i haven’t had this happen to me but we had to take my cousins in for certain reasons and when we did have calling with their parents they always acted so bad afterwards. never followed rules never did anything we had asked them to do and just were overall picking on eachother and doing poorly in school and once my parents decided to stop letting them contact their kids they haven’t misbehaved, obviously they do sometimes but not what they were doing when they were talking to their parents. so i suggest if you can, i’d talk to your SO and see if they are willing to try and stop all contact! because imo, in the end talking to his birth mother just makes things worse in that type of situation
Counselling and age appropriate honesty- I wouldn’t be creating false hope by sending presents pretending to be from the bio mother- it might be a temporary uplift for the boy but then he may expect it again- don’t lie to him he will resent it in the future when he’s old enough to understand. Sooner the better he realises that the love he needs is right where he is- this won’t go away for him it’s now a part of him but hit it home that it’s not his fault and explain yes it sux and is unfair but some adults are not ready to be good mums and he deserves a good mum so when his mum is ready to be a good mum he can have a relationship with her then. Simple but truthful. I’d also cut her ass off those selfish video calls and make her do all the effort when she actually ‘feels’ the loss of her son.
I think the mother is doing so much damage to her son his dad needs to go back to court and u guys just love him as much u can it’s so hard hope u get a piece of mind
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His feelings are totally understandable. Be careful what you say about her in front of him and to him. And I would be careful about assuming the boyfriend is doing something illegal if you don’t know him and have no proof. That’s a slippery slope in these kind of situations. You just need to be be supportive and understanding of his feelings, he is a little kid. Kids that age are emotional anyway, they are just learning how to express real feelings and what those feelings mean. And the feeling that a parent doesn’t love you is a scary one. Your husband needs to be active and go back to counseling, he needs to ask a social worker and a counselor if going back to court to cut off communication would be a good thing or a bad thing. Sometimes it can do more harm than good. As a stepmother you just need to be understanding and supportive, which you are. I went through this with oldest 2 kids when they were little. Thier biodad had nothing to do with them. Their stepdad was and always has been very supportive and shown them how much he loves them. (They are 16 & 19 now and handle the situation on their own. )
As far helping with his behavior you should look up the fb page Whole Brain Connections with Amanda Walker. She is really good at helping you understand children’s behavior and how to help them. She is so helpful. I highly recommend it. You could really help him out. He doesn’t want to be bad he is just sad. 
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Maybe go back to counseling for him? I’m sorry she is putting him through all this. Are the phone calls required in the court orders?
Agree with counseling. We always have a place for our mothers and the pain of losing a mother either to death or by abandonment is very traumatic. I couldn’t imagine the thoughts and feelings in his brain when this is the subject. Have a ton of patience with him. The acting out and behaviorchanges are linked with this and as he learns how to cope and deal with all of this he will return to his old self. Sending a bunch of good vibes and thoughts your way 
I would have a long talk with this mother and tell her how hurt these children are. If she really loves them and really cares, she’s going to change and want to be a part of their lives.
I would go back to court and see if you can just stop contact all together… I get the boys love their mother, but she isn’t a mother. I would go back to court, get everything finalized, then go out and buy him a few presents and say they are from her and just keep convo about her minimal… eventually he will stop asking or very rarely…
On top of others advice…. You should take him on “you and him only dates”. Just show him how much you love him and that you’re not going anywhere. That you will always be there for him. And that he can talk to you about anything.
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He’s still so little. Get him in therapy, replace whatever it is he wants so bad at moms and just love him. My dad did this to me and my sister. All you can do is love him as hard as you can and try and explain it to him in an age appropriate way but don’t make her out to be a villain or anything that’s his mom and he won’t see it the way you do
My niece had this issue with her biodad. When mom would get mail she would ask if it was from dad. She would “read” her the “card” it satisfied the need to be acknowledged. Have you tried asking her to at least send a card with $5 to go buy something? There are no answers seek counseling for him.
Well for starters let’s drop the step, you married this man, and the kid lives with you., which makes you now his main role model as a mother /mom, you just keep standing by his side dealing with his life his problems his accomplishments, birth mother sounds like a POS and pretty much is playing games with this poor boy, you step up and protect your son from her stupidity cut visits short nothing extra she gets her time that the law states and that’s it be there for your son so you and hubby will raise a healthy young man
I’m glad he has stepped-up.
He feels abandoned. He’s going to need counselling…
Buy him the gifts, say they’re from her. Let him move on!
I’d cut off communication completely. If bio mom doesn’t like it she can take y’all to court.
How do you expect a 6 year old child to express his hurt and anger in a positive way when he does not at all understandable what it is he is truly feeling. My 12 year old deals with a lot of this with her birth day and she still does many fully understand her emotions all of the time. He needs weekly therapy
Stop dogging his mum for starters! THATS why he’s withdrawing.youre the problem NOT the kid
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Just explain to him that he she love him and he will start to see for himself what it is with his mother.
Stop allowing her to make endless promises been here done this have had my step sons for over 10 year the more you just pretend she dont exist better off kids will be you mom now give him the love he is needing
It’s hard on him keep doing what you have been constantly remind him that he’s loved get him a counselor and try to get a few mins alone with the counselor and let them know what is going on
I would keep him going to counseling and give him radical empathy in regards to his feelings about his Mom. Behaviors are communication, he obviously doesn’t know how to process his feelings about his Mom and so he acts out his frustration, disappointment, sadness. Give him some words to talk about his feelings and ask the counselor to help him find some ways to deal with those feelings.
just buyhim a present and say its from her
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Is he the youngest of the 2? If so, he is her parental child. The oldest gravites more to the father, the youngest to the mother.
What if instead of him thinking he got nothing from his mom you guys got to a dollar tree and buy something put in a box and say it’s from her, now I know this might be hard for u guys to do but in the long run if he finds out the truth he might see it as u guys cared about him feelings, I would suggest buying little things for him and maybe she will leave u guys alone and he wont find out, but either way I think it pycologicly being good for him
Love him
Take him for ice cream
To the movies
On holidays get him an extra gift
Encourage him to love her anyway.
He will know who to look for when he is older and that won’t be bio mom