My homeschooled child has severe anxiety…what are some ways I can help him through this? Besides therapy…we cannot afford it right now.
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Calling the mental health hotline at 988 is free, available 24/7 in the U.S. and you can call as often as you like. Maybe get on some waiting lists for therapy as there may be long (many months or a year or more) waits for appointments. You can always reschedule 72 hours in advance if you’re not able to follow through when the appointment is coming up.
But check mental health benefits on your health insurance. If you make too much for Medicaid (which includes mental health), look into the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) plans that have rates based on income—you may pay very little. Also if you have a primary care physician see if there’s anything they can prescribe him.
Look up meditation and calming techniques online. See if there’s a “Mommy & Me” yoga class in person or online. I like this form of moving meditation. It’s easy enough for children to follow. Helped my health in so many ways in addition to helping me calm down and deal with stress.
Check out library books on anxiety in children and in general and the ways to counteract it. Implement what you learn. Ask the librarian for book suggestions for your little guy that address fears. Sesame Street’s The Monster at the End of this Book is one. If he’s scared as you read it, read the ending first. Is he old enough to enjoy the Inside Out movies?
Spend time in sunshine and nature and by water. Invite calming people to spend time with him. Maybe invite another homeschool mom and child to share lessons with you. Maybe he’d enjoy swim classes as water is calming. Take baby steps to move him out of his comfort zone. If he likes carrots, try different colored carrots or parsnips. If he’s OK at your usual grocery store, try a different grocery store or the same store in a different location and get mostly the same things you usually buy.
See if you can determine what scares him. Keep a log of when he is most anxious. Was he like this always or has anything in his life changed that triggered this? Are you an anxious person or is he acutely aware of your worries about him? Are you a perfectionist?
Massage therapy, either gentle kids massage or reiki might help.
Give him lots of chances to make limited choices so he feels he has control over some things. The jeans, khakis or red pants? Chicken or beef for dinner? Homework now or in an hour? Ask him what things he would change if he could.
Also let him do activities and achieve mastery over them. Don’t criticize him, only ask questions. Hmm, how can we take out the eggshell pieces from the bowl? Would counting stitches help avoid holes in the knitting? Follow directions for something together. Admit when you make mistakes. Let him know, as Mandela said: “I never fail. I either succeed or I learn something.”