How to increase sex drive?

Okay mama’s so I just had my second child May of this year and my sex drive has gone down a lot and tonight my husband decided to make a big fuss over it the saying I’m not attracted to him anymore also making other excuses for not wanting to have sex with him… I tried explaining to him that after having kids I don’t feel the same and my sex drive isn’t just like before. And we’ve been married for two years he said sex is a need for him but I told him it’s just a want and he said he can’t you just lie there when I finish and that’s it and I said no so I don’t understand how to explain to him that I’m just not in the mood anymore as I used to be… I feel like I’m the bad guy in this and I’m sorry for the long post. I just don’t understand how to explain to him thanks


ur hormones trying to go back to pre-pregnancy its completely normal not to get a sex drive back til around 1 yr if not longer. maybe try fore play or something along those lines to start the mood. it might take a little longer for u to get it started than normal.

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That could be depression or lack of energy try new things if you love your husband and he’s telling you he feels a certain way you should listen and try for him. Not just give up. His feelings are valid too


Take him to a Gyno appointment and allow them to explain. Because men just don’t get it sometimes.


He told you to just lay there? While he got off?? First of all, ew. Who wants to have sex with someone who just isn’t into it? that’s a little weird to me. Second, he should be understanding that your hormones are all over the place right now. If anything, you should talk to a doctor and see if there’s anything you could try, naturally or otherwise, to help.


Tell him to respect your space and body…after all it isn’t his.


You need to talk to your OBGYN. It’s normal, however your doc can help you. Sex is a need especially for men. It keeps them healthier.


Tell him to take an “extra long” shower or buy a toy if he wants to get off that bad. But he definitely needs to be more understanding that the sex drive does go down after kids. If he wants to so bad why not help put you in the mood rather than expecting you to “just lay there.”


I suggest talking to your doctor. It is not a “need” but it is very important in a relationship.


Your body is trying to get back to normal. He’s being an asshole, and tell him… His ass can wait until your body heals. Good grief… it takes like two years to feel normal again. -Mum of Four

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Listen to your hubby . He’s talking to you Nd trying to express what he feels . I understand your just not in the mood so maybe you can speak to your doctor or something …


Tell him to take matters into his own hands if he wants the release so bad. Sex is not a need. Especially after you just had a baby. He needs to be more understanding of how you feel.


I agree take him to Ob w/you
He’s being childish & unreasonable… They might know what to tell him tho.
I didn’t know this was the case after pregnancy tbh…:hushed: I’ll be a ftm in Dec. :grimacing:
Wishing you all the best :honey_pot:

Watch porn together if you’re comfortable with it.


Theres other options then just sex though. You could always give him a “hand” or a mouth :joy:


LMFAO I don’t mean to be rude but it’s a “man thing” they always have a complex if we’re not in the mood 🤷‍♀


Wow 2 kids in 2 years you are extremely blessed. Sex is important to men and yes the drive does go down after kids. Listen to him and either get help or just go with it


I had this problem for 3 years after my daughter was born. Hell… maybe even 4, or at least almost 4. My husband seemed slightly more understanding than yours, but only just. He still thinks it’s because he’s ugly, has gained weight, etc sometimes, but at least now he understands that I don’t always feel up to it…

Here’s what I did and I know it sounds simple but it worked for me. I started to think of us being intimate while I was alone in the shower at first. That didn’t work really, so I started to ask him just to cuddle in bed and talk. That worked… it just did. IDK how lol I used to literally tense up and get upset if he let on that he was horny and wanted some fun time because I knew he’d get upset when I said no… now, I just say that I could try it out and it doesn’t always work, but that’s life.

Again, that’s only what worked for me and you don’t have to feel obligated to anyone about sex, not even your husband.

First of all it is so weird that he wants you to just lay there but he’s probably feeling desperate. I would not be able to stay in a marriage where sex was not happening. I think you should seek help from your doctor to see what might be going on with you


It takes me awhile to feel sexy, I get what your saying believe me. I had to resort to sex toys, or a lot of foreplay it takes women a long time to be aroused. For me it was my husband doing more around the house and making me feel important. Go see what it could be I think it’s a lot of factors. Sex is the last thing on my mind. But, like I said toys, husband helping tell him to bring romance back idk everyone is different. Good luck!

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Tell him he has a hand use it

I disagree with a lot of women on here. He is trying to be honest and open with you about a sensitive topic. Men have needs and yes, sex is one of them. You would be just as frustrated if the roles were reversed. Do things that make you feel sexy as well, get some lingerie, get some toys for you both or something, whatever you like. But I feel just dismissing how he feels will only hurt your relationship and rightfully so. Talk to your OB if you feel it’s truly a problem for you. And personally I’ve found the more you have sex, the more your drive will go up.


Shove a watermelon up his ass tell him to push it out repeat it again (since u had 2 kids) and then see how frisky he feels after that #theywillneverknow

I must be extremely rare!!!

I require daily, multiple times a day sex and orgasms.

Half the time hubs has to turn me down because I’m wanting more from him (he’s very talented and I enjoy everything he has to offer) because he’s spent/tired.

We’ve been together for 13 years, 9 years married, with an almost 4 year old son.

I used to keep a tally mark of how many times a day we would have sex then add them up for the year for several years.

Over the years I tracked We averaged more than 1,000 times a year, during any given year, any where between 3-6 times a day.

Any time he trys turning me down I remind him that most married men are lucky to get ABC Sex, Blow jobs, or any other sexual attention.

Even going through PPD that almost ended my life and manic episodes from a rare side effect of the medication to help treat the PPD I still wanted sex.

I’m sorry I can’t offer any advice. It just seems so strange that y’all aren’t interested in sex.

Even when I work 12-13 hour shifts for a week straight then come home to do household duties, or when I’m stay-at-home mom while he’s working 13 hour shifts. I still manage to find energy to knock a few out of the park before going to bed to start the next day.

Over all these years my sex drive has never dropped, thank god! The endorphins released are the best.

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Everyone needs Sex. If they aren’t getting it from you, they are definitely getting it.

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Nothing you say will change his mind about how he feels about it and sadly some are just like that. Maybe try to meet halfway and do some foreplay and try to get in the mood. You never know what could happen and it may just what you both need to blow off steam.

Hormone Replacement Therapy. Been doing it for 7 years. It is amazing. Your body’s hormones are depleted over the years & your body does not replace them. I get a “pellet” implant every 3 months (from my OBGYN) based strictly on bloodwork & hormone levels. Mood, energy & libido are all fantastic. My husband said - I can’t believe that anyone’s bloodwork can be so depleted. He is amazed at the difference. Marriage saver!!

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Ugh yes. Currently 8 weeks with #3 and my sex drive has disappeared. Husband is NOT having it. It’s hard to try when you literally do not want anything to do with sex and are exhausted chasing 2 other kids around and it’s a huge turn off when they pout and throw a fit over it

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I’m going to be very very honest with you I had that same problem when I was in my first marriage and i had my two sons like I said my first marriage


You are not the bad guy! He is being selfish!

Buy that man a vibrating fleshlight. Problem solved :v: throw it at him when you get it. Make sure it hits him in the nuts


I’ve been on the opposite side of this. And was with a man that never wanted it. Mine very high even after having a kid. He didnt get that it literally would make me crazy to not have it. So I get were you husband is coming from. You really need to sit down and talk it out because if it’s a need he will find it someplace else. Personal I left the guy. He didnt understand the need I had and we argued about it constantly. Tried for a full year (we were together for 4 years total) to get him to understand that I needed it. So talk to your husband figure it out together. Wish you luck :+1:

My man is the same way. He gets over it though.

Time. It just takes a little time and patience.

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Sounds bad but just do it for him sometimes. Cant jist turn him down ALL the time. He will find it elsewhere.

I understand where you’re coming from but sex is part of your marriage and your husband is telling you he’s unhappy. That’s not selfish that’s him trying to keep your relationship together. If you told him you were unhappy about something you would want him to fix it wouldn’t you? I would see the doctor and explain to them the problem you have. Good luck.


You’re only 3 months postpartum , you have a newborn. It’s okay to not feel back to normal yet, especially regarding your sex life. The fact your husband can’t understand that there is a multitude of things causing your lack of sex drive is selfish. Also you’re ONLY 3 MONTHS PP.
good luck hun

Wait til you’ve been married 40 years!

Can’t you fake until you make it?

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If there is an answer, you will be the first. First time I asked my gyn he said try watching dirty moves. Ahead 30 years. Still a struggle for me. No answer. Still painful, no libido. Lucky my husband loves me a much as I love him.

Its good with the right one

I’m in the same boat. But he won’t stop until he gets what he wants

I was in the same situation with my first pregnancy. I lost all interest in sex and pleasure. The hard part now is I still have zero sex drive. Had this same problem during pregnancy and still having it now. :unamused: Apparently the whole being pregnant and hormonal isnt a good excuse to explain why you are the way you are now.

A sex therapist told us to cuddle & kiss , do everything but have sex for one month. We couldn’t believe the difference it made , good luck .

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Discuss with your Dr. I think it is a hormonal imbalance. They have meds for that now so do make an appt. At least see if there is something to help you. Some husbands are faithful some are not.

Tell him to push a pumpkin out his ass and see if he wants to just lie there and be pegged 3 months later :unamused: some men. You’re going through a recovery period AND it’s your second baby so you’re also taking care of another child. You probably still have your pp belly and don’t feel sexy at all. This is what porn is FOR. He’s only focusing on his needs and not understanding what you’re going through. Its ONLY been 3 months and half of that is your suggested recovery time. Explain to him while you understand he has needs, you need to be in the right mindset otherwise you’re just having sex out of what obligation? And what’s another word for having sex that your not totally comfortable with or want?

You will resent him if you just “lay there So he can finish”

Girl its only been two years. Have a glass or two of wine and give it up.