
Secondly, I don’t think it’s abnormal to worry like that. I never went thru that, and I even worried. So I’d imagine with you going thru it, the worry is very much a reality in your emotions. If that makes sense.
My heart is with you
I had 2 mc before my son and I started worried the entire pregnancy that he wouldn’t make it. It’s normal to have fear and grieve for your loss. I still grieve and it’s been nearly 7 years since that first m/c…
I never experienced it (the loss) but would guess your fears are natural.
It is completely normal. Find someone you can Express your fears and worries to. My husband didn’t understand either. But many men don’t feel like parents until the baby is in their arms. I also miscarried my first. I got pregnant with my daughter 9months later. And she is very healthy. She is 3 now. Threw out my pregnancy though I didn’t really allow myself to get to excited. I was scared that I would lose her also. It wasn’t until they told me that I was being induced that it all kicked in. And I suddenly had a rush of emotions that it was really going to happen. But try to stay positive. Talk to the baby. You will feel a little better with each mile stone. I’m sorry for your loss. Congratulation on your Rainbow Baby:rainbow:
We miscarried our first baby too. With baby two we both sighed relief at every doctor appointment when we heard the heartbeat. Trust in Jesus. Pray for peace.
Yes what your feeling is absolutely normal I’ll say a pray for you and your babies as I myself have lost 3 babies to miscarriage and I now have a beautiful set of twins who are Rainbow Babies
It’s normal. I was a total wreck all 9 mos. I miscarried my second and third pregnancy before 8 weeks each time. He was the forth and last.
yes its normal to be worried. But please try not too as your worry can lead to another miscarriage. Stress can do that to us. Women have miscarriages all the time, most times we dont know its happened. This is why babies are miracles, not all of them make it through the nine months and the birth. Although it may seem like it. Try and stay focussed on the future of your baby and yourself, feed through loving thoughts and picture that future, cos your baby will receive it all. I wish you luck and peace, and much blessings when your dear angel arrives. <3
I experienced a MC and 1 month later I fell pregnant again. I was in constant worry of what ifs. I learned and taught myself that worrying will do no good to this miracle. I also bought a heartbeat monitor (some people don’t agree with them) but anytime I started to worry I listened to his heart beat. It helped me calm down instantly.
Brittany u can say something here. I mean I can only say that you slowly have it pass as they stated. I held and cared for mine for 4 mos and 23 days and some days still don’t get why…and I’ve not been again yet. So my blessings to u.
Yes it’s normal but don’t let it take your joy for the entire pregnancy, try to find happiness where you can and let it build.
I lost my first two pregnancies. The first at 11 weeks and the 2nd at 8 weeks. With my daughter, I worried myself sick. Every time I went to the dr, I feared the worse. Once I made it halfway, I had nightmares about her being still born… when she was born, She didnt make a sound… but she was perfectly healthy and will be 5 next month. It was recommended that I go to grief therapy during my pregnancy with her, but it only escalated my fears. With my son, I didn’t worry at all… until I started gushing blood at 10 weeks. I cried the entire 4 hours it took for the ER to let me know that they couldn’t figure out why I was bleeding so heavily, but the baby was perfect with a strong heart rate. He is now 19 months old. Good luck and praying for you!
I had a miscarriage November 2016. It was horrible. Then I found out I was pregnant March 2017 and delivered a healthy pain the butt November 2017. Just make sure you’re away from everything that causes stress. Don’t get too angry and stay healthy. But most of all. Have faith! I pray you have a healthy pregnancy and are able to welcome your bundle of joy this year
Grieve. You need this. That baby is a treasure in your heart and an angel in God’s hands. This second baby is a special blessing. Happiness to you.
Same exact thing happened to me. With my child now I was so nervous id miscarry up until I was 15weeks even when I had spotting I’d freak out. But baby was fine and I knew I’d have a healthy baby. Usually after 1 miscarriage your second baby you’ll carry full term. Try to enjoy it. And don’t stress think positive!!
When I got pregnant after my miscarriage I was a nervous wreck until we got to 13 weeks then I was able to relax
This is normal. We only told close family until we were sure-we wouldn’t miscarriage again very devastating abs scary
You are entitled to your feelings
They are valid as you are
But hear me clearly, you DO have a life growing. I miscarried too and immediately became pregnant again. My whole early start of pregnancy was fear. But then, she grew and grew and grew. God doesn’t make mistakes darling. Trust his will for you. Love and prayers.
Maybe look for an online support for mother’s who have had miscarriage. They would probably better understand as they have experienced the same. Just a suggestion. Something I would do
I had 3 miscarriages before I had my son. I was an absolute mess. Then with my son i started bleeding really heavy but it was bright red and thin. No cramping but I freaked out and went to the er anyway. It was a piece of my placenta had broken off. But i couldn’t get happy until about the 3rd month after the scare period was over. So yes it’s completely normal.
Everybody Grieves differently. Some men do not get attached to the babies until they are born some get attached the minute they are conceived I guess it just depends on how well they’re able to express their feelings. However he should be a little bit more empathetic towards how you’re feeling I’m not dismissing your feelings and grief. Maybe you should sit down and have a conversation with him calmly about this. My advice to you is don’t let yourself get consumed with fear anxiousness and worry I know easier said than done but remember everything that you feel the baby you’re carrying feels it. Try to enjoy this baby take everything Moment by moment and be as present as you can and as happy as you can with this baby celebrate this baby’s life. It’s okay to grieve but don’t overcloud this experience with the new baby because before you know it your pregnancy will be over and you want your baby to feel loved happy joyous and wanted before it gets here. Celebrate every milestone take pictures of your belly make memories. This is exactly why I chose not to get pregnant until I knew in my heart I was completely ready emotionally physically and mentally to be pregnant after my miscarriage it took me 6 years to be ready to be pregnant again from the time I had my miscarriage and it was at 4 weeks I had my miscarriage. I didn’t want my baby after miscarriage to feel like a replacement or like a Band-Aid for my feelings I wanted to give myself that time to grieve and go through my ups and downs and heal from it. Just in the time I was pregnant with my son( my rainbow baby) I knew three people in my circle that lost their babies pretty far into their pregnancies to say I was anxious nervous and scared that something would happen to my son during my pregnancy or delivery is an understatement but I tried not to play into those feelings and I tried really hard for those feelings not consume me. My baby boy is now a year old and was very loved even before he was born and wanted. If you feel like these feelings are not something that you can overcome on your own then I would suggest talking to a professional about this.
Yes it’s very normal so don’t worry about that. I was a total mess when I got pregnant again and that was almost a year later. Every little thing made me nervous, but the further along I got the better my anxiety got. I know you are still grieving the loss, but the love you will have for this new baby is going to be a love like you’ve never imagined. You will be ok.
I panic until after my 12 week ultrasound, then until after 27 weeks as I had a premie too.
I think it’s normal to worry a little bit after a loss/stressful situation.
Just don’t let it rob you of your joy of this pregnancy…
Its normal to fear that, but don’t forget to try and relax take care of yourself. Try talking with your doctor or support group or look into theraphy, this may help with bein nervous.
Yes it’s normal, and it’s also normal that your partner doesn’t understand. A big part of what you are going through has to do with the pregnancy hormones you had/have and also the fact that your body started something it didn’t get the chance to finish. That sorrow is just as physical and biological as it is emotional. It’s a loss that you will carry your whole life and a love you will always have. It will also give you a deep connection with other women who are grieving as well.
My mom lost a few before she had me. She got to the point that she didn’t even let herself believe she was having a living baby until the moment I was in her arms. It’s given us such a deep connection and I absolutely love the relationship I have with her.
Your loss was real, but try to think of the new baby. Think positive and be joyful not just for baby but for you. Praying for you!
I 1st of all want to say I’m sorry for your loss… I was pregnant my very 1st time n found out baby was passed away for 3 weeks and I needed surgery the d&c and one month later I got pregnant with my son. I was very scared and I worried everyday until the day I had my son… He is now almost 16months old happy n healthy keep your head up…once u get to hear heartbeat at the 12 week mark it will make u feel better… I also went out and bought a home fetal Doppler n I used it once a week and it helped me lot good luck sweetie keep your head up
I lost my 1st baby after being 4 1/2 months an got attacked and had to have a D&C. Had 2 sons after that. Both are fine.
1000000% normal. I found out I had lost my baby last year on July 2nd and got pregnant again around October- I’m due July 2nd of this year (total mind fuck) and am currently 34 weeks and I’m STILL terrified of losing the baby even though rationally I know that chances are slim now that I’m so far Along. It’s normal to worry, just try to breathe through it and relax as much as possible.
Its perfectly normal to worry. I was super worried for my daughter after I had two miscarriages (lost twins, then another baby) but everything was fine. Hang in there and if you need to talk make sure you do, don’t hold it in cuz it will make it worse
I thinks its ok, just take it easy. Be happy, i know loseing a baby is tough try to remember that that how mother nature dose it. It just means that something not right. Im glad your having another one, just be happy.
I had 4 miscarriages so yes its ok to feel scared and nervous
I’ve had 2 losses at 6 weeks.
It’s completely normal to feel that way. I felt that way up until I was 20 weeks and I got the anatomy scan where I was told my son was perfect and growing the way that he should.
but up until then I would panic at every ache and pain because I wasn’t sure what normal pregnancy was suppose to feel like.
Your fear is completely normal and will hang with you until baby is born, and through every pregnancy you have. Hubs doesn’t get it because he didn’t carry and lose that little life. Hang in there momma. Don’t worry. Your feelings are normal.
It’s normal honey, I didn’t settle down until I reached around 20 weeks. I was so anxious and scared.
I felt the same. I could only relax once he was here safe in my arms X
It a normal reaction as the fear of losing baby again is still there…try and relax and be careful with yourself …all the best with this pregnancy .
It’s absolutely normal to be scared. I lost triplets in July of last year and recently found out I’m pregnant again. I’m constantly terrified that things are going to go wrong. I’m afraid to move sometimes. Afraid to be alone. Just because of how stressful things were with the girls along with the loss. I’m hoping some of my fear will go away as time passes