How to parent a child with ADHD?

Her meds may need readjusting, I’ve gone through that multiple times with my son. One medicine used to make him angry. She sounds young and you have to remember with adhd they have less impulse control so they tend to do things without caring about consequences. She needs a good therapist because they can give you ideas on controlling her impulses.

Positive reinforcement and encouragement is the ONLY thing that works for ADHD children. Their minds work directly off of impulse, so the more you tell them what they are doing wrong, the more they will do wrong. Remind her of everything she is doing right. I have a 14 almost 15 year old daughter and a 6 year old son who are both ADHD.

I have 2 children with adhd. Neither r on meds. We watch their diet mostly and I did research to learn why things r the way they r. It opened my eyes a lot. Also one of my children is allergic to every adhd med on the market as of a couple of years ago. I found out by having a gene sight test performed. It’s a simple swab of the mouth and it lets u know what meds will work the best and what meds not to even try. We’ve done psychiatrist, anxiety meds and occupational therapy. Good luck. It’s a rocky journey but they r worth it.

Make them run but make it fun. My youngest sibling has it pretty bad and running it out helps. It starts to get there energy out.

Do The Best you can, choose your battles, don’t put them in a box, let them be expressive, structure and routines

1 Like

I have adhd, and remained un-medicated as a child. My mom found hobbies that I would hyperfixate on, and set scheduled times on when I would be able to do them. I hyperfixated on reading/watching Harry Potter and video games for the longest time. I would have to have all of my homework done, help a bit around the house, and play outside for a certain amount of time on good weather days or do an activity (craft, movie, board games) with her before she would let me have 2-3 hours of letting me hyper fixate and enjoy my stuff to my hearts content. It honestly really helped me pay more attention in everyday activities, because if I didn’t focus then I couldnt get to my special hobbies. Now, as an adult, its been very manageable because I recognize if i dont stay focused on my everyday tasks then I have less time to do what I want to my hearts content.

My ex had adhd as well, but he was medicated on Adderall for the longest time (allong with other meds). He was an absolute hater on medication because it literally sucked the life out of him. He said it felt like he was a zombie. Wake up, go to school, come home and eat, and go to sleep. He had absolutely no interest in any hobbies, he didnt care for school, and he admitted to me at about 12 he just wanted to unsubscribe from life because he absolutely hated it. And because he went so long on medication, when his mom finally let him stop taking it, he went absolutely wild. She couldn’t control him at all. He would flit from interest to interest, and would hyper fixate on some terrible things for a minor because it helped his mind focus on one thing at a time. Because he went from zombie to basically a crackhead of energy with no structure, he didnt know how to manage it at all and would repeatedly go back to what he knew worked “calm” him down. (Gore and porn, and they’re both terrible to hyperfixate on.) So now as an adult, he finds violence and sex will calm him down faster than anything else, and he refuses to see the problems with it.

Basically, the number one thing yall need to focus on is structure, and that showing her that she needs to control her energy for her freetime, and the more she doesn’t focus on everyday tasks, the less free time she has. Its okay to hyper fixate, as long as its on things that aren’t dangerous, and you have set times on when she can just not care about anything else. For adhd, medication for it is one of the only things I dont suggest, because my ex wasn’t the only one I’ve met that was like that.

Taking away personal belongings as a punishment rarely sets the right standards, in my experience. Particularly when aiding the development of a child with ADHD or ADD; I’ve never seen it be truly constructive. Children and adolescents always require a great amount of patience and repetition, but it’s been important with my work with children dealing with ADHD. Just like any other child they benefit from explanations of certain expectations and rules; they just might need the reminder more often.

Approaching with kindness and understanding can get rough when you’re constantly repeating yourself, and that’s okay. Talk to your child about your feelings. Seriously. Be honest and calm. It will benefit your child first by helping her understand how to express herself in a fair and meaningful way by your demonstration. Second, it will benefit her in her skills in empathy and understanding. Third, it will help you to express yourself to your child in a way that is less likely to leave you feeling guilty, frustrated, or overwhelmed by the encounter. At the end of it remind yourselves and her that you are all trying your best, and learning together everyday.

My son was diagnosed with adhd bi-polar odd they had him on all kinds of meds took him off all and he does 3x better

1 Like

My son has it n what helps him is a coffee in the morning n some coffee at night so he can sleep i pulled him off of his meds because they was getting worse

1 Like

Pcit therapy worked well for us taught me how to interact with mine… follow through and consequences are key… but lots of therapy… time outs work but you have to keep putting them back and removing things til they can stay for x amount of time

Fidget cubes work pretty well. Grounding didn’t really work with my brothers or I, neither did time out. Give us a project that needs our full attention (coloring, separating colored things, organizing, drawing pictures, reading a book, decorating stuff like photo albums or deserts) we were on it and we behaved very well cuz if we didn’t those activities could be taken away as punishment. Find something she really enjoys doing thats fun that keeps her focused and when she doesn’t listen take like a day of that activity away or something. Materialistic items don’t really matter to kids with ADHD when it comes to having them or not because they’ll just find a different item to temporarily entertain themselves with. Things that can be considered rewards though are a different story. If you tell a kid “you did really good let’s bake a cake!” They’re probably gonna be excited for it but if you tell them “no we can’t bake a cake today because you didn’t listen. You did (whatever they did) when I asked you to (whatever they were asked to do)” they’ll be upset at first but eventually they’ll learn to do what they’re asked to do or focus on what they’re suppose to focus on. At least that’s how my aunt and my grandparents worked with my brothers and I and it worked great. Also helped us as we grew up to know what we needed to do before asking to go do anything else.

Denise Douglas-Maximus

I had the same problem until my son was moved 2 a different school because of ADHD n a behavioral disorder the special education teacher taught my son how 2 self sooth himself when he gets upset n not hit 2 be able 2 express himself instead of hitting now when he gets upset he asks 2 go in a room 2 be by himself so he can calm down he’s 8

4 Likes

Weed gummies work wonders

6 Likes

This might sound crazy, but coffee, there are studies to prove that coffee has the reverse effect on those with adhd and actually calms our brain rather then hyping us up. I personally can always think better when I have a coffee in the morning and night of each day. And having a calmer brain will allow her to interpret what you say. It’s not that she isn’t listening it’s that there is soo many things happening in her brain at once that information becomes hard to retain. And when you are young with adhd it is even harder. It may seem hard for you to believe or understand but she is probably trying the best she can and at times is probably more frustrated than you are that “she can’t do the right thing”

7 Likes

Get her off the medication. She’s a child.

3 Likes

Her pediatrician should have resources to help you- therapy, activities, services through her school etc

Celia have a read through might find something interesting

1 Like

Keep her busy at all time with alot of different activities I have 2 now adult babies and all you can do is keep them busy we tried medication but it didn’t work so we keep busy it’s exhausting but it’s the knly thing to do ADHD is alot more than hyper or cant sit still I suggest researching alot and reading books

1 Like

Sounds like u need in home services I’ve had this for my son and life got a lot easier

Constant movement breaks. Find something she enjoys doing and use that as a reward. Set small goals, when she reaches her goal reward her with something she enjoys. Encourage her to reach her goals. Constant reminders, if she can do something you want her to do for 10 minutes then she can then do something she likes for 10 minutes. Visual timetables are great so she knows what she is expected to do and when. I know it’s hard but getting cross and punishing negative behaviour only reinforces negativity. Your stepdaughter isn’t being “naughty” people with ADHD act on impulse, they act without thinking of the repercussions or consequences. Lots of praise for positive behaviour. Talk calmly and help her figure out a way of self regulating. If you can see she is getting worked up try and deescalate her behaviour, distraction is key to avoid meltdowns.

CBD could help, my grandson has ADHD and I’ve watched him go through some changes ( not good ones, like melt downs) and it was hard to watch and tolerate. It broke my heart to see him in such a state sometimes. Patients and a whole lotta love. Prayer too.

And food with more iron

My son has adhd and we are still learning more. We actually just found out that on top of the ADHD he also has dyslexia. I have been asking about dyslexia since he was in the 2nd grade. I’ve been requesting testing cause it’s in the family. I grew up with a father that had it. Finally I found out the end of this past year 7th grade mind you that he’s had it and the school has known. Trust me I’ll deal with the school but my sons education and mental status is more important right now. So the reason I say this is there might be more behind the ADHD that the school and doctors are saying oh that’s only ADHD when really there something other the child also has. That was the reason the schooling my son has been in didn’t treat the dyslexia. They kept saying oh no he’s doing this or that cause of ADHD. Kinda like ptsd and bipolar. For both of them you can have the same signs. Honestly from what I have been told one of the main ways you figure out those to is if your manic or not. But figuring out if your manic could be hard. Also deep breathing and not reacting to every “bad” thing they do might help. The attention in my sons case is what makes it worse. Even laughing cause he’s laughing can also bring it out more. With how hyper the child is on the outside think about what their brain is doing on the inside. I’m not a doctor and a professional in ADHD this is just what I have noticed with my son and how to react with my son. Each child is different.

Talk to her doctor or try a different doctor
It’s okay to get a second opinion

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum! How to parent a child with ADHD? - Mamas Uncut

Both families need to come together with routine and structure.
So she knows exactly where she is and what’s happening and what’s expected of her.
I also think as hard as it’s going to be.
Ignore the unwanted behaviour and really go over board to quickly reward good behaviour.
Maybe have a board or create to tokens.
You also need help and support from specialist or organisations.

5 Likes

You have to keep them occupied with multiple things for shorter periods of time or 1 thing to keep them to attend to. I suggest getting with a counselor or ask the doctor to give a referral for either a therapist or doctor to specializes in that because it can help you all with a structure and how to understand each other.

2 Likes

Therapy - time out and taking things away doesn’t work for kids. Especially adhd kids.

2 Likes

I really have an amazing theory behind ADHD children, as my son was “off the chain”. I’ve taken many of medical terminology classes, one thing you learn is most things you read from right to left. So that’s how I broke it down. My son had a Disorder of Hyperactivity from a Deficit of Attention. If you figure out where the attention deficit is coming from you can begin to understand how to handle it. I was victim of DV since very young, no father figure and latched on to the first person that made me believe he loved me to and I began to pass the cycle on to my son. I left my husband and invested in my child. And we found where he attention deficit came from… me. His hyperactivity stemmed from I had to give him my attention even if he was getting in trouble. He is a talented athlete and my world revolved around him playing football and his school behavior. He hasn’t taken any kind of medication since 8th grade. And football became his positive outlet for the hyperactivity. He would struggle but if he needed me or the school needed me, I’m otw. Jobs knew, he came first anything school or sports related… I’m not asking, he will never have to ask if I can be there for him. He graduated with 3.8 in one of the states best schools and was the 6A All District Linebacker and Defensive MVP. This day we are in we can give our kids the attention they REQUIRE as they forming social and interpersonal skills. Sorry for the book but it saved our life.

Routine is key, and a detailed one like 7am out of bed, 710 breakfast, 730 brush teeth hair and wash face, 745 get dressed, 8…etc. put in free time too.

My daughter responded well to background music during activities. Her mind was going a million miles an hour so it gave her some focus.

Every child is different though and what works for one may not work for the next.

Reward positive behavior, minimize reactions to negative behavior.

Also there is adhd therapy and counselors that can work with you.

Run like hell !!! My stepdaughter has it and I have never been so stressed out in my life !!! Real mom never cared and dad was always working…this took my life away from my own children. Its fighting a losing battle that you’ll never win. Shes 36 now and is still way out there.Cold hard truth here but I HATED EVERY MINUTE OF IT ALL and my health from the stress literally bout killed me.NEVER AGAIN !!!

PCIT style therapy works. Give it a try. I work in a mental health office. I have seen so many families come together and finally figure out what works for them with a counselor.

1 Like

Sports… such as gymnastics or even a club at school some type of activity that helps them physically and mentally if they aren’t in school they need routine it’s so difficult when they have to stay still all the time

1 Like

Also, I am an adult with ADHD and was a child with ADHD, not listening is something you can overcome. She can develop skills to help her focus long enough to listen and retain what people are saying to her. Get her in therapy.

7 Likes

I have adhd and 2 of my kiddos do. One is an adult one is 13. The number one thing to remember is our brain doesn’t function like yours. If you ask me a question It takes me a bit before I process what is said. Doesnt mean I ignore or don’t listen its that my processing isn’t the same. So if you ask a question always repeat it. If you want them to do something make sure its short things or its shortened lists. Redirect if its a task you want done and it isn’t getting complete. And if she’s still having issues with finishing tasks and doing things make sure its brought up with the dr. They start kids on low doses so they can adjust as needed. They don’t know to adjust if you don’t let them know.

she will grow out of it it took me till I was 26

1 Like

Get help from agencies in your area. Counselors and behavior therapists. Referrals from her doc or school or some dont need referrals. And adhd is often accompanied by odd or oppositional defiant disorder.

2 Likes

Positive reinforcement

1 Like

If you are throwing multiple things her way she isnt getting any of it. Have her look at you while making her sit down. Give her one direction at a time. Have her repeat it back to you. She can focus on one thing if that is all she has. Example is my daughter has adhd…I cannot tell her hang up your coat, get a snack, do your homework, clean your room then you can play. Because she will not remember most of what was said. So its hang up your coat. Then she does. Then tell her she may have a snack. Etc. She isnt just not listening on purpose. She may genuinely not remember or understand. Routine is key. Once you have her set on a routine part of the day will go much easier.

She needs an outlet for her energy Dance, horseback riding, sports, drawing…something she loves
I went the medication and therapy route and regret it with my daughters…did not work
And one daughter became an addict later on after HS

I have 2 grand daughters with the same thing… Go talk to doc and ask to try something else…we had to try several diff meds to find right one… Then u may have to reteach acceptable behavior…

1 Like

My first question is How old is she?

Time out and taking things away won’t work for an adult with ADHD let alone a child. Its a condition that she cannot help nor control and she shouldn’t be punished for that. Occupy her mind all the time keep her busy, if you can’t be bothered for that leave them alone.

6 Likes

Contact your pediatrician.

Keep her mind busy. Sports, video games, puzzles, art, rubix cube. Maybe teach her to crochet. She could make blanket, booties, hats for newborns and donate to your local hospital

She use to the negative attention… she knows it gets everyone’s attention… spend a weekend with her … when she does bad ignore it but when things are good … praise the hell out of it!

4 Likes

People talk when others are bad all the damn time… change it up . Only speak good of her … it will start out 2 things and grow to 20

2 Likes

The bad … tell her I dont like that about you but I love this …

Works for all people

She needs more interaction from her parents and adults in her life. My child is adhd snd I’ve noticed she acts more difficult when she’s wanting some attention.

A child with adhd can not controll themselfs so punishing them for something even they can’t controll just makes things worse .

10 Likes

My son has ADHD of course hes 19 and doesn’t need med anymore he has it still. Every now and then he get hyper you can it’s coming out. What you doing is taking stuff away and time out is good now as far as the listening I never had that problem with my son sometimes I did not very often I guess. But I feel all kids don’t listen. You could also talk to her Dr mabe theres a different kind of med she can go on my son took Concerts. Like 18 kilograms it helped him. Thats the only other advice I can give ya. Good luck I hope everything works out.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum! How to parent a child with ADHD? - Mamas Uncut

1 Like

Looooots of patience. I have a son who is diagnosed ADHD and Autism. So he’s basically like the energizer bunny. Therapy helps too

2 Likes

pediatric behavioral therapy that focuses on helping build life skills for those good behaviors. You have to remember adhd is they think in the now, they dont think past and what consequences will happen, they dont think future of what will happen. it is impulse control and their “now” which drives their actions. Lots to teaching and patience

4 Likes

Adhd is not necessarily a behavior issue. She needs to be in therapy to help learn how to deal with the symptoms. Routines help tremendously.

1 Like

I know the feeling I have a adhd child who also has ocd and autism it can be hard but Try and take it day by day, don’t scream that only makes things worse and what I find works which drives me mad is sometimes speak to them like a toddler slowly and calming plus if u can find a awesome support group or support page helps to

1 Like

I don’t know her age but through behavioral medicine there’s tutors and structures programs like classes for her. Children with ADHD tend to become addicted to electronics because the games and videos match the level of frequency their mind is going. The games help them slow down and think. Picture driving on a Texas freeway where everyone is flying by! And you’re going the speed limit. You try to pay attention to ever vehicle but you’re moving so fast! That’s how their mind is going everyday. Get her in occupational therapy Or behavior med. they’ll give you tools and provide stimulating classes for her to learn and manage ADHD.

4 Likes

Okay, growing up with adhd i can give you one important piece of advice. PLEASE dont be harsh if you ask the child to sit in time out and they cant sit still. I NEVER could and i couldnt help it. And even now as an adult i still cant sit still.

1 Like

It sounds like he has ODD on top of it… My biggest suggestion is when you discipline him, make sure you go through with it. These kids will completely take advantage of people being push overs. Also, do you give him a lot of screen time? I’ve been finding that when I cut out a lot of my daughter’s screen time (she has adhd and odd) it really helps with her behavior. I’ll let her have 1hr a day and if she is good, she can earn more. It’s something that really works for us. Also, take him to a behavioral health center. They have all the resources you will ever need! Good luck :black_heart:

2 Likes

Give her choices. For example:, you can clean your room today or tomorrow, but it must be done. Give a clear consequence. Natural consequences are the best. So if she didn’t get her room clean, she doesn’t get to have the friend over to spend the night that she wanted. Or she doesn’t get to watch a tv show or play a video games she wanted. Let her know what the consequence will be ahead of time. Stick to it! If you don’t clean your room, you won’t get to do X or X will be taken away. Consistency is the key. Finally, reward her if she does do a good job. It could be a special treat or just a high five. Once she starts to do better, you can phase out the rewards. Good luck!

1 Like

We have a son with ADHD, nothing has worked for him so far, it’s all trial and error I think. Everyday is a challenge for him and for us. We don’t know what to do anymore :sob::sob: doctors and therapists tell you to do this and that, but it’s all text book, they don’t have to live with it 24/7. My son’s paediatrician has said don’t bring him to the appointments, she couldn’t handle him for 20 minutes before she was saying to take him home. It’s not fair on anyone. Just take it day by day, that’s all you can do. :sob:

2 Likes

My daughter is going with ndis now and she’s getting a lot of help with her behaviour and speech she’s nearly 5, u just need a lot of patience

ADHD is really hard to handle, best bet is to live in the moment, but to actually have actual conversations with those who has ADHD, you have to have background music. Throw away the pills, it will never work. Stay blessed
:two_hearts::monkey::open_hands::skull::two_hearts:

Only thing that works for my son is reward for behaving. Discipline was just lack of earning said reward and loosing electronic usage if behavior continued

1 Like

Make sure she has the correct diag - SPD is not in the DM but it could be an issue also , ODD is in the DM

1 Like

Make sure to look at the side effects of the medicines as well bc it can make everything worse! My son got aggressive and very violent. He was also just being defiant and unruly bc he also had ODD. He was also destructive. When we stopped those meds he chilled out a lot and was more responsive.

1 Like

Encourage and reward good/positive behaviors so they want to do what it takes to earn the reward. Positive mindset vs. the negativity of nagging and constant discipline that doesn’t work long term…
Lamar Steele

Don’t punish her for something she can’t control.

1 Like

I’m sure it’s different for all… my son is 17 now and doesn’t have to be on meds anymore. he has learned how to cope or handle himself better. Lots of counseling learning coping skills, redirection, Lego’s, playdough, hot wheels, and black coffee. Running laps helps too. He sometimes reminds me to calm down😏…

1 Like

Praise her for when she does good. Focus on how to redirect her when she feels like she is lost in her own mind. Cut out red 40 from her diet.

You’re punishing them for their disability. Try calmly sitting down and saying their name before you speak to them. Tell them it’s important they listen why you don’t like them doing x. Use a warnings system. Explain that there will be a consequence if they continue to do x. Don’t punish for things related to their ADHD though…just give a kind reminder in that instance.

1 Like

Talk to her doctor and see what can be done.

2 Likes

Counseling is my best advice along with no sugar, only fruits, juices, milk, and water. Also, keeping her busy helps a lot; like dance or some sort of sport or just getting her to do something outside.

Chore chart for tasks and behavior; busy, regular schedules; plus lots and lots of activity/exercise helps. Stress balls and fidget spinners, and get two of everything because we lose stuff all the time.

If she has trouble reading and comprehending, try having her listen to an audio version while she reads from a book or e-reader. Watch her diet for red dyes. Be prepared to switch gears often, use timers (the old fashioned crank ones so she can easily see how much time is left) for tasks be it homework, household chores, or behavior goals. Switch things up often: 15 minutes of homework, then 10 minutes of running around outside, then 15 minutes of homework, then washing dishes, then 15 minutes of homework etc….

My ex and I used to take turns redirecting our son to his homework problems in the he early grades so we could alternate getting him back on track with taking walks outside fir us to calm down, though ODD also made him complain-y & stubborn.

Work with a mental and behavioral therapist.

Recommend anything by Sari Solden— she works with women and girls with ADHD because it can present so differently than in boys. Also read the book “You mean I’m not lazy, stupid or crazy?”

We don’t mean to be annoying, forgetful and unfocused: we’re just wired differently.

When talking to her, get to her level, look her in the eye, hold her hand, arm, face, or touch her in some way to get her attention. Then make sure she focuses on you and have her take a few deep breaths before you deliver whatever it is you want to say. Also write it down to help her remember.

Talk to her teachers, the school counselor, any coaches, and get an IEP and whatever other services the school offers.

Take her to her doctor and discuss different medications. Better yet take her to a naturopath for natural treatments.

I am a adult in my 40’s with ADHD (still on my medicine) and 2 of my sons had it growing up and one still struggles with it … Being consistent,having a routine and discipline works wonders… As far as discipline goes what ever punishment you choose it’s best for it to be for THAT DAY ONLY … EVERYDAY IS A NEW DAY AND NEEDS TO BE TREATED AS SUCH ! Our brain are wired for in the moment not long term… So we get that someone is upset with us and we have done something wrong but minutes later we have forgot about it and moved on to whatever else … And reminding you will have to remind them over and over again and it will feel like the kid is not listening but keep reminding because sometimes we hear you but we just can’t pay attention and process it because are focused on whatever else … Don’t sit the child down when trying to explain or get their attention it only makes it worse those with ADHD need to be able to move around to help focus … Try standing the child in front of you with no distractions such as tv or people… Don’t give long explanations be short and to the point … we can not focus on conversation to save our own damn life lol … Also I don’t give a damn what anyone says MEDICINE is THE KEY but the key is also finding the right one and not giving up … DONT let the doctors add any meds with it because the roller coaster it puts you on only makes things worse … Hope this helps and good luck!

Change diet no sugar aswell

There are some great books for foods I used when my kids were littlies tried medication too changed alot when the whole diet was changed there’s a book someone Greene wrote About ADHD changed our lives

Physical activity is huge. I had undiagnosed adhd as a child it sucks you have so many emotions and feelings that you don’t understand. Creates place in the house and Select one to two hours where she can play/sit/dance in this area however she needs to. A lot of times she will want to sit upside down in chairs because it can make her brain feel calm. Listening, lots of incentives, don’t have to be huge but like hey you earned an extra 10 minutes of whatever. A big thing most don’t understand with adhd is it is very painful to do things we aren’t interested in even though we know there will be consequences if there isn’t something else motivating us.

1 Like

Maybe her meds aren’t working for her?

3 Likes

I was on pills as well and once off them I felt 100% better therapy also helped with learning how to control my emotions etc. I’m now 31 and still use some of my therapy methods

Get her really active… like run & play for a few hrs… see if that doesn’t wear her down…

1 Like

Sorry. No easy answer for any of the parents who care.
You will both need to learn all you can about ADD and ADHD, and how to parent children who have learning and behavioral challenges.
It is MUCH MORE than just “discipline”; no matter how much you want it to be that easy. Suck it up. Find a family therapist and child psychologist, and make sure the diagnodis and meds are correct.
Then the involved adults can start working on themselves, and how to arrive at a cohesive parenting plan together.

You need to take her to a child psychologist and figure out how to help her. I speak from a well if experience in this, because I’m in the same boat.

2 Likes

Routine routine routine. If his medication isn’t helping it’s time to go back to the drawing board. If he’s not on fluoxetine then try it. That helps with autism. Concerta… risperidone… maybe all three. I’m sure there’s many others out there.

Prayer n get her a theraphist. I prayed for my son n taht helps so much. His therpahist train me to train him. Also remember that they need an specific diet for the brain n regularly double the exercise that regularly lowers urges, how much will they lower it I don’t know it depends but having a professional team will help u so I suggest seing an adhd theraphist, n using some kind of reward systems, have a strong consistent schedule, make sure u edify her a lot for a person who is acknowledged for their good they regularly like to do even more good stuff. :wink: also I didn’t knew this but my son was hiding that he was super sad bwxuase he was the worst student at math n he broke down crying (he confess this after we started to study way more time together ) I help him study xtra , he received an award for being #1 math student n his self steem whent up thru the roof n he less disobedient. So I would pray n ask God for u to find out if she is going thru something that you don’t know about thar she needs help with. Ps when I used to have really bad ADDany situations I could control myself, I used to feel electricity running thru my body n would get strong urges n would not had piece till I finish doing what used to urge me even thoug I didn’t want to do it. I used to have medicine n q medical team n it help but I hated being high . Medicine from concentration would only allow me to focus on what u was concentrating on, n even thoug I was aware of the things going around me I just didn’t register it. People would talk to me. Some times people would talk to me but I would just ignore them becucause my mind would not register it becuase it was already concentrated on that one other thing. I don’t know if maybe yoir daugther goes thru the same? I told my psikiatrist this n he said is not normal but it can happen. So maybe she is too high n not trying to ignore you on purpose :thinking:. Thansk to Gos tehu years of prayers, exercise, brain diet n drinking kinkobiloba I don’t get those urges , I’m of my meds n after 7 years of not passing my classes I’m finally passing my classes at college n I don’t get those horible urges to do things I didn’t want to do. Ps also my medicine would give me fits of rage if I didn’t pray enough. U have to be aware of her side effects because it may be her brain under medicine n not her so investigate n pray over everything. I’m doing the same for my kid.

1 Like

I have a 7 year old who has severe adhd! Only meds that I could get to work was adderal ( I was reluctant to do at first) you need to change her meds until you find one (and right dosage) that works for her. Stimulate her brain and get her physical activity! A color chart for the day to show good/bad. and a treat if she’s good can help (his 1st grade teacher taught me) push her into wanting to try to be good. But you have to remember it is not completely their fault. Caffeine helps, sugar helps, stay away from red 40 dyes in food and drinks. Also with my son it helps to have a routine everyday!

1 Like

She probably has another undiagnosed issue. It may not even be her fault at all

1 Like

Speak to her pediatrician and therapist. Work towards cognitive behavioral therapies and such.
Stick with it

2 Likes

It’s possible the medication isn’t working properly.
Vyvanse is a nice one that doesn’t seem to give too many side effects.
But as stated above, I’d look into a psych dr for her, just to see if there’s anything else that may be going on.

1 Like

Every answer you get here is going to be different. As a mum with 3 children who all have adhd odd asd anxiety sleep insomnia & others still being diagnosed what works for 1 child may not work for another what sets 1 child off may be what calms another adhd doesn’t have a set category of what will work what won’t work what will set them off or what will help. My oldest daughter needs quiet & calm she hates noise & when she gets extremely worked up or having 1 of her bad days i get down to her level & talk to see what she thinks will help her & help the situation where as my son he is extremely fidgety when he sets off not alot will calm him he climbs things hits throws things screams etc but most days give him some thing that peaks his attention & he will self calm fidget toys & outdoor equipment have become must haves in our house where other daughter shes still young shes not yet regulated on any medication & she struggles to self regulate or have help regulating her emotions moods etc but its more a case of trying to find what works for her

Have two grown boys with ADHD, ASD, ODD ,CD ,RAD
It’s trail and error different meds etc ,diet ,but routine is a big one .
Paediatrician told me when they were little giving them a pepsi max or a strong cup of coffee or tea was like giving them Ritalin, they’re uppers to us with the caffeine but with kids with ADHD etc it acts like a downer .
If my boys were having an episode or wouldn’t calm down by themselves through techniques etc I’d do that and they would calm down but every child is different. You also have to learn to read they’re triggers and episodes and learn to intercept it before it goes from 0 to 1000

The first thing our doctor asks is “is it behavior or is it the adhd?”
Ask this to yourself constantly!!!
Not listening is behavior. Having trouble with directions-adhd.
Try one given command at a time. Instead of “clean your room” , say “go pick up clothes” then when done “go make bed”. Lists have been great for my child.

2 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum! How to parent a child with ADHD? - Mamas Uncut

2 Likes

I have ADHD. Don’t get upset when they go in circles. We are unlike others. I have aways done better some structure but freedom to bounce from one thing to another. But I see too many of anything. Toys cloths it’s hard. I do better with fewer choices. Like less is better attitude. I still like less. It claims me. Of course I grew up with ms clutter and mr I got it all. So as I was preparing to sell
Me house I figured some if this out less is better. And I will my new home be decluttered. Because that works for me

9 Likes

The meds arent working see doctor and also counceling ask doctor if your school district has classes or programs for kids with special needs look into that adhd is a title 1 disability and kids can get help through college but start with family doctor

8 Likes

First of all look at her diet there’s a lot of foods that can cause the ADHD to get worse and her to behave more poorly. Secondly try giving her a choice I think too many parents take away what should be their children’s choices when we are children don’t act appropriately in public and we continue to allow them to go to that friend’s birthday party because we feel poorly about keeping them out of the fun as opposed to putting that responsibility where it belongs on the child no I did not keep you from your friend’s birthday party you chose to conduct yourself from public poorly therefore you law chose to lose the privilege to be in public with your friend at her birthday party we take away our children’s choices and they become frustrated and fight us for control I think the key is to teach them to think for themselves and to empower them with the knowledge that they have control over their own life they have control over the consequences good or bad if they run off at the mouth and the kid down the street slaps the tire out of them because they did stop being offended by it empathize of course if I’m sure that hurt but have them think about how their actions could have pushed that person to there focus on your child’s actions and what your child can do to change the outcome of that situation

7 Likes

Change her medication… its obviously not working for her… also remove as muchh sugar and preservatives from her diet as possible… even if u only swapped white bread for wholemeal and from a bakery instead of supermarket, u will notice a huge difference!!

9 Likes