how do u get ur husband more involved with the kids? we have 3 kiddos and he never likes doing anything with them at all? ideas?
Can’t force him, just focus on doing things with the kids. Once the kids start asking him, maybe he’ll tag along but personally I think it would be his loss. Can’t make anyone do anything they don’t want to do. Even so, they’ll either resent you for making them or not be genuine about spending time with them and that whole situation would suck just as much if not more. This is just my opinion.
You have to communicate. He won’t know there’s a problem unless you tell him there is. Instincts for men do not always kick in like they do for women.
I don’t think you need ideas I think he needs an ultimatum
He needs a wake up call upside his head.
His absence (even though hes there) will inevitably cause a lot of emotional confusion in the way your kids are in and treat their own relationships one day… Research the stuff about it theirs a lot and show your husband the statistics… He needs to wake up and start living proactively in their lives
Trade him in for a new one
Honestly just accept that your memories with the children are not his memories with the children.
Maybe try using a sticker chart? Some are more tangible goal-oriented.
What does he like to do and what is he good at? Have him show the kids how to throw a football or run with it, get a pretend barbecue kit so he can show them how to grill or let them form and “cook” Pla-Doh burgers and dogs on an unlit grill. In the yard (if you have one) have the kids break up branches into sticks for the garbage can/bag after he prunes trees and bushes, “mow” with bubble push toys, or help water the lawn with the hose (prepare to get wet!). Have them check the tire pressure and stand on a step stool to watch dad check under the hood. Wash the car with him if it’s allowed in your neighborhood. Play children’s video games with him (least good solution but it’s an option if that’s his thing). Have him teach them his college fight song or a football cheer/song (“Go Blue!” “Hail to the Redskins,” the “Tomahawk chop”), a soccer move, or have him take them to/coach T-ball. Later he can take them to batting cages. Playing catch with a soft round ball is classic!
Have them play kids instruments and sing along on a chorus of his favorite music (radio edit version!). He can teach them air guitar. Or have him play music (an instrument, iTunes or radio) & they can dance to it.
My dad would take me on errands: to the hardware store, post office, whatever. It’s fascinating to kids! Just make sure they are in a stroller, shopping cart, or on a leash & the trips will be short. Just going on a short bus or subway ride to nowhere and back can be an adventure.
He can take them to story hour or another kids program at the library or a local museum or historic site where the activity is already planned and he just has to help.
I knew one clueless dad who would take his son out to play places, laser tag, Chuck E. Cheese, water parks, etc. where the entertainment is built in & all you have to do is make sure they’re safe & comfort them if they get scared.
Find books & videos about parenting; there’s a Sandra Boynton book called Purrfect Parenting that’s more like a comic book. My ex grumbled about parenting classes and family counseling and pretended not to care what the books said, but underneath the protest he listened and learned & became a better parent.
See if there’s a dad’s group or send him out with a buddy who has kids too. Do you have other male family members with kids who can kind of take him under their wing? Also, I find a lot of divorced dads take their kids to the playground on their weekends, so maybe you can find a park/playground where they hang out (Sunday afternoon is prime time) where he’d be “one of the guys.”
Start an activity together, then you leave him to finish up.
If he is super resistant, go to marriage/family counseling together, then have him go alone. He might feel more comfortable with a male therapist/counselor.
Praise him for his efforts. With luck he’ll get better as he gains more confidence. I swear we have to coddle these fragile souls so!
Yall are dumb saying get rid of him:roll_eyes:shes asking for advice to help him get involved, not to have him less involved. Yall have no advice, scroll on.
I have the same problem when werw home together, when hes home alone with them hes very involved. I think sometimes they feel inferior to mom and they just back off
Even if they watch a favorite tv show together they can make it special with snacks and a planned time together. Go outside and throw a ball around. Do a craft or game time. Doesn’t have to be expensive or a whole day. My dad would always take me along if he had to run to the store or errands. I loved it.
Should have know after the first one. Now ya got another kid on your hands. I’ll be dammed if I have to hold a man child hand and show him how to be a dad and interact with his kids. And it pisses me off we all comment and get nothing in return. Ugh
Same mama!. My husband trys tho! But he was very young when his dad committed suicide. So it’s a learning experience.
I just sneak off to grocery shop. Husband and kids will figure out what to do without me. Usually works out well
Leave the house by yourself. Then he’s forced to be with them.
Yeah I do. You got the wrong man. Get rid of him. And that IS advice, whether a woman wants to hear it or not. A father should not have to be coaxed to spend time and interact with his children.
I tell just ask my husband if he wants to be a present dad or the dad he witnessed sitting in the sidelines scrolling his phone? How does he want his kids to think of him and remember him? Children need present parents, dads included.
Take a look at the things your husband is interested in if it’s Sports he could teach them how to throw a football how to hit a ball with a bat if he works with tools he could teach them how to use tools and Tool safety and built things like a little birdhouse find your husband strengths that he can teach to your son’s
Find a new husband maybe? U cant MAKE him want time with his kids. We and 3 (1 was mine from previous relationship and she was 11 when I met hubby) 2 are a set of twins by him. He spends every moment he can with all 3. Outside, park, wal.art. he loves to take them everywhere. Its adorable
Talk to him like an adult. Tell him he needs to man the fuck up and be active in the childrens life. There are toms of reasons he could be sluggish so much, TALK to him.
Not sure of his work schedule…get him to take kids to the park…
If he isn’t into it you go out…here’s the kids I have few errands…