I have a question to those mamas who have teenage kids. How do you get through this stage? I am at my breaking point with my 17 year old daughter. A little back story. So my daughter works and goes to school. Anyways she is getting her license ( hopefully) next weekend. For the longest time she would say things like we need to figure out how to get me a car. I told her we will figure it out somehow. Mind you I’m a single mom of 3 kids, I work full-time but don’t get paid much. I’m trying to work on finding a place for us because of some situations that happened and we had to live with family and friends for a years. So anyways, I had decided that I would see about getting me a newer car. I had talked to my 17 year old about maybe going and seeing if she would want my car. She said yes and I told her that she not only would have to pay her share of ins but she would also have to make the payments on that car because I can’t afford 2 car payments. I told her that I will pay it off when I get my taxes but when it came to repairs and things like that then I would find a place to do all this etc. So I found out she went behind my back and asked my brother in law to do someyjing to the car. I don’t trust him at all. Last time he worked on my car my engine blew up. So I got mad and she said it is my car I can do what I want. So make a long story short she told me that she hated me, I’m the worst mother ever and she wants nothing to do with me. I’m lost right now. Not sure how to handle this situation.
Kids today hate their parents for not getting what they want constantly. Driving is a PRIVILEGE not a necessity. My 16 yo twins both bought, fixed, pay for their gas and insurance. You’re doing your best, and providing the essentials and tried to go above and beyond and she’s being ungrateful. Don’t sweat it.
Take the car away. Driving is a privilege, not a right. Maybe the fresh air from all the walking she’ll be doing will bring her to her senses.
Unless you put the car in her name, then legally it’s not her car.
I got my first car at the age of 18 with my moms help. she co-signed a very small used car loan ($5000) for me from our bank, i had a job so i paid on the loan until it was paid off, paid my own insurance, car maintenance, gas, etc.
Like others suggested, maybe use the car as a trade instead. Have her continue working to save up atleast $2500(half of $5000) to put down on a car of her own. or if you want you can put down the other $2500 and y’all can find her a car being sold for $5000 or less. If your already in a financial bind then going about the whole car thing the way you are is just gonna put you further in a hole most likely.
Also i remember appreciating having a car way more because it was something i pretty much bought myself, yes my mom helped me get the loan but she didn’t just give me a car cause i asked for one and going through the loan process, finding a car in my budget and then paying for everything gave me a little taste of adulthood and paying my own bills.
She doesnt get the car & if she takes it report it stolen. Sorry but as a single mom buying your kid a car is not a priority, if your already tight for cash it needs to be used for things that actually matter. If she wants one she can save & get it herself🤷🏼♀️
If you are this financially strapped, I would not give her the car until it’s 100% paid off. At that point yes give her the car and let her have whoever work on it. When it fails you can remind her and do not help her. I’m not always for letting kids fall on their butt when you know you are right, but sometimes a good dose a reality is needed when not a life or death thjng and if it comes at her expense, then she will learn. ￼￼She’s sounding a tad entitled. If you are able to give her car, of course, do it… But for her to expect it and then be this dramatic is wild. I definitely would not even give her anything until an apology happens. ￼
I think you need to sit down with a contract. Legally it’s your car. If it needs to be worked on that’s something that should be discussed and stipulated on who/where it’s worked on in the contract. She can either listen and follow the stipulations in the contract or she can be car less. She’s at that age where she’s on the cusp of being an adult and she’s stretching her legs into that by being a car owner. Also if it’s a new enough car I’d just use it as a trade in. Or sell it and use the money for the family unit. She has a job she can save up for something dependable.
I’m not going to judge the BILs mechanic abilities over one vehicle incident when I don’t know any of the background of the car your maintenance, etc.
Handle it by not giving her the car lol she works she can buy her own care and then she can do with it as she pleases.
Simple solution she buys her own car if she hates you as much as she says she does
she tried to sabotage your car?? am I reading this correctly??? tbis means dhe isn’t ready to drive at all. that is ridiculous. no car for her sneaky butt!! tell her to work.on money for downpayment and getting her own car!!
If she wants to act all grown up …
Tell her to buy her own stuff and be all ( grown up )
Let him do it and tell her you will not be responsible for any damages or expenses. Make her sign a contract before she does it. And if she can’t drive the car after that she is responsible to pay it off and to be able to get herself places without you. Work, school etc…
The I hate you ploy is simply to push your buttons so she gets what she wants.
Then she can find her own way to get a car or she can get over it. She is not going to hate you forever
Let her be mad, she’s just naive at her age but convinced she knows everything. Hang in there she’ll be impressed how smart you became in the next few years . Oh and don’t give her the car.
He ass sure wouldn’t be getting a car from me after that. I worked since I was 14 I bought the car myself put it in my moms name and she still didn’t let me get a license until I was 18. I paid insurance and moved out at 18 as well been on my own since.
I have already told my kids at 10 if they want their license in high school they’ll need to be responsible, have good grades and a job to pay their part of insurance and their own gas.
You are a wise woman and a great mom
My response to I hate you would be then I must be doing my job right because you’re not supposed to like me all the time ￼￼
Do you know from experience he’s not the right guy to work on the car She wants to be grown up and make grown-up decisions and not listen. Then I guess she needs to learn the hard way. ￼￼
Then don’t give her the car. Let her work and pay for it. Don’t pay it i off
Driving is a privilege. Shes got 2 feet and heart beat until she learns so respect, guess those 2 feet will get her to where she needs to go.
I wouldn’t of gotten her a car, never did for mines. They worked on their own and bought their own vehicle paid their own insurance. With those types of remarks from your daughter to youth adult shouldn’t ever be said. I’d take her vehicle away if not when that vehicle brakes down have her deal with it on her own. Show her to respect you First and responsibilities secondly. Don’t be one of these parents with a disrespectful individual in society. Good luck.
So you told her she needs to be responsible for it then tell her it’s YOUR car not hers? It isn’t up to you if she’s the one responsible for it. You can’t have it both ways.
That’s sounds about right. Don’t take it to heart. They will pop off hurtful things when they’re upset. She was trying to handle the situation on her own and maybe the brother in law is all that she knew to do. You may feel a certain way about him and know but obviously she does not and doesn’t understand. Ya’ll two will have to work together instead of apart which is what’s happening now after you learned what she did. Instead of speaking with her about it and explaining things to her seems like you exploded. So naturally the daughter is going to react to that. Being a single mom is tough. Be proud that she at least wanted to try to help. She could have not at all. Just breathe and take one day at a time. We can’t control everything.
She can buy herself the car she wants. Idk why all these teens think they’re so entitled. Why should mommy/daddy buy you a car ? It’s a privilege, one that you should have to work for, not be handed.
Your little chicky poo needs a reality check. I would take the car back and tell her when she finds the respect, you can talk.
One thing I have learned, is that your children need to buy their own vehicle so that way they appreciate it just a little bit more. So if she buys her own car and let’s the brother or whoever fix it and destroys her vehicle, then it will be basically her fault for not listening to your experience. And by letting her make her own decisions, you’re letting her make her own experiences to look back on later in life when it comes to making decisions.
Been there before. II would tell her no c￼ driver license ￼or car until she can learn to respect you. You have to let them know you’re the mom and she is the child.
Take the car back and let her find her own car. Let her figure it out.
You don’t owe your daughter a car
So tell.her your rules on the car or do without. I bet she has 2 healthy legs and she can always buy a used bicycle