How to open up to my boyfriend? Our culture is different than yours

My question about is that we live in another culture not in west, sorry english is not my first language… we are not open to our boyfriend/ husbands openly like you peoples are… my question is that my boyfriend is not long lasting he finishes too early… i cant get pleasure i feel that if i will talk to him about this his ego will hurt and might our relation ends. so i am afraid of it what is the best way to convey this message silently being telling him… need your opinion. we are not old we both under 30

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to open up to my boyfriend? Our culture is different than yours

I think if he loves you he wants to please you too. I’m American but it is still hard and embarrassing to speak about sex but you can tell him in a loving way. It should bring you both closer. And ask him if there’s something he would like it will soften his ego.

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I don’t now what culture you have so, it’s hard to say but, I would tell him that you’d like to enjoy slower encounters with more foreplay. You teach him how to please you.

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If this is about intimacy and developing a relationship then there must be words. This isnt about you just satisfying him and he cant read your mind. If you dont speak he has no chance to please you and it’s a disappointment for both of you. It’s dishonesty,really. Telling your lover what brings you pleasure implies trust,honesty and intimacy. Yes,oeople can be very attracted but it takes two to learn how to make live to each other. This is going to be so empowering for you.hugs

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It’s hard to give advice without knowing your culture background.

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Sit on his face and say “my turn” might open up communication a bit easier

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Teach him how to please you, get him involved in foreplay before sex then do it.
Its hard for many men to hear it no matter their culture. But the more honest you are the more you guys will find enjoyment in it.
Saying it bluntly will hurt his ego no doubt, but drop hints or just start playing with yourself and ask him to help you then jump on him for a round. Sometimes the simplest of hints can get through more than words.

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You need to sit him down and talk to him about it , there maybe something he made need to help him with his problem . Try spicing it up for him. But make sure you tell him you love him. So he doesn’t think you’re putting him down. Ask him if you can talk to him about a problem. I had that problem year’s ago with a guy I was living with. I went out on him and lots the best man you could ever have . He was one of a kind .I went the wrong way of handling it. Do not go that way . You need to let him no oh . You both can work it out together

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A big part is how does sex play a part in your culture, as I know it is different in many places. I.e you’re there to please your husband not the other way round. In those situations it can be very tricky because it’s installed in them usually from quiet a young age that their needs come first. Best thing i can suggest is hinting the more he turns you on the better the experience will be for him also - like explain the more effort he puts in the more you want to give back.

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Communicate during the act. Expect him to work towards your pleasure as well. If he doesn’t try after communicating and setting expectation of a balanced sexual experience toss him out with the trash.

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I’m American, but what worked for me was being honest front he start and getting interested in both sides, and getting him interested too. I asked him what he liked or didnt like, what he would want to try in the future. I said the same things for me. I made it clear that it was about learning for the other, and not about shaming the person who didnt “succeed” so to speak.

Long story short: start asking about his experiences and sharing yours. Ask to play around. Let him know that you dont think it’s that hes bad, just that he doesnt know. Good luck :slight_smile:

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tell him you enjoy it so you want it to last longer… so you can enjoy it longer

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Personally, given the cultural limitations you talk about. I wouldn’t talk to him about what is not working… Instead who him what you want. Maybe even say, during the act…thats amazing…dk this… Or when you are talking about intimate things tell him you would like to try this or that. There are multiple ways of being honest. It doesn’t always require the in your face delivery. Good luck hon.

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Hard to say… without knowing which culture, it is difficult to address but I’d suggest asking someone you trust in your culture who can give you advice that will be effective?

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If you’re too afraid to tell him he’s disappointing I’d just buy the vibrator now :woman_shrugging:

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Tell him to go down on your first that way you get yours before his quick pump and you all will be both satisfied

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Umhhhhh,If u won’t tell him whatever advice u get is a waste of time lol

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Not trying to be rude, but, if you’re worried that talking to him about this night end your relationship, then you really need to do some soul searching

…get a new boyfriend??? move to a non-controlling country. be free and live without a man. It is heart breaking to even think you have to make a decision like this. You are a human and deserve just as much love and attention and affection as he does. I hope you find your way!!

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I say, do it this way. If you can initiate sex in your culture then, Pick a night when you are craving for his touch. If you are able to get him alone before bed, kiss him romantically and then whisper these exact words softly in his ear “I want you to passionately fuck me for a long time tonight, Make love to me”. Don’t mention his short cummings at all. Give him an opportunity to rise to your gentle challenge/approach. He may get really turned on and might actually last longer than usual. Sorry for the frank language but I hope this helps you love!

You can’t rely on your boyfriend to pleasure you. You have to learn to pleasure yourself. You’ll know what you like better than him any day.

Does he understand (or care) about a womand pleasure and satisfaction?
Could you leave a book or magazine somewhere (the batheoom) that he could see and read.

Write a letter to him if you are unable to talk to him. Tell him you love him etc and too shy to talk in person. Ask him to pleasure you first before finishing himself. Good luck. X

Just tell him its a relationship issue and you should be able to talk about it like adults. Like sit down talk listen and understand.

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Well he needs to read more slowly. Maybe you read smaller books.

Buy the book Kama Sutra, tell him you want to try some of the positions, maybe that will get him educated…

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In some Eastern cultures the males are quite demanding and expect certain things of their women. I hope you are in a position to speak your mind without being ‘put in your place’. Perhaps you can teach what makes you feel good with some hands on instructions before you have intercourse. If he’s open it tell him when X feels good, I love when you do Y, more please while SLOWLY using your hands on him. Make it both ways

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Well as what culture hasn’t been mentioned. It could be a tricky subject. Some cultures don’t think women should be pleased. And her broaching the subject could end badly. I’m not sure. Ask for more foreplay and slower?? Is it worth being with him if your scared to say anything?? Wait to get married instead. Not enough information really.

I used to teach a Sex Ed class in college. There is medical help for that. He also needs to spend more time in foreplay working on you before intercourses. Should not hurt his ego.

You start controlling the lovemaking…he does not get to enter you I til you have orgasmed at least once or twice. Then it is his turn…

If he is day like Muslim decent get used to it.

Just say it coz thats the truth
Both of you will adjust later on

Try being open and honest with one another and if he gets his feelings hurt apologize and explain you didnt mean to hurt his feelings but wanted to be honest so both of you could enjoy one another more and have a better relationship. Not make it worse

TELL HIM!!! If you don’t tell men what you want then they think you’re okay. It’s a difficult conversation, but sex should be pleasurable for both. One sided doesn’t work

You’ve got a bigger problem if you can’t talk to him about important issues to you, because of his ego.

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Do you have amazon in your country? Cause a plug doesn’t finish until you do, just sayin🤷🏼‍♀️

Slip him some Viagra you’ll be right :ok_hand:

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You gotta get on top :joy:

Get on top and ride him!!!

When he stops having sex to please himself and focuses his efforts on pleasing you, he will still achieve his goal, so to speak, while having already achieved yours. The problem is, we have sex to please ourselves. :man_shrugging:t2::sweat_smile:

Communication is key, so show him

Be on top to control speed

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It’s a touchy subject for dudes if they cum too quickly but maybe you can tell him to go down on you until you get your orgasm. You give head in the east i assume. Tell him to eat your meat first.
You’re welcome.

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Can you pleasure yourself? It helps to be pleasured by another if you know what you like yourself and then can guide him to get you there. Comfort his ego, then talk to him! Tell him you are having trouble! This will bring you closer! And that will heighten pleasure too! :heart:

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Setting the stage can help slow a man down. Candles, the right type of music . For me, Slow hand and lay lady lay, blues with a lot of sax. Yours and his might be different for example Classical, to hard rock. Figure out the music. Take a candlelight bath and invite him in. Wear something that makes you feel beautiful. As the heat intensifies gently encourage the man of your dreams to caress every inch of you and show him by you doing the same for him. Let him know when you reach the point of needing him inside. Partners do want to know they have pleased each other and no one is a mind reader. Your body can help you communicate your needs and your words in the right context will take you both over the top.

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Get a vibrator. Thank me later. :wink:

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Girl buy you the rose sex toy and call it a day hes to old to be teaching

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When you think hes gna finish …push him off you. Then in time he will ask you why n tell him its not fair to you.that hes completes the feeling n you dont get to finish. If hes unselfish he will listen . N tell him its worth your pleasure to him .once he feels how good n warm your juice is he will always try for you to finish first. Believe me. I like the woman to finish first because it brings much much more joy for both people.

Nah…take control. As you go thru the bringing of loving, gentle kisses, then pin his arms down and take it to another level, In saying, when this is comfortable for you, don’t have to be strait away, it’s finding the right time you feel able and him not knowing it’s coming.

Tell to slow down a little, work on the merchandise from head to toe …. When he’d know it’s time to rock your world but remember be careful what you wish for

You need to sit down with him. Maybe tell him how much u enjoy foreplay and ask what he likes and how he likes to be satisfied x

Drop hints and tell him what you like, foreplay before hand to help you along quicker for full intercourse may help also

Have u thought about watching porn together and then dropping some major hints like “ see that? I wanna do some of that”. “Oh look; he’s got a big shilanka. Her mambas are ready too. Perhaps we should copy them my sweet hummus hummus” :joy:

Switch positions on him when you feel he’s near, it may slow him down if you know what I mean.

Maybe try showing him how you like being touched. Use his hands.

So how about you get on top or take charge that way you can finish. If he tries to finish early just stop and switch positions. That will help him last longer and your not hurting his ego.

This is where certain cultural beliefs start to anger me… If your religion and culture can’t teach you open communication, comprehension and understanding then why bother with it at all… It’s why I build my own belief system… one that will not allow me to suffered because of some staunch rules written by men…

You have to come at it from another angle.
Suggest that you try something new, introduce a toy for you maybe, and make it about YOU. Say something like, “I’d really like to try this, I think it would be fun.”

The trick is to not point out his “flaw” but make suggestions that will help the situation indirectly and make it seem like you’re doing these things to make the whole experience more fun and exciting.

Communication is key 1st just talk with him he will understand I promise

One answer. Vibrator :wink:

Bring in a toy.

Watch porn.

Talk to him.Tell him you desire him more…

Omg this has to be a joke to stupid talk to a professional :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Tie a band around his nuts lmfaooooo

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