How to parent a child with ADHD?

I have a six-year-old son who was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago; he is taking his meds and does fabulous at school, which was our main concern with his behavior and attention. But now, out of the blue, since school has let out, his behavior has gotten out of control at home. He back talks, refuse to listen and acts like he doesn’t understand a blasted thing we are saying. His mouth aggravates the snot out of me; he says things like “I can cause I want to,” “I don’t have to,” “because I say so,” “ I don’t have to,” and etc.…… we ground him, spank him, take shit away, and he just seems like he doesn’t grasp the concept, and my nerves can’t take it anymore. Please help a momma out here; what am I missing or doing wrong?

74 Likes

Rewards for good behaviour work a lot better for kids with ADHD, as well as good routine. For chores and general taking care of themselves (brushing teeth, getting dressed, bathing etc.) Use charts. Then if he does everything on the chart each day he gets a reward (whether something bought, time doing something, an activity out of the house, movie night etc.).
Rather than taking things away, start with limited time or no time with something and he needs to earn more time. And let him know a bad attitude, or ignoring will cancel rewards (maybe a certain number of times?)
Won’t solve everything but can definitely be a good start.
It’s hard, but staying calm makes a big difference too. With our ADHD kid, if we get mad he tries to use us being mad to justify his actions. Staying calm helps them realize (usually after the fact) that their behaviour is the issue.

It will be a mix of things, some you can control and some you can’t. As previously stated, people with adhd need a routine. School holidays throws off that routine and can make us unsettled. But also, we tend to act out more when we are most comfortable. I know it isn’t the easiest thing to deal with, but it’s also a sign that your child is totally comfortable with you as there is no masking going on. For adhd rewards are definitely better than discipline. As an add child myself, being spanked just led me to think that I could hit others and it would be fine. The rewards just need to be appropriate for the task and you need to evaluate this from his perspective, not yours. An example of something from my own add perspective is I hate brushing my teeth. I still do it because I want them to be clean, but from a sensory point kids with autism and adhd tend to be more sensitive than others. Brushing my teeth was one of those things for me and so suddenly a task that seems super simple to so many people is a task that’s really difficult for me to convince myself is worth doing. So take the time to understand what tasks seem small and what tasks seem huge to your little man and come up with rewards that suit his effort accordingly rather than the effort you think things should take

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How to parent a child with ADHD?

Therapy. Change of diet. Medication if you have to.

4 Likes

I am struggling with this also… Your tight it’s very frustrating and I am trying to get my son into other activities and a program for behavior as well… but I learned keeping him busy is hard… but painting and drawing and those types of hands on crafts he does well for… After the ping effect of the medicine…

3 Likes

Maybe his meds need adjusting

1 Like

Adjust his meds. I just had to do so with my daughter.

Spank his ass! My oldest has adhd an been on meds since he was 5, he tried this type of bs but didn’t get too far. Talking ain’t gonna work if he’s already using this mind set. :woman_shrugging: my son is 16 yrs old now an the most respectful an responsible young man I know. He’s testing you to see how far he can get away with what.

He’s missing that routine

5 Likes

Behavior therapy, he needs the same routine everyday.

2 Likes

Maybe since school has let out he doesn’t have something to put that extra energy into?

2 Likes

Watch the women that gives a talk on ADHD on Tedx on YouTube.

Routine is very important for a busy body, always having something to occupy the mind. Occupational therapy could also be beneficial.

The thing is medication doesn’t make him be good. It helps him listen better have a longer attention span. They also only remember up to so long why they are in trouble time outs should only be 1 min per age so if he is 6 then 6 mins anything longer then that he will forget why you put him on a time out. Read the book 123 magic it will teach you a lot

3 Likes

My 6 year old does that too but he doesn’t have adhd… He’s just a brat acting out testing his boundaries :woman_shrugging:t2:

2 Likes

It could possibly be a change in routine. With anyone who has ADHD routine is essential, at least with the few I have supported over the years. If possible, try to continue some form of routine that he would have a school. Meal times, a few lessons and lunch. Keep him stimulated.

3 Likes

Girl, you better do something, don’t sound like no ADHD, he is disrespectful , wake him up from his trance.sorry

1 Like

They thrive on routine. Maybe sit down and discuss some activities hed like to do every day and then one or two biggerr activities twice a week. That way he gets a say in the schedule but you really get most of the say. That should prevent some of the arguments.

3 Likes

My son was diagnosed at age of 4. We had the same problems. We all went through counseling which helped us as parents as well as my son. You may have to adjust meds or switch brands. We went thru several brands until we finally found one that worked with him. The biggest thing we learned was they have to stay on a routine daily. That helped a lot.

Your son is 6 yrs old physically but probably around 4 emotionally…what worked best and still does for my ADHD-er os kicking him outside…he’s got too much pent up energy and when he can’t play it off outside, he lashes out inside the home…track, baseball, basketball, swimming, are all great ways to burn him out naturally…are you still giving him meds on break? This is actually natural part of ADHD…

2 Likes

Disruptions in routine are super hard for kiddos with adhd.
Create a set routine at home. Particularly at night and in the morning.
Give clear expectations. And give “points” when those expectations are met. Give more if he exceeds them. Let him use those points to buy privileges and rewards.

Give clear set consequences for misbehavior is just not earning points isn’t enough.
Like taking the tablet away until the next morning.

1 Like

In school it was a routine he knew what to expect and he knew change was coming being out for the summer there is no routine and nothing to focus on . Maybe work with your counselor or therapist to come up with a game plan and routine that has to be done daily so they have things to focus on

Eh… My son is 8 and we’ve been dealing with it since he was 5… his therapist recommended a reward system… not punishment… adhd and odd alot of times go hand in hand. It’s a defiance disorder… I’d do some research if I were you… it will open your eyes… kids with adhd especially have anger problems and punishment honestly means nothing to them… its frustrating momma. I know but your doing your best! :yellow_heart::yellow_heart:

1 Like

Routine, routine, routine. Give them a clear-cut idea of what to expect every single day. That’s why school works because they know what’s coming next and what’s expected of their behaviour. I live with a child who possibly has and a husband who very much has ADHD. Routines are a major factor in how our household runs day to day.

2 Likes

Explain why he needs to do the thing your asking him to do. I was diagnosed at an early age too and for me I needed a reason for things, if some one said “ do this because I said so “ I wouldn’t listen becasie I didn’t see the point in doing it and still in my mind today if some asks me to do something I will do it, but i ask what is the reasoning why we do it like that. Hope this helps

I have found that giving my son things that challenge him and make him focus on other things helps so much.

1 Like

Routine is important try going back to the school routine fill the school time with learning stuff he wants

2 Likes

Mine son has severe adhd he was diagnose at 6 also he got bad also when he was on his med it made him like a zombie at the time i was very anxious cause he would not listen he qould throw fit like a 3 yr old in a store we would go to places he would run all over he had broken his hand from grabbing n jumping he had to get stitches like 5x cuz he would be jumping n hit his head most time it happen at school thank god i switch schools n found a teacher that was patience with him we took him off his meds and started to change his activity when we see he is bored move all over the place we change what he was doing to a new activity … i also what i learn spanking him yelling and do sever punishment made it worse for him i just started to talk with him and explain what he was doing was wrong now he is 16 n yes still has that mouth n still hyper but he more better before i had to walk with him holding his hand because he would run off even infront of cars … i say its hard but talk with him dont hit him

1 Like

He needs a semi set routine and lots of physical activity. Also try modifying his diet, lots of things we eat agitate our minds and we don’t even realize it

1 Like

Meds might need to be adjusted due to the lack of stimulation hes getting. On the right dosage, school stimulates and challenges just the right amount to work along with the medication to keep focused. Now, a lot of that is just left to self regulation.

Also, it’s a fairly normal age to be testing boundaries and pushing back against structure/authority.

Speak with his doctor. Get a referral for a behavioral specialist to help through the summer… First, he is very young. School being let out is a huge change for him. They had a routine and presumably recieved positive reinforcement for positive behaviors. He needs structure that needs to be followed everyday, reinforcements and consequences, spanking is only going to make it 10x worse with his diagnosis. It’s very important to always reward positive behavoirs.

1 Like

He could have ODD with it. We also keep routine. We do summer school and camps to keep same bedtime and wake up schedule. Our girl has had adhd since she was 5 and odd, she sees a therapist 2 x a week and we have to stay strong. I cry in the shower or at night sometimes but I know she needs me. We don’t spank. We strictly make her walk away to her room and sit until she’s ready to be a respectful human. If it happens ten times in a row then so be it. We just keep doing it. Its summer but she is waken at 615am and in bed at 8pm. We have to stick to a routine.

He is missing the structure and routine. Try to create this at home. Give him activities and challenges. Also, highly recommend No Drama Discipline and Positive Parenting workbook.

He needs structure. And to feel as if he’s in control.

His routine has changed and it takes time for adjustments.
Taking things away never ever works . Give him your undivided attention for a hour a day 30 mins each time , no phone, no tv , don’t even answer the door. Engage with him in some sort of play let him choose or go get a bin of things for the special play time , play the games with his instructions (as long as it’s safe play).
I always found going for a drive with my son worked awesome just you and him or just your husband and him. Grab a ice cream and just do a drive this works because conversations are easier and more involved with less distraction.

I agree therapy, get him into some activity to wear him out and maybe a medication change. My son had that. I say had because he is 14 and hasn’t been on medication since lockdown. It takes a lot of practice. Take everything away from him. You are only required to provide a bed, clothe, a pair of shoes, that fit and food. Make him earn back his things. Also take some time for yourself. You can leave him in his room or with a person you trust and breathe. I was where you are. It is hard. Don’t let up on him. Whatever the rules are at your house are the rule. It is breaks them then he has to face the consequences. Sending prayers your way. You can do this there is a light at the end of this.

I don’t know what you have him on, but my stepson was put on a low dose of Focalin around that age, and his behavior was night and day! Him back talking is him testing his boundaries most likely. My daughter is 8 and does the same. Also routine is great for kids with ADHD.

Following! My 3 year old is the same way. He doesn’t verbally say anything but “no” or growl at me but everything we tell him, he does it anyway and if we spank him, put him in time out, whatever… he doesn’t grasp the concept … really frustrating

My son is 16, will be a senior this year. Has struggled with ADHD for many years along with RAD, Anxiety, and ODD. His medicine enables him to make better decisions and be more attentive but keeping him busy is key. If he has idle time it’s hard on all in the household. He’s working full-time this summer 6-3 so has no idle time. When he gets home he’s tired, will rest then go outside and ride his bike or go fishing. Keep your son busy/ occupied doing something.

1 Like

Routine for sure… same bed time every night. Make sure he gets plenty of sleep. Patience is key. You really need to dig deep and be patient. Time outs work if you are consistent. And you need to keep him busy. Their minds are like scrambled eggs. They can’t organize and focus like other “normal” people can. Take him to the park and run off energy. Ask him what his interests are and focus on that. Also if he has too many toys, electronics downsize, too many things can overwhelm him. Let him chose what he wants most and put away the rest. Reward positive behavior. Turn his back talk into getting him to ask nicely and apologize. It will take work. Consistency and routine will help a lot! Good luck :slightly_smiling_face:

1 Like

Schedule, schedule and schedule his day! Routine and organization is key! My son came out screaming and was always defiant. Diagnosed with ODD. Medicated from 5-11. Stuck with a routine, he came off meds, graduated. He know is 26, owns his own business. Mama it’s up to you to create the routine and organization. He will do better this way. My son still follows structure in his life. Baby on the way now, I bet he raises his boy with structure. Good luck! It gets easier!

3 Likes

I agree with all the routine keeping advice, but I found with my daughter that positive rewards worked better than taking things away. She started with nothing and was rewarded with things for the day, 1 hour, etc., based on earning them through the desired behavior or speaking tone. Reminders and gentle prodding were the norm along with many, many second chances.

1 Like

Get him off of pharmaceuticals & get him on naturopathic medicine … Cut sugars, red food dyes & processed foods out of his diet … Stop spanking him … Use positive reward system rather than discipline any time you can … Thank him every time for good behavior & tell him how much you love it when he makes good choices, tell him how smart he is … Get him out of the house & let him run jump scream fart & be rambunctious *every day - go for walks together … Limit screen time of *any sort to a bare minimum - including TV … Give him responsibilities - a plant, a pet, something that needs cared for …
My go to phrase when my kids (& now grandkids) were little …
"I didn’t ask you what you want to do I told you what your going to do , Yes Ma’am is what I want to hear & getting done is what I want to see "!!!

Spank him :rage: he annoys the snot out of you really ?

4 Likes

My son has ADHD. It often goes hand in hand with other conditions. My son’s is anxiety. When things are out of routine and he feels out of control he tends to become frustrated and most times that comes out as misbehavior. As many others have said, a routine might be what is most needed right now. We also discuss changes in routine or plans so that he has time to process. So many times I hear I am babying him and that he doesn’t need an expiration he should just be obedient, but that’s not what always works for us. We have discussed that I don’t have explain things in the moment. He is expected to obey first and then we can discuss the situation later. He responds so much better to me sitting down and talking to him, explaining things on a level he understands, than any punishment I can dish out. We have also found removing him from the situation that has him stressed until he can calm down helps. He is either sent to sit on his bed or he has to put his nose in a corner until he calms down. Every kid is different, but one thing I have found working with kids with ADHD is that their minds are working too fast to process other people’s thoughts or feelings in the moment. Empathy often comes with constant exposure to putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and thinking about how they feel. Good luck Mama. Sending prayers your way.

1 Like

He has been indoctrinated at school!!!

1 Like

I am a mom of a 20 year old who was diagnosed with ADHD when she was 6. It’s been a long journey for the both of us. The best advice I can give you is when you are frustrated walk away, calm down and try to see things from your child’s perspective. People with ADHD process things different then we do. They get over stimulated with frustration and that’s when you see the child acting out. I changed her diet. I cut out cokes, candy and anything that would give her a sugar rush. Of course I would give her things in moderation. Just not let her go crazy and gave her a daily routine. Her medication was only when she was in school. Until one day she told me she “needed”her medicine to be normal. At that point I told her she is normal and we are going to find different ways to cope with it. By this time she was in High school she joined colorgaurd and she excelled in it. Her moods changed she started being able to process a bit better and the hyper ness went away.

2 Likes

Joined an adhd moms group. This page is awful for adhd advice.

My son is almost 6 and possible autism but definitely adhd combo. I hear you! Its a struggle and I hear the same things. First my son is in therapy and it helps a lot. She helps teach him to regulate his emotions and energy. Second find things to use his energy! Crafts, outside play, ect, third I have found no matter what I am fought back on any negativity! So try the other side. Rewards, incentives, praise, ect. I litterally went to the store today to refill my treasure box. It doesn’t have to be material things either. Dates. Picking dinner, movies. Ect. But I got stuff around dollar or less. If he has a good week he can pick something out the box. Forth quality time. 15 minutes or more a few times a week. Set reasonable boundaries such as im not for hurting but give him full control of activity. Play what he wants however to give him a feeling of control over something. Which also goes with allow as many choices as possible. Clothing, food, ect. Also while playing and in everyday situations use commentary such as… I see your thinking about what you want to play, or I see your upset over this… ect. This helps to show them you see them as well as make them more aware of themselves. If I can see my son is restless I bring him outside and tell him to run his energy out but you also need to do an activity afterwards to get him back down. So something sitting down and resting. Chores/ helping out. I let my kids help me with as much as possible. Its quality time, they are learning, and it keeps them by me. So dinner, laundry, ect. Routine!!! At school he has Routine and at home im guessing not so much. Make up one doesn’t have to be super structured or followed overly strict but he’ll know what to expect and it helps in neurodivergence. I also warn/ remind a lot. In 5 minutes were doing this. Sometimes even ill give them a few extra minutes if its a problem at the moment. Let them know, warn, and then follow through. Also we talk as much as possible. Especially if I notice he’s stuggling. I’m very open with my children. Also I hardly discipline. When I do first I send to room to think and breath. I’ll tell him to go take a moment to calm down so you can listen to me. If its worse like hurting others its time out in the kitchen. Also loss of privilege depending on the problem but always connect the punishment to the problem so they are related. I think what helped me the most is to check my parenting. I attend my sons therapy so I can learn new and better ways to parent him. Yes. Adhd is soooo hard to deal with but #1 remember that he has no control and probably feels the same. Patience is key. Yes you are going to be repeating 100 times a day but look at it as a tool and not a task. I also compromise as much as I can. Apologie because I do make mistakes and talk about it. Also helpful watch his diet for sugary foods and dyes mostly red! You’ve got this. Positivity!:heart:

2 Likes

When A child misbehaves YOU correct them YOU don’t make excuses for their behavior or medicate them to death … !! A spanking not beating works on some kids , Standing them in the corner with their nose holding a penny in place works on some kids… Isolating them from all activities for a while works on some kids. Rewarding good behavior and substracting rewards fir bad behavior works on some kids …Each child is differ, You may have to try them all to see what works… but whatever you do do NOT allow the misbehavior to continue with out correcting them or making excuses.

5 Likes

We have 4 with ADHA and ADD ages 16, 14, 6 and 5 yes routine is basic for them they like knowing what to do everyday and they need to be reminded constantly of everything. And yes reward systems work. But the outburts seams like a defiance disorder to me but I’m not a doctor. He obviously has anger issues that need to be delt with. Good luck to you

Didn’t want to type it out so I screen shot.
Clear consequences (limits and boundaries ) if you do this
This will be the consequence
And stick to it.

1 Like

Yes sometimes they annoy the snot out of us
And sometimes a can of whoopass happens
Karen

1 Like

Why can’t perfect people just scroll along
I’d find much better things to do with my perfection than stop and be negative to a mom CLEARLY struggling

1 Like

Many kids with ADHD also have ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder)

3 Likes

Routine Routine routine , school out send everything up the wall he knows where he meant to be what he meant to be doing when to eat then all goes out of the window and everything is different more layer back ,its a reaction to lack of structure that he gets from school , ( in no way a dig if we can have a lay in then we go for it , who wouldn’t) maybe a chart on the wall to say lay in bed till 9.am and then do x y z , even if it’s just make your bed , shower , it’s the structure he craves x

2 Likes

My son is nearly 10 and has been diagnosed with adhd ASD and very high sensory processing disorder for 3 yrs his been medicated for a year(for his schooling so he can thrive)
We have the same issues once his got home or after school sports.
I’ve been told by many therapist that the behaviour is normal as the children treat home as a safe place. Ie they’re concentrating all day at school trying to be good and learning so much in a day. They get home and relax(as such). I don’t have any tips other then we let our son have some time to chill in his room away from everyone( he is one of 6 children) if his being horribly uncontrollable we try to get him to draw or write lines( this is his calm) but no ur not alone.

Did u stop his meds when school let out? He needs an outlet something physical like sports to tire him out.

I feel you on this my son is 9 finally got diagnosed with adhd last year (had to fight for 6 years mind you) my son does the exact same stuff. I find routine/ keeping him busy helps a bit also watching what he eats I find sugar really sets him off.

We just signed our son up for T-Ball bc hes wild. And when hes being bad he tells me “being good is too hard”

As a parent of a boy who has adhd (severe) I tried everything, what works is this, routine, for every single thing the same time every day, it does make a difference, visuals as in pictures with times on, ie breakfast bowl 7am, lunch could be a picture of a sandwich at 1pm etc, these need to go up on the wall where they are eye level as much as possible for your child. Speaking to the child in as short as possible sentences, by the time you’ve been speaking for 30 seconds, his mind has gone else where and no longer listening to you. Short times of punishment ie take away console or TV for 10 minutes, and add on 1 minute there after for further outbursts, say this in a calm but direct tone. Praise praise praise good behaviour, he will do any kind of behaviour, even bad behaviour just to get a) your attention and b) any kind of verbal interaction with you, because YOU are his safe person even if it doesn’t feel like it all the time, to him you are. Also cut out as much sugar and coloured drinks as possible, they bounce off the ceiling with anything too sugary or added colours ie smarties or skittles, they are the worst! Goodluck! Treasure your moments with him because when he gets to a teenager, you’ll hardly see him as he will be in his room alot

2 Likes

Unfortunately routine is what ADHD kids need and thrive on. My daughter who’s now 16, diagnosed at 3 with ADHD and ODD, was definitely a challenge to raise. Every school holidays was a nightmare as school routine is what they are predominately use to. The medication helps her with concentration at school, but the defiance towards me(soul parent) is the hardest to deal with. Consequences are a definite need, I was told by the paediatrician to put her in her room until her outburst has played out. It helped but unfortunately it’s a daily challenge. Maybe look at seeing if he also has ODD, goodluck xx

1 Like

My son who is now 15 has ADD and ADHD. The best thing is have a routine. Also keep him active. Sports will keep him active

Try daycare it’s helping my son alot while he’s out for summer.

Consistency get a program together and stick to it everyday

He needs to be busy with a good routine

1 Like

My son always did much better with a very tight, regulated routine. Summertime comes along, and now the schedule and routine is different, which is frustrating for him. The frustration he feels comes out in anger and sass. Just because he’s out of school for the summer doesn’t mean you can’t have a routine at home … one that includes a learning environment. It might help.

1 Like

My son was diagnosed with ADHD and border line Autism a few years ago. I go through some of the same stuff when his routine has been changed. You wouldn’t think something like that would cause outbursts like that but for some reason it seems to always do it for my son. I try to keep his schedule as routine as possible. He’s doing summer tutoring to try and fill the school break. Also my son’s attitude seems to be affected by his diet. My son is more inclined to have tantrums and back talk when he hasn’t eaten a substantial meal. When he goes to his grandfather’s he eats whatever he wants (ice cream for breakfast and dinner​:face_with_symbols_over_mouth::roll_eyes::expressionless:) and he comes back just down right terrible. I try to stay on top of his eating. I’m currently working with his insurance on getting him into a behavioral health therapist. I’ve seen it work wonders with other kids. Also my son fidgets real bad and it seems like he is worse when I try to make him get still. I bought him an exercise ball as a chair for his room. Believe it or not It has gotten him to be able to stay on task and focus better. It’s like all the excessive energy goes to the bouncing and his mind clears and let’s him concentrate.

Maybe take him back to the doctor and have them adjust his medication

My 8 yr old lives adhd. I don’t medicate her. We allow her to Express herself. When its tantrum time we call timeout and sit and talk. What helps us is routine. Set a time for everything and that helps loads. When she acts out we take away internet time and she absolutely loves game time so it really helps. The longer we take it away the calmer she is. She redirects herself into revision or lego . She gets super angry sometimes and when she does and doesn’t wanna listen I behave exactly like her and she starts to laugh and then we have a talk about expressing our feelings properly

Sounds like he might need an increase in meds. Don’t punish him for something he has little control over.

Routine routine routine. Make a daily chart put pictures up showing the schedule of the day starting with getting up out of bed. You can put pictures of clothes for changing clothes a picture of breakfast picture of Play Time picture of snack Time another picture of play time of lunch time etc etc. Also get the book called " the explosive child" . Kids do we’ll when they can and when they are not doing well it’s because they are lacking a skill or something in order to be able to do well. Identifying what his lack is and helping with that will change your life.

My middle daughter was this way…she’s 19 now and amazingly we all survived her raising! Physical outlet! Karate, kick boxing, gymnastics, dance etc.

1 Like

Show him love and attention, seems to work whenever my son acts that way. He just wants LOVE.

1 Like

do u give meds during summer or no or does need be readjusted i give my one daughter pretty much regularly except weekends unless go somewhere. sometimes occasionally didnt take during week on an off day of school but takes regularly. ii tell u when she misses some i want to strangle her . and believe me i see a difference with and without the medacine

1 Like

Routine, including positive reinforcement at the end if every day. “You didn’t say no to me ONCE today! Let’s make sundaes!” Or “you didn’t cry at all today! Let’s watch your favorite movie!”
Remind him of the reinforcements. It isn’t bribery. It’s teaching him that if he’s good, then good things happen.
Also, don’t spring anything unexpected on him. If you know you’re going to do something out of the ordinary, whatever it may be, give him plenty of notice and constant reminders. I used a calendar and every day at the same time we would look at the calendar and do a daily countdown. We’d say something like “only 8 more days then we’re going to the doctor” then 7, 6, 5, 4, and so on… and on those days she would get extra positive reinforcement (you were so good at the doctor, let’s go to the park and have a picnic) but then get RIGHT back into the routine when you get home.
Her biggest challenge was focus and impulsive behavior, not so much outbursts (she was squirrelly as I put it). So “being good” was doing things like NOT sticking a fork in the outlet or painting her bed frame with nail polish :unamused:
But if there was a change, she would have a rough day. Lots of redirecting and saying “no get off that… don’t do that you’re gonna get hurt… no that doesn’t go there… why are you doing that… stop jumping on the couch” until both of us were completely exhausted…

1 Like

Schedule and consistency and if you take items do not give them back or bluff.

1 Like

Feel sorry for the child, he likes the routine of school better than home. Makes you wonder

2 Likes

My nephew is wild. Off the wall. Lies, he’s 8, he is a thief. Started pooping his pants 5 months ago, plays in it, uses socks, underwear you name it wipes with them then hides them. Disgusting. Talks back. Nothing they do and I mean spanking, grounding, taking things away, standing in the corner, nothing works. He said he poops his pants because he’s lazy. No one’s wants to be around him. His sister is 10 he yells at her, bites her hits her when she outside with him. He does anything for attention. Won’t let anyone sleep. Gets up get into things, makes messes. He is out of control. His mother was the same. Lie, seems attention. I wouldn’t know what to do

Then why are you hitting a child that you just said doesn’t comprehend… Seek some professional help

2 Likes

Yep. That’s how my 6 year old is . She has ADHD and is on biphentin

My daughter has ADHD they want to put her on medication I wouldn’t let them I keep her on routine and she has done good a junior in high School with A and B in har classes

My daughter is ADHD, and she’s very difficult. Please don’t spank. Have you educated yourself about this? I read so many books and articles and talked to other parents… his brain doesn’t work like the average brain. He doesn’t understand, and he probably can’t control a lot.
Therapy helps a great deal.

1 Like

My 10 year old has ADHD and ODD was diagnosed 5 years ago.
He was medicated and changed them and it was always up and down 2 years ago he asked if he could not be medicated so I listened and gave it a shot his new school said he should be medicated (a month in this new school) I said No he doesn’t want to be and he just doesn’t like change and he is scared he will settle in time and I’m not forcing him to take them if he doesn’t want to take it and I haven’t had a call from then saying he mucked up in 3 months he always took his meds with no hassle just he didn’t think it was helping him but some times meds too help others. He played up for ages, at home at school, then having to adjust to a new school and home 6monthd ago and he back on track listens and does his chores (some times with a huff and puff). With adhd you need to stimulate there mind put him in sport, or let him run rugged at a park, reading actually helps. Try not give him things like electronics (only a hour a day) as it over stimulates there mind. But I will say hang in there it gets better as they get older.

My son has the same issue, try to remember after around 6-8 hours the medication wears off. So you still have that over active, highly emotional child… just not during those school hours. My sons dr told me “he has adhd, he can’t control his emotions at this age as it is, let alone with adhd however being disrespectful is not part of adhd” we have a phrase at home “your being a little to much right now bubby” when he hears that he automatically sits down takes 5 minutes to collect himself and comes back to talk calm. It’s a hard road to go down, but u will get there :heart:

Routine and structure! Most ADHD kids do better when they know what is going to happen when. Sit down and plan out his day and stick to the routine. Ignore tantrums. Walk away and tell him that when he is calm and ready to talk, come and see you. Reward good behavior. Hand stamps worked with my son. Catch him doing something good. Watching TV, playing a game, playing nicely with a sibling/playmate, ECT and immediately give whatever reward you use. Stickers are another reward you could use. Give him lots of praise with it. I know it’s rough, hang in there.

1 Like

Physical outlet. Bike rides, scooters, walks. Also I found that keeping routines is important too.

1 Like

ADHD NEED STABILITY…

and fyi your the parent . There are behavior charts at home you can do just like school

Can’t stand people like this

3 Likes

My 16 yr old says that I took his child hood away from him at a young age because we choose to medicate him for learning purposes. Was diagnosed with odd and adhd. says we made him a legal drug addict so he couldn’t just be a normal loud out going child and resents that we did that to him
Hes been off meds the last 3 yrs and its been a nightmare since almost 17 now
As of last year I was put on concerta and it’s been amazing for me wish when I was growing up that could have been a thing lol
Also give him time to adjust being outta school and routine… its hard pretending to be calm and good all day in other surroundings lol perhaps make him feel important in some choices

1 Like

Kiddos with ADHD do not benefit from “traditional” punishment like grounding, spanking, etc. His brain works completely differently than neuro typical children. You need to find what works best for him, not what is most convenient or traditional for you. Every child, especially children who are not Nuro typical, need different things to thrive. My first recommendation would be doing as much research as possible. By books, watch YouTube videos, even taking classes specifically about 80 HD would do wonders for you! It may take a while to find what exactly works for your son, but you could always try things like finding ways to get his energy out, like running around the field, playing sports, or playing with him. One on one time is also very important. If there are things you are wanting him to do or understand such as chores or rules, visuals will be a lifesaver! Print out pictures of his chores, pictures of feelings, pictures of different emotions, let him look at them whenever he would like to, or hang them in a common ground in your house. But my biggest step is to do as much research as possible, and do not use excessive force or punishment (I personally do not think that any children,neuro typical or otherwise, benefit from this, and there are many many other ways of teaching your children that will not do harm in the long run) but especially children with ADHD, OCD, oppositional defiant disorder, and other diagnoses as such will not learn from these disciplinary actions, and this will most likely cause more damage and more behaviors in the future. There are tons and tons of resources on YouTube and Google. I wish you luck!!!

1 Like

I have adhd pretty bad. Give him small tasks to do, one or two at a time. Keep him on a good routine with structure! Give good rewards when he is doing something good, also plenty of physical activity can help but dont force it.

He not on a routine that could be the problem

1 Like

Cut the red dye out of drinks n food

2 Likes

Honestly, nothing really helps except for time. No, it’s not good to ignore the behavior, but he is definitely getting lots of attention. I ignore my son’s mouth alot. He says things for the shock factor. He is 7, almost 8yo (ADHD/ODD-medicated) and besides his mouth he is very helpful and loving. He is super smart, so I know he knows what he’s doing. He is also extremely active. He loves playing basketball, throwing a football, has a pogostick, rip board, skate board, scooter, and a bike. He will literally doing almost all of this in an hour and then claim to be board. It’s exhausting, but be patient. They honestly cannot shut it off.

1 Like

So youre hitting him why??? He doesnt understand the situation any more than you do, routine is everything, maybe a reward chart after all he is only 6

1 Like

Idk. Do you talk to him like that?

1 Like

He needs the routine like he had at school.

He may also have ODD