How to lose weight?

I used to struggle with eating disorders. Very badly. Would never allow myself to get past a certain weight and size. In recent years I’ve become “disabled” so I’m much less active and have surpassed my ideal weight. I diet. I try to exercise when I can. But it doesn’t work. I tried to accept the weight gain because nobody else made a deal of it. Well now it’s being pointed out to me. I’m 40 lbs heavier than I like to be. But after four kids, 38 years of being a woman, and not being able to be physically active as I want to be… There it is. Has anyone had success with anything that might help me lose this 40?