It sounds as if she needs to go to rehab. She needs help to stop drinking. Alcoholism is a progressive disease that often gets worse without intervention.
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She has to WANT help before she will get help.
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Talking from experience no one can help until she wants to stop.
I thought I was bad at drinking but no
now I’m sober 17 months and not missing alcohol.
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Call the cops the next time she drinks and drives. Selfish b***h
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you cant help the people who doesn’t want the help
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Refuse to ride with her or allow any younger person. Suggest other adults drive for her.
Interventions sometimes help. Tell her your feelings but only she can help herself
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Maybe time for an intervention. Sit down and try talking with her.
Been reading the comments and they are so right. She has to admit she is an alcoholic and want help. My dad was an alcoholic and I have been going to AA ever since I was in diapers. That is until he passed away. He was sober for 35 years. One thing all those meetings did is make me aware of what alcohol could do and how much it hurts families and I have never drank in my life. Don’t care to…don’t want to. When friends order beer or mixed drinks l order coke or Dr. Pepper.
And friends have stopped drinking because of me. They finally figured out they could have as much fun as l was and not spend all that money on drinks.
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You didn’t say anything about negative behavior between you two so I’m going to assume it hasn’t gone there. Outside of the drinking, is he ok?
They can only be helped if they want the help
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You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to change. Unfortunately for you, this means you have to remove yourself from the equation if you don’t want to deal with being around the drinking anymore.
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Addicts will only get better if THEY want to. My advice to you right now (if youve clearly expressed your concerns and there’s no change being made) is setting boundaries for yourself. Whatever that looks like for you. Set boundaries and do not enable.
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I would recommend you move out for a few days… Weeks… 
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Set boundaries and stick to them. Don’t enable him. Don’t drive him places or pick him up. Don’t buy him beer. Don’t ensure it because you’re not trying to make a scene. His drinking makes you uncomfortable and he doesn’t stop so you shouldn’t either.
You can offer to be an ally and be there fr him with therapy, AA meetings, etc, but if he doesn’t want help he won’t get it.
I know this because my spouse is an alcoholic. I stopped working when we had our first son and now I’m working again to gain financial freedom to setup our own life because he literally does not think he has a problem. I told him this last time (5 years of this being said) he needs to stop drinking and smoking so he can be here for our kids. But I added “I’m not saying this anymore and I will move on without you to provide them a mess free life.”
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You can’t help them if they don’t want the help and are unwilling to get/recieve help
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At this point he will need to detox because his body is becoming dependant and if he stops it may kill him. It’s a hard pill to swallow. Especially for the person afflicted. Not only that but it’s physically painful to stop drinking after you reach that point. Painful and terrifying. To be honest he’s probably scared to death right now. Does he experience Delerium Tremens? Uncontrollable shaking etc. When he doesn’t drink something? If you can somehow get him to a hospital that’s a start because they’ll discuss it with him. He’ll need that in order to detox they’ll give him enough Ativan to knock out a moose and he’ll sleep through the withdrawal which is much more comfortable than trying to handle it yourself. Take it from someone who loved an alcoholic/heroin addict.
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You can’t help him girl. The first step to addiction is realizing you have a problem and wanting to fix it. He isn’t gonna get help till HE is ready to. There is such a thing as a functioning alcoholic. Which kinda sounds like he is, if he’s still working and such.
You can’t help him unless he wants to help himself.
Join al anon for yourself…they will help you
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Ya I deal with it every night life goes on
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There is absolutely nothing you can do…he has to do it. That’s the worst part about loving someone in active addiction…is watching it and coming to that realization. There is nothing you could have done differently and there’s nothing you can do but love him and pray for him. Even if that means it’s from a distance. I’m sorry if that’s hard to hear, but I hope you take it to heart. Establish boundaries now, and don’t enable him
I’m afraid you’ve got as tough battle ahead of you. Ppl don’t quit till they want to quit. Most times it takes rock bottom to get there
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Alcoholics need to hit rock bottom before they decide that it’s time to change. His body is so used to alcohol that he may start having seizures if he slows down which can be fatal. Alcoholics need to want help. Nothing you can do for him until he is ready. He needs to be in house Rehab facility where someone can help him in case he has seizures. Good luck
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There’s nothing you can do to help him. If he hasn’t come to the realization himself that he has a problem and doesn’t want to quit and doesn’t want help, no one can help him. But you can go to alanon meetings for support
He has to do it himself you can’t fix him
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Deside what is acceptable to you. And then do what you need to achieve that. Personally that’s not acceptable and I would leave or kick him out.
I left. 20 years later, and he is still drinking.
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Well, you can choose to keep living that life or it is time to move on. He WILL NOT change til HE chooses to. Tell him rehab or you are leaving if you like, but it is unlikely to change anything.
Let him know that he’s not going to affect your life negatively anymore and needs to go and treatment ! Let him know you refuse to do anything for him in any way shape or form until he goes gets the help he needs!
Goodluck and he’ll thank you later 
You can’t help him until he wants help. However, you can go to Al-Anon, which is for families of alcoholics.
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You should go to an al anon meeting. Nothing you can do for him until he hits rock bottom. So you need to go to meeting to build yourself up.
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Call & tell his doctor, join Al-Anon, see if you can get him into therapy—happy people don’t generally become addicts. Not sure if you can stage an intervention and get him into rehab; maybe talk to intervention specialists (AA or Al -Anon might be able to refer you) & his other loved ones. I’m so sorry.
I can only tell you this you can only tolerate for so long. if he doesn’t want to stop for him self he will not stop for you.
My husband of 14 years passed away from this very thing in 2019 I put up with and tolerated until a year before his passing. You do what you think is necessary to keep you well because from misery comes more misery. And his sickness turns into you being sick.
Don’t keep the alcohol from him if your going to stay it is very dangerous to do that he can die from it being hidden from him or withheld from him if he’s reliant on it every hour. Withdrawals will hurt him. My husband when we were together had a seizure and almost died because he tried to stop on his own. he needs help ! good luck !
U just need to leave at this point or at least have this conversation with him .
I use to be an alcoholic and when it’s this bad I didnt care I tried but was saying what others wanted to hear. Dont waste your life helping someone who isnt willing to help them self
You cannot help an alcoholic until they are ready to seek the help they need.
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Get yourself into Alanon… and meditate on what your options are. He will not seek help until he hits rock bottom. You won’t be able to help him…he has to want to help himself. Alcoholism is very similar to a drug addiction. I’m an adult child of a grand mother alcoholic, a father alcoholic… and I refused to let it be in my life. Please get help for you!
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He has to hit rock bottom before he will stop I was in your same spot and nothing I said or did made him stop the only reason he stopped was because he hit rock bottom and ended up in end stage liver failure my thoughts and prayers are with u and hopefully he will hit rock bottom before something bad happens to him
If he doesn’t want help he’s not gonna accept help.
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I think you would be better off getting out of that situation. You’ve already said that he refuses help. Since he’s an adult, moving on is all you can do. Maybe that’ll help make him wake up, and realize that he needs to start doing better.
People are so quick to jump on “solving the problem” but have you looked into WHY this has started? Is he depressed? People don’t just become alcoholics for fun… he might need help, beyond just the drinking
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He needs to go to rehab. Alcohol withdrawal is no joke. Give him the ultimatum he either needs to go to rehab or to leave and go be an unconscious useless drunk somewhere else. There’s some reason he’s doing it. A void he’s filling. Pain he’s covering. Unhappiness he’s trying to not feel. Enabling him to continue on this path is the worst thing you can do however. You have to leave him…no matter what that looks like you have to be away from him. You can’t just stay together and pretend this isn’t happening and hope it goes away.
Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do if he doesn’t want to change
You can’t do anything for him untill he decides it’s time to change. What you can do is have an honest Convo with yourself and decide what your limits and boundaries are and he can meet those or he has to leave.
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He has to want to quit nothing will make him. Suggest things to do outside help him taper off because guaranteed he’s only drinking again to avoid the hangover. May need clonazapam or Ativan and sleeping pills to help him with the withdrawals but about 8-10 days he should b bk to normal again.
You can’t help an addict until they are ready for help.
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Do you truly love him enough to live this life with him ?? If not then save yourself alot of misery and leave him if he refuses to seek help!
there is no easy fix it!
I feel for you. I’m just gonna say it. Your love can not make him change. He is an alcoholic. Until he wants to quit drinking, there’s no point in losing yourself trying to fix him. If you can not deal with him then maybe leave for a bit. Let him know you’re there when he’s ready (if you want to be.) but that you can not deal with it. But just know nobody wakes up wanting to be an addict. There are reasons they want to numb the pain. Maybe find out what his reasons are and go from there- If you are going to stay with him. This is a hard thing to go through for both parties. I’m sorry girl.
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He has to hit rock bottom to stop and that’s either a dui and prison time or almost dying or losing everything from home to job. A alcoholic won’t get help unless they truly want it. My dad was a horrible blackout violent drunk and it took nearly dying to stop but it still killed him cause his body couldn’t handle not drinking anymore and it shut down completely.
Time to say goodbye…
Put him out. You can’t do the work for him. He has to do it himself. He has to want to quit. Your life will be hell until he does stop drinking. Don’t waste anymore time.
It has to start with him.
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There is nothing you can do, he has to want to change. You have to think about yourself. I think you should leave cause things won’t just get better.
You can’t help a addict unless they’re ready for help. You will go down the drain with them. So sorry your going through this.
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May I reccomend the book codependent no more.
Many people are going to give you thier input what you should and shouldnt do.
But reading this book going through this, it might give you the insight you need to make up your own mind what is right for you to do.
Everyones experience is different, everyone’s challenges and dynamics are different, everyones opinions and ideal outcome is different, everyone copes and manages things different.
Finding your best solution is up to you. You might not be able to be able to help him because we can only do so much and hes a grown man making his choices. But you can certainly help you and that’s just as if not more important.
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Sadly,there is nothing you can do.
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You can’t help him unless he wants to be helped I grew up with an alcoholic father he had to hit rock bottom before he realized he needed help
Councilling for those internal issues
Go to Al-Anon this is the best thing I ever did!! Like so many has said, he has to want the help himself!
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Somebody needs re-hab. Or counseling or therapy or LIFE INSURANCE. He’s killing himself. Are you covered financially when he dies from alcohol poisoning? Talk to his doctor. Ask him what’s more important… you or the booze.
Go to Al-Anon. It’s for families and friends of alcoholics. There are virtual meetings somewhere in the world every few hours every day. Your community probably also has plenty of in-person meetings.
I also urge you to see a chemical dependency counselor. They can help you with this, even if he chooses not to go with you.
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What he need is rehab or better still counselling.
Nothing you can do. They have to want to change.
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I went through this myself. My ex would find any excuse to drink. Bad day…drink. Celebration…drink. Bored…drink. It’s Wednesday…drink. We spoke about it, he promised to seek help, cut down and all that…But he just hid his drinking from me. And when he did drink he blamed me for having issues with his drinking.
You can’t make him stop. He has to deal with why he’s drinking and he has to do that himself.
I ended up leaving my relationship after 4 years because of this.
Time for an intervention. Go to treatment, or counseling and classes or you leave. You can’t continue watching him kill himself.
What about the money he’s spending daily?!?!! Be very careful what you say to him drunks like him can become abusive! I think you should walk away and start fresh. You need a spouse in all sense of the word NOT a drunk roommate.
Definitely recommend Al-Anon. Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do. Hiding the alcohol or nagging will only make things worse. Find others that can share their experience, strength, and hope to help you get through this.
My dad had always had an issue with alcohol he had an 8 year sober gap and then 10 years ago split from his ex wife and has been drinking pretty much ever since. Started with cans of beer went onto neat vodka he has been to rehab twice and also alcoholic support groups he has been in and out of hospital due to stomach ulcers and he also has Barrett’s disease in the throat which can lead to being cancerous also he has alcoholic psychosis which he takes anti-psychotic medication for and this is ALL due to the alcohol. he’s literally just come out of hospital 2 days ago he was in there for just over 2 weeks. When he first went in he physically could not walk (my partner had to physically carry him onto the wheelchair then into the car to get him to the hospital) he wasn’t eating just drinking bottles of vodka his skin was bright yellow ( kind of like a Simpsons character) he has been told he has liver failure and if he picks up another bottle it will be a matter of days maybe weeks if he’s lucky and he will not survive this time. It’s a nightmare to watch knowing he’s had the help there so many times and so many times he’s relapsed like it’s been pointless. Unfortunately some people just can’t be saved/ helped. My dad is 48 this year and it’s heartbreaking.
You need to get out of there before he physically and Mentally Abuses you. You don’t need a Man in your life who is going to drink 24/7.
I left…can’t help someone who doesn’t want help…
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If he is refusing to get help, nothing you do will matter. He will find a way to drink regardless. He could try rehab, but if he doesn’t want to go it’ll be a fight and it will never work out.
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You can’t do anything. His friends can’t do anything. Only HE can want to do something about his problem. If he has no desire to get sober, then you must decide if you want this to be your life. I was married to an alcoholic for 7 years. He made a couple of half hearted attempts to stop drinking, but only because I threatened divorce. Those attempts failed, and I finally divorced him. I am now 25 years married to a kind, sweet man. Choose to save yourself, because you can’t save him.
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its not just about him…what do you really want to do? …once addictions take hold it is that substance they love more than life itself. l would be moving him out if you can support yourself? OR get a lodger,get rent on a spare room…it pays the bills.Get a working person. Your partner knows you dont like his drinking like he is…move on
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Counceling is recommended. He needs to come to his own conclusion about getting help. The counceling is important for you to make sure you don’t lose sight of keeping you healthy and happy. It is so easy to do when you are so invested in caring for someone who refuses or simply is unable to care for themselves.
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Honestly tough love is what he needs
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Theres no way you can help him. He can only accept help when he admits hes an alcoholic.
Personally I left.
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You document everything so your kids aren’t left alone with him and you file for divorce. He’s an addict that doesn’t want to do better. You can’t make him do anything he has to realize he has a problem and do the hard work. I am so sorry that this is happening to your family. Legally you need to start separating yourself financially bc everything you have is at risk right now.
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i have been i walked away as he would not stop drinking.
He won’t stop until he’s ready so you need to decide if you want to deal with this until he decides. I’m going through this with my husband and it f**king sucks 
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Mine would drive home drunk from work, his work used to give him free alcoholic drinks after he was done working for them at night. It came to a point where it was either he did something about it and got help or he’d lose me and never see his kids again. He’s been alcohol free now for about 5 years.
Your husband has to want to change.
Hello former alcoholic here, unfortunately it’s sad to say nothing will help till he realizes what he’s doing and wants to make a change.
I’ll be 2 yrs sober this June. During my drinking days I was hurting my children and my mother, they would cry and beg me to stop but I didn’t care I was lost. But the pandemic helped me when the lockdown happened I was upset, I could a drank at home but I didn’t like to drink while having my kids around, but because I didn’t “want to be bothered” by them… so I didn’t, thankfully I didn’t struggle to leave it I guess I was just to scared of what was going on in the world… as time went by I started doing Bible study and getting to know our creator Jehovah and growing my faith, I have finally found a purpose in life, I now love our creator Jehovah, my kids, my family and myself . I’m sorry to hear this, but until he’s ready, it’s not going to happen.
Sending you a virtual hug and hope he’ll realize what he’s doing and will make a change for the best…
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As a alcoholic, there is nothing you can do he has to want to get sober. It’s very hard to do I’ve been sober almost 4 years and I want to drink almost every day
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YOU can’t do anything but be supportive and at a safe distance. HE has to save himself.
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Al-alon. If he won’t help himself, help yourself.
I’m sure is been said, but I’m going to say it anyway. YOU can’t help him. HE has to want to help himself. However, you can help yourself. Find a group like Al-alon, ect…
Unfortunately you can’t help someone that doesn’t want to help themselves. If can no longer stand by him I suggest leaving. Sometimes a person needs to hit rock bottom before they look for help. Leaving would be a harsh thing to do I know. But this way he can see how much his drinking is affecting not only him but the people around him.
Can the person who made this post private message me please
Unfortunately you cannot help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. My SO was an alcoholic, probably even worse than this. I took my daughter and left. About a month or 2 later he was in an accident (DUI related) it wasn’t until then that he decided to quit drinking. Almost 3 years completely sober now and I couldn’t be more proud of the man he is.
Drinking that much a day, he is killing his liver and himself. He is disrespectful towards you and towards your kids. He is causing mental, emotional, financial abuse towards you and the kids. I know what being married to an alcoholic. I went thru it for many yrs. I went to meetings to cope with him. But he’d go, and then would stop going. My ex-Husband would get so sloppy drunk he would pass and shit himself. Threw up balls of blood from the ulcers in his stomach. And when he would show signs of violence that’s when me and my 3 kids left him. You simply cannot let someone who won’t get help and continues to do this in regards to your pleas to stop… that’s not a life for you and your kids.
You can’t help him if he doesn’t want to admit he has a problem or doesn’t want help. Drinking like that, it won’t be long before you’re his full time caregiver or he drops dead from alcoholism. He’s not going to stop as long as he has enabler’s like you who put up with it. It’s time for a ultimatum 
You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help himself. It’s either you or the alcohol, and if he can’t sober up or get help for you, then leave.