My brother got ADHD as a child. We would always sit down with him and have him understand how it makes us feel. We didn’t hit him because that didn’t help him. If it helps you then do it. We would sometimes take things away bc this seemed to help him understand that he shouldn’t be doing these things.
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Routine. I noticed that this year, my sons ADHD is barely being touched with meds since summer started. Slowly working in a routine has been helpful.
He also could possibly need a different med or dosage adjusted.
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Who’s saying that to him? That’s NOT ADHD.
I would absolutely encourage you to work with a therapist… it can be too easy to let behaviors “slide” mislabeling it as ADHD when it’s not.
This is coming from experience, I have 2 sons with ADHD. Sometimes it takes support to learn the difference. I needed that help too! Always working towards better!
Make sure it’s actually ADHD first. Mine was diagnosed wrong for two years. After finally getting some real help, and appropriate diagnosis, we were able to handle the actual issues.
WHY ARE YOU HITTING A CHILD???
Adhd children need routine when the routine is displaced it causes them to become confused and disoriented. You need to have a soild routine. It’s never ok to smack your kid you get arrested for hitting adults you sld b arrested for hitting the child.
Acutally think as a parent your the problem not the 6 year old.
His angry and your angring him more disgusting vile human u are. Zero understanding to your childs additonal needs. Literally think the only help u can get is to have your child removef from your so called care
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My son- 11 now but same issues was diagnosed with ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) alongside of ADHD-and it was the ODD causing these specific issues- I kept him busy when not in school with any sport I could and when he was not in a sport we found him a hobby he enjoyed doing that could keep his interest and challenge him but not frustrate him. He still has his issues but they are fewer and faster between to deal with as he gets older. When he was that age there were days I would be so frustrated I would break down crying daily because I didn’t know what/how to deal with him. First step is always always be open and honest with his doctors- they cannot help if they don’t know exactly what’s going on- they may need to add additional diagnosis/ readjust diagnosis or They may need to adjust meds. My sons diagnosis started out as just ADHD but progressed to co-diagnosis of ODD and emotional disorders over the span of a year. Also and I cannot stress this enough- find him a good therapist!!! My son lacked the capability to show emotions in a healthy way and lashed out daily no matter the emotion but his therapist has helped him gain copping tools that have helped him tremendously! And lastly- no one thing works for every kid so it’s trial and error to find what will ultimately help your child and family. I tried several things before we found things that worked for my son. Some things that work For mine is we have to keep a strict schedule- homework, dinner, chores, x-box time, everything is scheduled out and posted to the wall so he knows what he should be doing at what time- he never seemed to be fazed by not having a routine when he was little but since we tried it early in his diagnosis his outbursts are way less than what they used to be. We use redirecting when behaviors are escalating- and he’s given 2 choices good and bad both with consequences when it’s needed-ie if you continue to make/do this -this will happen, however if you make better choices you will get/continue ect with this privilege it’s your choice- this has worked well as it teaches him he’s in control of the outcomes of his choices- we also focus a lot on positive reinforcement and try to ignore (when acceptable to ignore) negative behavior- for children in general negative attention is still attention! Spanking absolutely did not work with my child and would make him more defiant so we don’t do it. So we try within reason to focus and praise the good and not dwell on the bad- even when the bad has to be punished we don’t harp on it- we discuss why/what was unacceptable why/why punishment and than we move on from it and find the positives that came from it. We also don’t (again within reason) will not converse with him if he’s being particularly disrespectful ie- I will not speak to you when your speaking to me like that, when your ready to talk to me in a calm and appropriate manner we can discuss this. Again every child is different and will respond to different techniques but whatever you do and this is the most important- be consistent!!! Kids with ADHD do not think like “typical” children so consistency is key!!! Whatever you try make sure your clear and consistent in expectations - if not your sending mixed cues to a child who already thinks in a kind of mixed up way which ultimately confuses them further! When introducing a new technique sit him down and explain who/what/why/when/where so he understands what’s expected from the beginning and be consistent for at least 2-3 months- if no changes in behavior is noticed move on to something else- if change is noticed stick with it and/or tweak it to work even better for your child/family. Also there’s nothing that’s going to change him overnight. This will need to be something that has to be worked on everyday for months and years /the rest of his life. You have to be patient and understand this is not him but how he knows to cope- it’s your job to help him find better ways to do so. Keep your head up momma it’s frustrating as hell and seems like it will never end ,I know -but if you seek help and find things that work- it will get better I promise!!!
My son is like that as well and he’ll be 5 in October … I only give him 2 choices and that way he can choose him self or he thinks he is … I also do spank him when he acts up ( screaming and throwing tantrums ) but that’s my last resort, I put him in his room and close the door and tell him and can come out when he’s done that that behavior is NOT aloud here and no one wants to see it … so he chooses how long he is in his room 
if we’re out in public I just ignore him and he won’t get anything special if he acts like that ( his favorite thing is cheese burgers from BK or McDonalds ) I’ll purposely go and get a drink or something and not him if he acts like that, yes he’ll get mad but I’ll tell him mommy was good and he wasn’t and he doesn’t get anything special if he acts like so …
He could use some counseling to help him learn more appropriate language and how to stay focused and adjust to how he is feeling.
Don’t spank or punish for behavior he cannot control!
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- Stop hitting him. It doesn’t help.
- Get him therapy, he needs it.
- His meds may be wearing off at the end of school. Call your pediatrician for a Med check.
- Observe his sleeping habits. Is he staying up late and/or waking frequently in the night? If so he may actually need a smaller dose and/or a sleep aid like melatonin.
- You have to experiment until you find what works. A punishment is only a punishment if it decreases the frequency of future behavior. For my son it was video games.
- Be compassionate but persistent. Be understanding if he’s had a rough day but be clear that expectations need to be followed.
It’s hard but it’s worth it. My son is a responsible, respectful college student now. His ADHD was very severe and with the right combination of meds, therapy, and discipline we made it through.
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You do know what ADHD stands for right? Have you ever stopped to think your kid might just want your attention. I know you have other things to do in the day but find time to interact with him, find something he likes to do that you would enjoy too and do it together. With ADHD you have to keep the mind working and active because he will be so hyperactive its unreal. play with him, watch films, draw together anything. Spanking your child and taking things away from him will not work, you will only make him worse. Best of luck to you
I know it sounds crazy but over praise the good stuff. You may feel ridiculous making a big deal out of putting his shoes away or calming down for a while or using his manners. It worked with my son. His counselor suggested it and yes, it is behavior modification through manipulation. I also used sports. Not so much for the team building skills but to wear him out and he looked forward to being able to play. It is hard when the disability is on the inside and they look fine on the outside so many people judge. I also has to take a real honest hard look at my parenting and the way I would respond to my kids. I found that not sweating the small stuff that honestly doesn’t matter and focused on the more important things like real communication, manners and the here and now helped a lot. We only have our kids for a little while and then all we can do is guide them. My grandma used to say if your kids act right out side your house you have done your job as a parent because they have learned respect. If they act right inside your house but act a fool outside your house you have instilled fear.
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Meds may not be working anymore always consult with you little dudes pediatrician! Just call them up to make an appointment and have a sit down talk things out with the doc and maybe try counseling might help him be able to talk to somebody other than his mom and dad about how he’s feeling sometimes it’s hard to talk to our parents about our big feelings he may just need a fresh set of ears…
He HAS TO expend his energy and NEEDS jobs to do. I have an 8 year old little boy with extreme ADHD, diagnosed very early at only 18 months and started medical intervention at 5 years old. Medication does help but it is not the answer. Summer sports, martial arts, swimming programs are all good options for him. My son, personally, loves legos and anything else he can take apart and put back together, he loves to work with his hands. My family is big on mechanics and he’s been learning and helping all his life.
It’s all about finding his interests and allowing him to expend his energy in positive, acceptable ways.
When it comes to discipline my husband and I have found that having an “adult“ conversation with him is the best way to reach the best form of discipline for him. Example: he “steals” something from a sibling, we sit down and discuss what stealing is, what happens as an adult if it continues, what he believes is a good punishment, if we agree or not, and what his final punishment will be.
Making him part on the process seems to help with discipline.
Kids with adhd need ro have structure and schedules he had a very structured day at school and that’s what he needs a5 home get him on schedule they thrive on that and stick to the schedule this will helps so much good luck mamma u got this…
Change in any routine will set them back. Set a daily routine and bedtime as well. Let them know up front rules and consequences and be consistent everytime even if it exhausts u. It won’t take long because they know what to expect everytime just like in school.
I have a 13 year old with a laundry list of diagnoses: combined type adhd, autism, bipolar, Oppositional disorder
An 8 year old with adhd, primarily hyperactive
When I first sought out treatment for my oldest it was for the reasons you described. I was at a loss. I had tried everything to get him to understand that his behavior was not only inappropriate but dangerous. I refer to episodes in which he climbed out on rooves, put a bag over his sister’s head, lit our bathroom on fire and so on. THERAPY. I cannot insist enough on therapy. I spent 8 years in therapy with my oldest learning along side him how his brain works, how to help him slow down long enough to make better decisions and how to reinforce the good ones. We are now years down the road and I now have alot more tricks in my bag thanks to the many behavioral therapists and psychiatrists over the years. So that’s my advice. Find a good therapist. Good luck momma
Often ADHD goes hand in hand with ODD (oppositional deviant disorder). But at this age, puberty gives them all sorts of behaviors so it’s difficult to diagnose. Chances are he needs some discipline. Make him do extra chores when he mouths off, take more privileges away. I had to take everything but the bed at one point with mine. Even the holiday gifts were taken. I taught my son everything in life is earned, now he’s 25 and a caring kind man. - also, I had to re-evaluate his meds because the adderall was making him aggressive and mean. Just food for thought.
Is he still on his meds over the summer? When I was on Aderrall in high school I was so easily irritated at home. That was one of the reasons I stopped taking it. (not that you should stop. I’m just offering what I know from experience) It made it hard to sleep at night, loss of appetite, easily annoyed and when in school, sometimes I noticed I was re-writing notes that I didn’t like the way they looked. (I never did that before) Makes me wonder what the meds can do to younger kids if it can make a teenager obsess over handwriting. Talk to his Dr & see if he should be on when not in school. Some need it and some can take a break. Overall, try to keep your cool with him. Disrespect should be pointed out but it is hard to run on an overthinking brain. It’s draining
I’m sorry M’Lady, but ADHD is NO excuse for your child being disrespectful! A firm lash to the behind works WONDERS!!! DON’T wait til you get angry and lose it. Check him WAY before that happens!
You need to look into ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder). A lot of kids with ADHD suffer from this as well. I am currently battling this with my 13 yo.
This is my 9 and 8 year old to the T. We had to put them in the behavior program to learn coping mechanisms. Ive learned its different with boys and girls to. Have you tried counseling? It really does help
Adhd is often linked to diet. I’d be packing his lunches and start reading your labels.
Is he still medicating at home?
If a child can behave and respectful in school but not home it’s a parenting problem. This adhd thing and medication crap is a cop out. I’m 52 years old and we didn’t diagnose kids behavior back in the day; nor did we have this time out crap. Our time out was momma or grandma taking time out to light that ass up. Kids don’t need diagnosis, parents do.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum! How to parent a child with ADHD? - Mamas Uncut
Occupational therapy for kids.
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My parents whipped my ass when I didn’t mind no pills needed
My oldest has severe ADHD and is on the spectrum. Talk to her doctor about getting her into therapy/family therapy. That is the only thing that helped us because we could all get things out and get tips and tricks to help at home
maybe she needs to seea dr that could get her on stronger meds ,that maybe why she just doing her own thing
Meds may not be the right ones
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Unfortunately…and don’t beat me up. But so many time’s the parents have no follow through or two much punishment. I always tell my friends to YouTube Super Nanny to get you in the right direction.
They have never been unhappy.
She dont have ADHD…She has CD. Google Conduct Disorder. Bet she done 85% what’s listed
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Behavioral and play therapy is also great. The link below includes the most effective forms of therapy for adults and children. Talk with your pediatrician or the medical professional who gave the diagnosis about getting referrals to see a therapist.
Its called ODD- Oppositional Defiant Disorder. My 11 yr old son has adhd, odd and anger issues. He was on Adderall for 4 yrs but has recently stopped working and now what we do is therapy every 2 weeks and i try to encourage him to write in a journal about his feelings and yes, many time outs as well. Its alot of work helping a child deal with these kind of things and i know its hard…but just know you are doing everything u can. Maybe ask to increase therapy if she goes already and if not start asap. Let her pick out a journal to express herself in. Try to take time with her one at a time to go get ice cream or something and talk about whats going on with her in school and how she feels in general. Like i said, its alot of work but these things do help alot.
That’s why meds AREN’T WORKING
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Hi so what i have learned and been told instead of time outs n taking things away bc not all the time do they understand, as frustrating as it can be sit with them nicely and talk about how what they did affected u and why u dont think it was right to make them see it in ur point of view as well 
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My son (9) has ADHD, It can be a daily struggle. I find it very difficult and some days i could cry. I also have a 2 year old who displays the same behaviour so she may possibly be diagnosed too. I find to get him (9 year old) to do something it’s best to give him 1 or 2 instructions at a time and the best way to get his attention is to call him by his name and make sure to have plenty of eye contact. Also if I’m doing something and he can help it has a great impact and i find incentives work wonders. His favourite thing is a movie night with just me, so if he can behave then he earns it on my big payday(i go all out with treats). I do struggle and find myself shouting alot at both kids, but it’s always gonna be a learning process. Getting him to talk about his feelings helps too, but it takes a while to get them out. We do take his switch and phone away when he misbehaves/lies. But only for a certain time, he can watch the clock until he gets it back. I can’t remember everything else i do 
My oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD and at times it was crazy. Some of the things we realized was negative attention was better then no attention. And by this I mean taking things away and time outs is giving attention to the child. So my son would act out to get that negative attention. So we would just ignore his bad behavior and not give any attention to it and when he was done with what he was doing then he would get a punishment. We also used a rewards system with charts and stickers for a weekly basis. If he got so many points on his chart for the week he earned a reward. The reward could be anything from a special snack to a toy. We also realized that some of the medication that he was taking was making him act out more then if he wasn’t on any. And some even made him become aggressive. That is some things we did with our son.
My 4th child had it severe! I cried everyday thinking I was a horrible parent. It was hard, very hard. Had to put him on meds which went against every belief I had. Finally after a long road of that finally found one that worked. He is now 21 he grew out of it. Has a great job and became a very admirable man. Do the best u can. It’s a difficult road. It’s ok to break down. To scream, to cry, to have melt downs. Just keep pushing forward. Don’t give up. And have faith that all this will come to an end. And above all build a closer relationship with your spouse. Your gonna need her strength more then ever! And she will need you. You will get thru this. It doesn’t mean your bad parents. God chose you, because he knew you could weather the storm.
Well maybe a new medication also. A star chart seemed to help my son when he was younger. Also children with ADHD need more structured daily activities so they know what to expect at all times. I cannot express this any better but they need to know in both households the consequences are the same and the rewards for good behavior are about the same. Also coparenting if working together will help big time. See if you all can get on the same page if not already. If you can find a good therapist that would help too. The fact that you and the step mom are working together is a great start. Good luck. I wish I had a good coparent it would help my child so much more.
Look into her food intake,heavy metals etc her diet can be helpful with the right food
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Token economy system. My daughter still writes out her to do list and daily activities list to keep her day organized.
Behavior therapy… I have 3 adhd odd and other needs children
I’m an adult with ADHD. I thrive on routine/plans. I also went through a few different dosings/medications before i found what worked for me.
HR Mom is a wonderful page with fantastic, sound, reasonable and thoroughly explained parenting techniques to help guide a child that may struggle with ADHD!
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I also took my daughter off meds at 12, homeschooled and made a better connection. Drastic changes were taken and she graduated but between 12 and 19 
inbox any time for advice or venting. Just add!
My son didn’t do well on meds they made him either sleep 24/7 or make him feel like he was in a fog. On the other hand my brother had to take his meds or he would make life a living he’ll.
Does she maybe have ODD as well or instead?
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This is gonna sound sorta crazy but try small amounts of caffine. Nothing to crazy but like a small cup of coffee. I know with myself and my brother we both have ADHD and growing up the only thing that seemed to ever work was caffine.
Structure and consistency
Diet, fidgets, reward system
Get down on their level and discuss what the did wrong and why it was wrong and ask what made them think it was right
Try changing her meds or the dosage
My daughter was also diagnosed with other “disorders” finally at 18 with bipolar. The therapist said the diagnoses as a child were Symptoms of her undiagnosed Bipolar. The therapist went on to say that most doctors will not diagnose children so young with bipolar. And will treat symptoms like adhd, add, dd, cd, impulsiveness ect. Get her with a therapist for behavior modification. It helped a lot. Token economy was the tool that was a game changer!
Cbd tea without the thc
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ADDITUDE magazine. Subscribe, they have a loooooot of great information and even webinars
Her meds may need readjusting, I’ve gone through that multiple times with my son. One medicine used to make him angry. She sounds young and you have to remember with adhd they have less impulse control so they tend to do things without caring about consequences. She needs a good therapist because they can give you ideas on controlling her impulses.
Positive reinforcement and encouragement is the ONLY thing that works for ADHD children. Their minds work directly off of impulse, so the more you tell them what they are doing wrong, the more they will do wrong. Remind her of everything she is doing right. I have a 14 almost 15 year old daughter and a 6 year old son who are both ADHD.
I have 2 children with adhd. Neither r on meds. We watch their diet mostly and I did research to learn why things r the way they r. It opened my eyes a lot. Also one of my children is allergic to every adhd med on the market as of a couple of years ago. I found out by having a gene sight test performed. It’s a simple swab of the mouth and it lets u know what meds will work the best and what meds not to even try. We’ve done psychiatrist, anxiety meds and occupational therapy. Good luck. It’s a rocky journey but they r worth it.
Make them run but make it fun. My youngest sibling has it pretty bad and running it out helps. It starts to get there energy out.
Do The Best you can, choose your battles, don’t put them in a box, let them be expressive, structure and routines
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I have adhd, and remained un-medicated as a child. My mom found hobbies that I would hyperfixate on, and set scheduled times on when I would be able to do them. I hyperfixated on reading/watching Harry Potter and video games for the longest time. I would have to have all of my homework done, help a bit around the house, and play outside for a certain amount of time on good weather days or do an activity (craft, movie, board games) with her before she would let me have 2-3 hours of letting me hyper fixate and enjoy my stuff to my hearts content. It honestly really helped me pay more attention in everyday activities, because if I didn’t focus then I couldnt get to my special hobbies. Now, as an adult, its been very manageable because I recognize if i dont stay focused on my everyday tasks then I have less time to do what I want to my hearts content.
My ex had adhd as well, but he was medicated on Adderall for the longest time (allong with other meds). He was an absolute hater on medication because it literally sucked the life out of him. He said it felt like he was a zombie. Wake up, go to school, come home and eat, and go to sleep. He had absolutely no interest in any hobbies, he didnt care for school, and he admitted to me at about 12 he just wanted to unsubscribe from life because he absolutely hated it. And because he went so long on medication, when his mom finally let him stop taking it, he went absolutely wild. She couldn’t control him at all. He would flit from interest to interest, and would hyper fixate on some terrible things for a minor because it helped his mind focus on one thing at a time. Because he went from zombie to basically a crackhead of energy with no structure, he didnt know how to manage it at all and would repeatedly go back to what he knew worked “calm” him down. (Gore and porn, and they’re both terrible to hyperfixate on.) So now as an adult, he finds violence and sex will calm him down faster than anything else, and he refuses to see the problems with it.
Basically, the number one thing yall need to focus on is structure, and that showing her that she needs to control her energy for her freetime, and the more she doesn’t focus on everyday tasks, the less free time she has. Its okay to hyper fixate, as long as its on things that aren’t dangerous, and you have set times on when she can just not care about anything else. For adhd, medication for it is one of the only things I dont suggest, because my ex wasn’t the only one I’ve met that was like that.
Taking away personal belongings as a punishment rarely sets the right standards, in my experience. Particularly when aiding the development of a child with ADHD or ADD; I’ve never seen it be truly constructive. Children and adolescents always require a great amount of patience and repetition, but it’s been important with my work with children dealing with ADHD. Just like any other child they benefit from explanations of certain expectations and rules; they just might need the reminder more often.
Approaching with kindness and understanding can get rough when you’re constantly repeating yourself, and that’s okay. Talk to your child about your feelings. Seriously. Be honest and calm. It will benefit your child first by helping her understand how to express herself in a fair and meaningful way by your demonstration. Second, it will benefit her in her skills in empathy and understanding. Third, it will help you to express yourself to your child in a way that is less likely to leave you feeling guilty, frustrated, or overwhelmed by the encounter. At the end of it remind yourselves and her that you are all trying your best, and learning together everyday.
My son was diagnosed with adhd bi-polar odd they had him on all kinds of meds took him off all and he does 3x better
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My son has it n what helps him is a coffee in the morning n some coffee at night so he can sleep i pulled him off of his meds because they was getting worse
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Pcit therapy worked well for us taught me how to interact with mine… follow through and consequences are key… but lots of therapy… time outs work but you have to keep putting them back and removing things til they can stay for x amount of time
Fidget cubes work pretty well. Grounding didn’t really work with my brothers or I, neither did time out. Give us a project that needs our full attention (coloring, separating colored things, organizing, drawing pictures, reading a book, decorating stuff like photo albums or deserts) we were on it and we behaved very well cuz if we didn’t those activities could be taken away as punishment. Find something she really enjoys doing thats fun that keeps her focused and when she doesn’t listen take like a day of that activity away or something. Materialistic items don’t really matter to kids with ADHD when it comes to having them or not because they’ll just find a different item to temporarily entertain themselves with. Things that can be considered rewards though are a different story. If you tell a kid “you did really good let’s bake a cake!” They’re probably gonna be excited for it but if you tell them “no we can’t bake a cake today because you didn’t listen. You did (whatever they did) when I asked you to (whatever they were asked to do)” they’ll be upset at first but eventually they’ll learn to do what they’re asked to do or focus on what they’re suppose to focus on. At least that’s how my aunt and my grandparents worked with my brothers and I and it worked great. Also helped us as we grew up to know what we needed to do before asking to go do anything else.
Denise Douglas-Maximus
I had the same problem until my son was moved 2 a different school because of ADHD n a behavioral disorder the special education teacher taught my son how 2 self sooth himself when he gets upset n not hit 2 be able 2 express himself instead of hitting now when he gets upset he asks 2 go in a room 2 be by himself so he can calm down he’s 8
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Weed gummies work wonders
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This might sound crazy, but coffee, there are studies to prove that coffee has the reverse effect on those with adhd and actually calms our brain rather then hyping us up. I personally can always think better when I have a coffee in the morning and night of each day. And having a calmer brain will allow her to interpret what you say. It’s not that she isn’t listening it’s that there is soo many things happening in her brain at once that information becomes hard to retain. And when you are young with adhd it is even harder. It may seem hard for you to believe or understand but she is probably trying the best she can and at times is probably more frustrated than you are that “she can’t do the right thing”
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Get her off the medication. She’s a child.
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Her pediatrician should have resources to help you- therapy, activities, services through her school etc
Celia have a read through might find something interesting
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Keep her busy at all time with alot of different activities I have 2 now adult babies and all you can do is keep them busy we tried medication but it didn’t work so we keep busy it’s exhausting but it’s the knly thing to do ADHD is alot more than hyper or cant sit still I suggest researching alot and reading books
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Sounds like u need in home services I’ve had this for my son and life got a lot easier
Constant movement breaks. Find something she enjoys doing and use that as a reward. Set small goals, when she reaches her goal reward her with something she enjoys. Encourage her to reach her goals. Constant reminders, if she can do something you want her to do for 10 minutes then she can then do something she likes for 10 minutes. Visual timetables are great so she knows what she is expected to do and when. I know it’s hard but getting cross and punishing negative behaviour only reinforces negativity. Your stepdaughter isn’t being “naughty” people with ADHD act on impulse, they act without thinking of the repercussions or consequences. Lots of praise for positive behaviour. Talk calmly and help her figure out a way of self regulating. If you can see she is getting worked up try and deescalate her behaviour, distraction is key to avoid meltdowns.
CBD could help, my grandson has ADHD and I’ve watched him go through some changes ( not good ones, like melt downs) and it was hard to watch and tolerate. It broke my heart to see him in such a state sometimes. Patients and a whole lotta love. Prayer too.
And food with more iron
My son has adhd and we are still learning more. We actually just found out that on top of the ADHD he also has dyslexia. I have been asking about dyslexia since he was in the 2nd grade. I’ve been requesting testing cause it’s in the family. I grew up with a father that had it. Finally I found out the end of this past year 7th grade mind you that he’s had it and the school has known. Trust me I’ll deal with the school but my sons education and mental status is more important right now. So the reason I say this is there might be more behind the ADHD that the school and doctors are saying oh that’s only ADHD when really there something other the child also has. That was the reason the schooling my son has been in didn’t treat the dyslexia. They kept saying oh no he’s doing this or that cause of ADHD. Kinda like ptsd and bipolar. For both of them you can have the same signs. Honestly from what I have been told one of the main ways you figure out those to is if your manic or not. But figuring out if your manic could be hard. Also deep breathing and not reacting to every “bad” thing they do might help. The attention in my sons case is what makes it worse. Even laughing cause he’s laughing can also bring it out more. With how hyper the child is on the outside think about what their brain is doing on the inside. I’m not a doctor and a professional in ADHD this is just what I have noticed with my son and how to react with my son. Each child is different.
Talk to her doctor or try a different doctor
It’s okay to get a second opinion
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum! How to parent a child with ADHD? - Mamas Uncut
Both families need to come together with routine and structure.
So she knows exactly where she is and what’s happening and what’s expected of her.
I also think as hard as it’s going to be.
Ignore the unwanted behaviour and really go over board to quickly reward good behaviour.
Maybe have a board or create to tokens.
You also need help and support from specialist or organisations.
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You have to keep them occupied with multiple things for shorter periods of time or 1 thing to keep them to attend to. I suggest getting with a counselor or ask the doctor to give a referral for either a therapist or doctor to specializes in that because it can help you all with a structure and how to understand each other.
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Therapy - time out and taking things away doesn’t work for kids. Especially adhd kids.
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I really have an amazing theory behind ADHD children, as my son was “off the chain”. I’ve taken many of medical terminology classes, one thing you learn is most things you read from right to left. So that’s how I broke it down. My son had a Disorder of Hyperactivity from a Deficit of Attention. If you figure out where the attention deficit is coming from you can begin to understand how to handle it. I was victim of DV since very young, no father figure and latched on to the first person that made me believe he loved me to and I began to pass the cycle on to my son. I left my husband and invested in my child. And we found where he attention deficit came from… me. His hyperactivity stemmed from I had to give him my attention even if he was getting in trouble. He is a talented athlete and my world revolved around him playing football and his school behavior. He hasn’t taken any kind of medication since 8th grade. And football became his positive outlet for the hyperactivity. He would struggle but if he needed me or the school needed me, I’m otw. Jobs knew, he came first anything school or sports related… I’m not asking, he will never have to ask if I can be there for him. He graduated with 3.8 in one of the states best schools and was the 6A All District Linebacker and Defensive MVP. This day we are in we can give our kids the attention they REQUIRE as they forming social and interpersonal skills. Sorry for the book but it saved our life.
Routine is key, and a detailed one like 7am out of bed, 710 breakfast, 730 brush teeth hair and wash face, 745 get dressed, 8…etc. put in free time too.
My daughter responded well to background music during activities. Her mind was going a million miles an hour so it gave her some focus.
Every child is different though and what works for one may not work for the next.
Reward positive behavior, minimize reactions to negative behavior.
Also there is adhd therapy and counselors that can work with you.
Run like hell !!! My stepdaughter has it and I have never been so stressed out in my life !!! Real mom never cared and dad was always working…this took my life away from my own children. Its fighting a losing battle that you’ll never win. Shes 36 now and is still way out there.Cold hard truth here but I HATED EVERY MINUTE OF IT ALL and my health from the stress literally bout killed me.NEVER AGAIN !!!
PCIT style therapy works. Give it a try. I work in a mental health office. I have seen so many families come together and finally figure out what works for them with a counselor.
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Sports… such as gymnastics or even a club at school some type of activity that helps them physically and mentally if they aren’t in school they need routine it’s so difficult when they have to stay still all the time
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Also, I am an adult with ADHD and was a child with ADHD, not listening is something you can overcome. She can develop skills to help her focus long enough to listen and retain what people are saying to her. Get her in therapy.
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I have adhd and 2 of my kiddos do. One is an adult one is 13. The number one thing to remember is our brain doesn’t function like yours. If you ask me a question It takes me a bit before I process what is said. Doesnt mean I ignore or don’t listen its that my processing isn’t the same. So if you ask a question always repeat it. If you want them to do something make sure its short things or its shortened lists. Redirect if its a task you want done and it isn’t getting complete. And if she’s still having issues with finishing tasks and doing things make sure its brought up with the dr. They start kids on low doses so they can adjust as needed. They don’t know to adjust if you don’t let them know.
she will grow out of it it took me till I was 26
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Get help from agencies in your area. Counselors and behavior therapists. Referrals from her doc or school or some dont need referrals. And adhd is often accompanied by odd or oppositional defiant disorder.
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Positive reinforcement
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If you are throwing multiple things her way she isnt getting any of it. Have her look at you while making her sit down. Give her one direction at a time. Have her repeat it back to you. She can focus on one thing if that is all she has. Example is my daughter has adhd…I cannot tell her hang up your coat, get a snack, do your homework, clean your room then you can play. Because she will not remember most of what was said. So its hang up your coat. Then she does. Then tell her she may have a snack. Etc. She isnt just not listening on purpose. She may genuinely not remember or understand. Routine is key. Once you have her set on a routine part of the day will go much easier.
She needs an outlet for her energy Dance, horseback riding, sports, drawing…something she loves
I went the medication and therapy route and regret it with my daughters…did not work
And one daughter became an addict later on after HS
I have 2 grand daughters with the same thing… Go talk to doc and ask to try something else…we had to try several diff meds to find right one… Then u may have to reteach acceptable behavior…
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My first question is How old is she?