How to let my husband adopt my child?

My son's Biological father recently passed. This has me thinking about what would happen to him if something happens to me. My husband has. Expressed interest in adopting my son as he has been in his life since 5 months old. I live in Georgia with my son and husband for 2 years and my son's father was from Wisconsin where my son was born and court order was. Where do I start. Is their cheaper ways? Any tips or advice.
14 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to let my husband adopt my child?

I don’t recommended. He had a father and you may be able to get benefits for him. If you have family he would go to them. I don’t think you have been married long enough to trust it but it’s up to u.

18 Likes

I agree, I wouldn’t jump the gun on an adoption. He had a father. Let him receive benefits he’s entitled too. However, since the bio father passed, you can change his name and hyphenate it

9 Likes

Personally I wouldn’t Just Yet. he Just lost his father its very FRESH! I dont think u have been Married long enough Personally

2 Likes

:point_up:t2::point_up:t2::point_up:t2::point_up:t2: speaking the truth ladies

If he can get SS benefits I would maybe look into changing his name but not adopting that can add up over time and maybe pay for part of college

4 Likes

We lost my sons father 5 yrs ago. I’m now remarried and my son and husband get along great and he provides for him just as he did his own child. I’ve had thoughts of talking about hubby adopting my son, but just as others have mentioned you should be able to receive survivors benefits for him. Even if you don’t need the money to pay bills, put it aside for college! In this day and age our kiddos are gonna need all the help they can get. Good luck mama! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

3 Likes

My mom got death benefits for us from our dad death. Can you not get that for your child? It may be helpful. But if the child is adopted you forfeit those benefits. If you don’t need the money , it could still be saved up for your child later. Wait to see when your child is old enough if your child would like a name change. I mean the guy is still his step father. Not much changes anything from your child’s prospective. Also yhere are will and protocol you could put in place I something were to happen to you that doesn’t involve the need for adoption… My condolences to your family on your loss.

You can draw up a guardianship document to include in your will. Rocket Lawyer is one affordable option for this but there are numerous other legitimate legal services that allow you to create a will with guardianship. Every adult needs a will so if you don’t have one now is the time to create one.

1 Like

He doesn’t have to be adopted by your husband in order for you to make a plan for you child. If you want/plan on collecting survivors benefits, don’t go through with the adoption. You can have a will drawn up that states who gets guardianship if something happens to you. Just make sure you do it through a lawyer and make it iron clad so no one can contest it and win if they wanted to.

5 Likes

So sorry to hear ur son loss his dad…
Yet so Sweet your ur New husband wants to adopt ur son as his own…
My God bless u all…:sparkling_heart:

1 Like

I have a step daughter (21 years now) and we decided that I would not legally adopt her because that would forfeit her social security benefits.
Make a will about guardianship.
If you decide to change his last name I would definitely hyphenate it. There is no reason his dad should be cut out just because he passed, IMO

1 Like

Sorry for your sons loss. This is a very touchy subject. I understand everyone’s POV completely about survivors benefits, but everyone is also speaking from the assumption that the biological father was involved in your sons life. If he wasn’t involved in any capacity and you already didn’t have financial or familiar support from him I don’t see the issue. Now is it insensitive to try and work it all up tonight? Yeah… I’d let a period pass. But if your son is willing to step up and be the father he is regardless of what may ever come between you to (God forbid) then I would go for it.

1 Like

You should wait a little bit before rushing into adoption I’m sorry for your loss and I understand why you wanna do it but you haven’t been married long also was your son’s father part of his life is his family part of your son’s life

1 Like

Was the bio father involved with your son at all?? That would be the biggest thing. If he totally ignored his son then I would proceed with the adoption. How old is your son - have you talked to him about this (if he is old enough to understand)?

This is a matter to speak with an attorney about, rather than Facebook. My son’s father died. In the event the father was somewhat involved(to say the least), the court may not allow adoption to take place. The deceased parent and their family doesn’t just disappear from the past. Now that the parent is deceased, the grandparents have a legal right to file for visitation.

You can do a will to determine where your son would go if something ever happened to you.

My husband passed away unexpectedly two years ago. It really made me think about “what if” when it came to our children. My will has detailed instructions for temporary care until the permanent plan can be put in place.

Look into survival benefits for your son. Did he know his dad? Would it hurt him mentally? My daughter went thru this , my grandson misses his dad everyday , when her marriage went south step-dad treated him differently, alot to think about, your choice. For sons sake choose wisely.

I’ve heard you don’t lose SS if husband adopts him. I’d look into it and call the social security office to ask.

Everyone mentioning about the benefits from his bio dad. Are kids not eligible for the benefits if he were to get adopted by your husband? Following.

Your child can draw survivers benitfits until he’s 18…

1 Like

I believe if your child is getting survival benefits BEFORE they are adopted they will still be able to receive them after the adoption.

1 Like

You need a lawyer.
Please stop asking FB law questions like this.
It depends on STATE laws.
Find a family lawyer. They’ll be able to help you.

1 Like

The best thing you can do is check with a lawyer that knows your local laws. There are several companies that will usually offer a free consultation and you can get all your questions answered correctly and can steer you in the right direction.

1 Like

Make a will. Put in it who you want to take care of your son if something happens to you. It is still very fresh for your son. Adoption needs to be something your son wants as well. Because if he doesn’t he might think your just trying to replace his father.

1 Like

If your son is eligible for survivor benefits I’d hold off on step parent adoption.

3 Likes

Can I just say really think about this before you have/let your son be adopted. I say this because if you happen to ever get divorced you will have to still Patent with this guy.

1 Like

Your son is who carries on his family’s name. I would wait until he’s old enough to decide for himself. Or maybe adoption, but he keeps his last name

3 Likes

You have to go to the court and apply for a step parent adoption. It will not be free just fyi it depends on the state what the cost is. You will have to do interviews with the family affairs department and then your adoption will take place at the children’s court. At least that’s what happened in my case. My husband adopted my son in May 2017.

1 Like

Is your son old enough to decide?

Yeah no. Ya hubby can still take him on after you pass without adoption but if he adopts he has all equal rights to you and harder for you in the long run if anything changes.

1 Like

I wouldn’t do that. You can have him take care of the child without adoption. I would let your son decide when/if they are old enough. That’s a huge thing to undertake.

What about survivor benefits? If your son is eligible you could be taking that chance away from your son and yourself. I would get that checked out.

I don’t think you need a lawyer for this. The father can’t contest the adoption. Just go to the court house & ask legal assist what paperwork you need to fill out.

Why dont you see how your kid is feeling first about his dad passing away before you make any big moves so it doesnt spook him or make him uncomfortable. There is benefits for kids who has a parent that passed

Check with SS office first. He will be able to recieve survivor benefits.