seeking advice on sleep regression.
My 11-month-old son recently started having overnights at his dads — 1x a week. I understand sleep regression is a thing but he apparently sleeps 12 hours straight at his dads (so he says) while when he’s with me the other 6 nights a week, he fights sleep then will sleep maybe 3 hours before I put him in my bed with me, and even then he tosses and turns and cries. When he wakes up in his crib, he just SCREAMS but is fine once he sees me. Again, I know sleep regression is a thing, but I do worry about his well being. Maybe he’s not comfortable at his dads? I’m looking for any experience, advice, or even proof/studies that show overnights may be affecting his behavior at a young age. I want his father involved but willing to taking smaller steps if needed until he is comfortable.
My son has always slept better at my dads and my mother in laws than he has at home. He has your smell around when he is at home so he knows his permanent comfort is right there so will wake more. My son has slept through countless times at other people’s houses than he has at home. He has never slept through at home and he is 2. I dont think it has anything to do with how comfortable he is or isn’t at those houses.
He sounds comfortable at his dads if he’s sleeping fine and for 12 hrs. If he wasn’t comfrotable then he’d be doing the same thing at his dads. Talk to his dad and see how he does bedtime at gis house.
If he is sleeping 12 hours straight at the dad’s but sleeping like crap at the mom’s, how is the baby not comfortable at the dad’s? If anything, I’d ask what the dad was doing that might be different from what you are doing and maybe go with that.
Ask what the dad is doing differently
If he is sleeping at his Dad’s how is that a bad thing? Maybe Dad wears him out. Maybe they sounds around him are more comforting. Maybe he is crying and Dad just ignores him. You aren’t there so you can’t know. Just keep working on when he is with you. He knows you are there and will come to him maybe don’t go to him right away. Let him be fussy so he learns to self sooth and put himself back to sleep. I am not saying let him scream and get himself in a tizzy, but give him time to put himself back to sleep
He sounds more than comfortable at dads…
Night terrors started for my son around that age. Also know your son feels safe so he is going to be more transparent with you. Your ex is probably lying.
I’d say hes more than comfortable at dads ask him what he does see if you can copy the routine
Maybe room temperature can be in effect if it’s hot in your house and he isn’t comfortable with the heat he just keeps waking up or maybe your home is too cold for him. Then also it can be your night routine like the others before me it wouldn’t hurt to ask his dad what he is doing to get him to sleep all night.
Communication! Talk to the dad clearly babes is JUST FINE with dad. Dont put your own feelings before your child’s. Find out what he’s doing differently that makes baby so comfortable to sleep 12 hrs. D
My daughter sleeps amazingly at EVERYONE ELSES house, but never mine shes now 5
Does dad let him sleep with him? My daughters dad lets her sleep with him so she sleeps thru the night and takes a good nap when hes home with her. I didnt at first and she woke up alot I ended up giving up and now she sleeps with me lol. But anyway there has to be something the dads doing. Y’all are co parenting I would try to work together and have conversations about the baby there maybe some way he can help u and u help him when it comes to the baby. Learn from each other! I know as mothers we think we know best for our child and most the time we do but dads arent useless idk where i would be without my kids dads they help alot.
My daughter is 3 and sleeps great and grandmas house but doesnt sleep worth shit at home. Its a proven fact kids are tougher for their mothers
I feel like if he wasnt comfortable at his dads then he wouldn’t sleep. Not saying hes not comfortable with you but your mom and kids usually give mom hard time lolol.
Um that’s a good thing… he’s probably so worn out from the new environment he just needs the sleep. Nothing wrong with a sleeping child
I dont think him going to dads is a problem at all. My daughter is almost 2 and still sleeps WAY better when she goes to my aunt house. Plus babied are always worse for their mommies. Going to dads isnt an issue
If you are willing to take his nights away, then it sounds like your jealous from him sleeping for so long there. He doesn’t sleep at your house because he is either uncomfortable or he knows he can get away with it.
Im not trying to sound rude girl but you seem to be feeling bitter towards dad and letting it affect the relationship he has with his child. coparenting can be hard i know. Im a step mother and have been raising my husbands daughter since she was two. Shes almost 6 now and we now have a daughter together as well! Just keep letting him visit and put your feelings aside. Its important for the baby and you that he has his father
Sleeps 12 hours straight at dads! Definitely sounds like he loves and is comfortable at dads!
Definitely need to be talking to the dad about what is is doing and maybe follow what dad is doing!
I’m confused. He’s sleeping good at his dads but not your house and that somehow equates to him being uncomfortable at his dads? If anything maybe you should be asking advice
Also you can try practicing safe sleep and see if that helps y’all a baby better at your house! Plenty of different methods you can try!
If he’s sleeping that long at his dad’s then it sounds like he’s comfortable. You just sound bitter that he sleeps better there
If he’s sleeping at dads hes comfortable…why doesnt anyone want fathers involved. Seems like everyone complains when dads arent involved but when they are that’s no good either. Smh. Find a real reason to take dads overnight away like abuse…sheesh
My kids sleep at home from 8 pm til 5:30 am and at everyone else’s home they won’t sleep much at all. My nephew sleeps all night for me but not for his mama. Kids are just wierd.
Also ever think maybe it’s you he’s not comfortable with if he’s acting like a fool for you and not daddy ? I mean he is comfortable at daddy’s and he sleeps. Yet at your house he doesn’t. And you want to take away daddy’s overnight because you are jealous. Maybe be a responsible parent and find out why he isn’t sleeping six days a week at yours. . .
Or, dad could be lying about how long he slept, dad might have slept through his crying and never heard him (mine always swore he never heard ours cry at night)
He’s definitely comfortable at his dads if he’s sleeping 12 hours?
My son is the opposite, he sleeps 12 hours at my house and his dads he barely sleeps. He’s 10 months. But has his own room at my house, and has a routine here so his dad does things a little different.
Just ask his dad what he’s doing different, does he have his own room there? Does he follow the same routine at both homes?
Do not take his overnight away… it’s easier to get them adjusted at a younger age, and it’s not his one overnight where he actually gets a good nights sleep that is the problem here.
Ok. Well then I guess the fact that sleep better in a hotel is me screaming out for help instead of the fact that I don’t have to wake up to laundry and screaming children at 5am. Come on. You sound kind of ridiculous. It could be anything. He naps less or not at all over at dad’s because it’s… more fun, more noisy, less noisy, different, more interesting, you name it. Maybe dad’s is hot and he likes the warmth, or cool and he’s more comfortable, or dad has a fan running, or the house hums in a relaxing way. Maybe dad plays music for him, or has a stricter routine, or let’s him sleep in the bed. Maybe dad is a heavy sleeper and the baby wakes up and cries and dad sleeps right through it and the baby is only crying out of boredom or habit, so he stops when he’s tired and falls back to sleep, and then sleeps longer because he’s tuckered himself out and dad feels great about the whole thing, none the wiser. But NONE of that means the baby is suffering or that dad should take a step back, yet that’s STRAIGHT where you went, looking for studies, even, to back up your crazy theory that him sleeping longer at dads house means he’s uncomfortable and dad doesn’t know what he’s doing. You looking for proof to take to court?? Come on. That’s a huge and rather obvious leap. It’s only been 11 months. You shouldn’t be this bitter or distrustful yet, because it will NEVER work. Because it’s never going to be about you or his father! Talk to his father and get their schedule and try to implement that for a place to start, instead of deciding the exact opposite of what most people think when they find a place where they sleep well. Remember, you picked him to raise a child with, so you need to work with him.
Get him on a good night time routine! Bed lotion him jammies and a bottle and put him in his crib and leave him there! Even if he crys don’t pick him up. If he has a blanket or a passie just let him sooth his self. You have to sleep train him.
Wait. What?! He sleeps great at his dads house (or so he says), so why would you say that he must not be comfortable there?!? I’m so confused by that. Maybe allow the dad more overnights for your sanity and so baby can learn to sleep better. Ask his dad for advice on what he does/doesn’t do that is helping the baby sleep thru the night?
Baby knows you will come get him and uses that!
It could be that your son knows that at your house you are there and wants to be with mom. And when he’s at his dads, he knows you aren’t there and doesn’t bother to wake up because he knows you won’t be there? My daughter is 15 months and is the same way. Wakes up after not too long only because she wants to see me. She is plenty comfortable just a mommas girl and wants to be with me.
My son wouldn’t sleep without white noise, maybe his dad’s house is different sounds, go and see ask if you can come over after he’s asleep and just observe the difference is do anything for my kid to see what can help.
You honestly sound like you’re trying your hardest to find any reason to hate on dad. Even talking yourself into it. Weird post.
Yeah I wouldn’t try having overnights at dads taken away. It sounds like little one does much better there and it just might backfire on you… kinda like this post.
If the kid sleeps 12 hours there how would he not be comfortable there lol.
He sleeps better for dad then you… unless hes sleeping threw the babies crying but for 12 hours I doubt it. He would wake him up atleast once.
Y’all a bunch of bitches.
He is comfortable at his dads for sure or he wouldn’t sleep like he does. However at home he may just want his momma. If beibg with his dad is new then the routine they have there is different… Like with you he may have slept in your bed and was used to seeing you and getting uo with you at night. Atvhis dads he may just sleep all night because hes not used to it or hes just a custom to the schedule there. Don’t mind all these jerks beibg so rude. Your concerned and possibly a first time parent so you don’t knownor understand what could be happening. Sorry people couldn’t explain with out being total bitches!
Kids never sleep as well for mom. Ever.
So instead of talking to Dad your first instinct is to take away overnights? Wow.
Sounds like dad must be wearing him out more or something. Me and my husband do our best to wear our 8 mo old son out everyday and he generally sleeps 10-12 hrs per night. Ask dad what he is doing differently than you to get him to sleep so well, I would only be concerned if he’s using meds or straight ignoring him all night…
Sounds like baby dont like sleeping in YOUR environment. And u want to change the visits so where he doesnt even get one full nights sleep a week. Sounds like u just dont like daddy and trying to use your kid against him. That’s pathetic
I’m not understanding how sleeping more at Dad is a bad thing? I’m seriously confused?
Sounds like he’s more comfortable at his dads just saying lol
I must come in again because I ran this past my hubby and he says no way will an 11month old sleep straight for 12 hours without being given something … Maybe there is reason for concern 🤷 that’s another Dad’s point of view.
It sounds like he does well at his dad while sleeping so I wouldn’t take overnights away.
Has it occurred to anyone that dad might not be telling the truth, trying to get back at mom?
sounds like he’s more comfortable at his dad’s house then with you
How are you trying to take away overnights with dad when he actually sleeps BETTER with him?
You sound like a bitter baby mama. I would be asking what dad does or doesn’t do and figure out. Maybe he knows that you’ll pick him up all the time, or feed him during the night.
Sounds like you need to just stop being a bitter baby mama.
What im getting is you dont believe his dad when he says he sleeps 12 hours. From my personal experience he could be sleeping fine, maybe not 12 hours. I could always tell if my boys slept like crap at their dads, as they would come home and be asleep as soon as theyd relax a bit. Also if your child is a screamer, alot of men cant handle it for long, specially if they arent use to it. So maybe talk to dad and see what their routine is, and mimick it. I know my ex isnt honest about alot, thankfully his gf is and will call hin out if he isnt telling me the truth.
I wear my 21 month old grandson and 1 yr old grand daughter completely out. They’re out cold between 8 and 9pm. Ashton wakes up early sometimes but usually they both get up around 8am.
Honestly my now 2 year old slept threw the night with no issue till she was close to 18 months. Then she started waking up threw the night and now will even wake up for several hours and refuse to sleep. Maybe dad isnt the issue? I know if my daughter got to spend several hoirs at the park ( no yard and being pregnant is limmiting my movment and lifting ability as I’m on 2nd floor) when it comes to bed time she is out and will even go 6hrs without needing a cup and sleeps between 9-10 hours strait. But I know she used to want to sleep with me and when I weened her off it it was hard and she wouldnt sleep right without me. Now she is used to it.
I didn’t read she thought about taking over nights away. And why are you all being so rude and judgmental? That being said when did his sleep habits change? Before or after the sleep overs start. If it started after it could be just a change in his routine and going back and forth. It Especially happens when they are younger. Kids like routine and stability and that was changed. Try to keep it on the same nights so he can count and learn when he goes to dad’s. This may bring him a little comfort. Get him a blanket for just dad’s house but bring back with him and sleep with his blanket so your scent or a little of u is with him. Give him a picture of yourself so he can look at it. Kids are more bonded with moms than anything and 1 night can disrupt his life until he get used to it and older. These are some of the things I did when my 6 kids went to someone else’s house or to daycare when they were young. It’s scary for them.
Sorry you are having trouble with this. My grandchildren especially my granddaughter and youngest grandson sleep better at our house or their Dad’s than at their Mom’s. Granddaughter says it’s because she feels safer with us than her. To much noise and if they wake up they know we are here.
Why is everyone jumping on her saying she’s bitter? What if her ex is just saying that to push her buttons like look at how great he is doing here even though he might not truly sleeping 12 hours a night. I know my ex is that way. My two oldest go to their Dad’s every other weekend. When they first started going there he would constantly tell me how they would throw fits and wouldn’t want to come home to me. I found out a couple months later he was telling them all this stuff he would take them to do, but he couldn’t because his time was up and they had to go back to me. He would tell them these things right before dropping them off. You guys don’t know their story. How about you stop being hateful and bitter and try offering some helpful advice. What’s that saying if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all.
Strange the initial thought is baby isn’t comfortable at dad’s. Children, just like adults, generally sleep better when they’re comfortable. As previous poster said, talk to dad to see what he’s doing at his home. What daily activity looks like, if baby sleeps in his own bed, has a fan, etc. Or, as someone else pointed out, maybe dad is making up stories, if that’s the kids of person he is. However, I can guarantee the solution to the child sleeping better at dad’s isn’t to limit his visits.
You just said he sleep 12 hours maybe he does like sleeping with u
Yeah right…dad is lying, ignoring baby for 12 hours or drugging him.