Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to handle MIL who runs her mouth? - Mamas Uncut
Damn right you are if she can’t respect you than she shouldn’t be around you or your kids
She owes you an apology. Her grandkids too! Especially your step children. That’s no way for grandma to act. She should be ashamed of herself. 
Stay away. Do yourself and your kids a favor and stay away from that nonsense. You don’t need to give up your peace to make space for disrespect. From anyone.
She should be mature enough to not say anything around kids first off secondly she shouldn’t be gossiping if she has a problem she needs to go straight to you and talk it out id call her now and explain everything you know and tell her if she has problems to directly come to you this is childish
I’d just let it go. It’s not like it’s going to stop her and the apology won’t be sincere.
My ex mil is officially cut from my kids. If there is no respect there is no need to be around my children.
You better nip that shit quick or it’s just going to get worse…my ex mil and I did not get along but I was nice Bc she was my exes mom…he didn’t really like her either…I’ll be damned someone talk down on me when they have nothing
She def owes you an apology. My MIL did the same to me and my step kids mom actually told her not to talk bad about me as I am their step mom. Needless to say I never received an apology and I haven’t had a relationship with her for about 2 years now. MIL can be so cruel. I’m so sorry to hear this hopefully she does apologize to you!
I wouldn’t let me kids around my MIL if she talked crap about me. I’d even block her from social media.
If they can’t respect you they shouldn’t have access to you. Fuck her 
Girl I feel your pain hands down!!! Going through the same crap with my possible FMIL and I finally just had to tell her off yesterday
Kinda depends on if what she said was true or not
While I typically like to say life is short or don’t keep the kids away… as I’ve grown older I’ve learned, don’t let anyone disrespect you in front of your children. I think you’re justified. It’s not only disrespectful to them too but if you give in it teaches them it’s okay to allow others to be disrespectful.
Sounds like there’s a lack of respect all around. Maybe family counseling. I’ve lived a day or two and I’ve learned you can’t control others only how we react. There are a lot of difficult people but we aren’t doing our kids any favors if we feed into the negativity
Absolutely! I’ve struggled with this with mutliple in-laws of mine. I see them on my daughters birthday but not really much else. If you can’t be respectful, or even be adult enough to apologize, you can’t expect to keep coming around. Just my opinion though!
Yeah, you’re not going to get that apology. I’ve been waiting 8 years for my MIL to apologize lol
So, I would stop seeing them for a while until you heal yourself from this situation. Then with cautious, you can see them again if wanted or just cut it off completely.
Stand up for yourself you can still be kind and tell her to stop. You’re both adults it’s not ok Infront of kids.
Cut her off. You will never get the apology
Yes, and an apology is in order!
Ha! I would’ve been in her face by now!! Talking shit about me is all fine and dandy, but in front of the kids!? Oh hell no!!! One thing I do not, and will not, tolerate!
Did you tell MIL how you feel and ask for an apology?
Keep away and kids too bc that’s BS!
My fiance’s mom and his family talk shit about me because when we fight he runs to them and tells them I did stuff but leaves out all the stuff he did or said or threatened so now they all hate me. And because i wouldn’t go to her house at Christmas last year because of covid they have all said me and my kids aren’t part of the family. Well me and my fiance have a 15 month old together so if me and my other kids aren’t allowed my 15 month old isn’t either. She said all my kids well he’s mine to lol
I would want apology in front of the kids. It’s never to early to show them good examples, everyone makes mistakes and must own up and correct them.
I would have a conversation with her about what was said. How it hurts you and the family. Have your husband present and supporting YOU. Then explain how important it is that you are not out down in front of any of the kids because it teaches them to disrespect you, hurts them and confuses them. It’s not a healthy environment. You don’t want to demand an apology because it needs to come from the heart. But you need to lay down rules. If she can not respect them, then she can not see the children without you or your husband present.
Once mine ran her mouth about me, I made sure she didn’t like me.
Unfortunately I know this all to well my mil blames me for all the good things in her sons life! She thinks I’m a problem. He now holds a steady job after 10years of not having one. He owns his truck and has a nice motorcycle in the driveway! Yet she constantly talks bad about me! I have learned unfortunately toxic is toxic family or not! We no longer allow her granddaughters around her for multiple reasons. So I say do what’s best for your family! If in time she can change and be beneficial for the kids then by all means let them see her. But that’s just my opinion everyone has one hun!
I understand and you do deserve and apology, having said that I wouldn’t keep your kids from her cause adult issues should never be kid issues… if she however starts doing it to your kids then it’s justified
Why do people consistently use their kids as pawns? Did she harm your kids? Nope.
Suck it up. Make her aware if she has an issue with you, you’d appreciate her talking to you about it. And if the information came from the kids, keep in mind kids don’t always tell the entire truth nor do they always get a story correct.
Disrespecting you is Disrespecting them.
This needs to be dealt with by your husband, it’s his mom and his ex. He needs to stand up for you and put a stop to her gossiping about you no matter if it was true or not. She should have respect, end of story.
My EX MIL always bad mouthed me behind my back. NEVER changed. She STILL says ugly things about me and I’ve been divorced from her son for 5 yrs
Agree with the above. Husband needs to handle it, I personally wouldn’t want my Kids around them. Lawd knows what’s said and done when you leave them SMH.
I just wouldn’t have her around them period.
Whose to say she won’t do it again … My words would be you know my kids really don’t need to be around someone who bad mouths their mother so you take care and have a nice life bye
yes you are justified
Yes, and tell his baby mama to back off.
I don’t speak to my in laws at all. My daughter doesn’t even know them. No matter who it is that is toxic you have every right to keep them away
Parenting is about trying to instill values and teaching that all actions good or bad have the coresponding consequences, your mother in laws actions are a perfect chance for you to show them how much you “value” trash talking relatives
Anyone that is that negatively outspoken about me would never be around my kids until they gave an apology with changed behavior.
Dont engage with norma bates
Currently at war with my mother in law, she constantly goes behind my back to do things I explicitly told her not to such as feed our autistic daughter utter junk for days on their visits which throws her off completely for weeks with her behavior and addiction to bad foods, that is the tip of the iceberg she has even done illegal things and that was it for us plus She also talks shit behind my back and honestly blatantly lies its really sad we had a blow out in February and the kids have not gone to see them since… its a really sad situation 
we have offered her a chance to change and just be normal and spend time with grandkids but she refuses. Im pregnant now and doubt she will get to know or see the baby…
You have every right to be angry, keep yourself and your kids away until she can apologize!!!
Just be the bigger person and let karma deal with it.
Kids know more than you think and pick up on things to realize who’s in the right or wrong.
Ain’t no telling what all she says about you to your own kids as well as your step kids. I’ll stay away & keep the kids away.
If it were me it would take more than an apology, just think what she says behind your back.
Heck yes I would stay away from her until she apologized. No need for her to do that to begin with, let alone in front of your children!
I would be tell her well since you like to talk about me around the kids then I guess they don’t need to see you. You have a nice day. Period! Stand up for yourself and the kids. I wouldn’t give a damn if she liked it or not.
I waited years for mine to give an apology. After years of her being nothing but a nasty old hag to me and my kids but to fb and the rest of the family she tried to seem like she was oh so good lol
You know what I got, sorry even though I don’t know what I’m sorry about 
I decided to continue being the bigger person and accepting the apology cleaning the slate only to have her talk crap about me an the kids to my fiance at the time the fil and bil so much more but my point is you won’t get anywhere if it’s that toxic now it will stay toxic.
You need to either accept it or get the hell out and I can tell you being out is the best feeling.
I was in for 6 long years but I did get some great grandparents who are so lovely and kind and it is special that my children have great grandparents to know and love 
Regardless of how someone feels about you they should never bad mouth you in front of your kids or step kids.
Kids need to be taught also to watch the behavior of others as you show your best behavior in your life. It will help them in the long run. Your kids will definitely appreciate the right way wrong way to treat family by example and talking. But yes, your husband should handle this and stand with you!
Tell your husband about it…… she probably trash talks you too him too! When they trash talk you, they will talk to anyone about you! It took 8 years for my husband to finally open his eyes and see how his mother, sisters and sister in laws treated me. I used my phone to record when we would go to visit at get togethers…… then one day they were so confident in themselves that one suggested we divorce to him…… he stepped back and starting paying attention. It didn’t go very well for them! It has been 2.5 years and we still don’t go around them!
Absolutely you were disrespect at she knows what she’s doing
They’re your kids if you don’t want someone around them it don’t matter who they are you don’t got to let them around your child
Its not good to involve the kids so becareful with your decisions but i do support you!
Ugh, Been in this situation soooo many times! I learned quick my husbands grandmother and his ex wife are exactly the same (they hated eachother UNTIL my husband married me) then they were best friends. I’ve been married to my husband 5yrs now together almost 8.
Don’t expect an apology, Because it will happen again.
Choose your peace and sanity over all. You don’t have to have any type of relationship with anyone who would belittle you and out you down. Period.
My husband still talks, visits and helps his grandma but she hasn’t been to my home, doesn’t come for holidays and we don’t speak at all. His children go visit their grandma and I stay home with my bio-daughter. No one is welcome in my home or my life unless they are bringing love and light to those who live here.
I am 100% ok with that. I decided my marriage was worth more to me and my own personal mental health was worth more than some shit talk grandma lol.
I would keep away even if she DID apologize. She showed how she feels about you; and anyone who is openly antagonistic towards me is not someone who is healthy for my children to be around.
Sounds like my mother thinks before speaking too late damage done. I have left my parents house the same day because of the toxic nasty comments from my mother’s mouth. How many times are you going to be told and still think it’s everyone else. Stand up to her and when she says it’s my house I will say whatever I want wrong I am a adult and I have 3 kids who don’t need to listen to toxic talk. Don’t back stab me or anyone else because I don’t like what you are saying.
Sounds like the kids deserve an apology as well. Thats disrespectful talking about you in front of them period. She definitely owes you an apology as well but the kids shouldnt have to listen to that being said. Rather its true or not is irrelevant
You’re justified for not letting your kids around her period.
The father should be handling this since its his kids and parents.
Absolutely, kids need to be shown an example of behaviors not to tolerate.
It will not get better and she is not going to apologize. Your husband should be standing up for your to her since it’s his mother. Similar situation here and my husband put his mother in her place, unfortunately they have not spoken since, she has made no effort to contact him or our children, not surprised, she never had anything to do with them before. She just always wanted pictures to show off and I quit giving them to her. I wish people would quit acting like family is family, blood or family, toxic is toxic.
You should talk to your partner first, its not your place if his kids don’t get to see their grandparent because she said something about you. You deserve an apologie for sure, but don’t go out of your way to do that.
If his kids don’t want to see her cause of that then ok. But if they still wanna see her don’t be petty like that by not allowing them unless your partner agrees that its for the best.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to handle MIL who runs her mouth? - Mamas Uncut
If she’s the type to talk smack in front of children, chances are, you’re never getting an apology.
How did you find out? Were you there and heard it? If so, why didn’t you say something then? If you weren’t, can you fully trust the person who told you?
What is your husband doing about it? It’s his kids, his ex and his mom… I would never allow that either. You are absolutely correct in keeping them away but I doubt you’ll ever get apology if she’s one to speak ill in front of children! But I would worry what she’ll say in private to kids after all this.
Hard situation, I’m sorry you’re all going through that. Like divorce and blended families aren’t hard enough! Best of luck!
Whew thats awful. I would talk to your husband take a united front and go talk to her. Remain calm. Dont look for an apology. Just inform her of her behaviour.
One honest conversation. Tell her how your raising your children and the values that are important to you. Let her know blaming, shaming, putting others down, are not the behaviours you want to instill in them. Then tell her the behaviour she demonstrates. Irrespective of you and how it made you feel you are trying to create better humans. Set a boundary. This is to no longer happen. And if it does…remind her of that conversation and let her go.
Absolutely! First off as an adult she should know better then to speak poorly of you in front of any children regardless of what her feelings may be. Secondly you are showing your kids healthy boundaries by not allowing this to go on
Husband should say something to his mother in defense of you…have a talk with him about it and ask him to speak to her…with YOU in the same room…
Your step kids mom should have stood up to you.
You may never get an apology but you should let her know that you know what she has said & that you will not tolerate it. Also it’s your MiL so hubby needs to definitely to be involved & fully back you. The ex needs to know as well, that you & your husband will not allow or tolerate disparaging comments, unless they are ok with you guys doing it! Seriously ask them that. If it continues, I would bring it up to the custody courts. They forget that kids have ears & mouths & they will repeat things.
Why withhold the kids UNTIL you get an apology? Do you really think the apology will mean anything more than a joke at your expense? It won’t stop or change anything 
We have no room for shit talkers and abusers.in our lives.
Not only should you get an apology, she should apologize to the children and the apology should be done in front of everybody, to show what it means to apologize to someone when you do something wrong, use it as a learning moment for everyone
Yes. If she can’t respect you she won’t respect your kids or her own kid.
I’m not a fan of withholding kids from relatives, but you could keep your distance as a family until you confront the problem, and solve the issue.
I absolutely HATE my Monster in law. But at the end of the day, it’s still their gramma, they had to figure out for themselves she was a twat.
Break her hip! J/k 
dont expect an apology
Yes you are don’t take. Them back
I agree with you but using your kids as a way to get back at someone is messed up
I got the same issue only it’s my daughter’s MIL who talks about me in front of my 7 year old granddaughter who isn’t biologically hers to begin with and didn’t think MY granddaughter would tell me! The issue is I can’t confront her about ANYTHING because my son n law will get hurt in the end so I have NO choice but to shut my mouth!
Cut her out of yours and your kids life 100%.
Your husband should put her in check. But no you’re not wrong for keeping your kids away from anyone who’s toxic.
Myself and family would be staying away from the negativity. Don’t need those negative ppl in your life. I would be asking the hubby if he was going to allow that type of behavior. Then I would be done
God bless you.
My mil was horrible for all of the same crap. Even went so far as to push a wedge between her son and I. I forgave her for everything she had done previously cause he was always saying she is old and stuck in her ways etc but this time I forgave her for myself and cut her out of my life completely. He wants to see her etc he can do it anywhere else but my house cause she isn’t welcome on my property
Stand up for yourself say something don’t bring kids around her
Protect your children from toxic people until hubby stands up for you. Hopefully she hasn’t neutered him. As a parent it is your job to teach your children how others are to be treated. If the children ask why talk to them with hubby present to teach him as well.
Congratulations for taking the kindness stance.
Fuck her.no your not wrong
Quote her to herself in front of everybody, call her on her shit. Narcs hate when they look like the shit they are
CUT her Loose! People like this specially at her age will never change! Don’t be afraid to cut her off!