How to leave my toxic relationship for good?

I can't stay away. I can't help but still hurt. I have been battling this relationship with my kids father for 6 years. I left last year. And have managed to still run back even if it's for a week every couple months. I cant stay away.. and I know I need too. I know it's not healthy. I know it's toxic. It's manipulation. He's a battling addict. Narcissist. Emotionally and at one point was physically abuse. I've went as far as wanting to take my kids and leave state just to make myself stay away. I'm at a loss. I don't wanna hurt anymore. I don't want him to have the emotional power over me anymore. Idk what to do. Other than therapy which I know I need. What are some ways you've gained the self control and the strength to just move on and let him go so he can let me go.
40 Likes

If you have kids together it’ll be harder to leave the state. What’s the reason you keep going back? Being single & supporting yourself / your kids should give you confidence. Being independent should help. Set boundaries with him, only talk when it’s about the kids. When he drops them off don’t have him come in, & do the same when you drop them off. It’s hard when someone won’t let you go, but do whatever boundaries you can to show him you’re serious. If he still continues to do things then take it to court & see if the judge can help mediate

If it’s bad your unhappy leave. People will say it’s harder when have kids yes but it will only get better once the hard part over. Iv done it two times. And sometimes you just have too. But it’s also how strong you can be. And know your self worth and what’s right for everyone.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to leave my toxic relationship for good?

No communication for a while and then when you do make it strickly about the children… The only thing that worked for me. Then when I finally found my happiness and peace within myself I refused to ever imagine going to that place with him.

2 Likes

Just keep dot pointing all the disgusting things he did to you that made you feel like you are worthless and how U let yourself want what he offers will disappear… you realise you deserve better and it becomes easier

2 Likes

No one can give you a simple do this or do that answer only you have the power to leave, your clearly aware its a unhealthy toxic situation. Think of your children.

1 Like

A restraining order, and make sure you enforce it. Go to court and get child support. If you do things that way,he will have to leave you alone.

1 Like

I returned to my husband 3 times before I left properly. Its hard when you love someone but sometimes its good for them too. He sorted himself out. Stopped drinking ( the cause of the violence ) and we got back together after 3 years apart .
We had a child so saw each other regularly. Yes I still loved him and it was hard…but it taught him lessons. Probably saved his life…and made me a stronger person who dealt with his shit very differently when we got back together.
Make plans and leave.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to leave my toxic relationship for good?

Therapy! Find a good counselor, and go, as often as you need to at first! I once felt this way with my children’s father, like no matter what he did, I forgave it because I “needed” him. But you DONT! Therapy with a licensed therapist opened my eyes to what was really going on, and opened my eyes to how I was allowing it. I’ve gained a whole new level of power and control over my life. We did end up getting back together, and things were great for months. Now we’re in a different situation that’s testing our strength together, but, I know that I still don’t have to settle. I have it in me too walk away and move on with my life, no matter how much I love him! Find the therapist. You will be so thankful you did! :raised_hands::heart:

2 Likes

The Holistic Psychologist. Nicole Delapera.
‘How to do the work’ Book and Podcast
Please find her work, you won’t regret
Be brave, find yourself again

1 Like

I went through this myself ! It’s hard; but you need domestic violence counselling and he needs help too ! But you need to do what’s best for you and your kids :heart: stay strong mama; your not alone!

3 Likes

I left when my life was on the line…10 yrs of physical,emotional,and mental abuse…I did the same thing me and my kids left,spent time away from each other,got back together 2 or 3 times…after me and the kids finally left for good the truth abt his alcoholism and drug abuse and his own mental health became known…if u can leave the state,do it…get away…u already c the hold he has over u,and u kno its toxic,ur already half way there,U CAN GET AWAY!!!..

2 Likes

It took my x husband knocking me out and kicking our 9 month old son for me to finally leave after 7 1/2 years. Things got progressively worse and worse everytime I went back. YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON FOR LEAVING! You aren’t giving up on him. If you really love him you need to leave and stop enabling him. It’s going to be hard but the longer you stay away the more you will heal :heart::heart:

7 Likes

Sit and write down every single time he’s ever hurt you. Once you fully grasp how toxic and unacceptable the things he’s done to you are, you’ll feel so many negative feelings that you will never want to put yourself through it again . It’s amazing how unattractive a person is once when you remove the rose colored glasses. Hope you find your freedom once and for all :pray:

Learn your self worth.

1 Like

It sounds like you have a case of “loving the devil you know instead of the angel you’ve never met”. You still love him, but you have got to love yourself first. For your sake, but more for your kids’ sake. It won’t be easy, but when you feel yourself missing him…fill your soul with love and worth. You deserve better, you are worth it. Do things that make you feel good. Focus on your children. Believe that you are worthy of love and respect and you’ll accept nothing less. This is the only way to move on.

It took me 3 years to stop running back :woozy_face: all I can say is … time… you will eventually seek better for yourself and now that I’m on my own with 2 kids I couldn’t be happier and it definitely reflects in my kids :100::innocent:

3 Likes

It’s your job to protect your children. They don’t deserve to live in a dangerous unstable situation. Leave for them.

4 Likes

For me, it took involving the police and a restraining order so he couldn’t manipulate me back. I know it’s hard but it’s so worth it for you and your kids :heart:

U will keep running back until you properly had enough. Might be now might be another 6 years all depends on u

1 Like

Therapy will help immensely

1 Like

Wanting my children to live in a stable home and the PEACE that came with being on my own became enough for me to divorce their father after 7 years. Put you and your kids first. Talk to a professional. Good luck.

2 Likes

For me I had to know I was ready and I had enough. Once I left I never went back.

Write down everything he has ever done. Write at the end of it that eventually he will kill you. Read the whole thing anytime you feel like you want to go back.

5 Likes

My ex hubby is closet gay, he still wants to stay there a while longer. Things I went through in my marriage, no woman should go through. Physical violence, especially during pregnancy & after while I’m holding her in my arms, then it’s the psychological, emotional, verbal & financial abuse, marital vaginal & anal rape, infidelity with 5 different women & countless men, put me out of the house at odd hours of the morning, I sometimes woke up with a carving knife against my temple & death threats, assaulted me for my own salary, manipulative to his own family, doesn’t support his child, he tells his family lies about me AND last but not least, my current hubby & I saw him digging in dirtbins for food, after we found out from his street living buddies that he’s a gay male prostitute, selling his body to support his habit.

My current hubby didn’t tell me he loves me, he was patient, waited, watched me go through the hurt & cared enough to show me that he loves me. He let me fall apart, be angry & hurt but he didn’t just leave, he stayed & we healed each other. We put our broken pieces together & they fit perfectly.

The thing is, nobody can force you to do it. You have to be brave enough, strong enough & brazen enough to make the conscious decision to be yourself again, to live, love & laugh. You are killing yourself staying in that relationship. You are intelligent and beautiful, you are enough, you are alive, so live :raised_hands:t3:

You’re putting your kids through a lot of emotional turmoil. They need and deserve stability outside of a toxic unhealthy atmosphere. They also deserve to see relationships that are good examples for their future. Your kids should be your motivation.
Seek counseling. If he’s an addict and abusive and you’re repeatedly putting them in harms way, you’re gambling with the chance losing your children.
I’ve been there, and once I left, I never looked back. You have the strength to leave, you just need to make the choice.

1 Like

Move to another state

1 Like

I was in an abusive and toxic relationship on and off from the time I was 15 to 21… little by little my disgust for him grew. We moved away together when I was 20, the day we moved, I knew it wouldn’t last. I told him, when we break up and I move home, this is it! I will never come back to you. A year later, that’s exactly what happened. He tried to get me back, he came to my hometown and stalked me for a day and then pulled his car right up to me. I told him, you need to leave right now or I will call the police, we are done, leave me alone! It’s been 9 years! Life has been amazing for me! I’m in an almost 8 year relationship and we have a child together! There is life behind this relationship, you just can’t see it right now!

6 Likes

No contact worked 4 me but we had no kids.

I had an issue like this. Just like it. I was about to move me and my 3 kids right back in with him. But this was 7 years ago. He was on drug court though. And he violated for one too many times and the day before I was to move me and our kids back in with him (I was with him for 10 years and had been broken up for 6 months) the very day before he got arrested through drug court and was sent away for 8 months. Thats what it took to break away from that toxic terrible abusive relationship. Him going to jail. I found someone else and ended up getting pregnant by complete accident and surprise and that man and are still together today over 6 years later. My ex got out after 8 months to me being pregnant by another man and he STILL tried talking me into getting an abortion or else he would never be with me again. He was terrible. He ended up stealing my car and stealing guns and going right back to prison after he was out for 3 weeks. He did 4 more years for that and I haven’t looked back. I wish he would be a dad to our 3 kids but his mentality is that if him and I are not together he doesn’t need to be in his kids lives. Its sad but were all better off. My kids are all better off. I’m better off. But if he didn’t go to jail I wonder how Terrible my life would be today. I often think about that. I know I wouldn’t be where I am and where I am has taken me years to climb to. Sometimes its too hard to leave for good. I know. But once you do you’ll question why you stayed so long. You should move. Its the only way obviously. Unless he gets arrested too. Lol

3 Likes

Seek help, Counseling services and go to Al-Anon meetings.

Your not in love with him.

2 Likes

I’m now going through this too it’s farkin hard and they crawl back in with I miss you and I wish you didn’t do this and all the crap

I did this for years with my ex. I knew it was a bad relationship. I was never happy with him. But he made me feel, idk insignificant without him. I’m not sure that’s the word. The constant emotional abuse made me feel like it me not him. Anyway the last time I left him I I was in a bad place emotionally. I ended up getting counseling through a DV agency. I didn’t believe I was in a DV situation. A friend convinced me to try it. It’s the best thing I ever done. With the counselor’s help I learned the control he had over me & that I wasn’t wrong like he was training me brain to believe. He still tries to control my emotions years later. I don’t let him. He’s gone as far as have others bully me & my kids. I just learned that he & all his accomplices need to hurt me to feel like they have power. I won’t give it to them. I live my life knowing I’m more successful & loved than he ever will be.

Moving out of state was big help emotionally. I have grown so much in the past 2 years that I hadn’t in the 4 years since I got rid of him before. I recommend it. But if you share children keep record of his abuse. Texts, recorded calls etc. Because when you go to court either to move or just for visitation he will manipulate the judge into believing it’s all you. I was lucky enough to get a judge who saw through him. I was released of his control that the law allows men to take. You can too.

1 Like

Until you’re all the way done, you will go back.
How much is enough? He obviously doesn’t respect you or love or what are you running back for? He’s not changing. There won’t be an “Oh, I better shape up” moment for him until he hits rock bottom. He doesn’t have to bc you won’t let go.
Remind yourself he’s using you. He will continue to do so until you’ve had enough and value yourself.

That could be now or 5yeats from now. But, until you’re ready fo stop tolerating bs, you won’t. :heart:

3 Likes

You have to learn to love yourself enough that you wont put up with anything less than perfect. Also your kids will model their relationships after how they sees yours. Change is scary but we dont get any where standing still. <3

2 Likes

I left at night with 3 kids and went to a womans shelter its been 8 years and im finally free

2 Likes

My children. I had a vail over my eyes that my children needed him because I was a daddy’s girl and I wanted my kids to have that too.
He wanted me and not my kids. That’s all he wanted. If he wasn’t in my pants he treated my kids and I like garbage.
That how I did it. Now I’m in therapy and now I’m truly done with him and never been happier.

3 Likes

Just know you’re setting your kids up to allow themselves to be treated just that way.
Wonder if you were too.
Break that fking cycle now so your kids and theirs know their worth!!! Know yours :black_heart:

7 Likes

You have to constantly remind yourself why you left.

2 Likes

Al-anon helped me tremendously.

1 Like

If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for your kids. Tell yourself what kind of relationship would you want for your kids.

3 Likes

You gotta start dating other men so they can show you what a good relationship can be like

4 Likes

Probably not the best advice, but I can’t move on unless I’m dating other people. Even if it’s just for fun and no intentions to get in another relationship, it shows me there are good people out there and I can move on and take my time.

3 Likes

I’ve been where you are
He went to prison for abusing me and I still stayed. I couldn’t leave. It felt IMPOSSIBLE
I belonged to him
You do WHATEVER you need to do to leave/stay away forever
I started dating an older man to occupy my time. That was 6 years ago and now we’re getting married. You have to open yourself up for someone that will make you happy.
I look back at my life and it makes me sick. He was abusive, manipulative, an addict. He chooses to stay out of our daughters life. He signed his rights away to my fiancé so he can adopt her. We can talk civil now that I don’t expect anything from him.
So the answer. When it comes down to it, you just leave. It sounds simple, and it’s hard at first, but it gets easier. Going back is just opening the wound over and over. It gets harder to try to heal that wound every time you go back.
So it sounds like you’ve already left. Just stay away. Do whatever it takes. For you and your babies. I promise, I prooomiseeee it gets to a point where you think “wtf was I doing?!?”
I’m so happy.
You will be too

4 Likes

Think of your children. They don’t need to see this and think it’s ok.

1 Like

Seek help. Oh wait… you’re already doing that on social media. Live your life! Find your passion.

2 Likes

Good news is its obviously not love making you relapse, its addiction, and I personally think addiction is easier to cure because its clinical rather than ethereal, you must as a parent protect your kids from your dangerous addictions, good luck

2 Likes

Take it from someone who was raised by a narcissist. I prayed to god my mother would leave him she never did she still with my father till this day. My father broke my heart before any man could. I wish my mom would have realized how much damage she cost us by staying with him. I am a adult now with so many emotional problems. Please take your kids far away from him they will thank you later.

2 Likes

I battle this demon every single day. I left my husband 5 months ago and every night I want to text him or call him. I still love him but I know deep down he’s bad for me. He emotionally and physically abused me but it’s like that’s what u knew for 11 years so it’s a normal feeling to me. It’s like not being yelled at and called names is weird and I feel more anxiety about not getting treated like shit?? My therapist says this is normal. We were so used to being treated so bad that we grew immune to their behavior. That’s what’s so messed up about it. We know it’s bad for us but we want it. We yearn for it because it’s in us still. We just need to break it. :sleepy: We deserve more and we are queens and this to shall pass​:smiling_face_with_three_hearts::smiling_face_with_three_hearts::kissing_heart::kissing_heart:sending love your way :heart:

You need to stop doing this to your kids!

1 Like

It is HARD. to leave and stay away from an abusive person. Its hard to think about the bad days when there are good days. But I PROMISE you, once you leave and stay gone, you will be soooo much happier! I left a horrible relationship a few months ago and I am soo much happier!! I also had a child with him and I never deal with him because he rarely asks about her. I know it’s difficult but its something you gotta force yourself to do. If you don’t, things will not change. Especially if he learns that you will never truly leave.

2 Likes

All of the above is easier said than done. I was in an extremely toxic relationship for years, he had to almost kill me and he succeeded in killing our unborn child. So it literally took our child’s death and me basically on my deathbed, saved by the grace of God, to finally leave. I’m not saying it will take this for you, just my experience. I would get away from him and come back to him and his manipulative ways like a stupid puppy. It was incredibly sad. Think of it like this, life or death situation. Survival mode. Survive this!!

4 Likes

Focus on yourself and your kids first. Always. Occupy your time with activities with your kids. Over time it will get easier. Always remind yourself why your done with him. For your kids. They want a happy mom

3 Likes

The only thing to do with a narcissist is grey rock. Google it and find out. It will also allow you to see him in his absolute best performances. He’ll cycle through every manipulative tool in his toolbox. Grey rock every single one and watch how fast he cycles through them.

1 Like

For crying out loud as the saying goes, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this one out. If anything tell him he must commit to a rehab program. I would not subject my children to anyone with problems like this dude has. Please for the love of Pete, begone this guy.

Before you try to leave again, contact your local domestic violence agency. They will help develop a safety plan for you to leave and help you get a restraining order. And contact an attorney ASAP

1 Like

Stop! Stop going back! It’s not going to get better…. You need you & your kids more than an abusive addict. Been there. Thank God he gave me the strength to leave!

1 Like

Cut him off 100%. Get a restraining order if need be and get a referral for counseling from your local battered women’s organization. And yes, leave the state first.

Go to a women’s shelter and do the work. Counseling and the whole nine yards. Move far away and make everyday about Your kids and You getting better. Your prince will come after the kids are settled . It’s Family time.No Dad is better than a bad Dad. Much love and good luck honey ,you got this .

I went back and forth with my ex-husband a million times. I’d get the courage to either throw him out or leave myself, a short amount of time would pass and there would be some reason for us to speak (we have a daughter together, but she was never the reason for us to speak because then not now does he have anything to do with her). One thing would lead to another, he has changed, he misses his family blah blah blah. I would fall for it and either come back or take him back… everything would be perfect for a week or two. One time we even made it a whole month with things being amazing… then, repeat the entire process. I had finally had enough, and I reached out to my friend. She was familiar with how he was because she was one of the people he alienated during our relationship and marriage. When I talked to her, she said me and the kids could stay with her, if we wanted to. I packed up, put my stuff in storage, took what we needed and left. I moved in with her, her husband and their two kids. So it was 3 adults and 6 kids in her 4 bedroom house. It was cramped and hectic but it was what I needed. I realized I didn’t miss my husband, I missed the body next to me… someone to watch TV with or talk to. By having her, it occupied my mind and my time. Within 3 months, I had saved enough money to get a new place. That was almost 6 years ago. Now I’m remarried, happy, healthy and stable. I haven’t looked back.

5 Likes

If you have kids, if you stay u are telling your kids its exceptable behaviour and its ok… And it isnt. Its that simple… However l get it, so absolutely get counselling and understand its going to take time… Put motivational quotes around the house. Have a close girlfriend stay, stay strong… Its ok to be heartbroken BUT DON’T GO BACK… Goodluck

1 Like

Honestly you have to break your own heart. Leave, block him in every way shape or form. Give yourself space. Stay outta places he goes and don’t let yourself even speak to him. File for custody of your kids and start building a life. It’s hard I’m not gonna lie. My ex was the same way and he knew how to get me to come back. I had to fight my own feelings and make sure I had no contact for awhile. In time you process everything and the love fades. You’ll find happiness in your own life without that whole ordeal. If you need an ear hit me up hun. Best of luck

1 Like

You won’t leave until you’ve had enough. I got out of a toxic relationship a year ago and I remember the day I left, I loved this man with all my being but that day it broke me. I remember the hurt I felt forcing myself to let go completely and know that I deserved better. You will know when you’ve had enough. You’ll know when you’ve chosen yourself. It’s you, no amount of words or advice someone gives you will make you stop, it’s got to be you.

6 Likes

This sounds identical to my story. My now ex husband is the exact same. We were high school sweethearts together 15 years, 3 beautiful children. I would leave and then eventually return after months or a year. But everytime I did, I got stronger and stronger. Eventually he took his addiction to an unexcusable level and I divorced in 2019. It was a very tough decision on my heart but i had to do what was best for me and my kids. Hopefully you gave a good support system, I did, and it helped so much. Never an easy decision but from my experience he won’t change my ex husband and I are on good terms now. However, it has become normal that when he’s sober we see him, he’s an amazing involved father, then he ghosts us and disappears for months qt a time while on a bender. That’s our life but we take the good times as we can. Praying for you and your babies and I’m always here to talk if you need someone with a similar story!

1 Like

A narcissist isn’t going to give up their supply until they feel like it. I was married to one for 17 yrs. Therapy is an absolute must. Don’t waste another second of your life on him. Education for yourself on what narcissists behaviors are and what they do, when they do it, their strategies etc that will open your eyes to see the process you’re a part of and perhaps that will be the switch your brain needs to finally choose yourself. Relationship with a narc is a life sentence of misery.

1 Like

Think of Ur kids U r teaching them it’s ok behaviour, it all comes down to mind n will power, I only got out 12 months ago, I tell ya I feel free now

1 Like

My kids r normal happy kids now too

Think about your kids and the destruction it has caused them and is causing them and will cause them in the future to relive. Its a cycle that you want to destroy now before it destroys your entire foundation. Take it from a mom who’s foundation is destroyed and kids lost to your abuser. Its the most horrific display of a cursed nightmare burned into you as your life. Take it from someone who was abused and couldn’t leave and allowed false fear of the extreme abuse and hold to make me disillusioned that he was more stronger than what I should have done repeated cop calling every time I should have turned around. I thought I was protecting my kids but he had so much power that it didn’t matter how many times we got away here he always came regardless. And even worse my entire family was narcissistic just as well… thats why he perfectly fit with my family and how I became such easy pray and then my children.They are masterminds and its a dangerous, dangerous motherfking world wind. You lose everything you HAVE EVER LOVED. I PROMISE YOU THAT. I wish I would have been utterly informed instead of learning on my own. It ruined so many lives a moment too late. Due to the fact that i had life long been surrounded by narcissists growning up love deficit and thrown out in to the world naive and unloved it was a quick disaster… thats how they play you so easily… you aren’t use to love and thats what they play you on they show you all the love in the world until the moment they hsve you wrapped then its a living gd nightmare. No gd lie sis. Runnnnnn

1 Like

Its called a psycho therapist. Im currently liking ross rosenburg somewhat the best I have come across so far. On YouTube. Go to his actual channel. He’s got tons of videos

Not only save yourself but above all save your kids and be thankful you are only 6 yrs in. Imagine 20. And if he has been physical and its only been once expect many more once you get too out of line. That’s their way of you not speaking up and standing your ground bc they will best you and yours into the ground. Thats how they put the fear of God in you and break you down simultaneously from anything you ever once were. And your babies. Its seriously dangerous and horrifically psychological and the very worst abuse of all. Gaslighting manipulating making you question yourself your reality and who you truly are vs how they will engrain you to forever see yourself. Its some brain damaging shit sis

get your finances together, get a home sorted for you and your children and never look back. That kind of toxic never changes x

2 Likes

It’s a cycle of abuse. The physical abuse will progressively get worse. If you don’t find a way to get yourself completely out you or your children will eventually end up hurt or dead. No one can do this for you. You have to do it on your own. You need to get some type of counseling for domestic violence to open your eyes beyond the manipulation. You need to realize that you are not crazy and you are more than enough without him. I know it’s hard but you can do this :heart:

1 Like

My therapist made me not have contact with him for 30 days no matter what. It worked.

2 Likes

Pack your shit and dont look back. He was an alcoholic and he was verbal and mentally abusive. I packed my stuff when he was gone for work and never looked back, deleted his number and everything. I know it’s not thay easy but once you realize your worth and realize you and your kids deserve better, you’ll leave. You’ll leave when you’ve had enough. And who cares if you hurt him!

1 Like

You have to be done, only you can make the decision to be done,
Think of what you’re demonstrating to you’re children what you’re showing them to accept or become, want better for yourself and them…
Easier said than done but you’ve got this x :heart:

1 Like

Join a group with others in your same situation for advice support friendship and for therapeutic reasons. Join for the sake of your children who deserve a better healthier situation. You will then learn you are someone of value and purpose on your own. You don’t need another person to have self worth and live life on your terms. You need to learn why you are co-dependent and how to break the cycle and feel the happiness that will follow. Alleviate your torment now. Start now. You only have this one life…live and love it now!

The fact the your babies are seeing everything and are being raised to think that stuff like that is acceptable is enough for me…

2 Likes

This situation is not all about YOU! You will continue to get what YOU allow! I’m not so sure he has power over because you definitely know what you are doing. Bottom line YOU are putting your children through hell that they dont deserve. YOU can do something about it! It’s not a game… if you have a son he is learning everyday by example how to treat a woman…if you have a daughter you are setting her up for physical and emotional abuse by your example of excepting this lifestyle! Get it together or he may end up with custody. Stay away…get help through whatever means you can! Nobody…no relationship…no sex is worth the damage to you kids.

You have to quit him cold turkey. Abusive relationships form an addiction in your brain. You literally have to mentally withdrawal from this person which you can’t do if you still have contact. Go to court, get a custody agreement, and don’t talk to him unless it’s in court. You deserve a genuine love. As someone whose been there, you need to leave. You will find better. It took me a long time but I left my abuser and now I have a man who treats me and my daughters fantastically.

1 Like

You need to grow up put your kids first and stop being selfish you know what’s right you said it ypurself

Trauma bonded. Please educate yourself. The more knowledge you know & with counseling you can finally get away for good.

7 Likes

Therapy and think about what your kids are seeing.

It gets worse especially with kids, you do not want your kids to look at that and think it’s normal. It’s okay to love someone so completely that it feels like it consumes you, it’s not okay to use that “love” as an excuse to be shitty to others or take abuse, love is not abuse, love is not manipulative, and even if he is an addict that is not an excuse for him to behave the way he does. Loving someone doesn’t mean staying for the bad toxic behavior, that’s not what in sickness and in health means, loving someone is knowing you will not do things to spite them but know you have to do things to better you. Good luck!

“To all the girls who are in a hurry to have a boyfriend or get married, a piece of Biblical advice: " Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz.” While you are waiting on YOUR Boaz, don’t settle for any of his relatives; Broke-az, Po-az, Lyin-az, Cheating-az, Dumb-az, Drunk-az, Cheap-az, Lockedup-az, , Goodfornothing-az, Lazy-az, and especially his third cousin Beatinyo-az. Wait on your Boaz and make sure he respects Yoaz…"

:point_up_2:A little lighthearted advice. But seriously…You need to leave, you don’t deserve that and it’s damaging your kids. AND seriously damaging you. Get out. If you need help getting out, and sounds like you are going to, both physically and mentally, call this number: 800-656-4673. It’s the RAIIN hotline. You can call that number from anywhere in the country and they will help you. You need to leave. It won’t be an easy road but you will make it and be so much better of. Show your babies how truly strong you are. Don’t wait. Call that number. :heart::pray:

I might tick people off but you need some blunt truth. Yea your brainwashed and abused but obviously your not stupid. You just want to act that way and make excuses for your behavior now. Your keeping your kids in an unhealthy environment because you “love” this man. At this point you are responsible for what they endure because you obviously have not had enough. You don’t want to do what it takes to take care of your kids by yourself without any man around. It’s hard but there are resources for women who really want to escape abuse situations. You can continue to be a victim or you can get help and be a successful survivor and be an example to your kids of the type of person they should avoid and learn the strength they really need to stay out of situation you are in. I’ve been there and the longer you take the harder your making things. It’s going to end up you losing your life or your kids because of it.

4 Likes