How to handle toddler tantrums?

When she does them at home make her continue as long as she is not hurting anyone… tell her it is a privilege to act that way and she will earn in when she does it for 20 minutes or you choose long enough time to exhaust her… this gets rid of the behavior.

Mom did you ever do that? If not why or what happened when you did.
I don’t exer remember doing , but one trip to the bathroom with mom in my life was all it took .

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If this is out of the blue has anything happened? A change in home life, school etc? Sometimes kids can just have off days like us. Ask her what the problem is she may open up to you.

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Yikes! this ended up being a damn novel🤣
Sorry bout that. Hopefully something I said was helpful😳

Unfortunately tantrums come with the territory. Thankfully they do outgrow them. I have a now almost 3 year old boy and his tantrums aren’t really that bad, but one time a few months back he changed it up during a trip to home depot. He had a total melt down walking to the checkout line when he couldn’t play with the power tools🤦🏼‍♀️
Zero to 100 in 5.5 seconds flat. Dad was at work, but I had my other kiddos with me, so I was able to send them out to the car while I finished paying. Dang kid continued that tantrum the entire way home too, so rather than engage I just turned on the music (not loud) put the car in drive and completely blocked it all out (kids HATE that) he eventually got over it and I talked to him in the driveway. At two years old they don’t understand much, but I definitely still tried to make it as clear as possible that we cannot and do not get to behave like that… In public or at home. It was also the perfect time to explain to him that his actions have consequences and it will never be worth it. I have no idea how much of that information was retained, but knock on wood, it hasn’t happened since. Having gone through this with three other kids before him, I’ve learned that lots of things can help trigger a tantrum aside from them just not getting their way.
Example- skipping nap time, too many errands in a day, long car rides, excessive amount of time browsing the store etc. It’s no excuse, but things like that do play a part in it sometimes. So what I find helpful is tracking his behavior/cues. By doing that, I know when he’s had just about enough and it’s time to head for the check out.
I get in and get out as quickly as possible too and I avoid any and all toy sections like the plague!!! Most times we make it out with zero issues, occasionally we miss our mark by a few minutes and he starts to get a little fidgety and anxious. When that happens, I just remind him of the consequences and he usually stops before anything occurs. But mostly, I just try to run the majority of errands when he can stay home with dad, or send dad and he stays home with me. Toddlers tend to get over stimulated rather easily and sometimes quickly and since tantrums are pretty much a given at this age, if I don’t have to risk it then I won’t🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s just easier to avoid the whole thing imo. I’ve never experienced the hitting or mean remarks from a toddler and I’m sorry you did. I can only imagine the heartbreak you felt in that moment, so that above all else would probably be the main focus of our conversation. Reacting like that at any age is a big no no and needs to be addressed firmly but calmly. I mean I totally expect the occasional tantrum, overreaction, meltdown, but I will never expect or accept physical contact and hurtful words to be included. I’d also suggest that you don’t buy her anything but necessities for a good while either. It sounds like it’s the perfect time for her to learn that getting certain things is a privilege and not a right.
Keep your head up, take a deep breath and know that you are not alone in this battle :heart:
There are millions of us going through it right along with you!
I promise it gets better :raised_hands:t3:
… Until they turn into teenagers​:rofl::sob::woozy_face:

Can’t ask me nothing like this cause my answer is always “WHOOP EM” :woman_shrugging:t4:

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She needs a counselor

Just be consistent. That’s it. Find a punishment and use it every single time she acts up.

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Don’t be embarrassed. I’ve had to take my now 4 year old out of a restaurant doing the same thing. Thankfully I was with my family and just asked that they pack up my meal and bring it to me later. Out the door we went. Let me tell you, the next time he started up in a restaurant I threatened to do it again and he straightened right up. They learn. They don’t call 4 year old 4nados for nothing.

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Don’t be embarrassed!
I have walked out of many stores. Just stay firm. They will stop, but only if you keep up everything on your end and not cave in when you feel bad.

I took my daughter to the store the other day. She started acting up (she was tired from no nap) she kept trying to stand up in the seat of the cart and grab stuff off the shelf and I told her no she started throwing a fit I stopped the cart and told her we would leave the store if she wasn’t going to behave. She stopped when I said that. Might not work for all kids and my daughter is only 2

3 words WHOOP THAT ASS!

I can’t help but I am going through the same thing only my son does it every day without fail a minimum of 10 times a day, I’m currently going through a “parenting course” because apparently his “acting out” from no longer being an only child but his been doing it along time before his sister was born and the family care person hasn’t listened to what I’ve explained :roll_eyes::triumph: so if anyone does have tips send them my way also!!

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Kids have big emotions that they don’t understand how to express. I think what you did was right. Maybe next time get on her level and just calmly speak to her and be like I understand that you are very angry that you can not get the book today. I would be angry to. Could you take some deep breaths with me (mimic taking deep breaths). I would follow up with when we get home I would love to read you any book that you already have.

As a parent of 4 I always try to set expectations of how I would like my children to act before entering the store. Such as we are only getting a few things today we are not toy shopping and we won’t be able to get candy at the register. I know that you guys are going to be my big helpers and when we get home I would love to show you how happy I am that you guys were great for mommy. What are some things we could do to show you my appreciation? Want to color or play a game together?

If all else fails I break out the electronics :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Send her to her bedroom when she acts a foolish make her sit on her bed bo playing nothing for 30 min and everytime she does this take away something she loves dolls ect

Id put a straight jacket and muzzle on him. He’d calm down then.
(Just kidding)

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My austistic child does this every time we go out of the home. Idk if its anxiety or what but I have to carry her out like a sack of potatoes sometimes. I would make an appointment with your doctor. There could be an underlying issue.

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I guess I got lucky and my 4yr old absolutely loves shopping, even if he doesn’t get something. Not sure why. But if he randomly decided to do that, him and I would have a come to Jesus meeting in the middle of the store :sweat_smile::ok_hand:t2:

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The few times my daughter would have a tantrum, I would grab her by the shoulders and tell her - that is enough- stop it right now!!! She usually did. My Mom told me she had a few tantrums when she was little and her Mother would throw a glass of water in her face and that stopped her.

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My daughter did this.i laid down in floor kicked and.screamed just like her. It stopped her

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So very sorry. I hate this so very much.

Beat her behind an punish her take every thing away

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A good smack on the ar…

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Umm the only thing that’s worked so far is me getting on the ground and mimicking the tantrum also. I think it kind of checks the child a little bit. Mine starts laughing

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Put her in her room. Explain why she’s there explain that this behaviour isn’t acceptable. It is not ok to lash out because you don’t get your own way.
I think she is just testing the boundaries, and it went too far. Small people with big emotions.

My son use to throw epic tantrums when in public between the ages of 1-6 years old. He was diagnosed with ADHD when he was in the 1st grade, which helped explain those epic tantrums while in public. He was always pretty good at home, with just the two of us, but when over stimulated, those tantrums would surface. Common issue with children who suffer with ADHD, and no amount of good parenting will prevent them. The only thing you can do, is remove the child from what triggered the tantrum to begin with, which you did. Not saying your child has ADHD, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she does, but ADHD or not, removing the child from the environment that triggered the tantrum is always, the best solution.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to handle toddler tantrums? - Mamas Uncut

Next time don’t take her to the store.

And when she is acting correctly take her and let her know not to ask for anything because you are only going for the things you need. Kids need to earn things. Remember your not her friend!

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Sounds like someone was having a bad day!!! She’s only 4. We all have a bad day every once in a while!!!don’t let it bother you to much.

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Nawww don’t be embarrassed, it happens and it’s normal.
Just remember when in these situations to remain calm, don’t bother talking or trying to reason during the tantrum as they can not understand reason when in that state of distress, you literally just have to ride it out, take her to a safe place and let her scream and kick and just ignore it. She will soon realise that is not how she gets attention or the things she wants. When she is calm and able to understand reason again, re-iterate why she couldn’t have it and maybe next time if she does the right thing she can get it :heart::ok_hand: good luck mumma

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You did exactly what you should have done. Removed her from the store since she was making a scene.
Remind her that that behavior is inappropriate in stores/ restaurants/public etc and it will not be tolerated. You will take her home and she can behave like that in her room.
Be consistent to!!!

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My boy did this. If we were out in public, we immediately removed ourselves (home). Sit in your room till you calm down.

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Don’t let it bother you too much! This is not your fault however it does need to be addressed appropriately. My recommendation to you if this ever happens again or if you haven’t done so already, when you get home and she’s more calm and collected sit her down and have a conversation with her about what happened, her behavior, how it was incorrect, and how she’s going to have a consequence for it. Although our kids are just kids, We sometimes forget that they have feelings too and even worse, they’re little so they are learning how to control those feelings and how to handle them. They understand a lot more than what we think, hang in there!

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Never give in to a tantrum. Keep her safe and don’t change what you have to get done. Where did she get the idea for this behavior. My daughter qould do this at an older age since we adopted her at age 6 we had a lot of relearning ahead. A policeman watch one evening in a parking lot while my daughter had a tantrum. It was hard but I kept my cool. My boys were great and I didn’t let her behavior stop or change what we had to get done that evening. Best wishes and prayers to you and your daughter.

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Is she in some kind of pain? A toothache, an earache, anything? I know it could just be a way to manipulate you. It seems like you handled it right though.
I’ve had to do the same thing, myself. I’ve also thrown a tantrum back. They were so shocked to see me beat them at their own game, they went silent :joy:
If my kids ask me for a hundred things in the store, I say, “But,can I tell you what I want? I want a new car, please, please.”

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I’d take Her to a sitter’s while shopping! I wouldn’t let my daughter go in a store after stealing Halloween candy! She had to stay in the car! This was before it was illegal! Maybe a psychologist that works with children! I told My daughter that They are different Drs and she could tell them anything and not be in trouble! She opened up the 1st visit the wife/team was shocked She was Soo open up! They had said that it may take 3 visits to feel Safe Soo I talked to MY daughter ahead of time!! Wish You & Your’s the best! Before that in a Mall my daughter had thrown herself onto the floor and I kept on walking away but kept watching Her!

This is what worked for me. Taking notice of what my child wants and having a discussion about it rather than just flat out saying no (that’s so cool! Ooh! I like that too etc) then explaining we cant get it right now because blah blah. This really did work!

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I would have taken my daughter into the bathroom or a private place. Got down to get level holding her arms and firmly put her in her place. If you state any threats in this conversation, make sure you follow through with them. Don’t say your going to do something and not do it. That was my biggest issue. Empty threats.

I’ve went from you’re grounded to allowing them to earn time on their electronics or TV.

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Sounds like she might have been overwhelmed and overstimulated. Or maybe didn’t feel good especially if she usually doesn’t have them. My daughter usually gets them when she’s tired, doesn’t feel good, or there’s too much going on all at once.
You handled it the best you could don’t stress to much about it

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I ask to take a picture for later if that doesn’t work I pick up my son and let my better half finish shopping.

My son once told me he wanted a new mom cause I would not buy him a toy at the grocery store, I spotted a lady at the meat county and told him she looks nice, maybe she can be your mom??? As I proceeded to do my shopping, he was stalking me!

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My 2 year old wants everything he sees. I ask if he has money to buy it. He says no. Ok, moving on. When you got money, you can buy what you want :sweat_smile:

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Spare the rod, spoil the child.

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Back in the day ,I was a newly divorced single mom of two boys ,could not go into toys are us without my youngest throwing a fit for a stick shift $500 dollar jeep,so embarrassing. I tried to explain mommy didn’t have that kind of money ,and to reason with him,no luck!!! So finally I threw a fit too,I wanted a new car too,some new clothes, a pretty pair of diamond earrings too. I put on a show ,he stopped stone cold,never had that problem again.:ring:

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i got two words. ass, whoopin.

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She is a four year old and you should not pay attention to her! Next time she attacks you like that you need to full on spanked her on her bottom, she will be surprised and shock that you acted like this in public but she will not cause ruckus ever again because you will not be embarrassed to give in to her! My child did this when she was four also and she just went down on the floor throwing a full on tantrum attack and I picked her up and she started hitting me I looked at her in her eyes and I spanked her in front of people and I told her she is to never in her life ever put her hands on me again! And I grabbed her arm and told her to walk! I was shocked that I even spanked her but I was proud that I didn’t think about people looking at me! Thinking that she would do that any other time would be just unbearable!

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Hitting children is not the answer. It only teaches them to do the same. There are plenty of other ways around this behaviour. Also agreeing with what holly has said.

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Do time-out. Watch youtube videos on how to properly do it.

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When my daughter did that i walked away just around the corner where i could see her but she couldn’t see me. When she didn’t have an audience(me) she quickly ended her tantrum and started looking for me. Of course I was close at hand. I don’t think she ever threw a tantrum in a store again.

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You are nor alone :heart: my daughter is 4 and we are going through the same. She is an amazing child. I can confidently say she is not a naughty child, she is so loving and caring. But lately the tantrums are so real and embarrassing. I have sat her down and these are a results of her dad not being here at the moment, she speaks to him daily but it has been a very long time since he was home. We feel like the only one it’s happening too but your definitely not alone. My daughter is not bothered by a smack, I can place her in her room, remove the iPad and other treats and she is not bothered, I am at a loss and also have no idea what to do.

A good old fashioned swat on her behind will show her that behavior is not going to be tolerated at all.
I had 3 boys that are now 23, 21, and 16.
for the most part they were great. they behaved and were very respectful to others even at the young ages of 2, 3, 4, etc.
but there were only a handful of times where their behavior was beyond giving them a timeout or warning.
examples were hitting each other or me, throwing items that could hurt someone, or not listening when it came to a dangerous situation like running toward cars or the road.
I never beat them. I did smack their hand or gave them one swat on their butt. now these situations mostly happened when they were still in diapers so the swat on their butts didn’t hurt at all but the sound of the diaper getting the swat got their attention.
I would swat them and make them sit down for a minute and I would sit with them and I would talk to them. I would tell them why they got the swat and ask them to tell me why they thought I did it. even at 2 they would explain it the best way they could for their age. and they never repeated the action they got the swat for.
it only took the one time.
and I would take them all to stores with me alone and before we got out of the car I would tell them, ok we are getting this stuff at this store, we are not getting any toys or candy and we are not running around right? and they would agree
we all went in the store they would help pick out their snacks and if they could reach them on the shelves I’d let them get them and hand them to me to put in the cart until they were big enough to be able to put the stuff in the carts.
I would also tell them ok in this store you can pick out one toy, book, etc…but only if you behave until I’m done with my stuff first.
I very rarely had any issues with them and was always complimented about how well my boys acted.
they even held doors and helped others if they dropped something or still to this day say bless you to anyone they hear sneeze.
I used age appropriate language when they were little but I made sure they understood the reason things happened.
this whole you can’t discipline you kids, you just have to reason with them is not the way to go. we have seen a whole generation of those who essentially babied the whole time they grew up and the vast majority of them are not fully functional adults, they are the ones who feel entitled to everything and that rules shouldn’t apply to them.

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When your child tells you they hate you, you know you’re parenting right!! :rofl:
I have a 5 & 6 yr olds :wink:

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Normally I’d say nothing to worry about. But a few things have me wondering if this is worth a trip to a doctor. Her age, it’s not out of the realm of possibility, but it seems a bit old to me just start having full on tantrums. From my understanding they are usually do to trouble communicating. unless there is an underlying cause. It’s a new behavior. And it lasted all the way home.
I am wondering if there’s been any changes in her life?
As for how you handled it… we have all been there and you just try your best. Stay calm. Talk them through the emotions. I usually tell my son, what hes feeling will be over soon and we can talk about it. I take deep breaths with him. Sometimes he will let me hold him. Sometimes I give him space.
She definitely needs a way to express her frustration that is appropriate. Her feelings are fine. But tantrums won’t work and won’t help.

My son threw a tantrum at the shop once i whooped his ass, he never did it again he’s 7 now and I always get told he has great manners

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Give her ass a could smack ?

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Spank. That. Butt. :slight_smile:

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no advice but I wanted to say that I hope you’re ok :heart:
its so hard when they do things like this. Just know you’re not alone and I’m sure you’re doing a great job

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My 4 year old son is the same and we’ve noticed it’s always when there’s a change (E.g telling him he’s going to be a big brother, me being off work all of a sudden). Shouting and the ‘naughty’ step doesn’t work. I’ve now started rewarding his good behaviour, we found a small jar and bought some little Pom poms and every time he does something good (could be something so minor like switching the telly off when told) he gets a Pom Pom in his jar and when the jar is full we go and get a treat! I’ve also found giving him more responsibilities helpful e.g having his own kids trolley when shopping, helping mummy put the dirty washing in the washing machine. Don’t get me wrong there are times I lose it with him, it’s hard when they lash out!!
My son still hits, kicks, pokes and pinches me but I also think it’s a lack of communication thing as well as his speech isn’t perfect! Have you heard of portage? We’ve just been referred to them to help with his emotional and social behaviours- hoping it helps🤞
I hope you’re okay, it won’t last forever even though it may seem it! You’ve got this❤️

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Disgusting how many people still want to hit their kids :face_vomiting: christ.

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Start having a tantrum your self. It socks they socks off a little one. Time out not work as by the time you get back home the child has forgotten why time out is needed

I know you really want that toy and you feel really mad that you can not have it. And that I said you can not have it.
Calm voice even if your child is screaming and crying. You will be very surprised at the response you will get from her if she knows that you understand how she is feeling. You have to be with their feelings or else you will get no where with them.

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Step away from it. Why are you humiliated and embaressed? It wasn’t you who had a tantrum. Stop projecting your social feelings onto her. I would have put her into the car by herself and stood outside of the car and allowed her space to calm down. Then explain to her that her behaviour is absolutely not acceptable. You understand she’s frustrated but violence is not acceptable. Ironic when most of the people on here and telling you to smack her when your frustrated with her but it’s totally disgusting for her to hit you when she’s frustrated :joy: laughable.
Children can’t be negotiated with when they are in that mood. You are the adult you did the right thing removing her from the situation. Don’t react. You are upset understandably so, use that. You’ve really upset mummy by hurting her and behaving like that. Why do you feel so cross? Remove things she likes. Any screen time whatever it is. If you behave like that again then there will be consequences.

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Next time your frustrated and angry and stropping around the house your husband should give you a good smack. Nope… Because its illegal. Don’t raise kids who want to smack emotions away. Stop smacking kids for having emotions. They haven’t navigated successful calming down methods yet. That’s our job.

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You got this Mama. People in the store will stare and only pay attention for a while you don’t take them home with you. Life with a young child can be hard as it is without people having to stare. :two_hearts: Don’t beat yourself out you doing a great job one day at the time will get you there.

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No hitting ppl! Just tell the little monster they can stay in store till they calm down and you will maybe come back to bring them home. That will make them quiet immediately! If that dont work tell them its the last time they will go to the store! It works and noone is humiliated.

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I’m signed up to a parents parenting advice from my children’s school and I get sent emails every week. How I can deal with hard situations as I hit this point. I didn’t know what to do and since getting the help off tips etc my kids are slowly changing and getting better. For this week is about emotional support. I’m not sure if this will help. But it helped me. Whoever is this post. Feel free to inbox me and I can send some emails to yourself so you can also benefit off it. not every parent gets this help which is abit crap but I’m happy to share any advice I’m given too.

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Mine started that around 3. I stopped taking her. Found a way. Almost a year. She was always a fit thrower at home though. The only thing you can do in the moment is try talking. It’s ok to be mad, but it’s not ok to______. I understand that you wanted the book, but this is what we can do next time,_______. You are not going to be able to go to the store if this is how you act. These were some of my talks. I also use in my class if 1-3 year olds. Sorry you went through that. Hope it was an isolated incident. Y’all got this!

My 3 year old son acts this way sometimes and my approach was usually to hell and to be agressive and now I find that being calm and asking what’s wrong and reassuring him that everything will be ok he will be 4 in November just talk to her! And tell her everything will be ok. Reassure her. Their are many other ways to calm her down.

Toddlers are just frustrated little people, sometimes they cant communicate whats really wrong. It so hard to stay calm when theyre doing this i know (mom of 3 here, soon to be 4) my eldest is 9 and has ODD. Sometimes talking with them can calm them down if you stay calm and sometimes its just not going to work. Its a juggling act for sure. But ive found distraction is key! My current 2 year old can be sweet as pie or a scratching kicking nightmare, when the latter comes i simply distract her with something else, something i know she likes, she adores Elmo rn and so Ill sing the elmo song or play it on my phone for her to listen to. Even just being too tired can cause these emotional outbursts in toddlers…being a mama requires so much patience. She scratched me last night on my belly and it hurt so bad but instead of yell i said “no scratching” she proceeded to scream at me in her 2 yr old vocab so i said, bedtime? She stopped instantly. Find what works best and use it mama, god speed.

A good f spanking does not hurt a kid,you don’t have to beat them,but on the other side you don’t have to reward them every time they smile at you either.!!!

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Pinching works to remind a child that mommy is in charge. A well placed pinch on the ear or the underside of their arm near the armpit works best.

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For those who say hit your child when they act up…how about when your having an attitude…bad day…off day…or feeling shitty cause you can’t express your self I’ll smack you around until you change your tone ? Smh :roll_eyes:

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Oh man us too, he is gonna start kindergarten soon and I’m so scared. He got kicked out of 8 daycares due to behavior. Hes in therapy now but he still acts that way. I just get away from him when hes hurting me. Send him to his room.

First of all DONT be embarassed! Ive carried my son out of the store like a football a couple of times because he was having a total melt down. Focus on your daughter, not others (they will forget all about you in less than 5 minutes and move on with their day). Tantrums and fits will happen with toddlers because they cant control their emotions. Please dont beat yourself up.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to handle toddler tantrums? - Mamas Uncut

I had this happen all bc I told her she couldn’t touch anything when we were checking out. But it seemed out of the blue she threw a fit kicking and screaming and I was trying to push my cart and hold her sideways while she was kicking me and screaming. Then this woman walked up to me and said “do you want me help you to your car? We have all been there.” From that moment on I felt ok bc I just have to get thru it and I avoided if possible taking her shopping with me except the grocery store. You will get thru this until the next phase…

She needs her butt whipped, not abused or beat, but disciplined. Parents need to stop feeling guilty for having to discipline their children. My children are from 6-21 yrs old, I can count on one hand how many times they caught a spanking, that’s one hand for all of them together, once they know that a spanking is a consequence, then they will be quicker to obey. It’s not wrong to discipline by a spanking, as long as it’s not abuse, it truly does hurt us more than them, because no good parent WANTS to have to resort to that. If these tantrums aren’t dealt with seriously & quickly, they will last a long time. She’s old enough to understand.

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Do not EVER give in after you have given them an answer…. You said no…it’s a definite no.

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I would make sure my daughter was safe and let her have at it until she was done.

A one time good old fashioned whooping, should solve this. Sounds like you and hubby have given your authority over to her.

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My son did this when he turned 3. I took away every single toy and hid them for a full week. He had nothing but books. No TV no nothing… he never ever did that again… whatver u decide DO NOT give in. That’s the worst thing u can do. I said I would do it if he wasn’t behaving and I did.

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Mama she is testing the waters, I know it’s hard but don’t cry, remember she’s 4 and completely dependent on you for survival. She wants to see what she can get away with. Once you got home do a time out for 4 min, and then she’s grounded and or looses privileges. Once the screaming has stopped sit her down and talk to her about how we’re not gonna do that anymore and do not be afraid to use a stern voice. After give hugs and drop it completely. As for being embarrassed girl let it go ,… there’s gonna be many times moving forward that you’re gonna be embarrassed, ignore people, they don’t have your child, and If they judge literally throw something at them because that’s bullshit and all kids do this. And to ease your embarrassment
One time I had to take my son into the fitting room with me when he was younger and he decided halfway through while I was changing my top that he was going to crawl out underneath the door and take off like lightning McQueen, I instinctively ran after him because one he wasn’t wearing pants because we were also trying pants on him and two didn’t realize and I never put my shirt back on and I was most definitely in my bra so it gets better you’ll learn to laugh about it I promise

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Spanking doesn’t work on all children. Kids are like migraines. There’s no one reason or cause for their behavior and there’s no one way to get them to stop. You have to try different things to see what works for you. Spanking, taking things away, talking to her, handing out punishments etc didn’t work for my child… ever. I grew up getting my ass torn out the frame if I misbehaved ANYWHERE… but that didn’t work for my child. Whatever you decide, it’s YOUR way. And please be consistent between you and your husband. Don’t be embarrassed…ppl who have children understand, and those who don’t, eventually will. :heart:

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When any of my sons tried to throw a tantrum i usually ignore them. Or the y get taken out of the store. But at home they go to their room and sit until they decide they can be reasonable.

What ever you do, ensure your daughter understand that is the only 1 time she can behave like that…i think most parents would have gotten the 'I hate you, wish you we werent my mom ’ dnt rest on that… Be the parent… she will apprecite you in the long run…
Stay strong, keep firm… make the consequences of your actions count…

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If it’s not her norm and the first time she behaved this way maybe she was tired and emotional? Maybe something else is bothering her?

You did the right thing by making her go right to the car with that behavior and not giving in.

If it’s a new, progressive behavior. She’s learned somewhere that she can get her way if she behaves a certain way.

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Don’t be humiliated . Every child will test thier parent, stay calm, in control . Not all children respond to ass whooping, she will need to stay home if she chooses to have a hissy, then go with out her

my 3 year old doesnt have tantrums very often but when she does i ly down on the floor with her and kick my legs just like her a scream. She was so in shock she got straight up and stopped😅 hasn’t happened since

I would not drag my son , but “usher“ him to a bench outside the store or mall. I would then tell him this…”let me know when you’re done”. Usually 5-10 minutes tantrum would be over

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Get on her level and talk to her. Young kids have a hard time expressing themselves and will lash out in negative ways. My daughter is 2.5 years old and has done this and I ask her if shes had a bad day or not at daycare and sometimes her answer is “yes”. Things in the store could of also overwhelmed her, the amount of people for example. Reinforce to her that it’s okay to have a bad day, but it’s not okay to lash out at you the way she did, which in turn caused her to get punished example such as her favorite toy being taken. Reinforce positive behavior.

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My son acted like this when he was 3, I bought a bean bag, and whenever he had an episode I would put him on the bean bag and make him stay there, everytime he got up.i would put him back on it, after a few weeks his tantrums stopped, just keep focus momma it will all turn out ok, he’s 12 now and a very well behaved preteen! :heart:

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You was doing the right thing by taking her out of the store.

Im so sorry to hear that. Maybe trying to see what May have triggered her acting up. Something that was done different in her routine. Sometimes the slightest change in their schedule can trigger such behavior.

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Every child is different girl… It depends on what they respond to! You have to find what works for your child. And it may be a spanking or it may be getting down on their level and trying to talk to them or maybe it’s timeouts. Regardless it’s up to you as parents to find out what works for your child as an individual! Children respond to punishments differently. Good luck on figuring it out though! I have raised 4 ( 3rd one just graduated so I have only one more at home :sob::slightly_smiling_face:) and the punishment was different for all of them. You will figure it out

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My grandkids did this with me. Yep they got a spanking right there in the store. Spare the rod spoil the child. They haven’t done it again. Nip in the butt at the time as its happening.

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Its the unpopular opinion, but WOOP HER ASS. My boys both have had their butts spanked, but I also use timeout and quiet time. But they have only pulled a stunt like that once and that was enough.

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Maybe she is tired? Had a long day? Had a bad day? Kids have emotions too and sometimes don’t know how to express them and can over react to small things like that. When I sit down to see what’s really wrong and try to talk to them, they will tell me that they are tired or whatever they are really upset about. It helps a lot and they calm down after getting it off their chest. It helps with me anyway. They have grown and not acted like that very much because we have an open dialog about our emotions.

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I had one of mine do this so I waited next time I reversed it an i threw the tantrum then questioned now didn’t mommy look silly? Did it work and I got what I wanted? Did you notice other people doing it or were they staring? How could this been avoided and explain how we think we could have gotten a/the reward. :woman_shrugging:

Be more conscious of how you’re speaking with her before you even arrive at the store. Be clear of your goals. Tell her what you’re shopping for today and could she help you choose what to pick out please ( we need apples next, should we choose the red or the green?)
By giving her jobs, and choices to make that seem important, you’re keeping her engaged and making her feel important.
At the end of shopping you can tell her she did a great job helping and if she would like to pick something for herself from the items YOU choose as appropriate, then she may.
It may take time. She may continue with the tantrums until she’s learned how to behave appropriately to get what she wants.
If she does throw another tantrum, do not engage the behavior. Take her out to the car and let her cry it out there. Stand outside the car and don’t engage the behavior. When she’s finally calm again, ask her if she’s ready to finish shopping. If she says no, and seems agitated, give her another few minutes. Tell her that’s fine, you can both wait here until she is ready to act appropriately in the store. And then don’t engage. See the pattern?
At home maybe during dessert, start conversations about how we act when we’re out with mommy. Be cheerful, fun, but clear. Use shorter sentences, easy to understand language. Make eye contact. Be loving.
Then when you go out next, drop cheerful reminders before exiting the vehicle.
Good luck.

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It’s not the 80’s anymore, do what you see fit now days

Could be autism meltdown

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