Seeking advice on how to keep the romance alive with our busy schedules.
hi can you please post on my behalf
Calling all mamas, I’m looking for some advice on what I and my partner can do for a night in. We work opposite shifts so when he’s home with kids I’m in work vise Versa. I normally finish quite late so don’t tend to do anything other than watch a film or series - anyway I find that we pretty much just always watch TV which means we aren’t really talking much, we talk about our day and the kids but that’s it really. I’m interested if anyone has any ideas of what we can do other than watching TV … my daughter is 8 and stays up quite late on the weekend so a night of sauciness Is out of the question 
we are low on money so going out is also a no go plus we would have to find sitters. what do you and your partners do at home to find quality time for each other something fun, unique maybe a little strange honestly open to all ideas? Thank you x
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We both really like true crime, so what I’ve started doing is buying case files on amazon where you solve murders, arson cases etc and check your answers online. It’s really neat and could be something your 8 yr old could get into as well
Usually what me & my husband do is go on a date at least once a month and have intimacy during the weekend. I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant so he’s been the one working and doing everything which has taken up time to actually get any romance but we try.
Well, we usually cuddle and talk in bed.
lock the door and take the time we need haha worry about the mess later
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Board games. I have found board games have done a lot for quiet nights in
Pull up YouTube and take a dance lesson! Learn to salsa or tango!
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I’m a cuddler, and he like tv/video games. So I just fall asleep in his lap usually. We cook together that’s always fun. Board games we are quite competitive. We also work on cars together.
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Me and my man are gamers. A good fun date night for us is finding a good game we both like on our Xbox one, ordering pizza and enjoying eachother.
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Game night, picnic on the living room floor of just snacks to nibble while you talk, or watch YouTube and learn how to do or make something then get all the things you need and do or make it together.
If its still warm enough where you live, my huband and i have taken to watching the sunset/ looking at the stars when he is home (he works out of town 6 days a week so I totallyf eel you) we will have a small picnic in the backyard. Its very romantic.
Your daughter is 8. Have her do a sleepover at a friends house. You can return favor for the friends parents as they might be needing the same as you
Get one of them WiFi/Bluetooth toys.
Enforce bedtime. Pop them little kiddos some melatonin (the body naturally makes it)
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Board games, card games, find some “date night challenges” do a tie dye project.
Instead of watching tv, be romantic. You want ideas on how to keep the romance alive, turn off the TV. I refuse to allow a TV into my bedroom bc it does take time away from the other person. Turn it off, put on some sexy lingerie, kiss the back of his neck…etc…or he can do it to you. Send sexy pics to each other throughout the day. I loved knowing my boyfriend couldn’t get up from his desk bc he was thinking of me…if daughter do stays up late on weekends, why not see if a family member or friend can watch her? My family doesn’t charge me to help with my daughter, but maybe that’s just my family. We like board games in candle light. Telling each other stories about their day while eating pizza at the table. It’s all about making time instead of finding the time. You have more time than you realize. I loved being woken up at 3am for some sexy time, my bf not so much. Lol but it’s all about what inerests yall share that work for yall. 
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Make a nice dinner some nice drinks put some candles on and cuddle show each other you care its not money or going out that’s worth more .
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We usually spend a quiet night outside with the radio on low and a small fire going, (in the bbq,less mess) pillows and sleeping bags out under the stars just talking or sipping wine. Works for us.
My husband & I are the exact same way! We work opposite schedules. But what we do to make the romance alive is we have a bedtime for the kids. We have an 8year old & 1 1/2 year old . Our 8 year old has a bedtime of 745p on school days & on the weekends he has it 9 unless we are camping. But even than our son has been so use to schedule that if we don’t put him to bed he will put himself into bed lol. Our 1 1/2 year old goes to sleep after we put our oldest to bed we lay her down in her crib & give her her bottle & about 25min or so shes out like a light some nights are a little longer than others but after the kiddos are in bed we talk, have a drink, sometimes are intimate. You both have to make time for your relationship! Good luck girl.
My husband and I pop some corn and play card games all the while talking to each other too
On a day off get babysitter then hotel with room service.
Sent the daughter to a friends for a sleep over. Then you can return the favor.
Play a game of cards it’s doesn’t have to be any game in particular but turn it into a sex game…or play strip jenga and set it up as truth or dare with make for a fun sexy night that is cheap and your still able to do it in your own home even if the kids are asleep at the other end of the house…that’s why baby monitors were invented:wink:
Cooking or baking together is always fun. Painting or drawing together, the lo can be involved as well in this.
Make dinner together, get out some cards. Play jenga. Go for a walk around the block. Sit on the porch with quiet music and chat. Glass of wine.
My bf and i spend one night a week cooking dinner together and just being a couple
While the kids run around lol
But he doesnt get on xbox, i dont turn on my shows
Might have sesame st on for my son though lol
You could just wait for your daughter to go to bed lol. That’s what my husband and I have to do
Board games, Wii games, card games, candle lite bath, etc. There is a lot of things you can do at home. Definitely in force bed time with your daughter. You guys could even make up your own game .
Door locks are great for kids who stay up late.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to keep the romance alive?re - Mamas Uncut
Watch a movie together. Write them a letter. Make a special meal for just you 2.
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depends how old your kids are, sometimes i purposely feed our kiddos before us so that we can somewhat enjoy a meal “alone”, instead of parenting all through dinner. don’t get me wrong you still have to parent as you eat , but atleast they can play and you don’t have to focus on them eating
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we started meeting for lunch sometimes, no kids because they are in school, and cheaper meal without the kids lol
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I don’t know what your bedtime routine is for your kids (or how well they sleep when put to bed), but keeping a solid routine can really free up your evenings so you can spend time together.
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Stay up for an hour after the kids go to bed and play hang man or tic tac toe…I know it sounds cheezy but that’s the most fun we’ve had. We just moved states away from out family and never have alone time.
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We moved to a new state so we know no one. I suggest making a friend that once you get to know them you feel as though you can trust them with your kids every once in awhile and they don’t mind watching them for free. Mine are 15 an 12 so we can leave them home on their own for a couple hours here an there. We do movies together and dinners or lunches. Sometimes we just go out for the day and run errands just us. We also have shows that we watch together on a regular. An they’re shows we won’t watch without the other bc they’re for us time. Just find yourself a groove where you can have time to yourselves even if the kids are maybe in the background. So nice things for one another.
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After putting children to bed spent the night together doing nice things. Romantic dinner under candle lights, movie night, massage, get in patio and watch the stars and have a glass of wine, dance in garden, or just cuddle on sofa
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Start the family in church find the right one and you will have a church family to help
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Have you met anyone nearby with whom you could exchange babysitting?
Movie night , dinner alone after kids go to bed , lunch dates or even a picnic in the backyard , lock the bedroom door , shower together when they are in bed .
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Do date night put kids to bed early. Have a dinner together. Watch a movie an snuggle. Or play a game that you both like. Make it a sexy game.
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Have some alone time after they go to bed…play a couples game…I planned a scanner hunt for my man…with small inexpensive gifts or a love coupon he can redeem…hide stuff throughout your house And think of funny clues to lead him to the next location…and end up in the bedroom for romance…plan an evening picnec somewhere in your home after the kiddos go to bed…give each other a massage…write him live notes and hide them in his sock drawer or where you know he’ll find them…plan a movie night…at home …
Just you two after they go to bed…
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One good way to keep the romance going is to leave little love notes for each other. You could put them in his lunch if he carries his lunch to work. Put a note on the bathroom mirror. Maybe sneak one in his car. Maybe fix one of his favorite meals once a week and if you have special dishes, use those. Or feed the kids early one night and park them in front of a movie and have supper with him by yourselves, if you can pull that off. Like as not, you’ll have little ones joining you for “bites”. But it’s worth a try. Maybe you could put the kids to bed early on a weekend night and invite him into the shower with you. I know you said you didn’t want just sex to be your only romantic contact, but that’s the romantic language most men speak. You know your husband pretty well. I’ll bet you can think of other things that will get his attention. Good luck. 
Me and hubby have dinner alone a lot once kids are in bed Follower by a candlelight bath and some movies
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You do not have to much options because you can’t afford a sitter or have family or friends close to help you with the kids .
So , you have to do something after the kids are in bed .
You can watch a movie together , if you live in a house and have a backyard or even in a balcony you can just listening to some music and have some drinks .
After kids are asleep do simple romantic things that doesn’t need any money have picnic after dark , movies , massages, dinner under the stars , just be and enjoy each other one way or another u will get a chance to get out more alone with hubby but this helps I’m currently in the same situation we always with our kids but we try to make time to just be
If the children are young… make early bedtime part of their routine. As parents we HAVE TO make time for “us”. My kids learned growing up that certain times were for dad and mom. Period!
Kids don’t sleep in mom and dad’s bed. Again, that is not their space. Don’t let that routine get started. It will be extra work on your part in the early years but SOOO worth it later.
Some parents forget that they are part of a partnership when they have children. I get it when mom is nursing, exhausted, and chained to the couch but… it doesn’t stay that way. Children have to be taught boundaries even with their parents relationship… they don’t get ALL ACCESS anytime, anywhere. But obviously you’re not that parent.
If the kiddos are older and don’t need steady supervision… take a bath with hubby. Heck my dad was 6’1" and he and my mom took baths together while I was growing up. We didn’t think anything of it, at least I didn’t. Smoke and talk at the kitchen table or smoke and talk in the tub. What’s the difference? Ohhh, yeah! 
Plug the kids into a movie… sit outside in the evenings. Visit, eat, dessert. Play a game. Cribbage is a good two person game. Have a drink… teach the children to amuse themselves… “this is mom and dad’s time. Do not interrupt unless there’s blood.”
That builds the kids accountability, self responsibility, and confidence. They learn to be ‘capable’. Boundaries are so beneficial to children. Happy wife, happy life! 
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Midnight strip golf if a doozy game you can play indoors. Have a popcorn and movie night with a wine or 2. Keep the kids in their rooms so you have your space. Spontaneous bubble bath for yourselves with candles and wine waiting, there is all sorts you can do.
We have our kids always too. We try to do small things together. Sometimes after they go to bed we watch a movie or show on the couch, with snacks or late dinner. It’s not anything crazy & we still wish for more alone time outside the house of course, but we make it a point to do so & it still feels like quality time.
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Do you have a great friend that might just take the kids for a couple hours just so you can have time together. I used to make a different dinner on date night and we’d eat after the kids were in bed.
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Put the kids to bed, light some candles and have a romantic picnic in the middle of your living room. Get creative.
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When my husband and I were working opposite schedules, we would have late night “picnics” in our bedroom just chilling, watching a movie, talking.
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after the kids are in bed, go outside & sit & look up to the sky & see how beautiful it is, Just relax & enjoy 
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Following cuz girl same. But i work overnights and he works days so we don’t even get much time between the kids going to bed and me going to work or if im off he has to go to bed early to be up by 430 for work
We have 2 kids and spend all our time with them. Late evenings we go out for walks together, work out together, play tennis together. Sports really bring us together. My husband still takes us on beach walks, set up the tent on the beach, bon fires on the beach, etc. The kids play and we get to watch the sun set. Point is, the whole family get out of the house and do activities together.
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I dunno man, seeing my husband be a food father makes me melt, he brings me coffee and makes my coffee which he doesnt even drink lol hes always making me feel special even when I’m elbow dead in kids stuff…
romance is what you make it, it may sound harsh but these kind of statements made by the op are borderline childish (selfish)
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I love to give and receive massages. Light some candles, use warm oil, listen to your favorite music, and just relax together. It’s really fun.
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Play a game or watch a movie and cuddle after kids are put to bed early
Even if it’s after the kids go to bed, just make time for yous to lay in bed and talk/watch tv together.
Run a joint bubble bath with bubble watch Netflix
Or order stuff from Love honey or Ann summers spice it up a bit xx
My husband and I have our kids all the time too. We have found enjoyment and us time by cooking together or taking time for us while our son is entertained with screen time or his toys. Recently was gifted a telescope so when our son is in bed he sets it up and we go star watching for a bit. Weve also found that taking a shower together for the intimacy not sex is a good way to get us time as well. The little times you get where the kids aren’t right under your feet are the best times to try to take us time.
Give the kids gummy melatonin at 7:30pm lol
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Have date night at home after the kids go to bed. Not the same but quality time with no phones can go a long way.
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Definitely walks/hiking ❤️
We used to do at home dates where one of us would cook dinner. The kids would pretend we were at a restaurant and be our waitress. They would take our order and serve our food and we would get to eat dinner just us two at the table. This was fun when we couldn’t get out but wanted to date
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I’m right there with you I wish I had the a answer myself
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Love notes not to long. Shower together when kids are asleep, watch movie, order take out have a special dinner just two of you. Dress sexy dance for him. If you have a yard put a blanket down lay together alone watch the starts and talk cuddle
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Kudos to you for realizing the loss. It’s so hard when they are little. Try to carve out 1/2 hours where you can cuddle and talk… maybe smoke one. They grow so fast, in 24 months it will be easier. 
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Have a bedtime for them. Then you will have time for you and your significant other