How to handle divorce in the family

I was curious if anyone had any advice on dealing with divorced grandparents that don’t get along.

I have a 3 month old and my parents have been divorced since I was in high school. It was really messy and they still don’t get along the best. Both are remarried and moved on, but they’re already hounding me about who gets to see my daughter more, etc. I need for them to know that she will NOT grow up the way I did, having to feel like she has to choose sides and favorites. I’ve already threatened that no one will see her if this continues but it’s not stopping them. It’s stressing me out so bad and I already have so much on my plate.


Flat out refuse to let them see your child if they’re going to act immature. :woman_shrugging:t2:
I would if I was in that situation…


Ignore then simply say you know where we live if you want to see her come over. Also make it known you will only do 1 party when it comes to birthdays and things and tell them both that if they cant get over it for a few hrs dont come


If they can’t all be civil adults during special occasions then I wouldn’t let anyone see your child. Your child doesn’t need that kind of energy cause kids pick up on that stuff


Honestly my daughters grand parents are the same, both sets are divorced and remarried/common law, I’m not close with my family so she sees the sets on my fiancé’s side more.

We usually take her to visit her bio grandma and her bio grandpa usually comes to visit her.
My family, bio grandpa lives 7 hours away so we see them when they come or when we go there, bio grandma lives 15 minutes away… she doesn’t visit, an we don’t visit her (heavy smoker so I can’t stand to be in their house).

Tell them exactly what you just told us.

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I had the same problem and i told all of them that they either got along at events or dont come but that was their choice. They would try to arrange their own events but i just wouldn’t go because they are my children and if i throw a birthday party and invite everyone and they dont show im not going to take another day off to make it to their’s. Its just that simple


I would tell them that the amount they see your child depends on their behavior. If they can act like adults then go for it. my parents tried to make me have two different birthday parties and I told them absolutely not if you want to see my child you put your differences aside and you be there!


I’ve told my parents that if they bad mouth the other in front of my child, that’s the last time they see him. If it’s a holiday, his birthday, whatever - save their crap for another time. I refuse to let them ruin things got him like they did me. They weren’t nice to begin with, but I not so politely reminded them that our state doesn’t have grandparents rights, so they either play nice or go home. 🤷 They play nice now.


Tell them you’re not going to keep score. You visit when you visit. This is not their child, they don’t have to suffer though parents who can’t choose to love the child more than they hate each other, who can’t put their own pettiness aside for the good of the child. Don’t badmouth each other in front of your grandchild and don’t treat this like a competition.


I’d give them a schedule :slightly_smiling_face: but ima a schedule kinda person. They would just have to wait until “their” weekend until they could respectfully stop trying to make life hard.

It hard when the grandparents don’t get along. They need to make amends for you and the child’s sake. If they can’t do that then don’t plan separate party’s or gathering to just appease the other. They need to start acting like adults and get along for their grandchild’s sake. I would tell them that. If they can’t get along just long enough for the sake of their grandchild them neither one of them need to be in her life. I made amends with my ex for the sake of my kids and future grandchildren and I even get along with my husband’s ex wife for the same reason. Child and grand children should be their first priority. Not their last. It should be for the Love they have for you as their child and the love for their grandchild.

divorced grandmother, my ex walked out and his grandkids don’t even know him , His choice not mine

Tell them to call you when they grow up, that’s bullshit.

I have a meeting with them without the baby and tell them these are the ground rules this is my child your visit will be my way or there will be no visits you will not do to my child the way you will not pull my child one way or the other you will be civil to one another around me or my daughter are you won’t see either one of us I will not put her through what you put me through and if you can’t deal with that then don’t come around us

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Ignore them until they can act like adults

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You need to tell them that you are done dealing with it, that it is stress you do not need! Your baby can sense the stress and it’s not needed. Then tell them if they don’t start acting like adults it’s going to be their loss. That’s the thing that some grandparents don’t get, it’s not about them and their likes. My kids have a grandparent that is similar to this and it does get very stressful and annoying, I feel for you, and hope you the best. Stand strong :heart:


Who ever comes around sees her… Who cares. Don’t let that shit stress you. That baby can feel it. Dont answer when they have stupid shit do say. Ignore it.

Pull the plug and tell them both no and exactly why.
Either grow up for your child’s mental and emotional well being…or no one sees her.



You told them the rules. Stick to your guns. Child picks up on neg. Feelings.


Say no. It’s a complete sentence and you owe nothing to no one.

If you visit their homes is when they see everyone … other than that it’s a big fat no. Because no one needs that circus in their life.

Tell them both, new child, new life, get it together FOR THE CHILD or go on with life without the child…There will be birthdays, school plays, holidays, ect, & only ONE celebration for the “family” so “suck it up buttercup” & LEARN to get along!


Honestly honey you will have to show them you mean bussiness. If they can’t behave \ get along for the grandbabies don’t let them around her.They are being selfish & need to grow up.I’ve kissed butt \ got along with people I hate to be around for my grandbabies. If they can’t they don’t deserve to be around her. Good luck.

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Best to cut the negatives out of yalls life that is not good for your child or you.

Stop answering the phone, send a text saying ‘sorry busy, mothers group’ or some other nonsense that could be real

tell them both when they grow up you will be happy to let them see her

Then follow through on what you said. Time out for both

I cut toxic people out. I love my family but I have no problem taking everyone out if my kids mental health will be better.

Tell them neither one will see the baby until they start acting like adults not spoiled brats the baby is yours not theres plan and simple