I could really use some recommendations and please delete if this isn’t allowed. My son is 5 and has adhd and autism. He barely eats because he wants one thing then changes his mind. He doesn’t like meat. He wakes up every morning around 5 or 530am and wants to stay awake to play but also wakes everyone else up. He often argues, yells, screams, whines and cries and it’s worse if he doesn’t get his way. I don’t want to medicate but has anyone tried other methods instead of medication? We have a weighted blanket.
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Im an autism mom. My son is 11 and we have been through it all. I would definitely be willing to help walk through a lot of things. It’s WAYY TOO MUCH to go over here
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I know you don’t want to medicate, but I would seriously reconsider that. It’s not as bad as you think. My 9 year old is medicated and we have seen so much improvement. She’s able to slow down and focus, think about what she’s doing, make better choices, both academically and socially. She’s a lot calmer and happier. It hasn’t taken her spark away, she’s still my funny and silly girl.
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My brother medicated his daughter and she’s much much happier. She hate her behavior when she’s not medicated bc she can’t control herself. Medicine will help him control himself and the dr will work with you to find what works for him. Don’t be afraid of it. Well wishes to you 
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Well there is certain types of therapy and when he starts to kick and scream try to put him in timeout and keep putting him there till he stays also coping mechanisms for when he is told no like counting to 10 and lastly strict routines and don’t be afraid of punishment he is still a child and just because he’s has autism doesn’t mean he won’t learn just means it takes longer
Please seek help from a pediatric OT! They will teach you all kinds of things! It’s part of their specialty.
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The first thing you need to understand is that even with his diagnosis he is able / capable of learning it’s just take more time / effort and consistency, do not allow him to get his way just because his brain works differently that is a mistake that some parents make “ to use his illness as an excuse to let their kids do whatever they want without any consequences “.Do not be afraid of punishment.
There’s some behavioral therapy that can help him in different areas, also you should try to find support in groups that can help you to navigate all of this .
More importantly, you should re-consider the medication, the right medication can help him tremendously,do not negate him to have the opportunity to improve and be his best self 
You can’t medicate Autism. Please don’t try. You can get drugs to help with focus during the day and melatonin to help with sleep but I cannot guarantee you they will work. I would highly recommend a much later bedtime than other kids… I would hazard at least an hour later if not two! Then he’ll be waking at 06:30 or 07:00 instead. He’s allowed to not want meat. You can help by putting up routine cards about when you do things so he understands what the “plan” is. Things in pictures or written down help with comprehension of expectations. He may have PDA. So, if you want him to do something, you need to give an opportunity to finish the task he is doing first and give two options. So “Would you like cheesey pasta or tomato pasta for dinner?” “I would like you to tidy away your toys in five minutes time because we’re having dinner OR you can do it after dinner. You choose.” Give time warnings — we are going to leave the pool when the long hand is on the nine (about ten minutes away). We are having dinner when the long hand is on the twelve. If you want to say “in ten minutes” get a little countdown clock for him. Ideally the little pictures of the day will have clock times of when things happen. Write storyboards of things where everyone ends up happy instead of sad — a snow day at school; going out for a meal; why you don’t hit people etc. Never tell an Autistic child to share their toys. There is a deep emotional attachment to things and they may get anxious that things will get damaged, broken or stolen. Explain that it’s okay to say no too. Don’t throw away things. Sort them out together into Keep, Charity and Rubbish piles. Invest in boxes for precious things and scraps of paper. Hope that helps a bit! Mine always struggled with being asked two things — go upstairs and get your coat and bag would see him coming back down with just the coat…
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I have 2 with autism and 3 with adhd. It’s a challenge
Could this be PDA, check out Pathological Demand Avoidance
My son is adhd and meds is the only thing I’ve found to help its not bad to medicate
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- You need services in-home or in a clinic to help with the behaviors. 2. You don’t want to medicate? For the adhd? For sleep? There’s medicine to help with adhd and medicine to help with eating. 3. You need to think of the entire family as well. My oldest daughter has adhd and autism. She doesn’t take adhd meds. My youngest also has adhd and autism and he does. During breaks, holidays and summer (even on just a 3 day weekend) he couldn’t self-regulate. By the 3rd day of not being in school he would be up at 3/4 am and his sleep cycle was completely off. ADHD and autism are no different than a physical/medical disability. You wouldn’t hesitate to give your child an in-haler to help them breathe.
Aba therapy is great and helps.
I would strongly recommend looking at pages such as the The Occuplaytional Therapist to help gain perspective.
I heard a saying once that stuck with me: The boundaries we hold for our kids are like the walls of their house. Imagine if, every now and then, when you brushed your hand against a wall or gave it a tap, it wobbled. You would become paranoid and obsessive, and constantly push against walls because you want to know which, if any, will fall. Kids do this when boundaries are “wobbly” - they push and push against ALL of them to see which ones are unstable.
AuDHD kids need boundaries and structure just as much, if not more, than neurotypical kids; the difference is about WHAT boundaries they need, not whether or not they need them. For a neurotypical kid, a healthy boundary might be “we eat snacks at x time and meals a y time,” but if your kid has difficulty with proprioception that might not be reasonable for them. Instead, your boundary might be “These safe foods are always accessible to you. You can decide if/when you eat them. If you want something other than (insert acceptable safe food that should ALWAYS be available), you need to ask/get permission/show me/communicate in some way.”
It’s important that you remember what is and what isn’t in your control. In all parent/kid relationships, there is a division of powers and reasonability. Many parents lose the script and try to control things that they truly cannot, and this makes parenting much harder. As much as you hate it, for example, you cannot actually control how loud your kid is. You can correct it and redirect the behavior, but you cannot truly control it because they are his vocal cords and without doing something highly illegal and unethical you cannot stop him from using them. What you CAN control is what noises you acknowledge/affirm and whether you wear headphones to deaden the noise.
You CANNOT control how much he eats, but you CAN control how much and what type of food he has access to.
You CANNOT control what time he gets up each day, but you CAN control what your morning routine looks like.
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