I’ve been with my partner for about a year now; I recently found out I’m pregnant. Over the past few weeks, I had been doubting some things he was saying. Other people were saying different and even sending me proof. Eventually, I confronted him about lying to me about MAJOR things, like what’s going on with his kids from a prev relationship, being sick, looking for work, money, etc. Now he didn’t initially fess up; at first; he tried to turn it back on me for calling him a liar. Eventually, he came clean about some things. He says now he’s honest about everything. But I am having trouble believing him. I guess my question is, if someone comes clean about lying through your whole relationship, can you ever move past that? Or is it best to just move on? - we didn’t plan to get pregnant just yet, and I dont want to do this alone.
You’re dating my ex. RUN.
Oh honey sounds like my ex, RUN and now if he has been lying the whole time there is no telling what u don’t know it doesn’t get better and don’t have a baby in that environment it teaches unhealthy examples just trust me there
If you take the baby out of the picture, would you stay? If not then don’t stay because of it, kids can tell when you’re unhappy and you just set an example of what they’re willing to accept in a relationship.
NOPE run now he didn’t fess up until confronted he will do it again
Why was he lying? When we got together i found out my man had lied a little at first but I figured out why and i was able to get over it
Run. You will be better on ur own .
So you would stay with someone that has lied to you for your whole relationship so your kid will have both parents? No No No. think about the example you are setting for your child. That it’s okay to stay with someone who lies and does Lord know what else and you just let him for the sake of your family. you and your baby will be much happier without him. Not saying he can’t be there as a dad but as a boyfriend/husband just no.
Sounds like my BD. I’d run
Never stay with somebody just because you have a baby together…
I stayed with my lying ex for the sake of our child and I wish I had just left when I was pregnant. It was a huge waste of a relationship. It will just get worse. Leave now and enjoy your baby without that added stress.
Run and don’t look back your not going that way!
Dump his ass just like I’m dumping my cheating lying wife the bitch has been having a affair for 4 years on me and I just found out!
Go by his actions not what he says u will know when u had enough
Leave quick and don’t look back. You and baby will be fine.
I don’t think I could stay. He didn’t tell you the truth because he felt guilty and wanted to make it right, he told the truth because he got caught. There’s a big difference. I think if he messed up, took responsibility and admitted his mistakes there might be a chance but I doubt you’ll ever be able to trust him again.
A liar will 99.9% of the time ,keep on lying.
Staying in a relationship just for the kids when there is problems is the worse thing you can do. If you feel like you can’t get past his lying then please leave. I was in a marriage for 12 yrs we both wasn’t happy and stayed together because we had kids. That was a mistake on both of our parts and in the end it’s the kids who suffer it’s not worth it
Never and I mean NEVER stay with someone because you have or are going to have a child with them. Everyone deserves to be happy and staying with him will not end in happiness.
Get out now because it will never end the lying will continue but the choice is on you what you wanna do but you don’t have to stay because of child that’s the worst thing to do because you won’t be happy and neither will the child
GIRL LISTEN… PLEASE!
I am a single mama to 3 kids, ages 2,3,and 9. I started dating a guy at the very beginning of December and got pregnant at the end of December (I know, FAST huh?) …fast forward to now… I found out he literally lied to me about everything. Including serving in the military, having a vasectomy, where he lived at when we were talking (he actually lived w his kids mother) and not his dad like he said, and SOOOOO many other things. I’m now almost 5 months pregnant and we haven’t spoken in weeks. I had to break up with him. I CANNOT be with a liar!! I even tried to work it out once I found out he lied, but I just couldn’t. Good luck, but I promise they won’t change! Especially lying about little stuff or about a lot of stuff.
Run honey, run and never look back. Praying for you .
Get out now and cut ties before you find out he has gone through all your money, put your name on huge debts, can’t find a job because he “forgot” to tell you he was a felon, steals and/or sells all your stuff, or you find he has two more baby mamas with families he is not supporting.
He has proven untrustworthy with no remorse other than being sorry you found out. I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him, and be sure you spell everything out when it comes to your child.
I’m guessing he’ll be happy to have you take sole custody, and if so, don’t fall for his wanting to take the kid once or twice only to show off to a new girlfriend. Specify who’s allowed to be home with him if he does want partial custody, or court supervised visits only. If getting child support out of him if he’s a deadbeat is like getting blood from a rock, cut your losses, have him sign over his rights and be done with him forever after. Think twice about putting his name on the birth certificate. The women on here can advise you better than I can about how this affects your rights.
You will always be wondering, guessing, suspecting. Trust is the hardest thing to get back after it is broken. Why would he risk losing you, by lying, if he truly loved you? Why lie?
Go with your gut.me and my SO have been together for 2and half years and have an 8m old daughter ,eventually after a couple of months I just knew exactly when he would lie and I could feel it in my gut and so I let him keep on til he cheated emotionally through his phone ,I stopped it right then and told him I will leave and he will never see me,I told him if he wants to lie to his mama and his dad and the man in the moon find but do not ever lie to me again, then we ended up pregnant right after and it wasn’t a full year of being together yet at that point,baby is here and now after all this time for the first time since I had caught him lying about porn last week in fact ,yes porn but he knows I don’t like it and we had an agreement from the beginning we wouldn’t watch it unless it was together to learn new positions bc we have our own homemade stuff and I don’t like to learn by surprise meaning him watching it behind my back ,anyways so I have a secret way of mine that he don’t know about to check his history so I know up til last week he hasn’t been watching it then out of no where BAM,i confronted him and he lied to my face 2 times but my gut told me he is lying and I did again and he admitted it,now I am back to the last time he lied to me and having to learn how to trust him all over again,he knows now after this there will be 0 chances of it happens again ,either you will have to learn how to do that and forgive and forget or leave .I got lucky and learned how discover when he lies at the beginning and I’m sorry you only have learned already a year in but you know what you can and or want to put up with ,you will either have to put your foot down and set ground rules and if you or him break them then leave or just leave but don’t stay with him just bc you don’t want to do it alone or use the baby as an excuse ,I know it is hard but you have to put yourself and this baby first from now on,I hope you have a safe and healthy pregnancy labor and delivery and you get this figured out ! If you need to you can PM me to talk .
The fact he turned it on you says alot! Hes full of shit and way to secretive you can do better dont let him gaslight you anymore
The best prospector of future behavior is past behavior
Pregnant or not
Go with your gut. It’s better to be a single mom than to be constantly second guessing, questioning, feeling crazy when they deny deny deny etc.
Run. That’s a character flaw.
You will never trust him his because of lying…ever. If you aren’t happy , they aren’t either. What example are you teaching your child staying in a unhealthy relationship,? You know the answer,
Trust is the foundation of the relationship. If you don’t have trust, it’s not real.
Get out and RUN don’t put him on the birth certificate and do everything yourself! I learned the hard way and stayed and all he did was kept lying to me!!! So bad that I had stayed even though he was sleeping with me and then my mom and going back and forth! It got really bad until I had to mentally step away and then I left permanently otherwise it would have kept going on! Looking back now I don’t know why I just didn’t leave!!
I would not consider what he did as coming clean first of all. You had to back him into a corner and even with proof he denied. (The fact that he tried to turn it on you is also a huge red flag)
From experience (and I’m sure many others can say the same) he probably just told you enough truth to get you off of his back. He will likely never be truthful.
I know you don’t want to do this alone but the alternative is to always be unsure and anxious at best- or lied to and manipulated (about god knows what) constantly.
You can do it on your own or you can be with a liar. Those are your two choices and you are the only one that can make that choice. However, from personal experience, if they’re a liar, they’re a liar. Just like if they’re a cheater, they’re a cheater. If your relationship is still new, which after only a year, it’s new, and they’re lying about shit, it’s not gonna stop.
It never ends. The lies never end, they just get better at hiding them and when they try to lie when you have factual proof right in front of them, it just shows they’ll continue to lie to keep you around. Yeah people can change, but you’re always left wondering. If he knows you’ll keep forgiving him, he will never stop. Personally I’d be gone before that baby is born, otherwise it’s that much harder. None of us WANT to do it on our own, but 9 times out of 10 we KILL it raising these beautiful humans alone, even though it sucks, its lonely and exhausting. It’s also very rewarding. It may not feel like it now but it does and will get better. Your stronger than you think mama.
If you feel in your heart you want to try again, do it. The relationship I am in has had ups and downs, I’ve caught him in lies and he has had issues talking inappropriately to other women. It was a painful situation and we separated for a while, but then we both did counseling, couples counseling, synced phones together so we would have access to everything and really put the work jn. His family life growing up was hard and infidelity and trust issues were all he ever saw as a role model. We are now having our second baby together and completely in love, and I’m so glad we put that work in. Not all men turn out to be good guys but not all are bad either, if you’re both willing to work together it might just be worth a shot. Just never forget your worth, stay strong for yourself
It takes time to rebuild trust and sometimes they will continue to lie. There are no guarantees.
What you want and what is are 2 different things.
A baby never helps a struggling relationship
Get. The. Hell. Out. Once a liar always a liar. It’s a get out of trouble response and he’ll keep doing it. The baby won’t change things you’ll just have two children. Trust me, even with him you’ll still be doing it alone and have a man child to boot. Do yourself a favor and get out now.
It is not likely he will change. Are you prepared to live with a liar? Why did he lie? To make himself sound better? You are the only one who can decide if you can stand living with someone who lies to you continuously.
My father once said to me… “A liar will never tell you they’re lying.”
It depends on you.
In my situation I said firmly several times do not lie to me because I will never forget.
He lied about a few things to do with exs I found out once because I already knew the answer before I asked the question and the second time because he told me the truth.
Number 1 totally on him at the beginning but he took steps to rectify it, number 2 was a joint account of what happened with his ex.
I chose to move on and he has told another white lie too, its hard I’m not going to lie and I’m marrying him soon but I feel we’ve moved passed that now.
You’ll never have a successful long term relationship without alot of components one of them is forgiveness. None of us are perfect.
Most people say if you don’t trust him leave but what I ask myself is do I trust me?
Tim fast. Don’t marry him.