Hello,
Rant: My son is almost 10mos old and I’m a little over whelmed right now with my anxiety. I’ve been having a problem with my babys father. Am I wrong for wanting him to help out more around the house? We both work full time and I feel like Im doing a lot more then him and its stressing me out. He does help by getting up with our son in the mornings. I also get up as well to pump breast milk. He feds him and changes his diapers too. But he doesn’t really help with anything else. Like bathing or grooming(trimming his nail, cleaning his ears etc.) Im also the only one doing our sons laundry(washing, folding etc.) I clean up around the house, cook, do the dishes and take out the trash sweeping and mopping etc. Sweeping is an everyday thing because we have a dog that sheds like crazy and I don’t want our son covered in dog hair while he crawls around. He is supposed to do the yard work but slacks on doing it all the time. Im struggling on lactation right now and try to fed our son baby food to help space out bottle feds but he doesn’t help with that. Everytime he hears our son cry he goes straight to making a bottle instead of trying food to help me out. Im pumping all the time and still cant keep up. I believe our son is having a growth spurt right now. I don’t what to supplement but im afraid I’ll have to soon. I don’t even have any milk saved up for the babysitter because he is using it while at home. Which is adding to the stress. I pump what i can at work but its hard to due to me being needed for customer service and feel i have to be on the sales floor all the time and hardly get people to cover for me so i can pump. I don’t know what to do. Any advise is much needed. Please and thank you!
Welcome to mother hood.The more you ask him,the less he will do.
Most dads dont do baths theu get insecure about it mama , but my hubby has always helped around the house and things
No! You need to have a serious talk with him b4 its too late:expressionless:
,remember parenting is also about teamwork!
he cant be doing minor things as if he’s doing you a favour!
if he doesnt understand that you have to share chores,leave everythin(cooking n dishes n ironing ) n focus on the baby just for him to get the point that you cant do it all on your own:neutral_face: Aouwa,woman? When do u rest:thinking:
My bf won’t do stuff usually unless I ask him, but anything I ask him to do he does it
At the end of the day fed is best. Is it really worth this much stress to make it to a year when he’s already 10 months? Formula is not the end of the world. I make my husband a list of things I need help with, it works well for us. I definitely outdo my husband in the house chores dept too, but I think too many marriages fail because of people worrying about who’s doing more. What is he doing while you’re doing chores? Is he watching tv or helping in other ways such as playing with the kids or taking care of the dog. Those things may not be as significant to you but they may be to him and are still important.
Ummm. I’m a full time SAHM to 5 and dad is full time worker… But he does everything but cooking because he sucks at cooking lol… But cleaning, he does more than me bc of my back always hurting… He bathes and grroms he kids, feeds them, runs errands. As it should be not 60/40 or 50/50 but 100/100! You need to speak up and communicate because everyone deserves a 100/100 relationship… As for your milk supply, raw oats, lactation cookies help a lot and tea!
my husband and I both work full time…he does have a more strenuous job…11 to 12 hour shifts…I have my 8 hour shifts BUT I work somewhere where mentally its draining. I’m also pregnant with our second daughter and our little one is 10 months so shes EVERYWHERE! I go to work, come home, take care of the baby (bathing, feeding, washing bottles) then tend to myself (bathing, eating) then tend to my older kids…all in one evening. I dont get off until 5 sometimes 6 so I’m not home until 530 or 630 at times. Now, with that being said, we have argued many times who job is more tough, who does more , etc… I think it’s really opened our eyes on how much we both EQUALLY do for one another and for our kids. He does change her diapers, makes her bottles, even has bathed her, just so I can sleep or rest. He does laundry when he can, granted he doesnt fold and put away but Idc. I understand you are frusturated, but in reality, men ALWAYS think they work so much harder when we really know we take more of the load than they do. Just talk to him. See if he can help out just a little more.
Every one of you that has a guy that helps out around the house - you are very lucky!
My son is 8 months and I’m in a very similar situation. I hope it gets easier for you for the sake of your baby and sanity. Sorry I don’t have any positive words. Just wanted to wish you well and for you to know that you’re not alone.
Make a list of chores you need done daily by him. Tell him he needs to feed his son. I’m so sick of people telling mother’s or women to deal with it because they’re men. He is your partner. You work just as he does. Home life needs to be 50/50 or you will burn out and then he will be doing 100% whilst you recover. Don’t put up with it…change it. Tell him you won’t stick around if he’s just going to leave you to it. He’s a grown ass man.
You will make it really you will