My boyfriend and I have been together 4years we have two small children 1 and 2 years old he is very manipulating and controlling so I have no freedom and he wants to get married i think so if i ever leave he can get full custody of the kids and I dont wanna be in the unhealthy relationship anymore so what would be the best thing for myself and my children to get out of the relationship with out bs???
20 Likes
Leave before its to late
5 Likes
Start slowly setting yourself up so you can make sure you’ll get the kids. Like saving money he doesn’t know about…finding a place…having a solid job. Stuff like that…when you have yourself set up, covered your own ass…then leave. Cover your bases!
He wouldn’t get full custody unless the court thought you were unfit. You need to leave and build a life for you and your kids.
8 Likes
Try and find a woman’s shelter, and they can’t help you get out.
4 Likes
Leave it’s going to get worse always does
3 Likes
Leave now for those kids and your life
2 Likes
Leave girl. Don’t let him use manipulation on you either, tell him that shit ain’t gonna work!! Do what is best for you and your kids. Today.
Woman always get custody unless your unfit …
3 Likes
Take courage and leave b4 u regret each day u live with him
1 Like
DO NOT GET MARRIED
Go to a women shelter or a family members house. Get police reports for everything possible. Get an attorney and file for some custody
2 Likes
Pack your things,call the police and tell them you need help go to a safe shelter, file a restraining order to block him trying to get the kids, if you can leave the area don’t walk, run… and do not ever contact him or his family…get your life back. You deserve it and so do your babies…it will be hard, but what would be harder for them is visiting your grave, or having him tell your children you left them cause you didn’t love or want them…God bless and keep you
1 Like
Women’s shelter dont endanger friends or family. The shelter will know everything you need to do
1 Like
If he’s controlling now… just imagine how much worse it’ll be if you marry him and he thinks you’re not going anywhere! Plus, You don’t want your kids growing in that environment. Leave now and figure out the details later.
2 Likes
Reach out to family to help u n kids leave NOW!
2 Likes
While he’s at work or wherever it is he goes, leave than. Don’t do it while he’s home coz hell just manipulate the shit out of you to stay
Leave. You can’t avoid the BS. If he is controlling and manipulative now it will continue after you leave. Keep any evidence you can.
2 Likes
Contact a women’s shelter, a domestic violence hotline, and your doctor. They can help you with an escape plan that allows you to leave safely. Not sure where you’re located, but http//www.thewomenscenter.org is a good resource. They are in the DC area & could possibly refer you to other useful web sites & services in your area also.
2 Likes
If possible start saving a lil bit if funds, start applying for assistance to help for the kids… And get out… Good luck.
1 Like
It’s sad to know for 4 years then want out after 2 small children. Try to find help to get out before it’s worse. Friends, family, etc. Get on your feet and carry on. Sounds so easy on “paper” but it’s so hard. You can do it.
1 Like
Leave as soon as you can! If you dont leave go to see a therapist both of you. As far as getting custody dont worry about it unless you are a child rapist not gonna happen.
1 Like
Get out and get out now. I was in exactly the same position at the start of last year and I was so scared that I wouldn’t be able to do it on my own or that he would follow us or never leave me alone and it was the best decision I’ve ever made me and the kids couldn’t be happier!!! Your more capable than you think! You will be fine but you need to leave now because it will never change and you don’t want your kids to see you unhappy xxx
2 Likes
He would have to prove you’re an unfit mother first. If you’re already this unhappy DON’T marry him, instead take the kids and leave! If you think he will get violent or psycho get a protection order.
2 Likes
Leave asp when he’s not home just you n your kids don’t say anything just do it…
1 Like
Men don’t just change when they are controlling. They say they will but never do. It just gets worst. If you don’t leave your kids will eventually learn that trait and will do the same You really don’t want that
Don’t marry that douche
1 Like
Things do not get better after marriage. If they were bad before they will just get worse.
1 Like
A- Leave if he’s a dick.
B- Getting married would have no affect on custody after a split.
Leave or dont get married. I’m never gonna marry my kids dad hes kind of the same.
1 Like
Don’t marry him! Look around to see if there are any programs for displaced house wives that may help you get a place and a job or schooling etc… Call the battered women’s shelter to get numbers to help you find help.
1 Like
Make yourself a plan and talk to a womans shelter. Get an attorney and get the paperwork drawn up. Explain to them about your boyfriend and file a restraining order. Then when you have everything in place you take the baby and leave one day when he is at work and doesn’t expect a thing. Good luck.
1 Like
What is his side of the story?
2 Likes
Call a women’s shelter. They will help you exit safely. Then go get educated so you can support your kids.
1 Like
Look for a job than leave him!
There is always bs…
Best you’re not married already…
You already know the answer to this.
He wants to marry you so he can own you, don’t do it momma. Get in touch with family you trust or look into women’s shelters.
2 Likes
Plan ahead. Pack up what you and your kids need , when he’s not around take them and leave go to a woman’s shelter out of state
1 Like
Do NOT do it! Never. Run like hell to a woman’s shelter, preferably far away where he would never think of looking for you. There is help out there.
1 Like
If u do nothing you will regret down the road…itll just get worse…believe me ive had plenty of turds…lol
Just leave and deff dont marry him that will just make it way more complicated
Pack what you need for you and the kids while he is at work and go to a dv shelter. Leave your cell phone behind.
1 Like
There’s going to be BS. Anyone that’s that controlling isn’t going to respond well when you leave. Definitely get out and file for hearing for custody arrangements. As much as it helps, you don’t have to have an attorney if that’s something you can’t afford. But I’d recommend looking into attorneys that help in low income situations if that applies to you. I hope things work out for you!
1 Like
Don’t get married. Worst mistake u can make. He will think he owns you then and the abuse will get worse. Leave now. Like asap!! Make plans with a shelter of do something and get out. But make sure u leave while he’s gone.
1 Like
Is he physically abusive? Do you have a reason to be afraid of him? I would not suggest running to an out of state shelter. If there is no threat of physical harm or danger just be an adult and tell him you don’t want to be with him anymore and leave. File for custody. I swear some of these comments you would think that the man is beating you.
Pack a bag for your kids and yourself and leave with your kids when he isn’t home. If you don’t it will only continue to get worse. Do what’s best for your babies and yourself.
3 Likes
Go to a shelter where your safe. Yes go
1 Like
Make a plan such as living arrangements for yourself and the kids, pack up while he is at work, file for custody (it will take about 2 days before he gets it), and leave.
Get yourself and your children out of there as fast as you can. Go to the courthouse and file for custody. This is no way to bring up children because it will be with them forever, and I’m sure you don’t want to affect your children in a negative way.
Married or not if you leave the kids with him then he can keep them. You have too file for custody first and get you and the kids out while he is gone.
U need to leave him but need cash to so try and get some saved so u have some money when leave. He won’t get custody of children unless court can c u r unfit to look after the children. But u sound to be on the ball Get out when he go to work one day or if it’s your house get his stuff packed when he at work then get locks changed. Good luck xx
1 Like
Get out, run don’t walk to a shelter or your family for safety.
I’ve been in the same situation and the thing that saved me is I did not marry him. I left in the middle of the night and never looked back and because we were never married I never had to give and the children. yes we are still fighting in court because he was abusive but I do not want my children around him but due to the fact that we never got married saved me. and he sure was pushing to get married just so he could do the exact same thing and then that you’re with is trying to do to you.
Run for your life. Nothingwill ever get better only worse
1 Like
Dont get married and leave you’ll have to share custody of the kids regardless
If you can talk to him and break up and go through court civally thats your best option. If not and you need an out and feel unsafe. Go to a womans shelter. Talk with your local womans advocate they can give you options and resources. And file for custody. Seek concelling as well for the abuse you have been through it helps. Make sure your babies are safe. Just keep the courage to get out and stay out… It’s one of the hardest things to do.
When he goes pack clothes and special things and leave …
First off if you guys wherent married when the kids where born even if you get married which fuck no I wouldn’t he still has no legal rights to the children so you could take them and he can’t stop you but I wouldn’t get married if he is controlling now it will only get worse go to a women’s shelter they will help you
Follow ur gut, the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave.
Don’t marry him if he’s like that already! Things only get worse if he’s like that now. Take your kids and leave. You all deserve better!
1 Like
I would leave town definately
document everything now, for as long as you can and take it to a lawyer. save up a minimum of 5k for it. my ex is also manipulative and made our divorce as drawn out and ugly as possible. ended up spending over 10k for lawyer fees and 17k in credit card debt. just prepare now. guys like that will say and do anything to make you look as bad as possible. don’t even try to play nice.
Why do you think if you leave him , he would gain custody ? It takes a lot to prove a mother unfit . If he has documentation and proof your an unfit mom then yes you will be in a custody battle . If you don’t work , you need to in case he would take you to court and seek custody and you need to have stability where you and your kids are living . If your not happy then why are you with him? Your only showing your children it’s ok for the way he treats you . Time to move out and focus just on you and your kids and I hope it all works out for you and for them . It’s awesome when both parents can get along for the sake of the children . Controlling is not good or is any abuse
Leave and file for Emergency custody. Dont message him or respond to threats and dont let anyone he knows , know where you are. It’s for your safety and your babies safety
Call a shelter and get their advice. Speaking from experience, you need emotional help to get your ass out of there. A shelter will help you figure everything out…that and the comments here.
Girl pack you stuff and run like hell don’t look back just take your babies and run Its only gonna get worse
First of all …DO NOT MARRY HIM!!I agree with those who say “Plan Ahead” have a safe place for you and your kids to go …( and if he’s manipulative DO NOT AGREE TO MEET WITH HIM ALONE… I know men like that and they will either Try to get you back (saying crap like “I’ll change just give me a chance!!” or try to eliminate you—you may think he’s not like that …but a lot of men can turn violent if things don’t go their way.) Do not fall for it but better yet DO NOT MEET HIM ALONE ) once he figures out he’s lost you he may become violent. Supervised visitation at first ----court supervised…get a restraining order( I know that a restraining order is “Just a piece of paper” but it will show the courts that you do not trust him.) It will take time,tears and a strong will but you can do it mama …I have faith in you!!